Her Only Dream

Chapter Five

***Kat's POV***

    Jake was watching me with a smile still on his face, while I sat there stunned, a poke in the side waking me up from my daze.  I still wasn't sure I'd really heard him right in regards to this.

    "Why would you want a date with me, don't you have a-" I stopped myself blushing. "I mean, you don't know that much about me, and just to be honest with you, I'm a single mom, and my daughter is pretty young."  I looked down at my hands figuring I'd just blown everything, I knew what people thought of single mothers, and while it hurt, I'd never trade my daughter for anything in the world.

    "Well, as to why, you are gorgeous, smart and funny, I'm not sure what I am supposed to have or not have there, but I love kids so that doesn't bother me at all."  I felt him lift my chin, normally I'd have run from someone touching me this much, but the feeling soothed something in me.  He continued to raise my head till I was looking him in the eyes and I felt something settle in place for me, and it terrified me.  "I wasn't sure if you were single or not before, and I didn't know how to ask without sounding like a creep.  We can go somewhere public first, see how things go?"

    "Sure, if you are positive you don't mind, I go out with some friends on Friday nights to watch them sing."  I'm still pretty sure this is a dream, I don't know how this could be happening otherwise, or maybe I just finally went crazy, that's an option too.

    "I'll look forward to it then, but I hope you'll still keep talking with me until then, I'd really like to spend some time with you."  Jake's voice was almost bouncing with energy and his face had lit up like he had won a lottery or something special, but he made me smile just from the look of excitement he had.  He looked up at the clock, an annoyed look crossing his face for a moment be for he looked at me and smiled again.  "I've gotta go now, but maybe you'll be online to talk more later?"

    "Uhm...yeah...I'll be online later."  What is it about his smile that can literally melt my brain into mush, I may not be overly loud or talkative, but I did pride myself on having a decent brain, at least until he smiles at me, then it just shuts off completely it seems like.  He walked out the door, still bouncing along, and Nessa suddenly appeared out of no where beside me.

    "Weeeell....looks like we know who he has been coming here for."  She sings to herself and bounces on her toes as she stands there looking at me.

    "You heard all that!  Where have you been anyways!"

    "Oh most of it I heard, but at least we know that he's interested in you."

    "Nessa, don't say that, please."  I looked down again, hearing the voices again that told me I was never good enough, even Lily's father had told me that I looked so much better with a bunch of make-up on that I rarely would wear any now, some of my friends would fight with me to get me to do anything more than occasional eye shadow and lipstick.  I had a fear that if they liked that me, that they could never like the real me.  "It might not be what you think, it could just be an opening to set up a friend or something." 

    "Kat, he called you gorgeous, and said he'd been trying to find out if you were single or not.  That says something."

    I shook my head, afraid to get my hopes up too much, I was still a little freaked out about how right it felt looking in his eyes, and how nice his hand had felt, I couldn't let myself get too attached, because sooner or later they all walk away.  I'd grown up moving around, my father career Navy, and then I had travelled some too before Lily, and that was the truth I had learned, was never let them get too close, they always leave, and that I was just very easy to replace.

    "He was just being nice Nessa, probably just wanted to boost my spirits after finding out that I was single.  He's nice to everyone that works here, that's just how he is."  With that I started to head off to my last break of the day, but not before I heard Nessa muttering something about how I needed to stop lying to myself.

    The rest of the day passed in a bit of a blur, and I had to admit that I was excited to be heading home with Lily while she talked about her day.  We went about our usual routine though for getting dinner ready, and tonight spent some time cuddling while watching a movie, which was rare for her as she was normally on the go from the time she got up until sleep snuck up and pounced on her, as it had tonight.  I looked down at her fast asleep, her head on my lap, knowing that before too long, she would be too big for those cuddles anymore.

    As gently as I could, I picked her up, carrying her down to her room, thankful I'd had the foresight to get her changed tonight while she was still awake, before going to my room to check for any messages.  I could admit, I'd been avoiding my computer, I was certain that Nessa was wrong, and that I'd get a message canceling or mentioning  a friend that he wanted to come out too, anything that would prove that I was right, not that I wanted to be for once, but I just couldn't believe that the little brown mouse would be noticed when there were so many other beautiful ladies that I worked with.

    Signing into my account, I saw the alerts right away and braced myself, reminding myself it would be alright either way.  

    :Guess I must have missed you tonight, since I didn't see you online.  I'm really looking forward to Friday,  and seeing you outside of work.: