Room 97

Chapter 18

Jennie opened her eyes with the feeling of ease without waking up to snooze her alarm early in the morning. If she was being honest, she could stay in bed all day and not think about everything. It’s been a while since she felt relaxed and it felt great. Everything was peaceful. Busying herself by doing chores helped her to at least worry less about Lisa. Maybe she made the right decision to take a break.

As Jennie was dusting off her window sill, she heard her phone ringing in her room. She stopped cleaning to get her phone and sat on her bed before she answered the call. Jennie was about to open her mouth to greet the caller but the latter spoke first.

“So you’re really serious about being gone for a while huh?” Jisoo said on the other line.

“Why would I even joke about it?” Jennie lightheartedly chuckled.

“You want to go for a drink later tonight? And you know, talk about some things maybe?” Jisoo suggested.

“Don’t bother, I’d rather sleep than drink. I seriously need it than wasting my life.”

“Aish, you know what, I’ll just pay you a visit so you better prepare a little something.” Jisoo dismissively said.

“But—”

“It’s not like you can even do anything to stop me.” Jisoo chuckled. “But really and seriously though, seeing you bothered makes me bothered as well. You’re like a little sister to me, I wish I could do something to help you feel less bothered.” Jisoo sighed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” Jennie said.

“So you really are not fine.” Jisoo said and paused for a second. “Mr. Choi almost caught me using my phone while on duty.” Jisoo quietly said. “But wait, does Lisa know you’re not coming today?”

“She was asleep when I checked on her last night. But tell her I’m out for a short vacation if she asked where I am.”

“Fine.” Jisoo sighed. “I’m going to go now.”

“Alright. Take care.” Jennie said and hung up.

***

After Jisoo had finished talking with Jennie on the phone, she hid it in her bag and took a deep breath before walking to Lisa’s room. Now she had to think how she could tell Lisa why Jennie was gone for a while, praying that Lisa would be in her best behavior even if Jennie wasn’t there. Jennie was the only one who could understand Lisa after all, so it was going to be a challenge for Jisoo.

She stopped in her tracks when she finally reached Lisa’s door. She took a deep breath again before unlocking the door. Jisoo saw Lisa sitting on the edge of her bed, her eyes looking outside the window. She knocked lightly on the door before speaking up.

“Hi.” Jisoo nicely said when Lisa turned her head to her.

“Hi.” Lisa said back unenthusiastically and went back to staring outside.

Jisoo furrowed her brows. Lisa knew Jennie was not coming? How?

“Um, how are you?” Jisoo managed to ask and she sat across Lisa.

“Good.” Lisa shortly answered, not meeting Jisoo’s eyes and the latter furrowed her brows when she saw Lisa’s eyes. It was kind of puffy and her nose was kind of red.

“Wait, did something happen?” Jisoo asked and she saw how Lisa’s eyes began to filled with tears.

“I’m sorry.” Lisa said.

“For what?” Jisoo asked, perplexed.

“I broke Jennie’s heart.” Lisa mumbled.

“You did...what? But yesterday—”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Lisa sniffed. “I’m a mess. She doesn’t deserve someone like me.” Lisa lowered her gaze and Jisoo sighed.

“Don’t you love Jennie?” Jisoo softly asked but Lisa stayed silent. She sighed then stood up. “I’ll be right back.” Jisoo said and left the room. Minutes later, Jisoo came back with a small notebook and a pen and she handed it to Lisa.

“What is this for?” Lisa asked.

“That’s my unused notebook, I want you to have it and maybe write down all your thoughts every time you feel sad or lonely or whatever you have in mind. Maybe it’ll help you feel at ease at least a little.” Jisoo said. “You heard Jennie’s goodbye last night, didn’t you?” She softly asked and Lisa slowly nodded. “Well, Jennie told me to look after you while she’s gone for a while. She said she’s going for a short vacation.”

“Thank you.” Lisa mumbled and Jisoo stood up.

“Well, since I can’t really look after you because I have my own patients to look after, let that notebook be your freedom wall. Maybe pretend it’s Chaeyoung if you still have some things you want to say if she’s still here, or maybe pretend it’s Jennie; ask where is she and whatnot.” Jisoo shrugged. “I’ll pick you up at lunch, okay? Now please don’t be dejected, I’m sure Jennie wouldn’t like that.” She sadly smiled.

“It’s hard to do but...I’ll try.” Lisa sighed.

“See you later.” Jisoo squeezed Lisa’s shoulder lightly and left the room.

When Lisa was alone in her room again, she stared at the notebook in her hand. Jisoo’s idea was kind of ridiculous to her. But she decided to give it a try even though she wouldn’t get an answer by writing down all her thoughts. She got the table and positioned it in front of her then she opened the notebook as she held the pen. She first closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she started writing.

It’s been only a day since you told me you’re giving us some space. I will never feel not guilty by thinking what I just did to you. I’m the worst and I really feel sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel unworthy and unwanted, I should be the one who should be called unworthy. It feels weird that my heart aches when I heard you say goodbye last night. I miss Chaeyoung but...I don’t know...when you left this room, I felt empty. This is so frustrating, I don’t know what's going on inside my head, I don’t know what my heart is really telling me. I won’t be surprised if I won’t see you again, you probably hate me now, I deserve it. But one thing is for sure, I’m glad that I met you and got to know you. You made me feel happy somehow. When I’m with you, everything just disappears. Thank you. You deserve much more in this world and it doesn’t include me.

After Lisa was finished writing, she heaved a sigh and brought down the pen. She felt somehow relieved writing that thought down. She looked outside the window again as she sighed, thinking what Jennie was probably doing right now. Was Jennie busy hating on Lisa? Or maybe Jennie was beginning to learn to forget her? It’s kind of sad for Lisa to think that but she thought it’s for the best. Maybe she should start to learn how to forget her.

***

It was already seven in the evening, Jennie had just finished cooking her dinner. Just when she turned off the stove, she heard a knock on the door. She wiped her hands with a clean cloth before proceeding to the door to open it. When she opened the door, her eyebrows raised in surprise when she saw Jisoo in front of her, holding a plastic bag containing cans of beer.

“How did you know I live here?” Jennie asked.

“I asked Mr. Choi.” Jisoo dismissively said. “May I come in?”

“Oh, yeah of course.” Jennie stepped aside for Jisoo to come through.

“Nice place you got.” Jisoo noticed.

“Thanks.” Jennie said. “What do you got there?” She pointed at the plastic bag Jisoo was holding.

“Oh, I just thought we could use some drinks. Today was a stressful day for me.” Jisoo said and sat comfortably on the couch as she put the plastic bag on top of the center table. She looked at Jennie expectantly but the latter just ignored her and went to the kitchen. Jisoo knitted her eyebrows. “Really? You’re not going to ask how Lisa was doing?”

“Why would I? I’m sure she’s doing just fine.” Jennie said as she set the table. “Have you eaten?”

“I was really hoping you’d ask me that.” Jisoo lightheartedly said.

“Lucky you, I’ve cooked enough.” Jennie smirked. “Come on, let’s eat.”

Jisoo stood up and sat across Jennie and started eating with her. She noticed Jennie’s actions were kind of...forced, unnatural, unenthusiastic. Something was definitely off. And why the hell Jennie wasn’t telling her anything? What the hell was happening?

“Who are you?” Jisoo asked and Jennie gave her a confused look before chuckling.

“What are you talking about?” Jennie asked as she furrowed her brows.

“You’re not the Jennie I know. What happened to the enthusiastic and optimistic Jennie? The gummy smiles? The sparks in your eyes?” Jisoo paused as she sighed. “What happened to you?”

“What happened to me?” Jennie halfheartedly smiled and avoided Jisoo’s gaze. “Lisa happened to me.”

“God, please just tell what happened. I’ve been so confused all day figuring out what the hell happened between the two of you. Yesterday everything was still fine and now it isn’t. What the hell happened?”

“Maybe it was just a one-sided thing. I felt like a fool.” Jennie bitterly chuckled as she shook her head and trying not to cry. “Maybe the problem was me. I easily believe everything I see, I thought everything was real. Maybe what I saw between us was just a mirage.”

“Oh Jennie.” Jisoo sighed and reached Jennie’s hand to squeeze it. “If you’re going to ask me, it‘s not really one-sided. Clearly, the both of you are hurt. I know it. I saw it in Lisa’s eyes. Jennie, you changed her.” She hopefully smiled and Jennie slowly met her eyes, the latter’s eyes glistening because of the tears forming in her eyes. “I know it’s hard for Lisa to maintain the image everyone knew she was, but when you came, I know she was slowly becoming herself again. You’re good for her. And come on, it can never be one-sided when the both of you are hurting.”

“She’s only hurting because she hasn’t moved on yet. I remind her of Chaeyoung. But yeah, maybe it’s a good idea to end everything we had started, it was her idea anyway.”

“And you’re just going to throw everything you’d made? Can’t you just wait a bit for her to forget about Chaeyoung so you two could start anew?”

“I don’t think she can love me. I’m not Chaeyoung, I’m not like her.”

“Exactly. You’re not Chaeyoung, you’re not like her. You don’t have to be someone you’re not because you’re you. Lisa will love you for that.” Jisoo smiled. “I know there are still a lot of things you want to tell me so let me get the beer for us.”