Breaking Barriers

Getting stronger

Days and weeks passed by. Me and John are both happy with each other. He is the reason why I keep on smiling everyday even if life is so hard for me. Everyday is a struggle. Classes are set to open again. Since I already graduated in High School and cannot go to College this year because my parents cannot afford to send me to College I just need to stay at home and take care of my siblings. Need to prepare stuffs for them to go to School and after they left home I will be the one to take care of Love.

On the other hand John is already on his second year in College. He is studying in one of the prestigious University in Cebu. His classes will start next week so he ask that we need to meet everyday before his class started. I need to admit to myself that I feel insecure that John will go to School soon. I know that he will meet a lot of pretty ladies at School and who am I compare to them. I am really getting paranoid. Already getting a headache thinking of it. If I just can ask John not to go to School. I am really going crazy thinking that I will lose John one day. However on the other hand myself tells me that I need to trust John. I trust him but I don’t trust the ladies that sorrounds him. This is the perks of having good looking man.

It is already afternoon and my sisters already arrived home from School. Me and Papa already have an agreement that I can go out at night to enjoy myself as long as I go home at 10pm. Maybe because Papa feel pity at me because I cannot go to College this year and he knows how I love to finish School with a degree since I am also an outstanding student at School. At first it is hard to accept that I cannot go to College but I also need to understand my parents capacity. I also cannot apply for a part time job and go to School at the same time because Love is only 5 years old and nobody will look after her. Maybe next year I can do that because love will go to School next year.

It is already night and I am ready to go out. I will meet John at the seashore near my place where there’s a seawall. Papa did not approve me of having a boyfriend so I hide my relationship to John first. Papa thought that I just go out with Jam and my other friends. John really wanted to meet my parents because he said that he is really so serious about me. Sometimes he feels bad that I am not open our relationship to my parents and some of my friends. Good thing he listens to me. I told him that I really wanted to do that but I am not allowed to have a boyfriend yet. So I need to hide it first and in the right time I will introduce him to my parents.

I started walking now to meet John in our meeting place and when I am almost near I saw already the back of the man who made me happy every day. He is wearing shorts and a white plain Tshirt. I walk fast to get near to him he did not notice me yet until I hug him at the back. He giggled and take off my hand to face me and hug me tight. I am happy but feel scared that one of our neighboors will saw us. I ask him that we should go down because it is a bit darker in there. I am really avoiding that someone will saw us. We are sitting now on the sand and talking. John told me that he may not be able to meet me often next week because classes will start next week. I sigh and nod. “Is there something wrong?” John ask. There’s nothing wrong Babe. However at the back of my mind it is telling me that can you please don’t go to School? Of course I cannot say that to John. I did not realize that John is already talking to me but I did not able to answer him because I am thinking of something else. John pinch my nose to catch my attention. “Are you sure that you are okay? Can you please tell me what you are thinking? I know that something is bothering you.” John said. Babe what if you will meet somebody else at School and break up with me? “Don’t ever think of that Babe just please trust me. Do you trust me?” Yes Babe I trust you. And then he kiss me torridly. Oh God I really love this man. Our world seems like stop and only I can hear our heartbeat. His hand started to travel and I felt the electricity. He started kissing me on my neck up to my chest. I feel a different sensation for the first time that I don’t want him to stop on what he is doing. He started unclasp my brassiere and massage my breast while kissing on me. I feel so hot all over my body that I cannot even control myself anymore. I close my eyes while John is kissing me. I am scratching his back now because of the intense feeling I feel right now. I feel wet down there that seems like I wanted him inside of me. I am really losing my mind. His hand is now traveling down and touching my panty. Suddenly I get back at my normal state that I push John hard. God that was close! I breath hard and lock my brassiere. What we have done? I am feeling awkward right now that I cannot even look at John. John’s eyes is full of l**t he is breathing hard. “I am sorry babe I don’t mean to do that.” John said. I am just carried away by my emotions. My attention was caught by his manhood. It’s huge! God if I did not woke up from that sensation we end up having s*x. I will get pregnant and my dreams will shattered. I look away because I really felt awkward. John get my hand and kiss it. “Babe I am sorry but I need to admit that I am close to do it.” John said. It’s fine Babe. We just need to avoid it the next time we are still young and I am not ready. You know how hard our life and I promised my parents that I will help them. John hug me.