White Boy

I sat down on the porch step observing the kids that looked about eight and up playing around. I pulled out a cigarette from my ear, lit it up and slid down a little bit, resting my right arm on the step while the other held the cigarette in its position towards my lips. I inhale the smoke then let it flow from my mouth. I had to get out of the house because I felt funny when sitting in the house having nothing to do because this Corona s*** going on. After I finished I dust the porch off,flick the half cigarette in the grass and went back inside. I walked through the long hall where the kitchen was to fix something to eat. I opened the fridge, pulled out the leftovers from yesterday and warmed it in the microwave. Beep* Beep* Beep* I popped open the microwave to get my food and went back outside to eat. As I began to eat I saw two girls walking past the house wearing Daisy Dukes and gossiping. Ain't never seen them before they sound like they are from New Orleans because shawty said "cold drink". "Aye, where yall going about?!" I yelled out. "White boy, stay in your lane," said the girl who has the new Orleans accent. Mmcht, I say back down and start back eating. I didn't have time to go back and forth with no hoe that looked like saucy Santana without the mustache and hair. I was close to being finished with my food until I heard the house phone ring. I rushed inside and answered. "yo, who this?" "Boy, don't act like you don't know my number." "If you ain't my first Lady then you shouldn't be calling here." "Antonio, please don't have me acting a fool while I'm out with family." "Siriesha, I told you once and I told you twice now this my last.. stop calling here. I hung up the phone without letting her get the last word. I'm tired of h***s and I'm tired of n**** at the same time. I met siriesha at the age of fifteen and believe it or not it was the dumbest thing I did. I was young and dumb at that time. She slept with one of my bruhders, use drugs and one time got pregnant but somehow she managed to get an abortion with no money. I knew she slept with guys to pay for her abortion that's why she's playing house now with her kin folks. "Antonio Tremaine Macey, why in the hell do you have my plate outside and have my door wide open." "Sorry, MA you want me to help you with the bags that's in yo hand?" "I sure do, son." She handed me the heaviest bag and took the other to her room. I sat the bag on the counter and went back outside to get the rest. I put the groceries up and headed to my mother's room. "What time my sperm donor coming home?" "Your father* you meant." "You asking or telling me?" "I'm telling you,Antonio I don't know what you have against your father but tighten up." I shrugged my shoulders,walking fully inside her bedroom and sat at the edge of the bed. "Ma, just tell me when he's coming home." "You'll find out when he gets here." Mmtcht, I stormed out her room because she started bulls*****g. She always be on that dumb s*** I swear if she wasn't my mom I would've knocked some brains in her head. I headed towards my room to get dressed for work. I slid on my Memphis hat, burger King black shirt, black ripped jeans and my new balance. I slip my backpack over my shoulders and grabbed my name tag because sometimes they'll b**** about me not wearing my name tag. "You dropping me off or I'm driving?" "Antonio, get these d*** keys and gon' about," She said, throwing the keys to her little speed boat car. "Thank you." I opened the door, locked it and unlocked the car to get in. I started the car and turned on the radio when the song "Friday Night'' by rich homie Quan came on. I pulled off and headed to my job. 15 minutes later…. I parked the car, pinned my tag on my shirt, switched my hat, changed my shoes, sat my bag underneath the seat and got out. I looked at the reflection of myself in the window to make sure a n**** look decent before heading inside. Before I could walk inside my bald headed boss stops me from the entrance crossing his arms with his pants almost touching his n*****s. "What now, boss?" "Forgetting something," he said, scrunching his eyebrows. "Naw, but are you?" "Mr.macey, please don't get your a** fired on the day before your off day." "No need for that." "Where's your mask?" "I forgot it at home." " no you didn't." He pulled a mask from his back pocket and handed me one. "Here, you better not forget this one." I took it from him and put it on so he can get his chubby a** out my face. "Happy now?" "Yes." He moved out the way to let me through and went back to his office in the back. I just shook my head and checked in. I went towards the window, put on the headset and waited until a consumer order. "Hey, grandson." " I turned back, seeing Ms. Maria standing there with her purse in her hand. Ms.mari is like a grandmother to me even though her grandson died from g*n violence she often says that I remind her of him in so many ways. "Hey, granny, how you doing?" "Tired and mo' tired." "I dig that." "How's rainy?" "She's doing good, you know she started high school." "That's good to know… tell her to call me when she gets a chance." "I will, baby, be safe now." "Yes, ma'am." I turned back towards the register and continued to wait. A car finally pulled up to the drive thru and sat there a couple minutes before calling out to the speaker. "Welcome to burger king.. how can I help you?" "Hold on, just give me five minutes because my sister acting slow, stupid, dumb and retarded." "Yeah, ma'am. 3 minutes later… "Sir, you still here." "I'm here, what yall getting?" "Lemme get a number three and a number 5 no ice on both coke and iced sweet tea." "Will that be all?" "Yes, sir." " Your total will be twenty dollars and nineteen cent pull up to numba' two shorty." She slid the money through the hole and in return I gave her a receipt. "Pull up to the door to get your food." "Okay." I grabbed the food, opened the door and walked her food to her and went back inside. I went to the restroom before walking back to my work area to wash my hands. After I finished I went directly to my place and continued to take orders until it was time for me to leave which was at nine o'clock. Nine o'clock on the spot….. I looked at the time on the screen, made sure everything was in its right place and checked out. I walked towards the car, got in, reached for my bag underneath the seat and switched my hat and shoes. I took my name tag off and safely put it in the glove compartment. I start the car and turn back on the radio, back the car up and drive off. Before heading on I stopped at a drugstore to get some snacks. I got out and went towards the chips and cookies and got a pack of oreos and hot chips along with a large mist tea bottle. I gathered my things and went up to the register. She ran my stuff with an attitude and ain't give no f***s about putting them in a bag. "You straight, luh' mama?" She looked at me then rolled her eyes before replying. "No, try working till the next day and finding out your s*** all in the streets when you get home." " look, though I don't know nothin' bout coming home seeing my s*** in the streets but I do know about working." " whea' you work at?" " burger king." " Do you know if they're hiring?" " Yeah, you can come whenever you please." " can you give me their number?" She gave me a pencil and paper to write the number down and handed me my stuff in a bag. " you welcome." "Thank you", she said, with a little laugh. " what's yo name?" " I'm amber." "Amber rose?" " I have hair, little boy." " Yeah, aight, shorty but I gotta go I'll see you when I see you." " You'll see me at your job ordering a burger." " fat a**." I exited out the door, cracked the car up and drove on to the house. I put all my things in my backpack and rushed inside the house because it started to rain as soon as I stepped out the door. I locked the door behind me and took my a** to my room. I took off my shoes and laid on the bed deciding on if I wanted to smoke or just chill out for the night. I just laid there for a couple minutes before getting up to go wash. I got up and went over to the bathroom. I took off everything and jumped in the shower to freshen up. After I washed myself, I got out, wrapped the towel around my hips and went towards my room to put on a pair of shorts and a wife beater. I grabbed my durag and put it on then laid back in bed to relax myself for the next day. I got up to close the door,slid a towel underneath the door and rolled my window up. I grabbed my w**d box from underneath the bed, rolled it up, turned off the lights and rolled my chair over by the window to smoke in. I listened to the owls make noises as I thought about life and how college would go for me later in life. It's so many things that I want to do in life but it's always something that comes up. I have things I also want to accomplish like starting a business or maybe becoming a judge and a wife with no kids s*** I'll be living that life soon. I put out the w**d and sprayed before heading to bed. I wrapped myself with my blanket , looked at the ceiling fan spinning clockwise and fell asleep. 6:15 am, Wednesday next day I stretched before getting out of this small a** bed. The more I sleep on this twin mattress the more my feet hang off touching the wall. I'm working on buying another set as soon as I get another paycheck. I slid on my socks and headed to the bathroom to get myself cleaned up. After handling my business I left the bathroom then went to my room. I turned on the light looking around the room for the TV remote. I turned it on and played "Differences" by Ginuwine as I got dressed. I threw on my Nike black sweats, black wife beater, black jacket along with my slides. I still smelled like w**d from last night so I mixed it with my polo fragrance. I took off my durag and replaced it with a black beanie. I went back to the bathroom to get my stud that I left in alcohol to get clean. I put it in it then my chain and headed back to my room. I turned off both TV and lights and hung my shoes around my neck while I slipped on my backpack and headed out. I walked to my destination instead of taking the bus to college because I needed to think. 8:00 am I went to professor Alvin's room and sat in the seat next to the door waiting patiently on him to give out instructions but instead he wanted to be petty. So I chose to ignore his time of the month by distracting myself with my lighter. As soon as the others got there they started chatting like a bunch of rats. He quiet them down and passes out a bunch of paper to fill out. I finished first and asked to go to the restroom. Surprisingly he said I could go. I walked out and went outside away from the school to smoke. I sat on this huge hill looking straight ahead at the school. I pulled out a sheet of paper from my backpack and pencil to draw while I smoke. After I finished drawing a beautiful portrait of the school I put out the w**d and went back inside. I opened the door and everybody stared as if something was wrong. I shut the door behind me not caring what nobody says or thought of me and sit back down in my seat. Professor Alvin glanced at me and continued to teach. He knew better ..because if he said something I was going to get right with his a**. 10:00 am I was now in professor Keith's room. I was distracted by the clock in Keith's class that I didn't realize he called me to come up to the board. I watched as someone else was called to the board to do a quick problem. I knew the problem but i was just stuck and my mind was in the clouds. I put my head down to take a nap. 10:50, I woke up seeing a paper in front of me and everyone doing their work. I rubbed my eyes and got to work. I finished by the time it hit twelve then turned it in. I can tell he wanted to say something but he thought before speaking which led him to not saying s*** to me. 12:00pm I decided to leave because I didn't have any classes to go to after professor Keith. That's usually an everyday thing especially on a Wednesday. I walked to my close friend Chelsea's house on the way home. "Yo, chee chee, you here?" "Nah." I saw her eye contact mine through the peephole then she unlocked it. We sat down on her red couch looking at the TV. "Long time no see." "My bad, I've just been doing me." "That's not an excuse, Antonio." She looked down on my left arm and saw it covered in tattoos but that's not the only thing tatted. I also have a building tattoo that says Memphis on my chest. " Look who decided to get all needle up," She said, rubbing on my arm. " I was going through a change." "OK, lover boy." " What's been up with you?" " You know, taking care of moms, making sure she's straight." I nodded slowly and looked deep into her eyes without saying anything. I saw a tear falling from her face. I wrapped my arms around her while she sank her body into mine and closed her eyes. " I just wished you were here to see her." "Me too." I kissed her forehead and laid my head on the arm of the couch while my arm was still wrapped around her. A few minutes later we fell into a deep sleep while the TV watched us. 7:00 pm I woke up before her and looked at the time on the TV. It was now 7. I put a blanket over her then left her house to walk to mine. I made it in then locked the door. I took my shoes from around my neck and sat them down by the couch along with my backpack. I went to the kitchen to wash my hands and put on some Ramen. I heard loud music coming from outside but didn't bother to look out the window to see who it was because it was my dad. My dad is the only n**** that be driving that old a** chevy bopping to 2pac extremely loud to when one point the cops were called. "What's going on, ant?" "Nothin'." " Then what did you want me for yesterday?" "It was something.. I forgot." I can tell he wasn't buying it. He went to their room to get a box then left right back out. I went back to the kitchen to stir the noodles up then went outside to smoke. I enjoy coming out to smoke while observing folks I had no clue about.. I may not know what be going on inside but I most definitely know what be going on outside. Folks like to tell others news like they are the news people. I keep up with a lot of things because I be out the majority of the time and listening. I took five puffs before releasing it. I went back inside to cut off the stove and top it off with the season and hot sauce. I poured out the water and put the rest in a cup so I could eat without messing up dishes. I scraped my cigarette on the concrete then closed the door. As I attempted to pick up my fork to eat I heard a car parked in our driveway. I sat my cup of noodles on the clear table and walked near the window to peep through the blinds. It was my ex siriesha getting out of the car holding a little dude in her arms. I flew opened the door and stop her before she stepped her size 10 on the porch. "What you doin' here?" " asking you for a place to stay." " you're not my problem anymore." She took a deep breath and slid little dude to her right hip. " can I at least come in for a while." "Nah, I have company." She looked at me frustrated then opened the back door to put little dude in then closed the door. She opened the driver's door to get in but I stopped her before she started the car. " bruh, come on." I guided her inside and made her take her shoes off at the front door. We sat down in the living room quietly until little dude broke the silence by asking for chips. I went into the kitchen to grab a bag of chips and a juice box from the fridge then gave it to him. " gon' in the kitchen with it." He got up then made his way to the kitchen. " What you really come here fo'?" "To get a DNA test for my Godson." " so, that ain't yours?" " no." She moves closer to me then whispers in my ear. "I've missed so much." I turn my head towards her and pull her on top of me. She laid me back closer to the arm then feels on my chest. I grabbed her neck as she bit her lips then kissed her neck. I heard footsteps creeping through the hallway and that's when she pulled away from me and acted like nothing happened. " I'm done." He squeezed his way in between us then rested his head on her shoulder. I turned on sponge Bob as we chill on the couch until she left. I went outside to walk around the block. My block ain't as dangerous as farther down. Our block is called " prime harlem" the most quiet block ever. But the farther block is called " harlem bake" the most dangerous block you can't get too comfortable around there. That's why I just stay around here without any trouble. We know each other and keep each other together around here. That's one of the main reasons I'm respected here because of the elders and young children. As I walked a few miles around the block I was stopped by a car. "You need a lift home?" "Nah, I can walk from here." The guy with the gapped tooth laughed with the others in the backseat. " White boy, get yo scary a** in this car." " I'm straight." He flicks a lit cigarette at me then speeds off disrespectfully. I dust the ash off my jacket and kept walking. As soon as I hit the next street I was coming out of my jacket wearing nothing but a wife beater. I slid my braids in my beanie and wiped my sweat on my beater. I was close to being home. I just had to walk an extra mile. I dragged my feet inside the house then laid on the couch. " Antonio, is that you?" " Yes, can you get a bottle of water from the fridge?" " sure." She walks in holding a bottle of water wrapped around a paper towel. She sat down next to me then turned on the TV to watch the news. " How was college?" " It went decent." " That's good, baby." She settled down in the seat then listened to the news. I got up, jogged to my room and took off the soak in sweat clothes and beenie then hopped in the shower. Fifteen minutes, I got out balling the clothes in my hand while walking towards my room. I sat them in my chair, slipped on my draws, jeans and a white Nike shirt. I tied my braids with a rubber band then turned on the TV watching the Jeffersons. 11:00pm I snuck inside my parents room to get a couple of twenties to buy cigarettes and w**d. The reason why I smoke so much is because I have a disability and I stress a lot. I'm thinking about quitting before starting my business after I graduate. I snuck out their room and asked mom for the keys. I closed the front door, walked near the car and got in. I closed the door then turned on " a gangsta's pain" by moneybagg yo then pulled off. After 10 minutes, I pulled up the window to get my cigarettes then drove off to Trent house. "Yo trent." " What's good, ton," he said, dappin me up. " How's mom?" " Straight, How's boo doing? I heard he got hit up. " He ain't doing good." " Sorry, bruh." " s***, I feel sorry my d*** self." He knocks on the door seeing a guy with a skin tight black security shirt handing him the bag of w**d. " here you go." I got it from him then slid him the money. " Nah, keep yo money. We family." I dapped him up then left the neighborhood. I pulled up to the house then sat there for a brief minute. I got out, walked in and gave my mom her keys. I took off my shirt as I entered my room then plopped down on the floor. I didn't bother to smoke so I slid it underneath my bed. I wrapped my arms around my knees and slid my head in between then closed my eyes. I should go see boo because ain't telling when I'm going to be able to see him again. Thursday, 5:00am I got out of bed to go smoke. I opened the back door half way because it was cold. I grabbed the kitchen chair, scooted it over by the door then plopped down. I slouched in the chair while looking down at the floor as I released the smoke from my nose and thought about boo. After it went out I tossed it in the trash then closed the backdoor and went back to my room. I closed the door and turned on the TV. I scrolled on YouTube and typed " Sure Thing" by Miguel and cleaned up my room. At this point I'm just doing stuff to get things off my mind even though I have work in a few hours. Boo is my blood. I don't care if we took DNA and it's come out to be not related. We grew up in the neighborhood called " richies". We fought together,played and put each other on with some fine a** females. He's the sibling I ain't never had because I'm the only child. We met in middle school and since then we've been rocking for 6 plus years. After I finished cleaning my room I got dressed to go see my homie. I snuck to get the keys, went out in the backdoor and made the move to the hospital. "Ma'am, I'm here for Tyrell davis." "What's your relations to Mr. Davis?" " his brother." "Room 244." I move away from the desk so the others can go next. I asked the gentleman by the elevator if he could help me find his room. "Excuse me,sir, do you know room 244 is located?" " oh you seeing boo too? " hell yeah that's my brother." " well come on then." I followed him to boo's room. He went in first then I went in behind him. Seeing him in the hospital bed just broke me down. I'm used to him smiling, laughing and cracking jokes. This person that I'm looking at now is not him. My n**** don't look like himself. " naw, man." I balled out crying as I got closer to him. " It's okay, bruh." " That ain't boo." He pulled me off the bed and pulled me by the door. I couldn't handle it. He had tubes in his mouth just laying there lifeless. I left his room to go smoke. I sat in the car with the door open and pulled out my bag of w**d from my pocket. I rolled it up, made sure it was licked right and lit it up. I turned on the radio then the song "my dawg" by T-rell came on. I just balled out because that's the song that was played at my homie funeral. D*** I missed my man red. By the time I finished I close the car door and head to my job. 7:00am I reached for my mask in the backseat, got out and proceeds to walk to the door entrance. "god d***." I opened the door and saw my boss walking his no wearing b*a a** over to me. " We go through this everyday, boss." " because n****s like you can't follow simple directions." " You must love seeing me." " You must love getting written up." " I just left the hospital and I didn't have time to get dressed." " well Mr. Davis you have a point there.. Next time get dressed. move" "gladly." I walked in the restroom before checking in to clean my face then leave to go check in. I went to the back to turn the radio on to some r&b. I guess r&b is something that grew on me early on in life hearing my mom singing her dear heart to Keyshia Cole, temptation, Bobby brown and the others. "Aye, where is granny?" "She's on vacation." I shrugged my shoulders and went to my work area. I slid on the clear gloves, hair net and prepared the fries 11:30am It was break time. I took off the gloves and hair net and tossed them in the trash. I checked out and left out to go next door to the subway. " Hey, little lady." " Antonio, don't start on this great Thursday." "I was just checking up on you che." " Whatever, lover boy," che said, as she hands me a foot long sandwich. " How'd you know I wanted a sandwich?" " I'll take it back then." " naw, I need this. I've been working and sweating. I need a little boost." She tapped on a female's shoulder and let her know to take her spot. She opened the door and joined me at a table. " you f****g that s**t up," che said, laughing. " why you tryna f**k with a n**** that's hungry." " cause you got food all over the table and I just cleaned this table." " clean it again." She rolled her eyes and kicked my leg. " clean yo motha table." " you really want yo no having a** beat." She gets up then turns around "this big Ole booty that you will never see a day in your life." " I've already seen it." "When." " through them tight a** see through khakis." " stop being a hater." "neva'." We talked throughout the day before it was time for me to leave to go back to work. I unlocked the door and sat my sandwich in the backseat then locked it. 9:00 pm I pulled up to the driveway and saw my mom crossing her arms. I got out and walked right past her without saying a word. I felt a present walking behind me and that's when I turned around and saw a hand come across my face. "F***!!!" " Boy watch yo mother f****g tone in my d*** house." " Sorry, ma." " Where have you been?" " work." She reached out her hand for the keys and left my room. I laid on the bed and closed my eyes. I heard a huge slam that means she left. " Antonio"! I got up, slipped my shoes on and answered the door. "What's up, siri?" " Do you know a place for me to go?" " Yeah, a shelter." " Antonio, this is not funny." I looked in her eyes then I tightened up and let her in. " What do you need a place fo'?" She teared up and zipped down her jacket. " Who baby is that?" " it's boo's."