I sat on my couch and scrolled through the listings Tony had sent me over the past couple of weeks. I was hesitant to go, I grew to love this apartment. I had been here for 6 years and wanted to stay another 6 even if it wasn’t the most glamorous place. Every single one he has sent was expensive, all of them looked pretty much the same. Open style kitchen and living rooms, huge master bedrooms with a two to three additional bedrooms, huge closets and granite countertops. I hate granite countertops. They always seemed so cliche to me, but he was a lawyer after all. All the parties we went to at his friend’s houses had granite countertops tops. In fact all the significant others looked the same too now that I think about, makes me giggle. When we first met he was in college getting his degree living in a dorm smaller than my living room. I chose not to go to college, after excelling in highschool I decided to take a year hiatus. Honestly it was amazing choice, I actually learned who the real me was. As I mindlessly whipped through pictures I get interrupted by a FaceTime with my mom.
“Ashley what are you doing honey?” She sang to me. She looked all dolled up, after leaving dad she always looked like at any moment she had some special thing to attend.
“Nothing mom,” I sighed in boredom, “just going through these listings Tony has sent. Why is everything granite? Must everything be granite?” She rolled her eyes, then looked at me through her eye lashes.
“You need to be thankful that you have someone who actually wants to build a future. I remember when you wouldn’t even give anyone the light of day.”
“Mom, you know dad would have done everything and anything for you-“ she cut me off
“Oh like f*****g Linda?!” We sat in silence for a second her brows furrowed and began to relax.
“Sorry honey, you’d think I’d get over it after all these years… anyways back to you. Are you going to give him an answer to the apartment soon?” I stood up from the couch and started pacing at her question.
“ it’s just scary to think about, we move into this luxurious apartment then what?! Marriage, house, kids? Oh god I’m not old enough for kids! I call you on a regular basis to remember how to breathe! Mom this is too much, plus it won’t be just mine. He will have everything in his name, if things don’t work out I’m left with nothing.” I begin to pace faster.
“It’s just an apartment Ashley.” I stop pacing to look into the phone, “it seems more than just an apartment mom. I love him yes, but I’m not sure I’m ready for this.” My mom sighs and rubs her brow gently, “You’ll be fine just take a breath-“ I interrupt her “see! I can’t breathe!”
“You are doing just fine, anyways I have a date with Greg, I love you!”
“Love you too mom.” I press the red button and the listings flash back on my phone.
“It’s only an apartment,” I whisper to myself, “only an apartment.”