Eyes don't lie

Kik and her introduction My name is Kik I live in a family that is poor so I work and do my student life even though I'm 13 and and I like writing and reading but I don't have time for that anymore since I have homeworks and I leave you to the story now bye ___________________________________________ Mommy I can't do even that it was a rainy day and fog above all I was walking with my umbrella breathing heavily until my mom suddenly call me and say -"Oh darling come at home don't go to school! we have an important thing to say to you"- I was surprised so I rush at home when I come to home my mommy was there with a smirk looking at me as I come home and she says -"well you don't have to go to school anymore, you can just work"- I was shocked but also irritated with her affirmation and decision so I just reply -" No mommy! I want to learn huh! I want to be successful!"- my mom she is mortified by my comment but she composes herself and responds -"but..but we don't have money to pay for your school.."- I look at her understanding then I just smile at her and go to my room after my mom goes to work I cry on my bed with my pillow crying desperately... ___________________________________________ Leave me... After that day I start working tiredly non-stop but a day my boyfriend comes to me and said -" Hey babe why are you not coming to school,I miss you and-"- I interrupt him angrily and irritated by him -" shut up! just leave me alone!"- he looks a bit surprised but tries again to talk to me saying -"babe I know how are you feeling but,I wanted just to understand you and- "- I interrupt him another type clearly more angry and frustrated -"shut up! just leave me! I hate you with all my heart just go away,I break up with you!,you are useless of no value!,just leave me alone!"- he looks shocked by my words and just sighs looking down and says -"so you are just leaving me now for nothing?..if that's what you want then I leave"- he goes away breathing heavily,sad.I feel malinconic and guilty for what I did feeling the remorse that is eating away at my heart for leaving the only person who was trying to help me.... now I'm alone ___________________________________________ Loneliness After some days I feel lonely with no one to talk to,my life wasted so I just buy some alcohol and start to drink a lot getting drunk but nothing settled down it was worst! I feeled more guilty for drinking something that at my young age I shouldn't do it even though I'm 19 so I just feel lonely..lonely and wasted in a darker darkness than anything else.Is always the same day,working,eating,having a bath,brushing my teeth and getting bored just wishing to have a better life ___________________________________________ My family dies After some months my family dies by a car incident where all the members of my family dies while they were driving to go back home I was devasted and sad crying tiresly non-stop in my little home.I had lost everything in just a short time since I no longer live my regular life, everything sucks -I don't go anymore to school -I don't have anymore a boyfriend -I become lonely -My family dies.. ___________________________________________ I lose my job becoming poor and finding a poor job just to have some money After everything my manager a random day just he fires me because he assumes I wasn't doing my job well and was doing it half-heartedly and I beg and plead with him not to fire me because that was all I had but the menager just doesn't care and fires me I was devasted and frustrated and find another work but that give sme poor money: the writer of some books. I was desperated beacuse I didn't have money for the house rent but hardly I find some money to pay the rent ___________________________________________ MY FALL IN DEPRESSION After all the tragedy that happened I was mentally ill that I wanted to suicide or just don't want to live beacuse I found it with no more reason to do it...it was all stressful everyday,every second,every minute,every thousand second it was stressful to live all with problems nobody to talk to so I fall into depression and started having dead eyes,drinking alcohol,eating junk food,and not founding nothing anymore fun it was all useless for me to describe or even to go out, I was destroyed inside I almost felt like I really needed a psychologist but I refused to think about it since I didn't want to be seen in my horrible condition.I wasn't I was good at nothing and had no chance of becoming anyone successful in the future or at least having a good time since I had lost everything and the thought of starting over made my stomach knot I didn't even want to think about it beacuse I knew that it could just finish like now,I wanted to die! in fact I found all the ways to die but nothing worked and I never even wanted to go out! even tough it was healthy for someone like me who was in depression.Now I knew very well what a depressed person felt especially just to the fact of restarting,It can't even be described in words only the way I felt...I was malinconic and never been happy since I lost all my beautiful and also a little difficult life because now it has become really difficult especially going out!.Being depressed is like being trapped in a bubble of thorns where there is no exit and if you try to get out you can't because if you don't you die and it's a metaphorical version of reality but the reality is that if you fall into depression yes you can get out with hard work but the thorns that are in the bubble are only the fear of starting life all over again and life is cruel and you have to face it like on a razor's edge but those who fall from that razor's edge almost never return and it's difficult but it was worth it to get back up and continue life on a razor's edge because otherwise you would have fallen down deeply to the point of dying by one's own will and once you get there you can't escape and this is the sad truth of the life of a depressed person