Darkness in my mind

CHAPTER 1 ~ CHILDHOOD Ever since the day I was born, My life have always been so miserable and worthless. My birth have always been recorded as the root of all evil, wickedness and regrets all over the world and ever since my birth was discovered things have always fallen apart for me and everyone else in my family. My mother had to go through a lot of pains just for me to survive and also during labour, she had to go through and endure so much pains just for me to come into this world to achieve my goals but instead my life ended up being the worst. I was not only born into a family of awful peace and sorrow, I was also born to make things even more difficult for them. My entire life was always like a movie, you know watching an horror movie being written as the story of your life with you not being able to change a single part of it. Right!!! That is what my story sounds like and even if you can imagine a story filled with so much epic and conflict, tears and disunity with no freedom at all...My father was the major problem we had, he was always as angry as a lion whose face is ready to tear the whole world apart, he always make things Tough and epic in the movie, and most of the time he is always unpredictable, he can do and Undo things at anytime. Most especially whenever he comes back from work, My mom would always warn me not to ever go close to him because he would definitely hurt me. He is always wearing a bad face on and not being able to taste a tiny drop of love bliss, patience and affection was one of my family's major problem but still yet nobody even seems to care about it. Ever since the day my mum decided to get married to my dad our lives has been so miserable. My mum and dad never got along with each other and they have never really showed themselves what true love and friendship means not even till the day I was born. Instead they would always spend their time fighting and laying curse on each other, hitting each other with every single thing they see or even pouring themselves hot water. Some people would say "Time heals everything while children changes everything" but that proverb was not even in my family's history book because not even a child nor time could change a single part of my story... Ever since my mum got pregnant of her first child which was probably me during her school days, her life has really not been the same. A Life filled with so many regrets, tears, sorrows and reckless hunger with a lot of unforgettable pains and memories but still yet she had to give birth and raise me. She had no choice than to embrace the precious gift the Lord has given to her, she never gave up on me, she promised herself not to ever leave me alone but to take good care of me and also protect me from my harmful father without letting a single string of my hair get touched not even till the day she will leave the whole world behind. My mum have always taught me while growing up not to ever believe a single word a guy says to me and not even my father should I trust for they are only here to destroy us, just like my dad did to her. My mum would always tell me the story of her life and how she ended up this way every night right before she goes to bed and she would always warn me not to ever make the same mistake she made with my dad when she was a teenager… My mum and dad met each other when they were in college and immediately after they met they fell in love with each other without even thinking twice about it ~I should call that love at first sight~ My dad have always been a gentleman and he have always proven to my mum that he loves her more than she could ever imagine. He promised not to ever touch her until the night of their wedding and still he will always do everything to make her happy and he did, not until one of his friends had to mislead him by saying "The flower he has been watering since all these days (make another person no go pluck am) Meaning it might end up being plucked by someone else. The thought of these words got my dad really confused and then he decided to make a plan. He called my mom one day and asked her to pay him a visit because he had something important to discuss with her. My mom asked if they could discuss it on phone because she was really busy but my dad declined instead he asked her to come and see him because it was very important. And my mum who have never for once rejected coming to see my dad had to go since it was urgent. She went and was served a drink by him and after some minutes, she slept off and woke up the next morning opening her eyes slowly with a Lot of pains driving out of her inner part. She was so weak and couldn't stand up, She tried to raise up her legs but they weren't moving "What on earth is going on with her she asked herself" Those were the thoughts going on her head at that moment right before she could finally force herself up. She looked around and saw herself in the bedroom she jumped up and shouted "Jesus Christ!!! She cried out to my dad who was busy drinking "Franklin?? What am I doing here?? She asked looking at my father whose face was already boiling harsh like hot water trying not to think of what to do to her when she wakes up with him not knowing whether to say sorry for his action or to get mad at her for lying to him. He just sat down there sipping his drink (alcohol) with his two legs crossed watching her display her madness. My mum stood up and move closer to where my dad was sitting and gave him a dirty hot slap asking him why he brought her into his bedroom and took advantage of her after promising her the whole world but my dad just sat there quietly and watched her leave. My dad felt really ashamed of what he did but was still glad he found out the truth before it was too late. He forgot about her really quickly and was already planning to move on not until one day, My mum came back to tell him she was pregnant. It was really unimaginable for him and he clearly denied the pregnancy, saying he was not the father of the child. He wasn't ready to be a father to a child at that time and he even threaten her to abort it with a big threat just to save his reputation... He gave her $60,000 and asked her to go for an abortion but instead my mum collected the money and told him she was not going to abort the baby… My grandfather who was just a noble man was very, very disappointed at her for being such a fool and a big disappointment to the family. She was only 18 at the time she got pregnant without even finishing her education but little did my grandfather know it was only as a result of r**e and boys tricks, asking her to come to his house with a motive of drugging her drink to make her sleep just to take advantage of her. My grandfather who was just a farmer had no other choice than to force his daughter into getting married to the awful man who decided to ruin her life completely and that was my dad. She was asked to either go for an abortion or get married to the man who impregnated her. She knowing she might not make it out through abortion, had to end up living with my dad (the devil’s first son) who have never for once showed her how it feels like to be woman but instead he was always maltreating her. My father have never for once showed my mum how it feels to be married and still in this hardship, My mum gave birth to me "she nearly died" and even after giving birth to me, My dad still did not stop his "Bad treatment" He would always beat my mom up every day just like a piece of cake and even after that he would forcefully sleep with her without even showing her a single sign of love, affection or sympathy. He would always insult her and will still instantly misuse her body and whenever she tries to fight back he would instantly lay a harsh slap on her face leaving her with a slight scare of pain. He would always punch and hit her very hard and will still always get mad at her whenever she tries to say something. I would always sit down and cry every day holding my little sister while my mum and dad are busy fighting themselves and laying curses on each other. I would always sit down and cry asking God why he refuse to make my dad a better person. My mum would always ask me to take my baby sister and her feeding bottle to our neighbor's place to play whenever she sees my dad Is about to start his fight, as to avoid being touched. My mum would always ask me to call out on our neighbors for help whenever she see the fight is getting worst but my dad who was such a terrible person would always ask them what their problem was whenever they come to help and whenever they try to call the police (cops) He would always lock the door from the inside and hold onto the keys without letting anyone in. He would always ask them to mind their business and when the cops finally comes he would always ask my mom to pretend like nothing happened because if not she will not like it when he comes out of jail. And these maltreatment kept on happening, He would beat her up every night and end up sleeping with her until it got to a point when my mom got pregnant again while she was still breast feeding her second child. This felt really awful and unthankful to her because she never wanted her third child to come out this way. She was really disappointed and was even more ashamed of herself and was still wondering how her husband would react to the news when he hears it. She would always cry and pray every night thinking about how her husband would take it when he finds out because her husband never wanted babies in fact he hate and despise them so much most especially a female child, when my father learnt I came out of my mother’s womb as a female, he felt really disappointed and displeased just like he had expected it. He hated and despise me a lot just the same way he hated my mother and my baby sister and now my mother is pregnant with another child, I know my father will never take it likely at all. Even my baby sister who was said to be a baby boy in my mummy's womb came out being a girl so why would my daddy believe her now even if the baby is going to be a boy or a girl, as time went on my mum was still keeping her little secret and she was getting weaker every day. It was time for her antenatal care already and still she haven't even registered. She was already 23weeks due and still my dad doesn't know about it yet. How can she afford her registration fee not even to talk of the money for her drugs. My mum got so confused and scared thinking about it. She knew she will never be able to keep the secret for long and she also will not be able to forgive herself if anything happens to the baby she’s carrying. She would always pray to God for him to touch the heart of her husband and also give her the courage to speak about the pregnancy to him, she kept on keeping it a secret not until one day her husband found out she was keeping a secret. He was on his way to work that day when he felt there was something different about her. She was looking different to him. He went ahead to have a close look at her and then said "Patience, I hope you are not pregnant again, because with the way you are looking, I hope it is not another pregnancy drama in this house” My mummy who was busy mobbing the floor quickly replied him "No" immediately while stammering and breathing heavily with tears rolling down her eyes at the same time she fainted.