Breaking Barriers

Realization

When Papa and my siblings left home I called John right away to inform him about my punishment. I even wanted to see John everyday. Not able to see him for a week makes me sick how much more if this is for a month. John still angry with me but I still need to inform him. After a few rings John answer my call. “Hello?” I can hear him on the other line. Seems like he is so cold. Babe I am sorry if I called you. Papa punished me for did not going home last night I am not allowed to go out for a month. So I cannot see you for a month.” “Okay. Is that all you need? Because I need to attend my second class.” John said. Yes that’s all. I answered. “Alright, bye! I really cannot take how he treated me. I love you. But he did not response instead he hang up right away. My tears started to fall. Now you are so cold because you already get what you want. It’s fine I won’t regret it because I love you that much that I am willing to gave you everything. I am crying hard because I got hurt. I need to pick up myself if John really decided to leave me. The thought of breaking up will kill me. I don’t know how to survive. I call Noel when I already calm down. I need to know why John was able to get me at Kiven’s home. I dialed Noel’s number and after a few rings he answer it. “Hello” he said. Noel I am calling because I wanted to know what happen last night why John pick me up. “ You are wasted last night and you are all dancing. You place your phone on the table where I seated and your phone keeps on ringing I told you that someone keeps on calling you and you ask me to answer it so I answered the call. The man on the other line ask me if who I am why I have your phone. I told him that you are here and attended our friends birthday. She ask where you are because he wanted to talk to you and I told him that you are currently dancing with our friends and you are drunk. So he demanded me to tell him where is your location because he is your boyfriend. So I tell him our location after a few minutes he already arrived. So he take you I even help him guide you to his car. Your boyfriend is rich hah” You crazy! That man is a jerk. Thank you so much Noel that’s all I needed to know. Bye! “You’re welcome. bye!

John did not text or call me. I let him first because maybe he is still mad at me. I try to convince Papa after a few days if he can cancel my punishment. 3 days had passed and still did not hear anything from John. I really got hurt on what John is doing but all I did is crying now. After 5 days if he still won’t text or call me I will call him to clear things out. If he really loves me I know that he cannot afford that he can’t talk to me in a day. Today is Saturday and it’s already 5 days that John did not contact me. I decided to call him tonight when I go to bed. After done cleaning the kitchen I go straight to my room and dialed John’s number right away. “Hello” he answered. I heard in the background Clark and Marco’s voice so I know that they are in our hang out place. Before when I call him he always said Babe but now he seems just answering a regular phone calls. Here I am again getting emotional but I need to be brave and act like nothings happen. “Hey John I am calling because you did not call me for a few days.” I said. “ Oh I see I am so busy this week. I am now with Jam, Dianne and my friends. You wanted to say something?” John said. “Alright seems like you no longer cared about me. It’s fine I totally understand you. Just tell me the truth if you wanted to break up with me. No worries I will be okay I just need to clear things out with you. Even if I say this words my tears keep on falling but I made sure that he won’t notice that I am crying. Alright John I am setting you free. We are now strangers. I really cannot hold my cry I know that he knows that I am crying now. Thank you so much for over a year of making me happy I think we are not meant for each other. Goodbye Babe you still have a place in my heart. Then I hang up. I cry my heart out because I am badly hurt. Maybe things will not work for the both us. He is rich while I am not. We have lot of differences in life too many complications. I deeply in love with him and maybe he no longer needs me because he already got what he wanted from me. Why I love this man so much that I cannot even live without him. Imagine that he did not even call me back after I hang up. I am too dumb to believe him but I don’t have regrets why it is happening. I know I need to accept the fact that I am nobody compare to all the girls sorrounded him. After crying hard seems like I no longer have tears to cry. I realized that I should not let myself fall to a person like John. He is so high compared to me. I need to pick up myself from drowning. Since I already set him free I will start planning how to live without John. Maybe at first it is hard but I know I can move on.

It is already 2am but still I cannot sleep. I reminiscing our happy moments together I promised myself that it is the last time I will think of him. I tried my best to divert my mind to other things so that I can sleep. After a few minutes I already fall asleep and when I woke up it is already 8 in the morning. Papa wake me up because I did not cook breakfast yet. I told Papa that I am not feeling well so he told me that she will be the one to cook breakfast. I am still lying on my bed now and check my phone but still no text from John. So I decided to let go of him forever I am planning to buy a new sim so that I can change my number. After Papa cook breakfast he call me so that we can eat. He is asking if I am cried last night because my eyes sore. I told Papa that I am crying because my tooth hurts. Papa said that he will cancel my punishment so I can go out if I wanted to go out. I said thank you to Papa.