Invisible Alpha

14

Emmi

Eric is holding me tight, kissing my neck and letting his finger trace up and down my thigh. I shiver with delight, his big arms fit around me perfectly, right here is where I feel happy and safe. His lips touch my ear lobe and then my neck. My body is tingling and I want more, I want him to never stop caressing me. Suddenly it's cold and there's wind coming from somewhere, I frown wanting the feeling of his warmth back. He whispers in my ear, "Wake up my beautiful ,creature there's a storm coming and you're not safe out here." Then he's gone and I shiver, this time because I'm freezing. I groan and open my eyes, aargh it was just a dream. He was never here. Sitting up, I'm still on the porch, the swing squeaks and I'm startled to find my mom sitting on the porch steps. "Oh, hey mom," she doesn't turn to look at me but I hear her say hi back. I look aroud and realise that it's almost dark, I must have fallen asleep and been out for 5 to 6 hours. "Wow, I sure slept the whole day." I yawn and look around for the two envelopes. His letter is gone, I start looking around and in my pockets but it's nowhere. I jump up and just then my mom says,"This what you looking for?" She's holding up his letter. Oh no. Why would she.... " Don't worry baby, I haven't read it but I wanted to ask you if I could?" She has a strange look on her face almost like she's angry. Well she already knows every detail, there's nothing in there that she doesn't know. "Yes, of course mom. Just a warning it's very mushy." She smiles and opens it up saying "Dinners in the microwave, I set your plate aside, the boys are at football, it was hell getting them to let you sleep." I grin, "Thanks mom, I wasn't feeling football tonight." Sitting behind her I wait until she's read the letter, I hear her sniff and see that she's wiping a tear from her cheek. "Oh, Em," she gets up and hugs me tight. "You're in a bit of a pickle, aren't you?" My mom has never inserted herself in any of our affairs, not even when we've asked her to give us opinions. She is a firm believer that kids learn from making their own mistakes, no matter their age. I thought maybe considering all that's happened she would give me at least some food for thought, but she seems to be holding onto her guns. Taking a deep breath I sit next to her. "Well, I've made the first step, I thought, the night I left him... them that my desicion was made." She rubs my knee, "I feel a 'but' coming up?" She knows me so well. "While I was there I was scared and missed all of you everyday, but I never felt sad or broken. The minute I got into that car my heart felt broken and my body weak. I haven't stopped missing him since. I'm just scared that his anger takes over and he keeps me in a room again," I hear her clear her throat. "W-what did he do to you in that room?" I've told her this already but say it again, "Nothing, he left me there day and night and most nights they tied me to the bed because he said he needed to be close to me, he slept next to me but never touched me. He was calm and mostly slept when he was with me. They needed to tie me to the bed because I tried to attack him and escape if they didn't. When I finally asked him to let me go he agreed, but the next day he was pushed off a mountain  and that's when he lost his memory." She frowns and scratches her head, " So just to get this straight, the first time you asked to be let out of the room was 3.5weeks ago? And he agreed? When he was in an evil state of mind?" Tilting my head to the side, "well no, I demanded to be let go several times just not to him, personally. After 9 weeks of being in there I'd had enough so when he came to sleep, we talked and he agreed that too much had happened,  with Seth and so on for it to ever be normal." The only sound she makes is "hmm." I'm confused, I feel like she doesn't believe me. But that's exactly what happened. "Mom, just tell me what's on your mind?" Half hoping she won't.  "Are you sure you want to hear it?" Hell yes I am. "Yeah, common spit it out," Taking my chin in her hand she moves my face toward her, "it seems to me you wanted to be there from the start, since the moment you saw him you felt this connection they kept telling you about, you were just, too stubborn to take note of those feelings. If he never hurt you or showed you any form of aggression even after you tried to attack him in his sleep, I do believe that you could have asked him to let you go, but you didn't and after he woke up from his wolf-healing-coma you accepted him on the first day he showed you his interest. You probably just couldn't wrap your head around how they were humans and wolves at the same time." "Mom you're not wrong, but he did kidnap me, it's a criminal offence.... and no one could find me, that's the point I always get stuck on." She looks pissed now, "So you look over the fact that he killed his brother but you draw the line at k********g you to make his moon whatever ?" "No mom, that's been laying heavy on my heart, too."

She closes her eyes and says "Emmi, my sweet girl I'm not going to pretend I know the dynamics of this pack thing, but the way you told me, I got the feeling that that's how they do things. What I also see is that you are heartbroken and it looks like your not going to forget him or them anytime soon. You're in for heart ache baby, in a big way. I think you have to consider forgiveness and a second chance." I'm absolutely stunned. My mother telling me to go for it? I'd expect her to tell me to run for the hills and never look back. "What have you been thinking about since you've been back?" She asks curiously. Well I can't tell her that I was thinking about all the s*x I was missing out on for running away and then feeling guilty about it. So I lie a little, "Well, I guess I've been thinking of ways I could justify being with a person that killed his brother and kept me captive in a room and feeling good about being with him." That was the full truth. She looks me in the eye and says, "I want you to take us and everyone out of the equation, what we think does not matter if you find that you can't be with him because those things bother you then you shouldn't be there but if it's got something to do with what all of us I think you're making the wrong choice, now I've said enough which ever your desicion, you'll always have us." And before I can respond she's back in the kitchen. Did my mom just throw me to the wolves? I hurry inside and eat my dinner feeling calm and sure for the first time in months. As I eat I take out my phone and see Luisa's missed call, I decide to text her and get his number. She sends it to me instantly.

After saving it I type out a text

>>Hi Eric, I've read your letter and I think we should talk. Face to face. There's a few things I have to say

X Emmi

My brothers arrive back drunk, rowdy and in high spirits, their team won and they won some money on bets they placed.My dad, who's usually the driver and 'protector' of all of them is drunk,too. I look out the window and see that they must have taken a taxi, my dad's car nowhere in sight.  They're singing and laughing. Gav the oldest puts his arms around me, "Emmi-em my m&m, We've missed you soooo muchh." His words are slurred and I smell beer on him. "My Gavi, I've missed you more!" He plants a wet kiss on my cheek and I shriek, "Gav! Ew, you smell like a brewery!" He smiles and kisses me again, this time on the other cheek. I squirm under his embrace and try to escape but he's, too strong. Taking this as a challenge he practically slobbers my face and I almost gag, "Slobberchops!" I yell and finally he lets me go. "Oh, Em. You've no idea how worried I was, we were all so worried. " He starts tearing up. "No, Gav, don't... don't cry they'll never let you hear the end of it." I point to the other three currently wrestling like wild beasts on the living room carpet, my dad happily playing referee and laughing his deep loud laugh. He nods, a serious look takes over his face and he slaps his cheeks. "I know, I know." He gets a distant look in his eyes,  "All of us cried while you were gone you know, Dad was the worst, one week he couldn't even get out of bed." I put my arm around him and pull him to me. Side by side we watch them wrestle "I'm so sorry for what you've all been put through." He only hugs me tighter. The others stop wrestling and I know that look, "oh,no,no,no, whatever you're thinking of doing stop think it right now!" I run to hide behind my dad who puts up his arms and says, "Now now lads let's all remember that she's only been back for a few days, starting a fight seems silly, doesn't it?" They look at each other shurg and fall on the sofa. Gav gets up, "Let's GO to that party we were invited to? I'm in the mood to celebrate?" They cheer and Gav checks his phone, I'm calling the taxi that dropped us. He shouldn't be, too far." He stops mid thought, "Em you have that fancy SUV just standing there you could take us? Maybe stay a little, let off some steam ?" I'd love to get out actually... "Not a bad idea but I hot wired that car so I don't feel comfortable driving around with it. How about you call the taxi and he takes us to your car, we can drive from there?" He smiles "Even better Emmi-bear" I roll my eyes, he hasn't called me that in a long time."You call, I'll go get ready". I take off the dress that I've been wearing and put on a tight pair of dark blue jeans with a white halter neck top that doesn't show too much cleavage. In the bathroom I splash water on my face and stick the top part of my hair into a bun with pins, leaving the lower part to hang in waves. I put on mascara and a draw on sliver eyeliner. The only earings I have are silver hoops so I pop them in. I fish out sliver sandals with several tiny straps going in all directions and look in my bag for my perfume. Looking at myself in the mirror I decide to have a good night and really try to forget everything. before I leave the room I check my phone, still nothing. I sent Eric that text almost 4 hours ago but he hasn't responded, it stings and I panick, what if he has blocked my number, if he's already in a different city what if.. "oh Emmi, look at you,  you look lovely, " my mom is standing at the door leaning against the wall. "Do you think it's wise to go out when you've got so much on your mind baby?" I look back at my phone but don't answer. " Oh, you've made a desicion then?" She looks hopeful. I've no idea what I've decided. "Well, not exactly, I've sent him a text saying I want us to meet. I want to see how I feel around him now that I'm not forced to be around him. Maybe I won't be as scared." She smiles slowly, "What did he say?" "He,hasnt replied yet." Her brows raise "Then go enjoy your evening  it sounds like you have a plan and be careful." It seems like she wants me to forgive Eric. I'm not sure why but just as she turns to leave I say, "Mom, just in case he... the place he kept me, well the 'pack grounds' it's behind the mountains, on the freeway and 25 minutes out on the dirt road, if I dissapear again you check there first, ok?" She closes her eyes and gives me a short nod, but she's still smiling. "Em, you coming or what?" I give her a short kiss and a hug and run out to the taxi, my brothers all in the back leaving the front seat open for me they are singing happily to the song that's playing on the radio. On the way I can't help noticing a black sports car following us, it could be cops or Eric. When we reach the football stadium they pile out of the taxi and into my dad's van but I stay and wait for the sports car to reach us. The windows are slightly tinted so I can't see who's inside. I open the van door stick in the key and turn on the radio, Gav throws his hand in the air ,"Come on, let's go." "I need a quick sec I'll back in 5 minutes." He groans but joins the others when they start to sing "aaand I would walk 500 miles.."  The sports car stops and I walk over tapping the driver window, the window opens slowly, "Johnny? What are you doing here?" He smiles sheepily "Hey Luna." He looks me up and down and smiles, "Where are you going looking like that, with all those guys?" What in the hell? What is he doing? "Johnny the better question would be what the hell are you doing here?" He loses his smile "Caught in the act huh?" I narrow my eyes, "So?" He drops his shoulders, "Alpha was worried about you since the talk with Luisa didn't go as he planned, he just wanted me to make sure that you are doing ok, Luna." He's put a tail on me?" Why does this even shock me, I should have known that he wouldn't just cut ties like that. But there's something else bothering me. I shake my head to show that I don't approve being followed and asked the question that I'm burning to know, "Johnny, is he uhm here, I mean at the pack house?" Johnny puts both hands over his face and groans. "Aargh,  I am not to answer any questions,Luna. I'm sorry, don't make it more unbearable than it already is for him, and us." I know where he's coming from. But I need to know so I press it still, "It's just I sent him a text, it's important and he hasn't replied, so I was wondering if that's because he might be somewhere where phones don't uhm work?" Johnny seems surprised, but closes his eyes, "Orders are orders,Luna you know that, I can't disobey even of if I wanted to." "Ofcourse Johnny, I understand, just uhm do me a favour? Tell him on your mindlink thingy that I'm waiting to hear from him?" I ask hopeful, "I'll get the message to him as soon as I can,ok? Now tell me what you're up to here ?" Smiling brightly I say, "We're going to a party, and those are my brothers, so relax, theres nothing to report". Johnny blows air through his lips, "Yeah, right with you looking like that I've got something to report alright." My eyes open wide an idea comes to mind "Well then tell him to come do his own dirty work, if he doesn't like me to go places and looking like this he should come do something about it, himself." Johnny rubs his temples. "I don't like being in the middle of all this one bit, this is not going to end well for me.." Shrugging I turn and head back to the car. Johnny tails us all the way to the party, luckily my brothers are all, too smashed already to notice. Once there he gets out of the car. My brothers practically run in screaming and cheering for the team that won. It's a big house with a pool and small bar area build next to it. Everything is sleek and shiny, very modern. The patio is tiled with dark grey tiles and a glass roof sits above it. Between the pool and the bar there's a round fire place with logs forming a big sitting circle around it. Fairy lights are on between plants and twirled around the patio roof pillars. A tall man that looks vaguely familiar stands at the bar, his eyes are inviting and he waves us over. I'm about to walk over there when someone pulls on my arm, I spin around and almost knock Johnny over, "Woah, Luna, I just wanted to ask you to think about not doing whatever it is you're about to do." What is he on? "Johnny, relax I'm not here to do anything, I just want to have a fun night out and to make sure my brothers don't get into trouble, since they are already hammered." He doesn't look convinced but before he can say anything I pull him toward the bar, "Come on, one beer won't hurt?" Tall guy smiles and embraces me warmly, "Emmi,hi," he says into my hair "So nice to see you, and we're so glad you were not harmed and back safely" I can feel Johnny growing over protective next to me and I hope he doesn't do anything stupid. I look back at tall guy, "Forgive me, but do we know each other?" He clutches his heart and very dramatically falls to his knees, "My lady , how could you forget your first kiss?" Giggling I help him back up, "Ron! Wow you've changed! I haven't seen you since middle school, you clean up well!" He takes my hand and twirls me around, "You have always been a stunner but look at you now, gorgeous." His gaze goes up and down my body, pausing at my breasts upsetting Johnny next to me. "Stop," I say playfully and turn to Johnny, "Ron, this is Johnny my friend," He holds out a hand and Johnny shakes it reluctantly "Hello, nice to meet you Ron." "Right, let's get drinks, shall we?" Ron bows and says "After you my lady." Johnny is not amused but follows along anyway. Ron stands behind the little bar and gives me a list of cocktails to choose from. While I read through it he gets Johnny a beer, "You strike me as a beer guy?" He nods and takes the beer, "Thanks." I turn to Ron, "So you live here?" "I sure do, moved in a year ago after we got done with renovations." "Well, you did a marvellous job, I love it!" He smiles, "So do I, now what can I get you?" Suddenly I'm in a good mood, I look over the list with cocktails again and grin,"s*x on the beach, please." Johnny almost spits out his beer and I can see how pissed he is, Ron on the other hand takes no notice, "Coming up my lady." As he mixed my drink Johnny sits down on the logs infront of the small fire and stares into the flames. I ask Ron a few questions and we get to talking. He tells me about how he bought the house with his fiance but she left him a few months ago and how he struggles to enjoy living here so he's always having parties. He met my brothers at the local pub one night and now they're friends. He helped in the search for me and paid an investigator to help track me down. He is very charming, I  find myself being relaxed in his presence, I laugh easily and I notice Johnny look up everytime I do. It seems that he's having a conversation with himself, but I know it must be the that's he's talking to someone. My brothers run out of the house all half naked aiming for the pool, I turn to Ron, "Just to be sure, you chose these animals as friends?" Gav hears me and stops mid run, "What was that little sis?" Oh no..of all my brothers Gav has always been the one that picks on me most but I also have the best relationship with him. He treats me like one of the boys, just not as rough. He starts walking towards me and I squeal knowing that this couldn't mean anything good. He grabs me before I can react and throws me over his shoulder,  walking toward the pool. I start throwing things I want to be saved toward Johnny, my bag with my phone, earings and I drop my sandals from my feet mid air. He holds me over the water and asks "Did you call your own flesh and blood "animals" ?"  There's no way out of this so I decide to push his buttons a bit, "Oh I'm sorry Gav, I forgot to say barbaric animals!" He burst out laughing, "You are going to pay for that, little sis," he moves me over the water further but something in his eyes change and he puts me down, to my utter surprise. I stand next to him and look up at his sad eyes ,"Hey are you going soft on me big bro?" He smiles and says "Sorry, I promised dad I'd take real good care of you and I guess this would piss him off?" "Oh what a teddy bear you ar...." Ron comes from behind and pushes both of us into the pool. I fall face first and all I can think is mascra, it's going go run! The water is warmer than I thought and as I come up for air I see Johnny standing at the side of the pool already looking down at me worryingly, I give him a wink,"All good Johnny, all good." I give Ron who is staring at my breasts a look, "Well is this how you treat all your guests? I swim to the side and hold out my hand, "drink  please," He runs off and comes back with my cocktail swiftly. Gav takes off his pants and shirt and throws them at Ron, "Hang em to dry will ya?" Ron nods and I look down at my attire mmh white top , white strapless bra jeans and jockey underwear. The only thing I can take off are my jeans, so I do the same and throw them in Ron's direction, too,"While you're at it hang mine, too." He turns in his step and stares at me, "What?", I ask. "I can check if there are some swimsuits upstairs ?" I look down at my now see-through top and grey jokey underwear, "Yeah, that would be great." Johnny is still standing akwardly on the side of the pool. Well I'm not going to let him spoil my night. I take my cocktail and down it. Ron appears around the corner empty handed. "She took all her bathing suits." "No biggy Ron I'll just have to borrow a shirt from you when I get out. He fills up my glass and before I know it I'm a little more than tipsy joking in the pool with my brothers. Ron turns up the music and before I know it there are lots of other people in the pool,too. Ron gets in, brings me yet another drink. His thigh touches mine and he gives me a look. Oh no. Suddenly I realise that I'm half naked in a pool with him and I've practically been flirting with him all night. I steal a glance at Johnny who is sitting arms crossed staring straight at me. I need to get out of the pool, away from Ron. I mouth to Johnny "a towel please?" He looks releaved and gets up to get one from the towel rack. Just then Ron comes up from behind me and puts his arms around my waist he whispers in my ear, "Wanna join me inside, beautiful?" I see Johnny go stiff and clutch his fists. Bad. This is bad. Wriggling out of his arms I try to be polite, "Sorry Ron, I'm not that type of girl," and I give him a wink. I get out covering my breasts and walk towards Johnny who has a very scornful look on his face, I grab the towel and shout to Ron, "Hey, can I get a shirt ?" He has a devilish smile on his face, "Oh no, sorry you're going to have to dry by the fire, sweetie," Asshole, probably because I didn't accept his advances. Grabbing my jeans and Gav's clothes I head inside looking for the laundry room. The house is beautiful and modern, but a tad, too cold for me. I like it more 'homey' the laundry is a side room attached to the kitchen. It faces the pool, and if I stand on tip toes I can look out the little window and look out, I see Johnny pacing up and down. He looks very stressed out compared to all the other drunk guests. I take off the rest of my clothes, wring them out over the sink and stick our clothes in the dryer. Wrapping the towel extra tight around me under my arms I walk to look for the bathroom. In the bathroom mirror I decide that I don't look half bad, my hair is already drying in waves again and the mascara had vanished leaving the silver eyeliner. I'm drunk but it's a happy drunk. Heading back to the fire place I see Johnny looking very anxious now. "Johnny relax, let's have a beer," He clenches his jaw and closes his eyes, "Please, please tell me you are not naked under that towel,Luna." I'm not sure where he's going with this, I lean in so that no one can hear, "Sure am, I have to dry all my clothes, it's in the dryer." He rolls his eyes,takes off his shirt and hands it to me, "Please do us all a favor and put this on." I'm staring at his six pack, he is almost as well build as Eric, and so tanned. A few girls from the pool start whistling at him catching his attention. "Why don't you go have some fun, Johnny? I'll put on your shirt and sit here like a good girl." He looks at the girls in the pool again and groans,"I'd actually love to, but he'll have my head. Now put on the shirt please." After slipping it over my head I get myself a beer and sit down next to him making sure everything is covered. Ron keeps looking my way some times winking but I ignore him. I decide to check my phone and get excited when I see 2 new messages. I open it feeling like a teenager again. His first message reads:

>> No.

My heart sinks, why wouldn't he want to even talk to me. He has given up. I open the second message also from him

>> Please don't make it hard for Johnny he is just following my strict orders. It's only for a couple of days.

Well f**k. Then that's that, he doesn't want to even persue a chance of there being an us. I down my beer and Johnny's eyes stretch wide. "UHM, Luna?" I wave my phone infront of him.  "He doesn't want me, Johnny, so you can stop calling me that." My words are slurred and probably make no sense, suddenly I feel more than tipsy.  He looks confused, "Are you talking about Alpha Eric, Luna?" He asks carefully. Squinting my eyes to look at my screen I shove it in his face saying, "Look, look, I wanted to talk to him, but noooooo, that's what he said one little word N-O. Nooooooo." I get up and almost stumble,  Johnny behind me in an instant whispering, "Luna, you're naked under the towel, please remember that." "Pffft, who cares?" I say it to make him angry, taking out my anger on the wrong person. He smiles at me gently, "Now now Luna, don't be childish, maybe what you need is a cup of coffee? Come on, let's go try out the fancy coffee mashine Ron has in his kitchen?" I'll give him points for not getting angry and annoyed with how I'm acting right now. "Do you know what Johnny, I think I'll have a shot, care for one?" He jumps between me and the bar, "You've already done things that you'll probably regret,Luna, let's not add to that list?" "Yoou know what Johnny, John? IIII think of all the people here I deserve to finally have a little fun, let me regret it. Lemme." I stagger to the bar and find a bottle of tequilla. I plop on the counter and shout over to the pool, "WHooose game ? " Gav puts up his hand... "Hey aren't you supposed to be driving us home?" He gives me another look, "Looks like you're already drunk?" "Correcto brobro." "Great, Em, how are we supposed to get home this time of night?" At this very moment I'm so sick of the men in my life. I give him a look and shrug. Opening the bottle I take a huge gulp then almost vomit from the bitter,vulgar taste. "Aaargh , wow that has a kick to it!" Johnny has his hands on his hips he looks super pissed right right now, behind him people are having a great time I try to drown him out and stay in my good mood. But he is very angry and won't let it go. "Ok, that was the last drink you'll be having tonight, this is not the way to deal with all this." "Do you know what Johnny,

there is no more all of this. I-I-III showed you. It went like this, I left, he sent Luisa with a letter, I reacted with a text telling him before s**t gets real we need to talk and do-ya know what he said ? No. He said no. He doesn't want to talk to me so WHAT am I supposed to do, huh? You know what, " Johnny holds his hands up "Luna, please every time you say that, you tell me something I DO NoT want to know." "Saaay what?" He's annoyed now. Hands on his hips again. "Never mind." I blink, "Do you know what? I think he doesn't want me, he never did. That's why he did all that, that's why I had no effect on him," I put my finger to my head, "think about it, after all that mate stuff you guys were telling me about, it should of made him softer, but it didn't. I just locked me in a little room and ignored me. Aaaand what do I do when he wakes up? I let him shag me like there's no tomorrow." Johnny's face is red now and he can't look at me. Words just keep on falling out of my mouth, alcohol has taken over, I'm not in control any more. "Do you know what ? He probably just needed a shag and I , I fell for it." Before I can stop it tears well up and start running down my cheeks. Johnny looks panicked. "Come on let's go into the bathroom." He ushers me toward the bathroom and closes the door behind him. "Luna, I'm in the middle of an impossible situation. I know you're drunk but please stop telling me the details about all of it. It's better if it stays between the two of you." Suddenly I feel guilty, I cry even more. "No,no I didn't mean to make you sad, shit." Through sniffing and my tears I look up at him hopelessly, "It's just the booze, Johnny, sorry. I'll get over it, right? Luisa said humans don't feel it like wolves do, right?" He sighs,"I'm the wrong person to ask, I'm going to give you a minute to gather yourself and then we'll go see if your clothes are dry, and I'll bring you home, ok." I feel disappointed in him, why doesn't he want to talk to me? "Yeah, um I'm not going anywhere. You can gladly leave. I'll check on my clothes and sort myself out." I push him back, "Please leave me, I need the loo." He goes out and leaves me. Ok pep talk screw those wolf people, you've lived a life without them and you will continue to live a happy one after them. Looking in the mirror I take my fingers through my hair splash some water on my face. Maybe a glass of juice isn't a bad idea right now. After 10 minutes of picking myself up I leave the bathroom and see that I'm not the only drunk person there. Getting some juice I notice Johnny paying attention to my every move. I grab my bag and go straight to the laundry room. The timer says 5 more minutes. I decide I'll wait. I look out the little window and see Johnny standing there very akwardly speaking to two girls wearing barely there bikinis. "There might be hope yet I say." My brothers are talking to some girls, still in the pool and Ron is sitting in the shallow end with a girl on him, it looks like they might start shagging right there. "Gross!" I say loudly and take sip of my orange juice. Like a true drunk teenager I check my phone for any messages from you know who. Nothing. This might be harder then I thought, I genuinely have been missing him. Closing my eyes I whisper, "I wish you were here, holding me," and like I performed a magic trick two arms grab me from behind, tightly pressing me to his chest, I know these arms, I know this chest. "Eric!"