Not Good For You
1069 Words
Chapter 8
Graham's POV
She didn’t say anything at first. Just stared. Those wide, mesmerizing eyes pinning me like she was waiting for me to break.
That silence hit harder than if she’d shouted. My grip on the wheel tightened.
If I let go, I’d reach for her. Drag her across the console. Kiss her until we forgot why we couldn’t.
“This has to stop,” I said again, final. More to myself than to her.
Her throat moved. Still no words.
She just sat there, reading me like a book I never meant to open. And damn it, she didn’t even know how much she already had me figured out.
“You’re about to graduate,” I forced out, trying to sound sane.
“You’ve got your whole life in front of you. Big things. Dreams to chase. You don’t need to get tied up with-” I almost choked on it. “-an old man who can’t even take you to dinner without hiding.”
Old man.
The words tasted wrong. I wasn’t that to her, and we both knew it. But I needed a wall between us, even if it was made of lies.
Her lips parted. For a second I thought she’d cut me down, push me, tempt me.
God, I wanted her to. I wanted her to fight me. I wanted a reason to lose control.
But she didn’t. Just nodded, sharp, and turned her face to the window.
That small motion cracked something in me.
What was it about this girl? Barely Forty-eight hours and she was in my head like she’d been born there.
I should’ve been able to shove this down. I couldn’t.
I started the engine just to fill the silence. Drove with my jaw locked, knuckles white on the wheel.
Every move she made burned into me. Her legs tucked under her. Arms folded tight across her chest. Her curls falling forward, full lips pressed together.
She wasn’t going to make me choose. She left that on me. And it ripped me apart.
When she opened the door and slid out, she didn’t look back. Not once.
I sat there long after she was gone. Her scent lingering in the car, torturing me. Pulse still hammering. Body begging.
Heart whispering the truth I couldn’t let out.
Stopping was the right thing to do.
So why did it feel like I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life?
Six weeks later, Alesha’s graduation was behind us. Now it was Janessa’s turn.
Monique, Alesha, Janessa and I all flew out together. Ivette couldn’t make it- some work emergency.
The sun hit the stage, glinting off caps and gowns. Janessa walked across, chin high, shoulders squared.
My chest swelled with something I had no right to feel. Pride. Desire. Longing.
And I swear she looked through the crowd and locked eyes with me. Just for a heartbeat, like she wanted me to see her shine.
When they called her name and she accepted that diploma, I actually clapped too hard.
Alesha laughed and elbowed me. “Calm down, Dad. You look prouder than the Dean.”
I forced a laugh. “What? This is a proud Dad moment. That's my girl. She worked for it.”
Worked for it. God, if only they knew how hard she worked in my dreams too. How much she already lived in my head.
After the ceremony, the crowd spilled out like a wave. Alesha and Janessa flung into each other's arms.
“Congratulations, Queen! You’re finally a graduate!”
Janessa laughed, hugging her tight.
That laugh punched through me, warm and dangerous. Like it was stitched to my ribs.
Monique snapped pictures like her life depended on it. Pulling them both into frame. Then she waved me over.
“Graham, get in here!”
“I don’t think-” I started, but Alesha was already tugging at my arm.
“Dad, come on!”
I stepped in, standing just behind Janessa as the camera flashed.
She leaned into Alesha, but her shoulder brushed mine- light, accidental. Enough to send a jolt down my spine.
When Monique lowered the camera, Janessa turned slightly, her eyes catching mine. Blank and lingering.
“Congrats, kid,” I managed, voice rough.
“Thanks… Mr. Caldwell.”
The formality sliced me.
We drifted as a group through the campus green. Alesha chattered nonstop about post-grad plans.
Monique darted around trying to find the best light for pictures.
Janessa walked quietly beside me, arms full of flowers. Gown fluttering in the breeze.
Every now and then her hand brushed mine in the crowd. Small, nothing, but enough to brand me.
I slipped into the father figure role. Carrying bags. Offering her water. Cracking a joke about her cap sitting crooked.
She smiled, soft, almost hidden, and it nearly undid me.
Maybe, I thought, maybe this is enough. Maybe if I just keep quiet, keep close, play my role, I’ll survive.
Then he showed up.
A slim dark guy. In a sharp tailored suit, grinning wide. Calling her name.
“Janessa!”
Her whole face lit up when she saw him. She actually ran a few steps, flowers bouncing in her arms.
He caught her. Pulled her in. Pressed a kiss to her cheek. Then her lips- quick, sure, casual. Like it wasn’t a crime in broad daylight.
My gut turned to stone. My fists curled so tight I felt my nails dig crescents into my palms.
Janessa didn’t pull away. She laughed, swatting at him, “You made it!”
“Of course I made it,” he said, brushing her curls back, looking at her like she was his. “Wouldn’t miss my girl’s big day.”
My girl.
The words rang in my ears like a gunshot.
Monique squealed, “Ooooh, so this is him!” snapping another picture.
Alesha clapped like she was in on the secret.
I just stood there. Jaw locked. Pulse drumming in my ears. Pretending calm while inside, every part of me screamed.
Janessa’s hand slipped into his. She smiled up at him, glowing, and for the first time today, I couldn’t look at her.
I swallowed and forced my voice to be steady.
“Who is he?” I asked Alesha.
She blinked at me like I was slow. “Her boyfriend, Dad.”
Boyfriend.
The word gutted me clean open.
- Writer
