Room 97

Chapter 17

“What do you mean?” Jennie asked as she was slowly shaking her head, not accepting and believing what Lisa had just said.

“I might have said that I like you before and we already kissed, but...” Lisa sighed as she hung her head down. “I don’t think I had moved on yet.” She mumbled. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea that I like you because you remind me of Chaeyoung. I miss her. I’d be lying if I told you thinking of her doesn’t hurt me, it does. It still does. And even though it hurts, I got used to living with it.” Lisa began sobbing. “I’m so sorry, Jennie. I’m a big mess. You don’t deserve someone like me. We should end whatever we had started. I’m sorry for wasting your time.” Lisa sniffed. “I don’t think I’m ready to love you as you are, I don’t want to hurt you.”

Jennie felt like the air was being sucked out of her lungs and her heart was aching badly that she didn’t know if it was still pumping or not. She felt lifeless, she didn’t realize she was already crying.

“Please, don’t cry.” Lisa said as she sob.

“How could you make me believe that everything was real?” Jennie said with an unreadable expression as tears continued to fall from her eyes.

“It wasn’t my intention. I’m sorry.” Lisa tried to hold Jennie’s hand but Jennie withdrew her hand quickly.

“You don’t want to hurt me? Guess what, you already did.”

“I’m really sorry.” Lisa begged as she shook her head and Jennie took a deep breath, looking up to prevent her tears from falling. “I need to fix myself first before loving you, for real.”

“You don’t have to. You already said it, we should end whatever we had started.” Jennie wiped her tears and she stood up. “And I guess it would be better if we won’t see each other. I need a break.” Jennie said in a cold tone and she turned her head to Lisa before finally walking out. “You’re worse than Jungkook.” Jennie said and she closed the door, leaving Lisa crying miserably.

Once Jennie locked the door, she leaned against it as she took a deep breath to compose herself. No one should see her crying or know she cried, especially Jisoo. Jennie covered her face with her hands as she shook her head. She definitely needed a break. Persuading Lisa got her drained and tired. She might have said that she see hope in Lisa before but now it was beginning to be different. She was losing hope in both of them. A relationship wouldn’t work or last long if the other is letting go. That was pretty much what Lisa just did. And Jennie thought, maybe it wasn’t their time to be together or maybe they weren’t really meant to be together.

***

Dinner had already come and Jennie was in line with Jisoo behind her at the cafeteria to get their patients’ food. Jisoo noticed something different about Jennie, she wasn’t used to Jennie being really silent and it was obvious that something was off. Jennie was like physically present but her mind was wandering elsewhere, she was basically acting like a zombie.

“Hey, Jennie.” Jisoo lightly nudged Jennie and the latter looked at her with a blank expression. “Are you okay? You look like a zombie.”

“Thank you.” Jennie said and moved forward. Jisoo knitted her brows. What kind of response was that?

“Thank you? You’re not going to say something that probably bothers you because I can clearly see something is wrong with you. Or maybe you’ve gone crazy as well.” Jisoo tried to joke in attempt to make Jennie laugh but the latter didn’t even move a muscle. “You are beginning to creep me out.” Jisoo remarked as she sighed. “Crazy girlfriends.” She mumbled under her breath.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry. Just tired, I think.” Jennie said and after she got Lisa’s food, she went back to Lisa’s seat without even saying goodbye to Jisoo. The latter just raised an eyebrow and shrugged it off. Maybe she was just really tired.

The whole dinner was excruciating and unbearable for Jennie and Lisa. Lisa was silently eating by herself while Jennie was just sitting in front of her, waiting for her to finish. They didn't even dare to look each other eye to eye, they just couldn’t.

Jennie brought back Lisa to her room and she decided to go to Mr. Choi’s office. She took a deep breath before knocking on his door.

“Come in.” Mr. Choi announced and Jennie entered the office. “Oh, Jennie. What brings you here?”

“Um, I know this is too sudden but could I take a week of leave of absence? I need to rest for a while. Being here made me tired and drained and I’m still kind of traumatized from what happened before. I need to unwind before I start again if you’d allow me.” Jennie said and Mr. Choi thought for a moment before heaving a sigh.

“Alright. I guess you do need it.” Mr. Choi said.

“This is probably too much of me to ask but I don’t think I can take care of Lisa. I’m thinking of finding a part-time job while I work here so I could save more.” Jennie said and Mr. Choi raised an eyebrow and blinked.

“Sure. As long as you can manage your time, I don’t see a problem with that.” Mr. Choi sympathetically smiled as he nodded.

“Thank you, Mr. Choi.” Jennie halfheartedly said and turned her heels to the door and before she stepped out, she glance at him. “One more thing, can Jisoo look after Lisa while I’m gone? I think she can manage her better than the other nurses.”

“O-okay.” Mr. Choi said as he hesitantly nodded, completely puzzled with Jennie’s action.

“Thanks sir, have a good night.” Jennie said and she stepped outside and closed the door behind her.

Before she called it a day, she decided to visit Lisa before going home. She had to say goodbye. Jennie opened the door and she saw Lisa already in bed, her back facing her. Maybe Lisa had already fallen asleep. Jennie thought it would be easier to say her goodbye while Lisa was asleep. It wouldn’t be hard for her. Jennie took a deep breath before quietly walking and sitting on the chair.

“Lisa, I just came by to say I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier. It was just really hard for me to accept that I thought everything was real between us. And I was serious when I said I need a break, so here I am. I’m saying my goodbye for now, I thought we both need some space. Maybe it would be easier if we don’t see each other for a while. But don’t worry, I'll leave you with Jisoo. You’re still in good hands.” Jennie halfheartedly chuckled and she sighed. “I’ll be gone for a while, I need to unwind. But I’ll be back again soon. I won’t really leave your side, but I want you to know that even though the thought of you not loving me is hard and painful for me, I’m still here for you and I wish you well. I’m hoping to see you smile again when we meet each other again.” Jennie sadly smiled as she felt a tear escaped her eye. “Be strong, okay?” Jennie was about to stroke Lisa's hair but she prevented herself from doing it, afraid she might wake Lisa. “See you around.” Jennie stood up and left the room, not knowing Lisa was awake the whole time and silently crying while listening to Jennie saying her goodbye to her.

“Chaeyoung, what should I do?” Lisa said to herself. “How can I let you go?”

***

Jennie just finished organizing her things on her desk when Jisoo came in to their office and she stretched her arms out to relax.

“Ah, I can’t wait to reunite with my bed again. I miss my bed so much.” Jisoo said as she sighed. She glanced at Jennie and she remembered what happened at the cafeteria earlier so she decided to talk to Jennie. “I guess you can’t wait to go home as well, huh.” Jisoo said and Jennie gave her a small smile and Jisoo shook her head when she noticed that smile was not even real. “Are you kidding me? Are we playing ‘how many masks am I wearing’?” Jisoo said.

“Jisoo.” Jennie looked at Jisoo and the latter gave her a puzzled look, waiting for her to continue. “I’ll be gone for a week.”

“What? Why? Are you going on an spontaneous vacation or something?” Jisoo tried to joke and Jennie shook her head.

“I need to rest from everything before I go crazy.” Jennie halfheartedly chuckled.

“What about Lisa? Who’s going to look after her?”

“I told Mr. Choi that you should be the one to look after her while I’m gone.”

“Me? Whoa, I don’t think I can go back there after that confession I just made. It’s making me cringe so much.” Jisoo shook her head with a displeased look.

“I trust you with her so please, take care of her for me for a while.”

“Jennie, you’re starting to scare me. Just tell me what's happening, please.” Jisoo said with a worried look. “Earlier you were all smiley but now you’re the exact opposite. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. You don’t really have to worry. I just need some rest, that’s all.” Jennie assured Jisoo with a smile. “And it’s just a week. It’ll pass quickly that you won’t even realize it’s over.”

“Alright.” Jisoo sighed, giving up on making Jennie open up to her. “See you again soon. Or maybe I’ll just pay you a visit one of these days but we’ll see.” Jisoo said.

“You don’t have to. I’ll be fine, really.”