My Widowed Mate

Break down

Trixies POV

I wanted to scream. I haven't even gone to work yet, and I was having an awful day. My wedding photo broke, and now I can't find the damn electricity bill, plus the coming-going feeling of being watched. I looked through the mail again, trying to find the bill. I was sure I left it in the pile on the floor. I planned on paying for some of it before work to hopefully avoid it being shut off.

I threw my hands in the air and yelled, "f**k it." If it gets shut off, I'll just live in the dark then. Thanks world. I grabbed my things and left the house, making sure I locked it.

As I was driving, my music was interrupted by a phone call. I glared at the screen on my dashboard, seeing the name MOM on the screen followed by her phone number. I rolled my eyes as I hit the answer button.

"Hey mom," I said with a sigh.

"Trixie, I was just calling to see how you're doing. I remember you said you went back yesterday," my mother said through my car speakers.

I shrugged as if she could see me. "It was fine I guess, just taking it day by day." I wasn't going to give too many details about how it went. It was just a weird day. Not wanting to explain my weird feelings and that guy who vanished in front of me. She would just over worry.

"The church and I are praying for you," she said. "I really think you should go on Sunday." My mother was always a very Christian woman. It's how she was raised. Though I never got an explanation as to how I was conceived even though she was never married. She would always change the subject or walk away.

Receiving another eye roll from me, "Why do you want me to go so badly, mom?" I asked, a bit annoyed at how she's been pressuring me to go lately. The Christian stuff never stuck with me. It just never felt like Christianity wasn't a right fit for me.

She sighed at my annoyance "because God is probably trying to get you to come back to church. You should listen to his signs."

Her words pushed me to my boiling point. "I have to go, mom, love you," I said before jamming the end call button. I was angry. God's making bad things happen to me so I can come back to church? That wouldn't work for me. Want to make me come back? Give me a damn miracle and let my husband come back.

Those thoughts caused me to burst out in tears. I began sobbing so hard that my tears were blinding me. I quickly pulled over before I killed someone else. I laid my head back on the head rest and sobbed. My face was soaked in tears as I was hyperventilating. I hit my stirring wheel in a flash of anger, making it let out a tiny honk. The car was now hot, causing me to sweat. I took a couple of deep breaths and slightly rolled down the window to let some breeze in.

Hot tears were still streaming down my face slowly as I sat there breathing. I looked at the clock, knowing I was going to be late. But I still didn't move to drive. Who really cares if I show up? I could just sit here and rot in this car. My thoughts turned off, and I sat there just listening to the cars pass me. Feeling the car sway back and forth from the rush of wind the other cars made.

Eventually, I found my strength again as I wiped my tear-soaked face with my hands. I sat up straight again and put the car in driving. Almost as if I were a robot, I found myself driving to work and eventually made it there. I was late, but at least I was there.

Once at work, I hid in the office to hide my red puffy face from the employees. My thoughts were still off, and I felt empty inside. I began silently concentrating on the dress I had to fix since yesterday. I felt like a zombie as I worked and went through the day. Luckily, no one needed me right away in the morning.

I looked at the clock to see it was now 3 o clock. It's almost time to close this joint. There was a knock on my door, I gave a small "Come in" and turned as Jessie opened the door. She gave me a small smile as she entered.

"Hey girl, I know you're busy, just the delivery needs your signature, "she said, looking at me a bit concerned.

I nodded and stood up, straightening out my clothes first. Jessie held out a hand before I could leave my office.

"Wait," She said

I gave her a strange look, but before I could ask, she disappeared into the bathroom behind her. She came back out with a wet paper towel.

"Just hold this against your eyes for a minute. It'll help some of the puffiness," she said, handing me the wet paper towel. I smiled at her, thanking her and did what she said. The cold water felt nice against my face. She was right. A bridal shop should be happy. Not sad and depressing, where the manager looked like she was obviously crying.

It felt better after a minute and wasn't fully better but better. Then, we left the office to an impatient delivery driver waiting for my signature. But he could go suck a big fat one for all I cared. I took his clipboard and inspected the items he brought just to piss him off more before signing. I handed him the clipboard before sweetly wishing him a nice day, giving him a smug smile.

As I watched him leave, I noticed a man standing outside the store. My mouth fell open a bit as I saw the man from yesterday. His eyes locked in on mine, sending a shiver down my spine. Then, once again, in a blink, he was gone again.

Oh f**k, I really was going crazy.