The Sterling Wolves Club

Kiara Breathe Deep, slow breaths Pinch my skin I am in control, I am in control Those words had annoyed me at every appointment with my therapist, but they were supposed to be a magic pill, a quick fix for moments like this. So why did I still feel so crippled by anxiety? When I moved to Emerald Heights for my enrollment into Sterling International, I made four simple rules for myself. One, don’t let anyone find out about my past. Two, make a good friend or two and lay low. Three, no blackouts and finally, four, stay away from the Sterling brothers. So simple. Yet, here I was, pacing the school hallways because I had to hide, because I broke two of my most important rules last night. I had a blackout, and I lost my virginity to a Sterling brother. The worst part? I can’t remember which one. 6 weeks prior “You have got quite the nerve showing up here. Do you know what this party is for? To say goodbye to friends you’re going to miss. Nobody is going to miss you, looneybin!” Sophianne’s words pierced right through my fragile heart, my eyes stinging as tears pooled in them. I could never fight Sophianne, not with the kind of history we had. Me- aggressor and her the victim of a violent girl who can’t control her wolf. “Why are you still here? Get away from her! Unless, you really want to kill her this time? A coma for three months was really not enough?” Her friends circled around me like they were ready to attack at the slightest hint that I wanted to be rebellious. “I am not here to hurt anyone.” My voice was barely a whisper as I murmured through a slightly open mouth. “Then, just go home!” Sophianne spat out, her voice echoing through the hotel conference room. The music had long stopped and everyone was looking at us. If only my mother had not pressured me to come here. Sure, the hotel belongs to our family, but graduation was over and the school only organized this party for fun. There was no need for me to be here. However, defying my mother could only ever be a dream. She always got her way, one way or the other. “I’ll sit by myself in a corner and have a meal. I won’t disturb- ” Before I could even finish what I had to say, someone threw an entire ice bucket over my head. I gasped, shivering immediately as I turned around to face the person behind this. Cody Everett. The only boy I have ever loved. The smirk on his face as I peeled my eyes open made the tears finally fall. Once, I thought he loved me, I thought I had finally found one person that doesn’t mind sticking by my side even though everyone hates me. I was wrong. After opening my heart to him, and almost losing my virginity to him, he betrayed me. All the half naked, provocative photos he had insisted I share with him circulated the school and the pathetic love letters I used to write to him were used to ridicule me. I was only part of a bet and a way for him to get Sophianne to finally give him a chance. He won, and my life became even more miserable. I still loved him, which is crazy because he never misses an opportunity to treat me like complete trash to this day. “Geez! Do I always have to take one for the team? Was anyone else going to make her shut up?” He questioned before another ice bucket was thrown over my head, then another and another. The cold water from the melted ice drenched my hair and the dress my mother paid a very pretty penny for. I was speechless, I had nowhere to turn to. Not even one person in this room sympathized with me. I ran out of the room as fast as I could. I couldn’t even make it to the door without ruining the perfect, white dress. Everyone tossed their drinks and food at me till I was out of the room. I did not stop running. I had to leave this place once and for all. “Where are you going, miss?” Michael, my personal driver, or more accurately, my parents’ eyes and ears followed behind me hastily. “Take me home! I hate home, but I can’t take this!” I screamed before I continued to run. I headed straight for the car once I made it to the parking lot. “Open the door, Michael! Now!” I was sobbing and the only thing he saw was an opportunity to get on a call with my mother. “Yes. Mrs Hutton, she is soaked.” I narrowed my eyes at him, just in disbelief. “Okay, got it, ma’am” he ended the call before finally opening the door. “You’re not funny!” I whimpered as I got into the car. The leather seats only made me feel more cold. “Good news. I am taking you home.” Michael announced with a smile on his face while I curled up into a ball and continued to cry. I had to get it all out before I looked my mother in the eyes because surely, she was going to make everything worse. The drive felt quicker than usual, but I had already wiped all my tears by the time I stepped into the house. Unfortunately, my room was upstairs, and right beside the staircase was the dining room, my mother’s favourite place to sit and wait for me. “Come here and look me in the eyes, now!” She yelled as soon as I made it into her line of vision. She was only concerned about one thing, as always. Did I have a blackout or not. I made no attempt to fight her request. Sure, a hug first would have made me feel better, but if she did hug me right now, then it wouldn’t be her. It would mean a clone has replaced her. “Good!” She huffed after staring into my eyes for an entire minute. Every time I had a blackout, my eyes were a different colour from their usual pale green. Sometimes it took days for them to return to normal, so my mother always knew what to look for. Believe it or not, this was part of our daily routine as long as I had gone somewhere. “Now, I am not even going to say much to you. You almost killed the girl, what did you think? That it would come without its consequences?” She rolled her eyes before she sat down on one of the dining chairs again. “You will be seeing your therapist everyday starting today.” She announced after I turned away to head upstairs. “And where do you think you are going? Sit down!” She demanded and I quickly obliged. “Take them!” Three new bottles of suppression pills were laid out on the table. “These are a new order. I want you to always have a bottle with you. Now, take another dose!” She gave me that glare that she always gives when she wants to let me know that whatever she just said is above board. “Mum, I took twice what I am supposed to take in a day just before heading to the party. On top of what I took in the morning. I can’t take another pill.” I still lamented and dared to anger her. “You foolish girl! How much longer are you going to be a burden? Just make my life easy and do as I tell you, god dammit!” She was hyperventilating from rage. The only thing I could do was hold back my tears and take the pills. Stupid, foolish, annoying, a mistake. She makes sure that not a single day goes by without her calling me those words but they still hurt like my heart was being stabbed every single time. Yes, I had put her through a lot of stress and embarrassment because of my condition, but how could that justify a mother behaving like this? In this modern age, every werewolf is obliged to take what we call suppression pills, pills that keep our wolves inactive as long as they are in our system. Because of the naturally violent nature of wolves, a law enforcing this policy was placed and whoever can’t follow it faces a death penalty. Only one wolf in the entire world does not take the pills. The Alpha of every wolf in the world and his three competing heirs. Currently, that would be Alpha Barron Sterling and his sons- Liam Sterling, Scott Sterling and Dylan Sterling. They were superior to us all. While the pills worked just fine for everyone, my wolf was stubborn and wanted to be in control. She has her win when I feel intense emotions, and as soon as she is in control, I become violent and never remember anything. I have always had blackouts since I was young. I would smash dishes when I didn’t get what I want or scratch my parents when I was upset with them, but the first time my parents believed that I do have blackouts was after the first one that still carries consequences to this day. I attacked my elementary school bully and got everyone to turn against me. She was hospitalized for weeks. The same thing happened in my freshman year of high school, just a different target. Sophianne spent three months in a coma after I almost beat her to death. It still eludes me how I could be capable of such strength but I could never know. What I do know is that those two incidents were the worst thing to ever happen to me. I never had a friend after what happened to Sophianne. The only way I escaped losing my freedom was pleading insanity like my mother’s fancy lawyers suggested. So, I had to take pills my psychiatrist prescribed as well, on top of the suppression pills. I took twice, sometimes three times the dose that everyone takes but still, I can always tell that she, my wolf, is present and waiting for me to make one deadly mistake- get too angry or too excited. “Don’t worry, mum. I will be out of your hair soon. I applied for Sterling International University and I will hear back from them soon.” My eyes were glued to my hands that were trembling on the table while I spoke, but when I finally mustered the courage to look at her, I saw a face I was not expecting to see after I said that. She looked amused. “What?” She gasped before she laughed hysterically, wiping the tears off her face before they could ruin her makeup. “I knew you were stupid and naive enough to send an application, but don’t tell me you are idiotic enough to think they will accept you!” She added and I felt my heart slowly sinking into my stomach. “Dear, you are the exact opposite of what Sterling International is looking for. Do you think your sister, Emma, got in because everyone that applies will be accepted? Don’t be so delusional! This is your final warning. Hand in an application at the city college and don’t anger me further!” She rose from her seat before she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. “Do I make myself clear?” I knew it was a bad idea but I insisted. “I graduated top of my class, I don’t have a single grade below A and my attendance was perfect, even with everything I went through. Of course I am perfect for Sterling.” I rarely defended myself like this, but if it has to do with Sterling, I will do it. “Everyone in Pine Valley hates me. I can’t go to Pine Valley College!” I pleaded and got nothing in return. Just a blank stare. In the morning, she was no different. Sudden, burning and stinging pain on my left thigh instantly woke me up. My eyes popped open and I reached down to grab the hand that was pinching my delicate skin. “It’s 6am and you have the audacity to still be sleeping?” My vision had barely cleared but I could make out the scowl on my mother’s face. “What? I don’t have anywhere to be, mother.” I responded, sitting up so my thighs were far from her hand. Her weight pressed down on the bed as she sat down on the edge before she laughed sarcastically. “Meds. Take them.” She opened the palm of her hand and reached for a water bottle on my night stand with her other hand. Judging by the way the colour of the pills had begun rubbing onto her palm, she had to have been holding them in her hand for a while. I grabbed the pills, shoved them into my mouth before washing them down with the water. When she glared at me again, I sighed before opening my mouth and lifting my tongue to show her that I was not just pretending to take the pills. “Good. Now get ready for your therapy session. You will be going every single day from now till you start college. We can’t have you acting up in a new environment.” She spat out before she stood up and turned around. “At 5pm, get yourself ready because we are having dinner with the Blackwoods. Never forget that you tried to kill their daughter less than three years ago, so don’t be surprised if they don’t even want to look at you.” The tears were coming again. I couldn’t let them fall, I had to be stronger than this. Dinner with Sophianne and her family? Sounds like a nightmare. “I messaged Estella before sleeping. She advised me to stay home after every session and write how I feel in my journal. I can’t make it.” I lied but she was quick to nod her head. It’s not like she wanted me there in the first place anyway. After she left, I dreaded getting ready to see Estella. It was always the same with her and I never felt like she helped me in any way. I buried myself in my blankets, maybe I could cling onto them for a few more minutes before leaving. Before I could do that, my phone chimed beside me. It was rare for my phone to make a noise. Could it be? Nervously, I picked it up and looked at the notification. It was an email from Sterling International. My hand trembled and my heart thumped hard and fast against my chest, but I powered through the fear of disappointment and opened the email. As soon as I read the first line, I dropped my phone and brought my shaky hands to my face. This was not a dream right? I picked the phone up again and read the first lines again. “Congratulations!” In bold caps. “We are thrilled to inform you that your application to Sterling International University has been accepted. Welcome to our esteemed institution.” My eyes were not deceiving me, I actually did it!