Fated Or Doomed

My Own Darkness

Liv

I can’t explain the wrenching pain I feel at this moment. I thought I could do it. That I can be strong. Do better and over come it all. For myself at least.

I was doing good. I was doing so good, I thought.

I held in any anger that tried to lash out. But my mate and his temper did that. I was good. I said what had to be said. Alpha Stan nodded in a smile at the end. As if that made all the insults better.

But then they brought out the truth. I heard those same words growing up. It didn’t matter from whom lips. Those words live in my head forever. Even up to today I still have nightmares containing those words. Even flashes of what corruptions my dark side can do.

And some times. When I feel too much. Too much of me. Less of the Sage’s weak 6 year old daughter. I sense the dark alluring in me. I can’t lie and say I hate it. I like it. But then I fear if I like it too much. What’s to become of me than?

All the things they say seems too real. My biggest fear is my greatest failure. To my mate, my family, my pack, friends, coven, and truly my Goddess.

The hell to myself. I knew I wasn’t worth it. I knew I should of just stayed home that night.

My heart collapsed the moment I realize I had to give them better. I knew they wouldn’t let me if I said so. I can’t see the belief they had for us. I had to force it. And when they call for me. Chasing the car down the road.

My heart drop so far down. It stop completely.

With tears down my face. I bang on my steering wheel. Hating myself for being too selfish and giving in to this mate s**t. It was all my fault. I allow for this to happen. And now I’ve destroyed it all. Like everything else. My pure existence destroys it all.

“Why the hell did you do this do me!” I shouted to Moon Goddess.

“I thought we were your children. Why would you pick us? Did you wanted to hurt me too?”

Of course no answer.

“God damn it! I gave them my soul Goddess. You wanted me to believe in love, in mates, and family again. Well now it’s all gone because I believed. What was the point if I had to live alone at the end!” I shouted again.

“Aahhh, It’s all f*****g gone!” I hit the horn that beeps loud into the sky. And I swear I heard a wolf in the distance.

I swallow a sob. “I believed in it all. I gave it my all. But I was too damage. Wasn’t I?”

I look up and see the moon shine bright. “I could never be loved. I’m just not meant to. Not true love.”

It was just in the fairytales Father will read to Mery and I. Those are the closest I would get. That I know now.

I pray to Moon Goddess to seek some kind of worth. To shine over my mate at my time away. And if I have to part forever. To ease them into the she wolf he was meant to have. Drown me in the sorrow we both endure. I will walk this realm with the last piece of our love. I will forever brand their love. Even when their mark fades to her.

After a while of driving I finally made it to the one spot I could think of. I silent my phone. And just drove. By the time I got to my location. It was dark over shadowing me now.

The many steps up the stairs felt like forever. Pulling myself over each one. I make it to a door I have not seen in sometime. One knock and the door sprang open.

“Elizabeth?” Her voice said in shook.

I said nothing but take a deep breath. Tears still running down my face. She gave me a half smile. She looks over the entrance and sees I’m alone.

“Come inside Liv it’s windy.” She gestures for me to enter.

I walk in and pause just a few steps. I had no plan but to get far away. The road just lead me to Connie.

“What happen? Is everyone okay?” She search my eyes. When she grabbed onto my arms. I suck in some air. Her hands glow a spark and she lets go. She felt my sadness through our friendship bond we created.

Connie dragged me to sit on the couch. I begin to tell her everything. I spit out my guts to her. At times she will wipe her eyes at my words. She tries to hold me but I pull. I didn’t feel like I deserve a hug over this. I only deserve the pain I have cause.

“Oh Elizabeth. I’m sorry you two broke up.” She mutters little words to me with a light hand squeeze.

I knew she was trying some comfort magic. But it didn’t work. My pain was too deep. It will scar.

“It may be best. I was just ruining everything.”

“Want to eat ice cream? Order some food? How about pasta and watch movies?” She asked.

“I want to sleep Connie.” I said in a raspy voice.

“Maybe just ice cream then?”

“Sure.” My gaze dripped down as I nod to her.

Connie got up to grab some ice cream. But when she had return from the kitchen. She found me laid up in her bed. Holding a fluffy heart shape pillow.

In seconds I felt her join me. She laid side ways and comb my hair. I weep into the pillow.

“We’ll sleep. I’ll be here Liv. I’ll make sure you’re okay. I got you.” She whispers.

“Connie?” She hums to me. “Will you call me Elizabeth while I’m here?” I asked. I just wanted to feel like it’s them saying my name. Their voice was still rattling in my head.

“Get some sleep Elizabeth.” She coos as she pulls the blanket over us.

I close my eyes and push my body into hers. She holds my waist as we begin to fall asleep.

“Goodnight boys. I love you.” I whispered softly to myself.

I don’t know if it was Connie whispering back. Or what. But I swear I heard my mate’s voice whisper back to me before my body went limp.

“Goodnight my witch. We love you.”

Morning

I woke up to the sun shining. I still feel my heart ache. So I closed my eyes again. Letting my pain take me away.

After another 2 hours I woke up again. I flutter my eyes and wipe the dry tears away. Yet a few fresh one still drip down.

I look over to see my phone. I push it aside. I don’t even want to see the millions of calls or text I know my mates send.

I got up to look around. I see Connie in the kitchen dancing to music. The air smells good and I slump my body towards her. She doesn’t hear me.

“Connie?” The sound to my voice spooks her.

“Ah Liv!” She looks around oddly and smiles. “How are you feeling? Are you hungry?”

I lean over the counter top. And shook my head.

*Loud noise from bathroom*

Just then I hear a door open down the hall. I can hear someone coming out the bathroom. My head snaps back and forth. I hold my stomach. I look back at Connie. A glimpse of fear took over me.

“Liv no. It’s just..”

“Why would you call them! I don’t want go back! I can’t Connie! I can’t! They’ll force me back to just kill everyone! I’m damage, I can’t without..”

“Elizabeth Marshall.” A male voice call. And my body froze on spot. I couldn’t even make myself turn to see his face. I just couldn’t.

.

.

Mason

I heard the yelling and then tires screeching down the road. I see in the distance Malcolm chasing after a car. Oliver and I both knew. It had to be Liv.

Every nerve in my body told me to run. So I did. After a while Malcolm stopped and I catch up to Travis kneeling in the middle of the road. I panted in air, grabbing his shoulders.

“Travis what happen? Where is Liv going? The threat? Travis? Travis?” Anything I said didn’t get a respond out of him.

I wave my hand over his face. He mumble words over words. I turn to look down the road once Travis let out a howl. I kneel on one leg. Searching his eyes.

“Travis?” I asked.

His eyes moved. Looked right at me. My head went back. And his face harden. “Get everyone. I want everyone out there now. No one harms her. She coming back now! I don’t care what the f**k she has to say but get her the f**k back here now!” He stood up quick and I did too.

He tries to turn back to the pack house. I jump in front of him. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. What the hell happen?”

“She f*****g left what do you think. She’s out there alone! She’ll keep driving to God knows where until we get out there now and follow her.” He gets in my face. “Get the warriors and go get Luna back home Beta. NOW!!”

My insides telling me something bigger happen. Travis wouldn’t be like this over just some disagreement with Liv. And I now know I wouldn’t find out why. Not when he’s like this.

“Whatever happen she’s not just gonna take off..”

“You won’t there! You don’t know what she said to us! We need.. I ne..” He growls under his breath and walks down the road where her car drove off. Stopping just a foot away. “I’m not losing her Beta. We’re losing time as we speak.”

“It’s Liv, Travis. She wouldn’t just leave the state, little long more then a few hours out.” He doesn’t turn but roll his fist. “She might just need to drive into the woods. Talk to Moon Goddess or something. It’s Liv remember.”

Again he said nothing. A minute goes by and I worry for them both.

“Give her the morning. If she’s not here.” A rumble of rage bubble out his chest. The mention of Liv not returning hits him hard.

“I’ll rally up the groups. And check in after each checkpoint. Only when we give her the morning.” I tell him.

Travis’s head dropped. I walk closer and he flinch to my touch. “She’s coming home. Elizabeth will come back to me. She’s coming back.” He whisper again and again.

The look in his eyes said otherwise. I look up to where he looked. And something told me she needed this night. Before Travis gets his hands on her. It wasn’t threatening. But it was bad. For them both. It was a gut feeling.

The sun set and rose. I walked out to be inform Alpha has moved from his spot. I looked over a Delta’s shoulder. Seeing Travis gone. They said he stayed there for hours as if Liv’s car will drive back up at any moment. I knew it wasn’t. I called Liv. Again and again. I tried leaving a message but it was full after 4. Travis probably tried all night and had no luck.

“Where is he now?”

He tells me Alpha slept in the woods. They sent 3 Deltas out to look. And when they found him. Alpha only growl at their presence. He attack one Delta. And again this morning. Both Deltas are in the clinic.

I told the Delta to go on his days. Leave Alpha to me. I also tell him to keep his link open. I may need him to get a group together soon.

“We got to get him inside. Off the ground. We need to get Liv. Us.” Oliver say.

I nod and slowly make my way to Travis. It took some time but I found him.

“Of course he’d be at her spot.”

We found Travis by that odd looking tree. The same one we found Liv the last time. It seems to be her thing. We always found her here or by the lake.

“Be careful.” Oliver warns me.

I take a few breaths and walk a few feet to him. His head creaks from the branches breaking under my feet. “Mason?” He sense it was me. “Is she here? Is Elizabeth home?” He says in a low mournful tone.

I swallow my tongue. Knowing what the next move will be. But she may still need time. She might be heading back now.

“Why don’t we go inside Travis. Eat something. We can call and..”

He punches the ground and it shook a bit. “No! I’m not going back unless she is!” I heard a crack and the smell of blood.

I figured. “Travis what happen? Wha..”

“Doesn’t f*****g matter. Elizabeth is gone and we need to get her back before..” He pauses and just grunts to himself. He didn’t seem okay.

“Not even close.”

“Look man. Why don’t we go to the study and drink it out.” I suggested. “We need to get you ins..”

“No Beta!” He spoke now in a loud steady voice. It oddly didn’t even sound like him. “We need to go out and get her.”

“Travis.” I took a few steps closer and he got up quick to pin me to the tree. I fight him off. Only for him to throw me through the crack tree stump.

I panted and slowly got up. Starting up my sentences again. “Liv will be back. Let her be. Give her time and..”

Again he came at me. He roll my collar in his fist. I stood inches to his face. His eyes glowed. Bearing his teeth at me. I kept my face firm as I look into them. I saw the pain of loss. It was plainly there.

“Do your f*****g job and go get Elizabeth back now. If someone else gets her before us and..”

“No one will hurt her. You know I wouldn’t let that happen.” I admitted to him.

He lets go. And I fix my collar. “Then bring her back to me.” I confirm with a yes Alpha. And as I walk away he calls me softly. “Call me every hour Beta.”

“Yes Alpha.”

I left to get the groups. We had four groups lines up. Gamma took 3 men with her. Kan took 4. I put our best searcher in one groups. And the last group were me and 2 witch trackers.

Everyone had their spots and headed out. And just when I was about to leave. I get a call. I ignore her first few calls last night. She texted me right when the sun hit. But I deleted it. Now she calls me again.

Buzz Buzz

Text: Connie

Pick up the f*****g phone dumbass!!!!

Again she calls me. I grind me teeth while I proceed to just answer.

“What woman! I’m working!”

“Shut the f**k up you dumbass!” I huffed loudly.

“Connie I can’t deal with your s**t right now. Liv is missing and Travis ordered a sea..”

“Liv is with me.” I sigh in relief. “Don’t tell anyone. Just come over. Now.”

“I’m coming.”

As the other groups already gone. I order mine to head out without me. I tell them I’ll meet up later. They didn’t question me. With that. No hesitation I headed to Connie’s new apartment she just moved in the other month.

“Let’s get liv back.”

I speed down the road. Getting there faster than expected. I ran out the car and up the stairs. I knock quick and breathe out my chest.

Connie opens the door to only push me out. I shove her hand away. But before I can say a word she explains.

“Just calm down Mason. She’s here but asleep right now.” I try to look inside but couldn’t.

“Connie let me talk to her! I have to..” I yelled. Mix of emotions flows out. “How bad is..” I choke a bit. And Connie grips my hand. Guiding me to just breathe.

“They broke up.” My eyes widen to the words.

Broke up!

“The meeting didn’t end well. And she hit her breaking point. Travis wants to give up everything but she loves him too much. She’s in a bad place right now. You called it Mason. Her mind was just telling her the things again.” She explained.

I thought it through a second. “I didn’t want to be right. I thought with them together that maybe..” I looked at Connie’s face. It told me everything.

“She’ll be up soon.” Nodding for me to enter.

We waited for over an hour and she was still asleep. I thought she would awake when Connie and I argue a bit. I restrain as I grab her wrist, baring my canines at her. She gasp in anger, “No! Stop it Oliver! It hurt the last time.” Truth be told Oliver just nibbled her.

Letting her go, I went to sense if Liv was still asleep. I could see the wet tears fall down over the dry ones. Liv cried in her sleep. It broke my heart to know I push them together. Just to have them both broken in the end.

I really thought with the bond and all. With their differences and similarities that they’ll make it. With everything they’ve been through they would be able to make it.

“They still can. Maybe this is..”

“Just stop Oliver. We can’t...”I sigh in defeat of emotions.

“Let’s hear her out. You know they’re meant to be.”

“Liv needs to be okay first. Otherwise she will keep running from Travis. This has to be worst then..”

“Don’t say his f*****g name!”

I sigh under my breath. Looking over my shoulder to see Liv sleep. I sat and drank my coffee.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. She just showed up and she never stopped crying.”

“No you did good Connie.” She didn’t come to me for a reason. “I’m gonna go.. Um.. I’ll be back.” Pointing to the bathroom.

I take my time. Talking to myself on how to proceed this situation. She needs tough love and comfort at the same time. I want to yell at her and soothe Liv too. Either way, I’ll just listen and hold her. Be her best friend.

I splash some water on my face and looked at my phone. I texted Travis a false update. And then headed my way out the door. I hear shouting and when I came to the kitchen’s light.

“Elizabeth Marshall.” She stops in place. Waving Connie’s hands away. I take a step and she turns.

Her face drips down. She steps back with fear in her eyes.

“Eliza..”

“No, no, no Mason! You can’t. I can’t go back. Not yet. Please don’t make..” Pleading me.

I got close to her as much as she’ll let me. “No Elizabeth. I came for you.”

“I know but don’t Mason. Oliver please I..”

“Elizabeth listen to Mason. He’s helping.” I turn my eyes to Connie. She calls Liv by her name when she’s in need of comfort more than usual.

“Mason?” She says weary.

I drop my arms and nod to her. She cries and I take one huge step to grab her. She cries. She cries so much it grew heavy on my heart. When she’s calmer. She explains it all. The Councils, the triggers, warnings, nightmares. She explains how prefect life with Travis is. But how unfulfilled her love for them are. That she only fills it of darkness than the hope of light they claim.

“Listen to me..” I said softly.

“No Mason you don’t get it. I love them so much I rather give it all up. I have too much dark clouds and all that s**t. I can’t fix it.”

“They’ll do the same. They love you. I have never seen them like this with anyone.” I explain.

“They need more then just a mate. I can’t give them even a glimpse of what I promise.”

“Hey stop it.” I tell her. “You are more than anyone has ever think of. And they see that. You’ve been through so such and I..”

“I give up every time.” She gasp.

Connie looks at me. And we both had the same face.

“They’re all right. I can’t do it. I want to. So bad I wanted to. You both helped me. Travis has only been more than life. But every time I give my all. I’m drain. I’m so f*****g drain that I can’t breathe. My biggest fear is a life I took from them. All because I love them. They can do better without me. I’m not this person I’ve been lately. I just.. I need answers that I won’t f**k it up. But all I get is nothing. I’m close though.” She looks up in hoped tears.

“There’s something I felt but its just not enough for me to risk their life. So..” She looks out the window. “Don’t take me back home. I know he told you to come get me but..”

I suck my teeth and shook my head. “They ordered a search. But they don’t know I’m here with you now. And I’m not gonna tell them.”

Liv looks at me confuse. And then smiles. “I didn’t want to. I had to. I had to leave. I was causing a mess.”

“Elizabeth we both love you. And since we all met. We both have been over protective with you.” Connie says.

“I know. I push you both away many times. I’m sorry I’m so much to handle. But please know I’m so happy you two never left.” She thanks us.

“You know Travis is just the same. You have a long line of making people love you.” Connie says. But it only made Liv sadder. I angrily glare at her.

“You know, I never thought I would relay on anyone to protect you then me. But after meeting Connie and s**t. I started trusting her with you and now I will die for you both. I have 3 amazing people in my life.” I don’t say the third person name.

“You two hated each other the first few months.” She chuckles.

“Haven’t you met Connie. She’s a handful herself. How could I trust her with my baby sister?” I joke, kinda. And Liv agrees.

“Hey what the hell.” Connie pouted.

“That Summer we all went out. I went off on Connie. I told her that out of everyone I hate. I have no problem than to bury her body for ever abandoning you. That I will hunt everyone in her family if she hurts you in anyway.” I tell her.

“I laugh at his threat.” Connie say. “I told him the same thing. Saying. Out of everyone that hurt you in the past. I know I can’t trust a wolf with your heart. I knew about him. And the moment he puts his pack or anyone before you. I will hex his whole bloodline for even making you think less of yourself. Just one tear you cry because of them and I’ll burn all the fur off their bodies.”

“I never thought the girl you met in 8th grade will have the same impact on me.” I smile at them both.

“You two still fought after that. It wasn’t until school start you got along.”

True.

“We did. You put us through tests. And we did too. We just realize fighting for you was what brought us to stop. And now..” Connie smiles and I held both their hands.

“We’re here. Family. Over anything and anyone. I’m here for you girls.” I said proudly.

“I love you guys.” Liv says. We replied back. Embracing a huge hug.

“Plus we stop after we hooked up that year.” Connie said.

“Oh God don’t start.” Liv push us away.

“Well there was that one time we got stood up for a double date and we just..”

“No stop.” Liv shouted.

“I’m just putting it out there that even after the fighting and hovering. Meaningless s*x before and after things are different with Mason and I. But our feelings for you didn’t. It wasn’t just the sex.”

“I recall walking in on you two.” Liv smiles.

“The only time I didn’t mind being woken up. Even with water thrown at me.” Both Liv and Connie laughed it off. I only rolled my eyes.

“It wasn’t even the first time I caught you two.”

“Just be glad we finish each time.” Liv gag.

“Why do you have to speak?” I say. “And you encourage her.” I pointed out. But that only made them laugh more.

“Hey she was smiling for a bit.”

“Whatever but hey.” Connie chuckles. “Who knew a wolf and two witches will make the best little pack.”

I nod. I hate to say it but she was right. “All right.” Taking their hands again.

“Things change guys. Plans change. You two should just go on. I’m gonna deal with my s**t alone. I have to.”

“Things did change. We’re not kids anymore. Fairytales aren’t real. But we can make it as real as possible. And we are Elizabeth.” I say proudly.

“The last few months have been insane. Never will I think our year after high school will be this. But it’s been great. We’re doing great. We’re growing our own pace. Learning, failing, we’re doing it all. With each other still here.” I tell them both.

“Even with less people than we thought?” She ask.

“Of course.” Connie said.

“But the pack. Mason?” Turning from me to Connie. “The coven can’t.. What am I gonna do?”

“It’s not time to worry about that.” I shook my head.

“You need to be with Travis, Mason.” She gave me a concern look. She worries her absence.

“I will. I promise you both I will. And just like you ask me that impossible question. I will do whatever for any of you. I don’t care if I have to lose my title to gain another. I don’t care if I have to leave a life I grew in for a better one with you. I made promises and in any way I will keep them.” Again I promise them both.

“I’m sorry for ever failing you both.”

“You never do Liv.” Connie says as Liv rest her head on her.

“You are the strongest fieriest person in the world. The darkness doesn’t define you. You are that light after a very long trail of a tunnel. You made us the stars. You didn’t need us Elizabeth. We needed you.” I added on.

Connie brushes her hair down. “It will be us Elizabeth. Me, you, and Mason.”

With that. Liv reach out her hand. And I allow her to pull me in. And for the last few time I had. I stayed there with my girls. My sisters.

And yes I do mean Connie too. Ignore the past we had. We won’t close like now. It was a weak moment. Or moments. But now. They’re family. And family protects each other. Even from themselves and other family members.