Soul Exchange

Tears were still falling down my cheeks. Without caring about the pillow which was now almost soaked by it. Yes, like most young people, I suffered from a sacred illness commonly known as a broken heart. Oh God, this is not the first time I feel this heartache. I have had similar illnesses every so often. Once, twice, three times, even many times I experienced that suffering. But then it was different. At that time I broke my heart because the person I love did not do the same thing. And surely it was not as painful as I feel right now. Well, I'm heartbroken because I broke up with my boyfriend. Yeah, I don't know how many tons of tears I shed. But I'm sure there were already so many tears spilling out of my eyes. Evidently even my pillow and blanket were almost soaked. Choi Sungyoon, my ex boyfriend, he dumped me—ah, no.. He and I broke up—we broke up nicely—not because we didn't love each other anymore. If that was the reason, there was no way I could cry this much. Me and him broke up because I was about to be arranged with another guy I didn't even know. Oh.. Really, I'm really sad. My parents, why are they that cruel to me? Even though they knew that I already had a lover. They even knew Justin well. But why? Why? Why did I have to be arranged with another guy? What is the real reason? Didn't Sungyoon come to the house often and he even always brought home some gifts. But why my parents still did it to us? I had suggested Sungyoon to just elope. But he rejected that insane idea because we still haven't graduated from college and we still have two semesters left, so it's a shame to just drop out. Moreover, he also doesn’t have a truly established job. He is already working part-time at a cafe, but he always told me he wanted to get a better job so that he could make me happy. But what is it all for now? I may even now belong to someone else, not Sungyoon.. My God, what do I do now? ♬ Baby look at me now! Look at me now.. ♬ The sound of the ringtone coming from my phone made me remove the pillow that was originally attached to my face. Oh God, my eyes completely won’t open, they felt sticky from crying too long. Tsk.. I never thought breaking up with a lover would be this torturous. Still sobbing, I reached for my phone which was accidentally crushed by my body. It was Sungyoon. I took a full chest breath before picking up his call. "Hello.." I said hoarsely, barely audible because of the effect of crying earlier. I didn't immediately hear the answer from him. I was silent and didn’t make any sound. In my heart I prayed that Sungyoon wouldn't make his voice, or else it would only made me feel even more tortured. ["Don’t Cry.."] Great. Even though that was all he said from his mouth, but it had succeeded in making me almost die holding back sadness. I cried again but this time I couldn't hold it in anymore. I cried like a kid who can’t hide the sound of crying. "Hu hu hu.. Sungyoon .. hiks .. what should I do? I- I really don't want to be apart from you .." I cried. ["I know .. I'm also sad to see this reality. But you still can't go against your parents’ wishes .."] No, Sungyoon.. Why did you say that? It would be better if you wanted me to reject my parents' wishes and stay with you. Don't you know? Your words pierced my heart and made me even more sick. I could no longer answered his words. I really couldn't hold my tears anymore. I didn't care anymore if my parents heard my cry. Maybe it would be better if they listened to it so they would know that their decision was actually bringing suffering to their daughter. ["Jiyeon .. please, don't cry anymore .."] W-what was that? That’s no way.. I heard his voice a bit different. Is he—crying? No... He shouldn’t cry, or I would feel even more sick to hear that. "S-Sungyoon .. You— crying?" I didn't hear a reply from him. But vaguely I could hear muffled sobs from there. "Sungyoon.." ["Go to sleep.. Don't think about this anymore.. I don't want to hear you cry again. Tomorrow morning when we meet, you have to show your cheerful face as usual. Got it?"] "Sungyoon—" ["Good night, Jiyeon —"] Tuut .. Tuut .. Tuut .. "H-hey, Sungyoon .. Wait .. Sungyoon .." What was that? Sungyoon just cut the call? Sungyoon.. He must be feeling very sick and sad because of me. I'm sorry Sungyoon .. It’s not what I wanted at all. I love you. Indeed. And I really don't want to be apart with you. Because I couldn’t take it anymore, I immediately shuffled from the top of my bed then hurried out and down the stairs to the living room where I thought my parents were there. "I don't want to be arranged!" I shouted without preamble. Even though my vision was a little blurry because it was blocked by the tears, I could see the reactions of my parents who were shocked at my sudden yell. "Jiyeon .." said Mom. "I reject this nonsense arranged marriage. I don't want to marry anyone except Sungyoon!" I continued loudly. My chest heaved and fell from trying so hard to hold my emotions in order not to burst too badly. Because if not, all the objects near me would immediately drift everywhere. I saw Mom who was originally sitting on the sofa now got up and approached me. "Mom.. please, don't torture me like this. I really love Sungyoon.. I don't want to marry someone else .." I sobbed slowly. Mom touched my hair and stroked me gently. "Jiyeon, I understand your feelings.. But you still have to marry the guy of our choice .." she said trying to persuade me. I brushed his hand roughly. Mom looked surprised by my actions. As a child, I never once acted so rudely on my own parents before. But I didn’t care anymore. I've really lost my temper. "Why, Mom? Why? What did Sungyoon do wrong? Is he not good? Not rich? Mom, please.. Don't force me to marry another guy.. Please .." "No, you can't. You have to marry someone else. Not with Sungyoon." "But why? Why, Mom? Why?" Mom was just silent while looking at me with a look of pity, but I didn't hear any words that came out of her mouth. "Mom, say something! Why can't I marry Sungyoon, huh?" I returned to strafe Mom, but Mom remained silent and now instead lowered her head. Why are you acting like this? Has Sungyoon done anything wrong? But what? "Jiyeon! Enough! Don't argue with our will!" I heard Dad yell at me. I was silent even though I was still sobbing. I saw that Mom was still silent. Then without saying anything else, I left and immediately ran out of the house, ignoring the calls from them. I'm already disappointed with them. ***