Breaking Barriers

Move on from the past.

Papa did not able to work for a few days because he is sick. I need to take care of him and the kids that is why I cannot meet John for a few days. John texted and call me and said he really miss me so bad. I told him that I will meet him in a few days. I am lucky that I have a boyfriend who always understood me. I must be a luckiest girl because aside from looks he did not fail to make me happy and respect me. I couldn’t ask for more.

It is Friday afternoon and Papa seems like getting better now. I badly miss him so I am planning to go to the hangout place tonight to meet him but I will surprise him. I already prepared the dinner for us and planning to ask Papa if I can go out tonight. I did not able to see John for 4 days already and I can feel that he is already sulking. While eating I ask Papa if I can go out tonight. He smiled and nod I am so happy because Papa is already feeling better, he is the breadwinner of the family. That is why I have this mindset that I will help them when I am already at the right age. Before they died I wanted them to taste the better life and that’s my main goal.

After I clean the kitchen I hurriedly take a bath and dress up. This time I wear a skirt and a plain shirt and flats. I put on a light make up just to put a bit color on my face. When I pass by Jam’s house on my way to the terminal where I can get a ride my Aunt told me that Jam and Dianne already left 30 minutes ago. I heard that the boys won last night and they will be having a simple celebration. They don’t have a game tonight so it is time for them to chill out. I already reach the terminal and ride a tricycle going to our hang out place. It takes 30 minutes for me to arrive there. After a few minutes I already reach to our hang out place and get off from the tricycle. I started walking to reach to the bench where they usually seated. So when I am already near to where they are all of them were surprise that I am here. Jam hug me and Dianne as well. Jenny is not around maybe she is busy tonight. Boys greeted me and I greet them back.

I noticed that John is not here and seems like Marco acts weird this time even Dianne noticed it because she is asking Marco if he is okay. And the man nodded at her. Clark on the other hand told me that John will be here soon. I just nodded and sit beside Jam who is sitting beside Clark. We are just talking about the basketball tournament and Clark is bragging that he is an asset of their team that is why they won straight. We are only laughing at him because the other boys are reacting to it. After an hour we saw a man and woman walking from the highway and they are almost near to our place. When they are already near I noticed that it is John and the lady I saw at the Mall before with her group. It shocks me suddenly makes me feel uncomfortable. My heart beats so fast that I cannot even control it. I don’t know what I feel at the moment because I am so shocked. The group is now looking at me while Jam is tapping at my back. I don’t know how to react on what I saw. I also don’t want to assume because I wanted to clear things out. John seems like did not notice that I am here because it is quiet dark on where we seated. He just said to the group that he will be back because he still needs to take the lady home. The group seems like cannot say a word. They are just looking at me now to check my reaction. I cannot say a single word and my tears are threaten to fall now I know that I need to know something base on their reaction. I know Marco is aware of what is happening because he is the closest person to John that is why he act weird earlier.

I get my phone from my pocket and pretend to be texting because I feel awkward on how they are looking at me now. Jam break the silence and ask if I am okay. I just nodded at her because I am already emotional. Seems like any of this time my tears will fall. I told Jam that I need to go first, she is looking at me in the eye and nod. I bid goodbye to the group and walk fast I know that they understood what I am feeling right now. The weird thing is that nobody dare to explain or even tell that I don’t have to feel bad because that lady is only a friend or relative. That is why I decided to go home so that I can cry it out to lighten my emotion. I saw Marco get his phone and call John. I hurriedly walk to where I can get a ride back home however Marco chase me and ask me not to go home yet because John is coming in a few minutes. I just smiled at him to pretend that everything is alright. I lie to him that I need to go home because Papa need me to go home for some reason. From afar I saw a man run towards us I am positive that it is John. Marco said “ I think you cannot go home yet he’s already here.” My body is shaking that seems like I cannot stop myself from crying. So I walk to the mini park on where we seated before. I want us to talk on that area because it is dark my tears are slowly falling but I really wanted to burst it out. John followed me and hold my hand. I wipe my tears so that John will not notice that I am crying after that I face him and he hug me tight. I did not hug him back because I need an explanation from him. My eyes is not cooperating anymore my tears keep falling and I cannot even control it. John is tapping my back now and ask me to stop crying. He is no longer hugging me instead he hold my face on his both hands. He is giving me a hard kiss now and I did not responded to it. Instead I push him away but he bite my lips and motion his tongue inside my mouth. My body is no longer cooperating me because of the sensation I am feeling right now seems like my world stops and I am already losing control of myself. I am now out of breath needs to break the kiss. I am chasing my breath now so as John. When we already calm down John started talking.

“ I am sorry, I did not mean to hurt you. Seeing you hurt will kill me. If I should know that you will come tonight I should not let you see us together.” So you wanted to hide it from me? Are you cheating on me John? “ No I am not. Please listen to me. That lady is Emma I think you remember her. You saw her at the Mall before with her friends. She is my ex girlfriend she is the lady I am referring that I have a serious relationship before. His Dad did not approve our relationship and force us to break up or else he will send his daughter abroad to study because I love her so much before I agree that we will broke up so that I can still see her at School. Until I meet you, I did not know that I will fall for you this hard which is enough for me to let go of her and made my love for her vanished. When she saw us in the Mall she was so hurt and crying. She called me and clarify if I really wanted to let go of her. If I no longer love her. I thought you won’t be able to come so I decide to talk to her to clear things out and to have a closure. That is why we decided to meet today and talk to clear things up and close everything so that we can move on. I send her home because it is already night and I want her to be home safe. If is just knew that you were here when we pass by I should have introduce you to her.” Did you trust me? I don’t know why John has this effect on me that everytime he explain to me I forgive him right away. I hug him tight and he hug me back. We are now okay and I am happy that he confess to me. I should trust him and ask him first before I reacted to it.