If Only You Knew

Stella stood by the window of her new room, staring outside. Everything looked unfamiliar. The trees lining the street swayed from side to side, their leaves rustling as the wind passed through them. It was a bright afternoon, with the sun still high in the sky, yet the breeze was unusually strong. The trees shook beneath it. From where she stood, she could hear the distant buzzing of the street. Cars moved back and forth, their engines humming as they passed. Occasionally, a horn sounded, followed by voices drifting from somewhere beyond the house. It was noisy. Not terribly noisy. Just different. Everything about this place was different. Stella slowly let out a deep breath. “A new life,” she whispered. She paused. “A new world.” Another pause. “A new… everything.” The words felt strange leaving her mouth. She wasn’t sure whether she was excited about the idea or simply trying to convince herself that she was. “Hey, kiddo.” Stella jumped. She quickly turned around. Her father stood at the doorway, one hand resting against the doorframe. He had probably been there for a while, but she had been too lost in her thoughts to notice him. “Hey,” she replied. Her father looked around the room, then at her, then at the boxes. “You haven’t packed yet?” Stella glanced behind her. Almost everything was still exactly where they had left it. Boxes were stacked against the wall, some open and others still sealed. Her clothes were still inside her luggage, while a few books and belongings lay scattered around the room. “I was going to,” she said. Her father raised an eyebrow. “I know,” Stella quickly added. “I just… wanted to get familiar with the place first.” He smiled slightly. “I understand.” There was no anger in his voice. “It’s a new place. I know it takes some time to get used to.” Stella nodded. “But you can’t spend the whole afternoon getting familiar with the room.” She smiled a little. “I know.” “Good.” He walked closer to her. Stella looked back through the window. “Dad?” “Hmm?” “Do we really have to do this?” He stopped. Stella turned toward him. “I mean…” She struggled to find the right words. “Starting a new life. A new place. New everything.” Her father looked at her for a moment. There was something in his expression that made Stella feel as though he understood exactly what she was asking. He stepped closer. “Come here.” Stella hesitated for a second before walking into his arms. Her father wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. “We can do this together,” he said quietly. “You and me.” Stella closed her eyes. For a moment, the unfamiliar room didn’t feel quite so unfamiliar anymore. She smiled against his chest. “Okay.” He pulled away and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. “I’ll be back later. Take your time, but try to get some things done before I return.” “Okay.” “And don’t overwork yourself.” “I won’t.” He smiled. “That’s my girl.” Then he left. Stella watched him disappear down the hallway. Once she heard the front door close, she turned back toward the room. She stared at the boxes. “Well,” she murmured. “I guess we have work to do.” She walked toward the nearest box and sat on the floor. One by one, she began opening them. The first contained clothes. She folded them and placed them inside the old wooden wardrobe against the wall. The second contained books, which she arranged on a small shelf near the window. The third contained shoes and a few personal items. She continued, slowly turning the unfamiliar room into something that belonged to her. It wasn’t much. The room was old. Very old. The walls had faded paint, with several cracks running across them. Some parts of the floor were damaged, with sections that looked as though they had begun to loosen over time. The ceiling wasn’t much better. Stella looked upward. The roof would definitely need some work. She sighed. There was a lot to fix. The room had belonged to the previous occupants, an older couple who had apparently lived there for years. From the few things they had left behind, Stella could tell that they had probably spent a long time in the house. It wasn’t exactly the kind of room she had imagined herself living in. But it was home now. At least for the moment. She continued arranging the things she could handle herself. She made a mental list. The crack on the wall needed to be repaired. The damaged floor needed attention. The ceiling needed work. The room needed a fresh coat of paint. The window needed cleaning. And probably a dozen other things she hadn’t noticed yet. She wondered when her father would have time to start working on everything. He had already told her that the house needed a lot of work, but Stella hadn’t realized just how much until they arrived. She picked up another box. It was heavier than the others. She pulled it closer and opened it. Inside were some of her old things. For a moment, she smiled. Then she saw it. A family portrait. Her hand froze. The picture lay underneath a few pieces of clothing, almost as though it had been intentionally hidden. Stella slowly pulled it out. She stared at it. There they were. Her family. Everyone looked happy in the picture. Too happy. Her eyes moved across the faces one by one. Memories began rising to the surface. She didn’t want them. Not now. Not here. Her fingers tightened around the edges of the frame. There were too many memories attached to that picture. Things she had tried very hard not to think about. Things she didn’t want to explain. Things she didn’t want anyone to know. She swallowed. Then she carefully placed the portrait back inside the box and closed it. Stella sat quietly for a moment before pushing the box aside. “Not today,” she whispered. She stood up and continued unpacking. A few minutes later, something caught her attention. It was a teddy bear. Stella picked it up. The bear looked old but surprisingly clean. Its fur was soft and slightly faded, and around its neck was a small name tag. Lucy. Stella stared at the name. “Lucy,” she repeated softly. She turned the teddy bear around, wondering if there was anything else written on it. There wasn’t. Maybe the previous occupants had left it behind. Maybe Lucy had once lived here. Maybe it belonged to a child who had grown up in this room. Stella smiled faintly. For some reason, she didn’t want to throw it away. She placed the teddy bear carefully on the corner of the bed. “There,” she said. The bear stared back at her with its button eyes. Stella laughed quietly. “Welcome to the new room, Lucy.” She went back to work. By late afternoon, she had managed to unpack most of her clothes and arrange her books. The room still looked old, but it looked less like someone else’s room and more like hers. She stepped back and looked at her work. It wasn’t perfect. But it was a start. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked around. The silence felt strange. Back home, there had always been something familiar around her. A familiar street. Familiar walls. Familiar voices. Here, every sound seemed new. Every corner seemed unfamiliar. She wondered if she would ever get used to it. Her father had promised that they would be fine. They could do this together. She wanted to believe him. She really did. Stella looked at the teddy bear sitting on the bed. “Lucy,” she whispered. The name sounded strange in the room. She smiled. Then she heard the front door open. Her head lifted. A few seconds later, her father’s voice echoed through the house. “Stella! I’m home!” A smile immediately spread across her face. She jumped off the bed and hurried out of the room. “Dad!” She ran down the hallway and into his arms. Her father laughed as he caught her. “Whoa! Easy there.” “You’re back.” “I said I would be.” “I know.” He hugged her for another moment before letting her go. “Did you get anything done?” Stella smiled proudly. “A lot.” “A lot?” She nodded. “You should come and see.” Her father pretended to look exhausted. “After today? I don’t know if my legs can survive another tour of the house.” Stella laughed. “You’re dramatic.” “I am a tired man.” “You’re not old.” “Who said anything about old?” “You did.” “I said tired.” She laughed again. Her father smiled when he saw her laughing. He had been worried about her. More than he had allowed himself to show. The move had been difficult. He knew that. And he knew Stella was trying to be strong. Sometimes too strong. He reached behind his back. “Oh,” he said casually. “Before I forget.” Stella looked at him. “What?” He brought out a box from behind him. “Dinner.” Stella’s eyes widened. “Pizza?” “Pizza.” She immediately grabbed the box. “You’re the best.” “I know.” They walked into the kitchen together. Her father placed the pizza on the table while Stella brought out two plates. They sat across from each other. For a while, they simply ate. No serious conversations. No questions about the past. No discussions about everything that had changed. Just pizza. Just the two of them. Just a quiet evening in a new home. “This is actually good,” Stella said. Her father nodded. “Of course it is. I picked it.” “You didn’t make it.” “That doesn’t matter.” Stella laughed. Her father smiled. Outside, the wind had grown calmer. The trees no longer shook as violently as they had earlier. The street was still alive with movement, but the noise seemed farther away now. Stella looked around the kitchen. This place was still unfamiliar. The house was still old. The room upstairs still needed work. There were still boxes waiting to be unpacked. There were still memories she didn’t want to touch. And there were still so many things she didn’t know about this new life. But as she sat there with her father, eating pizza and listening to him complain about how expensive everything had become, Stella felt something she hadn’t felt since they arrived. A little comfort. Maybe this place wouldn’t be so bad after all. Maybe a new life didn’t have to mean forgetting the old one. Maybe it simply meant finding a way to live with it. Stella looked toward the window. The last traces of sunlight were disappearing from the sky. She took another bite of pizza. “A new life,” she whispered under her breath. This time, the words didn’t feel quite as strange. She smiled. Maybe she could do this. Maybe they could. Together.