I Wish

Chapter 16

I stood there for a couple of moments, I’ll admit that. Still crashing from the abrupt end of her touch, and pondering on if my pride would allow me to follow her or if I was going to figure out a way to walk my ass back home and deal with the fall out of that bad decision later. There was no doubt when it came to my ability to get home on my own, they were negligible. It didn’t matter if I felt gross and wanted a shower. Ivy talked about this sensation like it was something normal but it was such an iffy feeling that I wanted to go home and correct it. If this happened last time, I wouldn’t have noticed it. In the end, it was down to how heated my skin got and the tingly feeling that started low in my stomach, coupled with the wobbly feeling in my legs, had me cursing and following after her. I’ll admit it, I sort of thought I’d hold on to self-respect longer than that. There were... over a couple hundred people at this party, at least, and wasn’t that daunting? I mentioned the part where I hadn’t seen a stranger in person for over a year. Yes? Well, it was a lot more intimidating than I thought it was going to be, but I walked in anyway. It wasn’t like I had a choice if I didn't want to wander off on my own in a literally strange magical land. The closer I got, the more you could feel the music. It put some of the concerts I’d gone to as a kid to shame.

“Tomorrow is going to suck,” I muttered to myself in awe. It’s hard to describe, because it was so much more than anything I had ever heard before. The drumbeat pounded its way relentlessly into your blood, a pulse changing rock for you to cling to. String instruments scraped every nerve, singing so beautifully that it made me want to cry, and left a deep imprint long after the notes faded away to be replaced with the next. Flutes chimed, and their sounds danced through the wind. Leaving me shivering, and forgetting about how unnatural it felt to be standing in a crowd this big. The music was so all-encompassing, and it seemed to inspire all the people around me. Implanting an impulse to dance gracefully in a throng of tangled people spinning and twirling and somehow never faltering. Tomorrow... tomorrow was going to be ordinary, and after all of this? How on earth was I supposed to manage ordinary things? There was a downfall to putting this many people in one space though. The Summerlands delivered on their name and with all the people, talking-singing-laughing, only made it seem hotter and more humid. I started to get dizzy, and searched for Ivy.

“Nice to see you made it,” someone shouted near my ear. I turned to see Isaac standing there with a bright grin. Ivy had migrated the consequences of what he’d done but that still didn’t mean I was enthusiastic about staying to chat with him. I couldn’t see Ivy anywhere, and I didn’t know anybody else there. So I sort of had no choice but to talk to him.

“Yeah, it was touch and go for a minute there,” I said truthfully, struggling to make myself heard in the din. They laughed, and that I heard much easier, as they stepped closer to be heard more easily. I resented that when they did so they needed to lean down to shorten the height disparity.

“That close to ditching for your own little party of two?” they mocked teasingly. Even if we did, it certainly wasn't any of their business.

“This close to leaving her cocky ass here,” I replied, shaking my head, and struggling to focus. Something was off, it was like… like I wasn’t remembering what I was seeing properly. Somewhere while this was occurring to me, between one breath and the next, they’d started roaring with laughter. As if they thought I was the funniest thing they'd come across all week.

“Do it,” Isaac goaded, eyes bright with something that struck me as startling like madness, “And I will owe you any favour you could ask. It would be beyond worth anything you could ask to see the look on her face when she realises you have left.” Isaac seemed... incredibly enthusiastic about this. It was both enough to make me wonder if that had ever been a plan I should have considered, and alternatively glad that it appears I may have just found my ticket out of here. Should I have need of it? Maybe not, but it was a nice thing to have. The other thing that was incredibly unsettling was the way the people around us had started murmuring amongst themselves. Like we were something worth gossiping about. I wasn’t sure what got my hackles up about it, but I did not like the sheer dread that was circling me the longer it carried on.

“Mmm, I think I’ll save that as an option for later. You know, just in case she really sticks her foot in it,” I comment as casually as I’m able to while still having to shout, and begin to look for an out. There wasn’t one, the path I’d followed to get here shortly had been swallowed by the crowd.

“Anything I can do to assist,” they purred in delight, and I didn’t think he meant to assist me. I kind of got the feeling that they more likely meant the kind of assisting where they make sure I feel it’s necessary. Before I could think of another thing to say, a hand clamped around my wrist, and I was glad the noise around us swallowed the whimper.

“There you are,” she yelled with a bright smile, “I thought you were right behind me.” I snorted, and that - that was audible. Ivy’s grip tightened, and I looked at her. Then at my wrist, then back at her with my eyebrows raised. She paled rapidly and let go like she just realised she was holding a baby brown snake. Huh, okay. So that wasn’t the reaction that I was expecting from that. It was a lot like self-disgust, which was good because I was not putting up with that s**t.

“I’m washing off everywhere you’ve touched me,” I growled at her spitefully, despite that. It felt like someone was squeezing my heart wearing a Freddy Krueger glove, as the words left my mouth. I was determined to make that irrelevant, and didn’t take it back.

“If you think it hurts to talk about it, realise it’s going to be a lot worse when you do it for real,” she warned, and it was so quiet I almost didn’t hear her. I honestly think it would have been better if she was smug. Instead, it just sounded defeated. There were still too many people for me to find a concrete way out. Not to be disheartened, I kept scanning for one. Call me pessimistic, but I had a hunch that I had an epic storming away moment heading my way.

“You mistake me for someone who isn’t petty, and who cares,” I informed her shortly, before turning away. I really wanted the people around us to stop twirling quite so fast. The way they were all spinning had coloured spots joining them dancing in circles. Somewhere in all of this Isaac had melted away, retreating. I wasn’t sure what I had, when it came to throwing down, but I had a suspicion that they made the right choice. Blowing out a sigh and I started stalking off the way I thought she’d come. It required plenty of shoving, and less style than I would have liked, but what can you do? Refusing to pay attention to the way Ivy seemed to be able to breathe better, when I hadn’t taken the opportunity to demand loudly that I wanted to leave. I tried to figure out what exactly it was that stopped me from doing exactly that. Probably the part where I was in a crowd and nobody was getting arrested for lack of social distancing, or leaving home. Yesterday they ran a story about a bunch of teenagers who went to the beach. They were subsequently arrested, handcuffed, and fined a thousand bucks a pop…. For sneaking out after dark and going to the beach during lockdown. Maybe it was a good thing my family was camping out in the sticks.

“Rose,” a girl shouted brightly, and I started. Having to re-remember that Rose was my name now. I’ll admit that sucked for Ivy, because a reminder of other things I was mad at her for was not helping her case any whatsoever. I didn’t know the chick who was calling me, but she was gesturing to me, so I was ninety percent sure that it was definitely me. It helped that her friends were all yelling Ivy’s reinvention of my name, or a variation of it. I must say I liked Rosie better. It sounded less… stiff, maybe? I wasn’t sure, but the people in between us seemed to melt now that they were acknowledging me, so I strolled after them. A sullen and surprisingly meek Ivy was trailing behind me. Good, I thought savagely. The song in the background started to come to a close. The group I was folded into easily included twenty people, with only slightly more girls than boys, which was as if we were all old friends that hadn’t seen each other in forever. As if they knew all about me, and I wasn’t sure how I liked that. I just didn’t want to admit that it made it feel less special when Ivy does it.

“You been talking me up?” I asked Ivy, nudging her with my shoulder when she caught up. Figuring that it had to be why they knew so much, and to be honest, wanting it to be like that, because if they all picked it up from her, then I got to keep that fluttering tingly feeling that knowledge gave.

“Something like that,” she offered stiffly in response. I hope that attitude is because she wasn’t keen on admitting that in front of people. The others all seemed to think that this was funny. So that was more than likely the case. It didn’t mean I wasn’t mad at her, because I was going to have to multitask if I wanted to hold a conversation while I was busy fuming. Ivy's the one that grabbed me and now she’s the one acting all sullen and sulky? Nuh-uh.

“Sure,” one of them giggled, tucking short blonde hair behind her ear, “It's your turn to pick the song.” Okay, but I didn’t know any songs that they did… well I assume, but really I know enough about this place that they could all be bopping along to - I don’t know, Taylor Swift or something on the regular. They did seem the type.

“I don’t know if I know any songs from around here,” I replied quickly, hoping to deflect. Damn it, I came here to talk to people, and possibly make Ivy jealous, but I wasn’t going to admit to that.

“Doesn’t matter, just sing any song,” another person retorted just as quickly. They were very enthusiastic about it all, and I was very put on the spot. Ivy looked at me, crossing her arms. Almost as if to say ‘Go on, I dare you.’ I don’t know if I was imagining it but it felt like she’d win if I didn’t. Something that, right now, I was not in any way okay with. So I opened my mouth feeling as if my stomach was about to swallow me whole, and entirely unsure of my own ability, belted out the first thing that came to mind. I can't remember who had been obsessed with The Kissing Booth, but at least the soundtrack was good.

‘Hey! Heart beat. Rewind. Turned up amplified. We can do it how we like. Whoa oh oh.’