Broken Souls

Chapter 12 - Logan

I'm not sure why I felt the urge to share the darkest parts of my life with her. She had shared her life with me, after all. She just sat there quietly, looking at me without saying anything. What I appreciated most was that there was no pity in her eyes. I took a sip of my coffee, preparing myself for the difficult conversation ahead. I wasn't sure how she would react, but even if she chose to leave and never speak to me again, I would respect her decision. "There's more I want to tell you, but I don't know how you'll respond," She squeezed my hand, encouraging me to go on.

“I was placed in foster care right after, and that’s where I met Brian, Julian, and Justin. We clicked from the start and became more like brothers, but it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows—we still had to fight to survive. We stuck together and always had each other’s backs. When we were 16, we all started working at a bike repair shop. It was one of the things we had in common. Josh, the owner, was sketchy as f**k, but we kept to ourselves because we needed the money. One day, Justin walked into Josh’s office while he was in the middle of a drug deal. We discovered later on that he would hide kilos of heroin in the gas tanks of certain bikes and ship them out in containers to Mexico. We never told him that we knew; we never understood why there were bikes we weren't allowed to touch. One day, we began investigating and uncovered the truth.” I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to tell her the next part, the part that truly changed me. “I’m right here and not going anywhere. If you want to stop, I’ll respect that,” she reassured me. I shook my head.

“A month went by without anyone mentioning the incident, so we decided to let it go. Justin usually arrived at the shop hours before opening because he was always busy building bikes up for clients. One day, we arrived about an hour or so after him and heard him scream. As we ran into the shop to make sure he was okay there was a man standing over him. Justin's face was covered in blood, beaten beyond recognition. Then I noticed the gun. It was like something took over me, I tackled the man to the ground and started punching him over and over again. I grabbed his gun and stood up, aiming it at him. Brian tried to calm me down so I could put the gun down and not do anything stupid, but I shrugged him off. This man was about to kill my brother, and I wasn't going to let that happen. I demanded to know why he attacked Justin, and he revealed he was hired by Josh. Shocked, trying to figure out why he would target Justin, then it hit me. I realized it was because Justin had stumbled upon a drug deal in the office. And the man confirmed my suspicions. Without hesitation, I pulled the trigger and didn't stop until the magazine was empty.”

My eyes remained fixed on her. I was speaking to her without any regret or remorse. I looked for any hint of fear in her eyes, but there was none. She kept her hand on mine, which I took as a positive sign, though I wasn't sure she would feel the same in a few minutes.

“The look in your eyes suggests there's more you want to say. Do you feel like sharing?”. Her calm demeanor suggested she must have noticed the confusion on my face. “I’m here to listen; Logan, not here to judge you,” I took a deep breath trying to settle my nerves. How is she so calm, for a stranger she can read me like no one else outside of my brothers and it surprises me.

“I instructed Brian and Julian to take Justin to the hospital and tell them he was mugged. Initially, Brian resisted, but I made it clear that they needed to leave and not return to the shop, no matter what.” I stopped and closed my eyes tightly trying to regain myself. “Logan, look at me,” I opened my eyes and met her gaze as she gripped my hand more firmly.

“I moved the body and strung it up right in front of the door so that it would be the first thing Josh would see when he arrived. Fortunately, I knew Josh’s schedule, so I waited in the shadows where he couldn’t see me, but I could see him. When he saw the body strung up, his face went pale, as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. He lowered the guy’s body, knowing he couldn’t call the cops without risking his shop being closed and having the drugs discovered, which would piss the people off he had business with; they don’t allow any mishaps if it comes to their business. When his back was turned, that’s when I struck. I knocked him out and tied him to his chair. Unsure of when he’d wake up, I waited. After what felt like hours, he started coming around. When he realized he was tied up, he began to panic. He still couldn’t see me, as I was behind him, but the calm I felt witnessing his fear is something I can’t even describe.” I took a sip of my coffee, replaying conversation in my mind.

Me: You can keep fighting all you want, but it won’t change your situation.

Josh: What the f**k are you doing, Logan? Let me go now!

Me: Sorry, but I can’t do that. By hiring that dumb f**k to kill my brother, you’ve just signed your own death warrant.

Josh: You have no idea what you’re talking about. You’re just a kid, you shouldn’t be involved in anything that could risk your life.

Me: That’s where you’re mistaken I got involved the moment I stepped in the shop this morning. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect my family, even if it means selling my soul. I’d do it in a heartbeat.

Josh: Just let me go, and we can forget this ever happened.

Me: Pathetic. You couldn’t even handle it yourself—you had to hire this i***t. That’s the difference between us. I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty if it means protecting my family. I’ll face you directly while I do what needs to be done, even if it stains my soul.

Josh: We can work something out. I’ll give you a share of the money if you let me go.

Me: (Laughing) No thanks. I’d rather make a deal with the devil than with you. (three shots)

"After I shot him while looking him in the eyes, I felt no remorse or guilt—just a sense of calm. I disposed of their bodies and cleaned everything up. Then I went to the hospital like nothing happened, Brian kept me updated about Justin's condition, and I felt at ease knowing that Justin was safe."

The tension mounted with every passing second she was silent. it felt like the walls were closing in on me. “Can you please say something?”. She continued to look at me with a calm expression. “What do you want me to say?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. Tell me I’m a monster, that you hate me, scream at me—just f*****g say anything. I just confessed to killing two people and the thing is they weren't the only ones I killed and I found pleasure while doing it, without feeling any remorse.” She relaxed her shoulders, which really confused me, a normal person would have run by what I just revealed, so why isn’t she?. Her expression turned seriously intense, and she tightened her grip on my hand. “First, you’re not a monster, and I never want to hear you say that again. Second, you did what you had to do, and that’s something I won't hold against you, and you most probably had a reason to kill the others which has nothing to do with anyone. And third, while we don’t know each other, what I took from what you’ve just told me is that you will do whatever it takes to protect your family. You’re strong and don’t let people walk all over you which I admire about you; Honestly, you can be incredibly intimidating at times but you don’t scare me.”

For some reason, her words made me feel at ease. She mentioned that we are strangers to each other, but what’s clear to me is how incredible she is and how much I want to learn about everything she has to offer. “Do you know what an amazing woman you are?” she began to blush, and I couldn't help but smile. I can't even remember the last time I smiled at a woman—usually, it's just a quick f**k and I avoid them afterward. “Amazing isn't the word I'd use. I know I’ll be on the run for the rest of my life, or until one of us ends up six feet underground or in a ditch.” She whispered the last part as if she didn't want me to hear, but I did. And If anyone is going down, it will be him. I won’t let that bastard lay a hand on her again.