TAINTED INNOCENCE

Chapter 5

Kung may award para sa “Pinakamagaling Umiwas sa Lalaki,” ako na siguro ‘yon.

Dalawang araw na akong ghost mode—walang reply, walang tingin, walang kahit anong contact kay Dominic Valencia.

Tinapon ko na rin sa ilalim ng drawer ang dress na suot ko nung gabi ng party. I even told Trisha I wasn’t feeling well para lang makaiwas sa interrogation. Kasi, to be honest, hindi ko rin alam kung anong nangyari sa’kin.

That night? That almost-kiss? The way his touch lingered on my skin kahit wala naman siyang ginawa? Para akong sinusunog sa loob. And I hated it.

Or maybe I didn’t.

Pero ayokong isipin ‘yon.

So, I drowned myself in work—nag-design ako ng three mood boards, nagsort ng fabric swatches, at nag-volunteer pa sa isang product shoot kahit wala sa schedule ko. Anything para lang matanggal siya sa utak ko.

“You’re not used to being wanted, are you?”

Damn it, Dominic. Stop living in my head rent-free.

Kakatapos ko lang mag-refill ng water bottle sa pantry ng office nang marinig ko ang buzz ng phone ko sa bag.

One message. Unknown number.

But deep down, alam ko na kung sino.

With shaky fingers, I unlocked it.

DOMINIC:

> Avoiding me won’t change the fact that you’re still curious, Bella.

Putang—

Napaupo ako sa nearest chair.

Bakit ganun siya magsalita? Bakit parang bawat word niya may kasamang kurot sa pagitan ng legs ko?

Shit, Bella. Compose yourself.

Nag-type ako ng reply, binura. Nag-type ulit, binura na naman.

Wag. Hindi mo dapat ‘to i-entertain.

Kaya ang ginawa ko? Nilagay ko sa silent ang phone at binalik sa bag. As in, nilibing ko siya sa ilalim ng sanitary kit at powerbank ko.

Pero kahit anong gawin kong iwas, parang may invisible leash na hinahatak ako pabalik sa kanya. I couldn’t stop checking the time. Couldn’t stop glancing at my bag. Couldn’t stop remembering how his voice dropped when he said my name.

Napapikit ako.

One message lang ‘yon, Bella. One message lang ‘yon.

Pero bakit parang buong pagkatao mo ang nabuhay ulit?

“Okay, spill.”

Napalingon ako agad sa boses na ‘yon—sharp, playful, and too damn observant for my own good.

Si Trisha.

Nakaupo siya ngayon sa gilid ng desk ko, hawak ang isang iced latte na may nakasulat pang “Bella’s Temptation” sa cup. Her signature joke pag alam niyang may ginagawa akong kabaliwan na hindi ko inaamin.

“Ano?” I asked, kunwaring clueless habang pinipilit kong bumalik sa mood board ko sa laptop.

She smirked. “Girl. Don’t even. Kita ko pa lang sa itsura mong para kang nilagnat pero naka-blush, alam ko na. Spill. Now.”

“Wala nga,” I mumbled, kahit ramdam ko na ang buong aura ko probably screamed GUILTY!

But Trisha wasn’t having it.

Bumaba siya mula sa desk, walked straight to my bag, at in seconds—hinila ang phone ko.

“Hoy!” I gasped, sabay habol sa kanya.

“Relax. Hindi ko naman bubuksan ‘to… unless may message si Sir Dangerous.” She raised an eyebrow habang iniikot-ikot ang phone sa kamay niya.

“Sir Dangerous?” I echoed, nakakunot-noo.

“Oo. Dominic-freaking-Valencia,” she whispered dramatically. “Yung lalaking muntik ka nang halikan? Yung makating-ngiti na parang kayang sunugin ang panty mo kahit naka-three feet distance kayo?”

I slapped her arm, blushing furiously. “Trisha!”

She laughed, unbothered. “Come on. Aminin mo. Texted ka niya, no?”

Hindi ako nakasagot agad.

Kaya inulit niya, this time mas tahimik, mas matalim: “Bella... nag-text siya, ‘di ba?”

My silence was the only answer she needed.

“Oh. My. God.” Tumili siya, pero pinigilan ang sarili. Instead, she did this little victory dance na parang nanalo ng raffle sa concert ni Harry Styles.

“Tangina. This is better than any w*****d update ever.”

“Tigilan mo nga ‘ko—”

“Hush. Let me enjoy this.”

She grabbed her phone and started typing furiously. “Kailangan ko ‘to i-journal. Bella Santiago’s s****l awakening: Day 1.”

“T-R-I-S-H-A!”

Tumawa siya ng mas malakas, then leaned in closer. “So anong sabi niya? ‘Hey baby girl’? ‘You up’? Or ‘Lick me like—’”

“TRISHA!”

Okay, I was laughing too. Kahit medyo kinakain ako ng hiya at guilt. But damn it, Trisha made everything feel less terrifying.

She finally calmed down, wiped imaginary tears sa mata niya, then sat beside me seriously.

“Listen,” she said, softer now. “I know this is new for you. And overwhelming. But babe, let’s not pretend you’re not intrigued.”

Tahimik ako.

“Kung hindi ka curious, you wouldn’t be blushing right now.”

“...I’m not blushing.”

“You’re pinker than a vibrator on Valentine’s,” she teased.

I groaned and buried my face sa hands ko.

“Okay, fine,” I whispered. “I am curious. But I don’t know what to do with it.”

She smiled knowingly. “Simple lang. Don’t overthink. Just let it happen. Pero…”

“Pero?”

“Keep your heart guarded. That man looks like heartbreak in designer shoes.”

I looked down at my phone.

Dominic-freaking-Valencia.

Bakit parang kahit warning pa ‘yan galing sa best friend ko… mas lalo lang akong tinatablan?

Tuesday - Normal day. Supposedly.

Until dumating ang isang delivery sa fashion studio na ikinagulat ng lahat—especially me.

“Miss Santiago? May package po for you,” tawag ng receptionist.

Napalingon kaming lahat. Isa ‘tong matte black box na may pulang satin ribbon—hindi branded, walang label. Mukha siyang mamahaling regalo na posibleng galing sa isang secret admirer o, worse… sa isang stalker na may masyadong maraming oras.

“Uy, uy, uy,” singit ni Trisha agad, biglang sumulpot sa likod ko like a vulture. “Ano ‘yan? Galing kay Daddy D?”

“Tumigil ka nga.”

But my heartbeat said otherwise. Boom. Boom. Boom. Parang may marching band sa dibdib ko habang kinukuha ko ang box mula sa receptionist.

The tag tied to the ribbon read only one thing:

For Bella. —D.

Trisha squealed beside me. “Oh my god. Confirmed. From Sir Panty-Destroyer talaga!”

“Shh!” I hissed, hawak ang box na parang sinindihang bomba. “Baka marinig tayo ng ibang staff!”

“Tao lang sila, Bella. Hindi sila immune sa chismis. Buksan mo na. Like, now na.”

I glanced around. Walang masyadong tao sa studio floor. Most were in meetings or out for errands. With shaky hands, I sat down sa desk ko and slowly pulled the ribbon.

Slide. Click. Open.

At ‘yon ang moment na tumigil ang mundo ko ng five whole seconds.

Inside the box was a deep red lace lingerie set—delicate, expensive-looking, and definitely not something you'd buy for your boss’s daughter unless you wanted to go straight to hell.

Underneath it, isang maliit na card ang nakalagay. Handwritten, sharp at sleek ang sulat:

Curiosity looks good on you.

Let me show you what else would.

— D.

Trisha was speechless. As in literal na natulala siya—na bihirang-bihira mangyari.

“Oh my f*cking god,” bulong niya, eyes wide. “This is... this is soft-core porn in gift form.”

“Trisha,” I breathed out, completely overwhelmed. “What the hell is this?”

“Well,” she said, finally blinking, “this is what we call a seductive declaration of s****l war.”

Pinagpapawisan na ang batok ko. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh, cry, or scream into a pillow. Kasi kahit insanely inappropriate ‘tong regalo, part of me… part of me felt something flutter deep inside.

Hindi ito ‘yung takot na nararamdaman ko sa mga unwanted gestures dati. This was different.

It felt... personal. Intimate. Dangerous.

And deeply exciting.

“Anong gagawin ko, Trish?” tanong ko, voice trembling.

“Girl,” sabi niya, eyes gleaming, “kung hindi mo lang suotin ‘yan para sa sarili mo at picturan, sayang naman ang boobage mo.”

“TRISHA!”

She cackled. “Joke lang… pero half-meant. Bella, this man is playing a game with you. Pero hindi lang siya basta-basta. Hindi ito high school crush. He knows exactly what he’s doing.”

“Exactly my problem,” I whispered.

I closed the box, carefully, like I was hiding evidence. But I couldn’t stop the way my skin was buzzing. Parang may secret akong itinatago sa ilalim ng damit ko, even if I hadn’t even touched the lingerie yet.

Dominic was dangerous.

Pero bakit parang gusto kong malaman kung anong mangyayari kung hindi ko siya iwasan?

Kinagabihan.

Nakaupo ako sa kama, nakasandal sa headboard, habang nag-a-activate ng atomic bomb ang utak ko. Wala akong magawa kundi titigan ang black box na dinala ko pauwi, tinago ko pa sa tote bag na parang contraband.

The red lace peeked from the corner, like it was teasing me too.

Parang may sariling utak ang tela.

I haven’t even touched it again since kanina sa office… but it’s haunting me.

Hindi ako mapakali.

I've been shifting positions every ten minutes, trying to read, trying to scroll mindlessly sa phone—pero kahit ilang beses kong i-refresh ang i********:, kahit anong aesthetic flatlay ang makita ko, wala pa ring tatalo sa imahe na naiwan sa isip ko.

Dominic.

His smirk. His voice. His hands.

“Let me show you what else would look good on you.”

Shit.

Napakagat ako sa labi ko, frustrated. Stop it, Bella. I told myself that a hundred times.

Pero habang nakatitig ako sa kisame, bigla na lang siyang sumulpot sa isip ko. Not the dressed-up, business Dominic. No. The one by the pool. The one who touched my cheek like it was the most sacred part of me.

Yung boses niyang mababa, parang pabulong palagi. The way he looked at me like he was undressing me with his eyes—slowly, sensually.

At doon na ako nadulas. Sa loob ng utak ko, bumigay na ang kontrol.

I closed my eyes. Just for a second.

And there he was.

His hand on my waist again.

His fingers brushing my jaw.

His lips hovering—just close enough for me to feel the warmth but never touching, never giving in.

In that moment, I imagined what it would feel like if he kissed me.

Not sweet and slow like in movies.

But desperate. Possessive. As if he needed to taste me like he’s been starving.

My thighs pressed together instinctively. I gasped.

What the hell is happening to me?

Ako si Bella Santiago. Twenty years old. Raised in a Catholic household. Never kissed. Never even allowed to watch a full R-rated film nang hindi pinapatay ng tatay ko ang TV.

Pero ngayong gabi, I was imagining a man licking wine off my skin.

I was imagining how his voice would sound if he moaned my name.

I was imagining… things I didn’t even know I was capable of thinking.

Dominic Valencia, what are you doing to me?

Bumangon ako, slowly walked to my desk, and opened the black box again. This time, walang guilt. Walang kaba.

I lifted the lace set with trembling fingers. The fabric was delicate. Silky. It whispered across my skin as I brushed it over my wrist.

Napapikit ako.

Would he like this on me?

Would he touch me if I wore this?

Would I let him?

My phone buzzed. Agad akong napabalikwas.

A text.

From an unknown number.

But I didn’t have to guess.

D: Can’t stop thinking about you.

And that look on your face when you saw my gift.

Tell me, Bella… are you thinking about me too?

Napatakip ako ng bibig. My heart pounded in my chest. Yes. Yes, I was. More than I should.

But I couldn’t just admit that. I had to be… careful. Curious, but not reckless.

I typed back.

Me: Maybe.

What if I am?

It took him less than a minute to reply.

D: Then let me teach you.

Everything.

Ang lakas ng t***k ng puso ko habang nakatitig sa reply niya.

Putangina. Sino bang hindi manginig sa ganyang linya?

Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko sandali. I needed to breathe. Kailangan ko ng kahit isang minuto para makabawi. Pero imbes na lumamig ang katawan ko, lalo pa akong uminit.

My fingers hovered above the keyboard. Should I reply?

I could ignore him. I should ignore him.

Pero hindi ko kaya.

This wasn’t about being polite anymore. Or innocent. Or perfect.

This was about me—finally, finally feeling alive.

So I typed.

Me: Everything? Sounds dangerous.

I hit send before I could back out.

Seconds later, nag-reply siya.

D: Only if you want it to be.

Some lessons are gentle… some, a little rough.

Tell me what you want, Bella.

Napasinghap ako. My entire body went rigid. Tell him what I want?

Paano? Hindi ko nga alam kung anong gusto ko. Or maybe… I did.

Lumingon ako sa salamin sa tapat ng desk. Doon ako nagtama ng tingin sa sarili kong repleksyon.

Messy bun. Flushed cheeks. Bare legs. Loose shirt.

Pero sa mga mata ko? I wasn’t the same Bella na kilala ng lahat.

I was someone else now. Someone bolder.

So I typed again. This time, slower.

Me: I’ve never wanted anything like this before.

But I think I want… you.

Sobrang tahimik ng paligid. Tahimik na parang bawat salita sa chat ay sumisigaw sa tenga ko.

A minute passed.

Then two.

Then my phone rang.

DOMINIC CALLING.

Napakapit ako sa kumot. Literal na nataranta ako. Should I answer? Kaya ko ba ‘to?

But my thumb was faster than my brain.

I swiped up.

“Hello?” My voice came out soft, unsure.

“Hi, Bella.”

His voice. Oh God, his voice.

Richer. Lower. Parang mas intimate sa tawag.

“Kaya mo pa?” he asked, casual pero may halong init.

“I—uh—I don’t know.”

“Totoo ba ‘yung sinabi mo?”

I swallowed hard. “Alin?”

“That you want me.”

I bit my lip. “Yes.”

He groaned softly on the other end. “Damn, sweetheart. Don’t say things like that unless you’re ready to be taken seriously.”

“What if I’m not ready?” tanong ko, barely breathing.

“Then I’ll wait,” sagot niya. “But I’ll keep whispering in your ear until you are.”

Shit.

Shit. s**t. s**t.

“Bella…”

“Yes?”

“Kung kasama mo ako ngayon,” bulong niya, “I’d make you lie back, close your eyes… and I’d teach you how to feel. Not think. Just feel.”

Napapikit ako. My legs curled under me. My breath shallow.

“Start with this,” dagdag niya. “Touch the lace. The one I gave you.”

I reached for it unconsciously.

“Good girl,” he said, as if he could see me.

Kinagat ko ang labi ko, fighting the moan that almost escaped.

“Let yourself imagine,” he said, voice like silk. “My fingers instead of yours. My lips instead of the fabric. My voice… right next to your ear.”

I was shaking. Literally. My body was no longer mine.

“Dominic…”

“Mm?”

“Stop,” I whispered. “Or I might do something crazy.”

He chuckled, low and dark. “That’s the point, baby.”

Hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakatulog. Hindi ko rin alam kung paano ako babalik sa normal bukas.

Ang sigurado lang ako…

Dominic Valencia is dangerous.

And I’ve never wanted danger this much.