Magic Without a Fairy Godmother

Steam wisped around the bathroom, fogging up the mirror and window. Carnellie Vale stood under the hot stream of water, suds of soap and shampoo running over her skin, staring blankly at her feet as the water pooled down the drain. A part of her wanted to shut off the hot flow of water and curl back under her covers. Forget this foolish idea. But the stronger part of her, the part her sister and mom and therapist worked so hard over the summer to build back up, shut off the water, stepped out of the shower, and began the mundane task of getting ready for the first day of school. She went the mirror, wiped off the fog, and stared at her reflection. Green eyes stared back at her. Their usual sparkle was gone, hiding behind a veil of emptiness. Carnellie ran her hands across her cheeks. She was thinner than last year, wasted and tired from nightmares and the inability to keep her food down. Don't think about it, she thought. Your senior year is just about to start. Summer doesn't have to ruin it for you. Straightening her spine she said aloud, "This will not hold me back. I am stronger than what tries to knock me down. I will not stay on my knees." The mantra her therapist had her say before and after sessions. Filled with new resolve she went back to her room and searched for something to wear. She flipped through the designer shirts, jeans, skirts, and other items that Missy and her crew had helped her pick out over the past three years. Reaching into the masses of clothes she pulled out a plain white tank with a light pink plaid tie-up shirt. She pulled on a pair of blue jeans and stepped into a pair of white flip flops. Going back into the bathroom she pulled her hair into a ponytail. It was already beginning to form its natural curls as it dried. Carnellie studied her face for a moment. Her therapist's voice floated into head; "'Don't let shame drag you down. You are a beautiful girl. Show the world who you are.'" Sighing she ran mascara over eyes, applied light eye shadow, and plain black liner. Enough to dress herself up, but nothing that would make her stand out in a crowd. Satisfied, she gathered her cellphone, backpack, wallet, and car keys, and then headed down the stairs. Following the smell of cooking breakfast and the upbeat sound of Cher over speakers, she headed to the kitchen. There she found her sister Judith flipping pancakes as she swung her hips to the beat, belting out "Emotional Fire" at the top of her lungs. Carnellie could not help the smile that pulled up her lips. Judith had worked so hard over the long summer to keep her from burning after her crash. Together with her mom, the college student had built her sister back up from the pile of shattered heart and soul she had been. But she was still fragile glass, now covered in hairline fractures that could snap with the smallest pressure. She went over the kitchen table and sat down, resting her backpack on the floor. Judith looked over her shoulder at her sister and smiled broadly at her. "There you are sugar face. I hope you feel like breakfast because I made enough to feed an elephant." "That just means you then, because I'm going to settle for one pancake with a side of bacon." Judy frowned at the pancake she was currently making, then at the hefty stacks on plates next to her. "Who the heck is going to eat all this?" she asked. Carnellie shrugged as she hopped up and got herself a plate of food, not risking the chance of pancake overload. "Well, college hasn't started yet so maybe you can get your crew down here to help. Or just Jason. He eats like an elephant." Judy tapped her chin with the spatula, contemplating. "You know, you're right. We can get a head start on our studying too." She turned off the stove, flipped the pancake onto the smallest stack, then sashayed her way over to the phone as Carnellie popped a piece of bacon in her mouth and plopped back down in her chair. Carnellie set up her pancake, smoothing butter over its golden brown surface. She followed up with powdered sugar. Her cellphone vibrated as she shoved a forkful of warm freshly cooked batter into her mouth. Hastily chewing the bite, she swallowed before sliding her thumb against the touchscreen to unlock and answer the call. Judy paused in her friend phone dialing, waiting to see who was calling her sister. Over the summer, not one of Carnellie's friends had called her to ask how she was doing. Instead, she'd been abandoned, left to drown in the deep end of the pool. "Hi mom," Carnellie said. Judy sighed and continued to call her friend. She kept one ear on the conversation. "Yes, yes I'm following through with my decision. Yes, I'm driving myself. Judy needs a break; she can't take care of me all the time. It'll look just as bad if she went with me. I plan on getting there before the rest of the student body shows up. No. Yes. Yes. No. Understood. I probably won't run into him today anyway, it's a big campus and we won't have the same schedule. I got a call from the school. They know we're not supposed to be around each other if at all possible, but they don't know the details." She took a swig of milk, took a few more bites of breakfast while she listened to her mom. "I'm finishing breakfast now. Not much, enough to keep me till lunch. Of course, Judy packed me one. I'll buy some snacks at the school if I'm hungry. Yes, mom. I will. I love you too. Thanks for checking on me. Have a good day at work. Oh hey, tell Lenard that if he's going to woo you, at least get some decent smelling flowers. Ha-ha yeah, he sent you some yesterday." Judith smiled as softy as the conversation took to better ground. She hung up with her best friend, and then called her boyfriend. He heartily agreed to the idea of a big breakfast. "And here I was wondering what I was going to eat," he said with a booming laugh. "You're timing is impeccable." "We're going to study too, so bring some textbooks," Judith said, moving over to the fridge and pulling out her sister's lunch. "What? School hasn't even started yet," Jason exclaimed. "I know, but it wouldn't hurt to get an idea of the material. You're taking Accounting, and you know how bad you are at math. Let's work over some of the basics before your professor destroys you on the very first day. Love you too, baby. I'll see you in a bit." The sisters hung up their phones together. Carnellie finished her breakfast, bantering with her sister over the classes they were going to be taking, who their were going to be, debating whether or not they would join any sports teams this year. Glancing at her watch Carnellie excused herself from the table. Judith picked up her plate and glass and proceeded to clean them while her sister got her lunch, picked up her backpack, then headed out the door with a wave goodbye. Judith watched from the living room window as the high school Senior closed her car door, revved up the engine, and pulled out of the driveway to school for her final year. She waved her sister good-bye until she was out of sight. Concerned she ran back into the house, picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Connor, it's Judith. Can you do me a favor?" The brunette parked her car near the end of the partially empty lot, away from where she knew Missy would be parking. A bubble of nervous tension grew in her stomach. Again she fought back the dark feeling that had been building and crawling up her spine. On the drive, stopped at a red light, she had caught Dillion, who was now a junior, and his girlfriend Jessie staring at her. She had given them a smile and a wave. Jessie's response was to raise her eyebrows, while Dillion sent her a leer. Already word was out, but it wasn't the word she knew was the truth. Now she sat in her car, hands gripping the wheel as she swallowed down her fears. It was unlikely that Missy had forgotten. Shallow as the other girl was she had a good memory. She breathed deep, let it out, and then climbed out of her car. She'd made it just in time: aside from the cars of the ASB students who were currently in a meeting in the library, Carnellie was alone as she made her way across the lot to her first classroom. Her English teacher let her in without comment, letting her pick a seat in the far back corner of the room, away from the door and the students who would be bustling in. She pulled out her sketchbook and doodled away the minutes. The school came to life as time passed; she could hear the laughter and chatter of her fellow schoolmates as they idled by classrooms or on lunch benches, or walked pass her classroom to the bathrooms and the cafeteria. By the time the bell rang for classes to begin, her nerves were smoothed out and she felt she could face the beginning of the day. English passed with minor incident; the worst that happened were a few dirty looks, heads that turned to whisper, 'oh-my-God-no-way' faces as gossip was spread. Roll was called, papers on what they would be covering were passed out, rules were discussed, an assignment that all papers letting the teacher know that parents also knew and understood the rules be signed and returned by next class period given. A half hour of free time, and her two hours of free time were over. Six more to go. The stares and whispers followed her down the halls and in the classrooms. She only saw Missy in bits and pieces: a snarl as she walked passed, a glare across the campus. By the time third period rolled around she was exhausted from trying to act like she didn't notice. Rather than standing around looking for something to do or someone to talk to Carnellie headed straight for AP Biology. The only other person in there besides the teacher was a boy, his head on the desk, apparently fast asleep. Carnellie scooted past him to her chair, putting her books down and sitting at her desk. She put her head in her hands. A few minutes later she felt a gentle touch on her shoulder. Looking up she saw the tender face of Mr. Rothsbro. He was one of the youngest male teachers at the school. His hair was a light blonde, cut short. He wore rectangle wire framed glasses over his light blue eyes. He was lean and muscular, which added to his popularity amongst the girl students last year. But he showed no signs of interest in them, and Carnellie knew for a fact he was happily dating a young female English teacher at the elementary school. "Carnellie is something wrong?" he spoke softly. Carnellie gave her teacher a weak smile. "I'm fine, just tired." It would not do to bother this nice man with her trivial teenage drama. He frowned, not believing her at all. "If you have anything you wish to say, please know that I am here not just as a teacher but as a friend." He straightened and went back to his desk. He studied her as she looked down at her desk, watching her eyes fill with sadness and a secret pain. His eyes flicked to the boy who lay with his head on his desk, seemingly oblivious. When the bell rang he watched the class file in. Fighting back the urge to puke he nodded at the girls who said hi to him in tones that said they wanted to say hi in an entirely different way, only responding back to the ones who said hello with nothing more to the word then its simplicity. When all the students were in their seats he stood and walked to stand in front of the white-board. "Good morning class, and yes Mr. Brinkley it is still morning as it is not noon yet, and welcome to Advanced Placement Biology. You are in this class for the specific reason that you like the science and want to learn more about it. I get any other vibes and you will be gone from my class; just ask my students from last year who did not focus on the learning material. I will not put up with any nonsense in my class. You are all eighteen, or if you're not you soon will be. It's time you all start acting your age." He began to pass out papers with the class schedule. "You will refer to me as Mr. Rothsbro. This will be the work scheduled throughout the school year. For those of you who actually read, and you will all read this, you may notice that it looks like a review of your sophomore curriculum. And that's because it is, we just go into more detail." Rothsbro stared at his students. Even the flirty girls were serious at the moment. "My classroom rules are as follows; there will be absolutely no talking when doing worksheets, and most definitely not when I am talking. Any such nonsense will be snuffed out before it has time to breathe. Same goes for anyone pulling out a cell phone or an iPod without permission. I see them and they are mine till the end of the school year. And yes, Miss Delcroe, I am dead serious. You can go ahead and complain to your parents but then you will just prove all the more how childish you are. Hands will be raised to answer a question unless I call on you because you are not paying attention Mr. Burnes. Work will be completed and turned in on time. Any late work will be docked five points every school day it is late. If textbooks are damaged you will pay the price, the full price, for it. No excuses. Lateness will be rewarded with one tardy followed by detentions and finally an expulsion from my class. We are in serious business now seniors." Going over to his desk he picked up a paper with names written on it side by side; who would be lab partners. "I am now going to assign you lab partners. They will be your partner for the entire school year, so you are going to have to learn to live with them." He looked down at his list. "Delcroe with Holsom. Birkley with Macon. Rosemin with Reed. Fulsom with Carlson. Swanns with Harper. Vale with Daniels. Scooter with Garcia. Nicksen with Kirkley. Burnes with Perkins. Adams with Carter. Now go. I expect you to move quickly you've been with the same people for four years you ought to know who they are." There was a brief flurry of noise as the small class rose and scurried to their partners. Rosemin and Reed exchanged high-fives. Delcroe eyed Holsom with what could be called tolerable distaste. Macon and Birkley pumped hands like they were meeting for the first time; they were best friends. Fulsom and Carlson gave each other a studious look. Swanns plopped herself down next to Harper without a word or a glance, obviously displeased. Nicksen rolled his eyes and Kirkley smacked his arm lightly with a smile on her face; they were dating. Burnes and Perkins glared at each other. Adams and Carter sat down and began a quiet conversation. Carnellie weaved between the students to the back of the room, where Daniels sat away from the others, head tilted back with his eyes closed. She approached him timidly; he was the boy who had been sleeping earlier. With his head raised she got a good look at his face; he was wickedly good looking, his black hair short and messy. He had a hoop earring pierced in his right eyebrow with hoops pierced all down his left ear and double studs in both with a hoop at the top of his right. A silver chain with a cross pendant hung around his tan neck. He wore a black T-shirt emblemized with two red handprints and 'Help, I'm Stuck in this Pyscho' written in white on the chest, black jeans, and black combat boots. "Um...hey," she said shyly. His eyes opened and they were stormy skies, gray clouds of thunder. He eyed her, taking time to look her up and down. He made no answer. "Uh...I'm Carnellie Vale, your lab partner." A long stretch of silence. "Quint Daniels." Carnellie looked up from her observation of the floor. She slid hesitantly into the seat next to him. Rothsbro interrupted the small talk going on around the room. "Glad you all know the people around you despite your social networking. Since it's the first day of school I'll let the work slide. Do whatever you wish within reason. Which means no attempting to climb out the window onto the roof Macon?" The chatter started up again, those who were friends gathering to talk together. Quint didn't get up from his seat. Neither did Carnellie. Normally she would have gone and talked to Linda Delcroe, Claudi Swanns, or Amanda Kirkley but she didn't think she could take rejection. She reached into her bag and pulled out her sketchpad. Out of the corner of her eye she watched Quint lean back in his seat, taking out his cell and beginning to text. Carnellie let out a soft sigh and began to lose focus of the others talking around her; she put her energy into the drawing before her, not even realizing what it was. She was lost completely, her attention on the lines of graphite she drew along the white page, forming shapes her mind could see and her hand brought to life. Being in her bubble was relaxing. She could forget about the events of the day, pretend for a moment at least that no one else existed. But she was abruptly brought crashing back to reality. Claudi Swanns, a close follower of Missy, dropped herself into the empty seat in front of her. "So, Carnellie, I hear you had some fun over the summer." Claudi's eyes brightened at the thought of gossip and dirty secrets. Carnellie flushed. "Whatever you heard it was wrong," she whispered tightly. She focused on her drawing, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She felt Quint shift in his seat beside her. Claudi laughed harshly. "Oh, it's okay Nellie, you can tell me. I can keep a secret. So? How was it? Is Nathaniel as good a lay as they say he is?" "I told you that what you heard was wrong," Carnellie repeated. Tears pricked at her eyes. "Now leave me alone." "I think you're lying you b***h," Claudi hissed. "I've seen the way you look at him. You've always been jealous of Missy, and how she stood a much better chance of getting into Nathaniel's pants. What did you do, get him drunk? Slip him some Ecstasy? Pay him?" Swallowing back bile that rose in her throat Carnellie fought back at the turmoil of her emotions. Beneath her fingers her picture scrunched up, wrinkling, bending into her hands as she clenched them into tight fists. "Everyone knows what you did. Everyone thinks you're worthless." Claudi dropped herself on top of the drawing. Through her tears Carnellie saw a group message between Claudi and people she didn't know; all taking Missy's side, believing Missy's story. Slut, tramp, w*********h. Those were what they called her. Carnellie jerked out of her chair, vomit rising high in her throat. She dashed out of the room, leaving behind a sudden silence and the sound of Rothsbro questioning Claudi and Quint on what was going on. She slammed the door to the girl's room open, ran to a stall, and just reached the toilet as her breakfast came up in gut wrenching pain. Tears ran hot and fast down her cheeks. Another heave clenched her stomach muscles as she retched. Gentle hands took hold of her loose hair and pulled it away from her face. "Linda, go get the nurse. Have Ian get the Principle." Amanda Kirkley spoke softly. "I'll be right back," Linda responded. She dashed out the door as Karl walked in. "My brother knows Judith, Nellie's sister. I'll have him call her." He was back out the door, taking out his cell. Carnellie heaved again. "Shh, it's alright Nells," Amanda whispered, rubbing the other girl's back, keeping a gentle hold on her hair. "You're going to be just fine I promise." They stayed in silence for a few moments. The door opened and Karl returned. "Judith said she'll get here as fast as she can." He stepped aside as Quint strode in, Carnellie's backpack in hand. "How is she?" "Puking her guts out," Amanda said bluntly. A lung breaking sob tore itself out of Carnellie's mouth. She clapped her hands to her face to muffle the sound. "Poor sweetie. Claudi had better stay a mile away from me. If I see her face again I'm going to claw her eyes out." Quint came into the stall just as Carnellie gave a vicious dry heave. "Get me a cold, wet paper towel," Quint said to Amanda. He took over, taking Carnellie's hair into his own hands as the girl moved away. He kept a hand on Carnellie's back, not bothering to whisper comforting words. When Amanda came back he put the wet paper towel on the back of Carnellie's neck. "Easy Carnellie. Slow your breathing; take deep, even breaths. In and out. In and out." The deliberateness of his voice washed over her. Carnellie sniffled as she struggled to do as she was told, sucking in air and then letting it out in a whoosh. In time she was following his slow and easy rhythm and her breath evened out until she was no longer gasping. "Good girl. You're doing just fine." Karl came farther in to stand next to his girlfriend. Moments later the door opened again. Linda came in with the nurse, who shooed out the boys and took over calming down the irate teen. Mr. Rothsbro came a few minutes later, followed by the principle, to make sure his student was alright after assigning Claudi to two weeks of detention, every day after school for three hours. When the bell rang to dismiss class he sent Linda and Amanda out to guard the door. They went out, warriors on a mission. Karl, Austin, Garrett, Ian, and Kingsley were waiting outside the door. "Where's Quint?" Linda asked. "Said he was going out to meet Judith," Karl responded. He was holding Carnellie's backpack in a tight grip. "How is Nells is she okay?" Amanda shook her head. "She's in quite the state. I don't what Claudi said or did, but it really upset her." She scrubbed a hand down her face. Linda pulled on her ponytail, her face scrunched in displeasure. "Not to sound like a nosy prick but, do you guys know what's going on?" Kingsley asked. Amanda shook her head. "I've heard some whispers but nothing clear. Something about Nells and Nathaniel at a party, but the story is always changing. Missy, or her crowd, or all of them, are stoking a nasty fire." A girl came towards them. "Move, I need to use the restroom." "Sorry hun, going to have to find a different one, this one's out of order," Linda responded. The other girl narrowed her eyes. "Says who?" she demanded. "The janitor now beat it," Amanda snapped. When the girl left with a huff Amanda swore under her breath. "Freaking freshmen." Close to thirty minutes later Quint returned with a frantic Judith. "Where is she? Where's my sister?" Amanda and Linda took her in. Judith found her sister leaning against the bathroom wall, the nurse, male teacher, and the principle hovering close to her discussing the issue, but not close enough to be a nuisance rather than aid. Carnellie's face was streaked with make-up, her eyes red and swollen, her body quivering as she kept on crying. "Oh my poor baby. Come on Carny, I'm going to get you home.