Breaking Barriers

Moving on

Today is Monday and it seems that I am not feeling good. Maybe it is my karma because I told Papa yesterday that I am not feeling well. I have a fever today so I did not get up early. I am still lying on my bed and sis not eat breakfast because I don’t have an appetite. Mama take care of Love because I am sick good thing Papa beg him not to go out today because I am not feeling good. After taking medicine I decided to sleep but I awake when my phone rings. When I check it is Jam “Hello” “ Hi Lyn! How are you? Can you visit me here at home so that we can talk?” I am sorry Jam but I have a fever I cannot go out. I said. “Okay get well soon.” After that I go back to sleep. I noticed that someone sitting beside me when I open my eyes it is Jam. Jam why are you here? “I am just checking on you. I brought you some fruits and meds from John. He is here earlier when he knows that you are sick. He gave medicines and fruits for you. He wanted to visit you here but I stop him because I know that he is not allowed to come here.” Jam said. Seems like I wanted to cry now but I don’t want Jam to know that I am affected. Jam can you please take that with you. I am now on the process of moving on and I don’t want to accept anything from him. Please do me a favor Jam please tell him not to give anything I already forgot everything about him. My tears is about to fall now. “I know you were hurt but John loves you so much he only did that because he is so mad at you.” It’s fine Jam I understood you don’t have to worry about me because I already decided. Jam get his phone and call somebody. “John I am sorry she don’t want to accept it.” I heard Jam calling John. I turn to the other side so that I cannot see Jam. He bid goodbye and said “John said if you won’t accept it just throw it away.” After that she go out and I cry hard. I am moving on now and there he is doing these things now? He is impossible! I look at the fruits and did not touch it. Other part of my heart is happy because he still cares about me. My phone beep means that someone send me a text. I read the message and I can see that it is from John. “Babe get well soon. I am sorry if I am the one who cause you to be on this situation. I am just so mad at you and just wanted to punish you. I love you so much. Please forgive me.” I am crying now but I already decided to change my sim card so that he can no longer call or text me.

The next day I am getting better I woke up early and cook breakfast. When Papa and my siblings left I go to the Store with Love. I buy a sim card so that I can change my number. When I reach home I inserted the sim card I write my friends number so that I can save it. I will not tell Jam and Dianne my new number. Each day is so hard for me but I know that I can cross the road. Sometimes I am crying at night because I really love him so much and I miss him. Because I memorize his number sometimes I call him in the middle of the night just to hear his voice and hang up right away.

It is Saturday night I know they are in a hang out place. I call John “Hello. Who are you? Why you keeps on calling me but you won’t answer my call? John said. I hang up right away because I got nervous. Enough for me to hear his voice. I just miss him so bad. How can I move on if I always like this? I decided to sleep in peace now. The next morning I woke up with a heavy heart. What should I do to move on and forget him. I am going crazy if this will continue. I decided to go out tonight to meet my friends. I wanted to enjoy and I need to forget about him. I will do everything to move on. I call my friends that I will meet them tonight so after we eat dinner I told Papa that I will go out and he just nod.

I take a ride now going to the park and when I reach there I sit right away at the bench. They are so happy that I join them again. Kiven tease me. “Lyn your boyfriend is a rich kid!” He is not my boyfriend Kiven and stop teasing me I am here to enjoy. They look weird seems like they know that something wrong with me. Noel give the glass of tequila to me. I drink right away. I drink 2 shots and I already felt dizzy. I thought I will forget if I get drunk but his face keeps flashing in my mind. Noel notice that something is wrong with me. “Lyn we are your friends always remember that we are always here for you. If you need a shoulder to cry on please don’t hesitate.” No I am fine. Believe me. I drink last shot of tequila and told Noel that that’s my last shot. I heard that someone is calling Kiven so he answered the call. When Kiven answered it is Jam. “Whats up Jam? You wanted to ask if Lyn is here? Kiven is looking at me so I give him a sign to tell Jam that I am not here. After that Kiven hang up the call. Thank you Kiven I told him. It is already 9:30 so I decided to go home. Noel take me to the terminal so that I can get a ride and the I bid farewell to him. I got home on time and sleep well because I am a bit drunk.