Things I couldn't say

Mica I carefully removed my red notepad and the black pen Nina gave me in class today from my bag pack with was already on my bed. I opened the first page and I started tearing up. I blinked and smiled at nothing in particular. All I could think of was progress no matter how little every step counts. I flipped the first ten pages and a blank page stared back at me. It was a poem I've always wanted to write but no line starter ever fitted it. I titled it “Things I couldn't say” and just like the title I didn't have the words. My best friend Nina who's always the first to read my piece told me the best way to write is to start writing so I was determined to at least write one or two lines a day. Foot steps approaching followed by arguments and then a moment of silence. Mom and Dad knocked at my door and honestly I would have pretended to be asleep but my lights were still on. ‘come in the door is open’. hey princess how was school today Dad asked as mom was trying to fake a smile. My day was ok I muttered, actually it might have just been a bit better if you guys could stay a day without fighting or arguing about the tinest things. Mom rolled her eyes “look baby it's really not that easy but I promise you all of this will stop real soon” and how soon is ‘soon’. Dad brushed my hair with his fingers and said I don't know if this is a good one bad news but I and Mara are getting divorced. The news came as a shock and I slowly got down from my bed in a manner showing that I demanded an explanation. “look baby, this would have happened sooner or later, it's the best option we just have to do what's best and stop living as a fake Happy family. Miles will occasionally come to visit you and you can always phone him if you need him. It's no biggie”. “What do you mean by its not a big deal, You just told your only child that her parents are getting divorced and your last comforting words are ‘it's no biggie’ like are you for real”. “Ooh please cut off with the act and stop acting like you the good cop. We won't be in this mess if and only if you were more available for your wife and your only child but no you be going from one business trip to another even when you are fully aware that your daughter needs you.”. “So when Mica needs me when I'm obviously not around where is her mom, no where is she? Let me remind you in case you've forgotten that you go for night shifts fully aware that you've got a fifteen year old teenage girl at home. What kind of a person are you? u've already failed at being a good wife why not try to be a good mother for a change”. With that mom rose her hands at Dad and he angrily bashed out of the room. Mom what was that for? She walked up to me trying to hug me and I wondered what difference it would make so I shifted and layed back on my bed. Goodnight Mom shut the door when you go out and for like five minutes I thought my parents would be able to stay under the same roof alone for a change but those where one of the times I was wrong. *** I found warmth in the arms of a friend while my parents fought over who was a worst parent. Little happy moments were washed by a news that was nonchalantly delivered. Words were exchanged and even hands were raised when encouragement and unity were starving. A lot to say but there are things I can't just say. would wishing I had better parents change how my life is being played or are some of us just unlucky