Manner Of Death English Translation

Chapter 17

It's my last day of school.

"Tann, are you really going to drop out of college?" Tang asks me, a teaching nurse, with a disappointing look on her face. "Without you we won't have a pretty boy to look at. Nothing is going to rejuvenate our old souls."

I laughed at her joke as I prepared the necessary tools for an old lady's blood test. "Am I really a pretty boy?"

"What? Of course you are! You are a rare gem. A handsome, manly young man like you is hard to find." I react to the word 'manly'. I'm not saying the opposite: I'm manly but I like men. "Why don't you finish your degree? You're in 3rd year, you only have one year left. Won't you regret it?" Tang places a piece of cotton wool and a band-aid over the blood collection area.

"I really have to. In a year, my mother's health could get worse. I need to stay with her." I unwrap the needles in anticipation of what Tang is going to do.

Tang sighs, "Okay, okay, I understand. In school are you going to get transferred, if I may ask you? Is it Medical school?"

"I took the entrance exam for the biochemistry program. I wanted to go to pharmacy or dental school but my results were too low. And I don't think I have a single chance of being accepted into medical school anyway. I can never compare myself with these kids." I give the needle to Tang, "I just need to go to this university because it's not far from the hospital where my mother is receiving her treatment."

"Good luck!" Tang smiles gently at me and hands me the needle back. "Do it Tann. Since it's your last day as a student intern, you can do it very well. Only god knows when you'll have the chance to do it again."

I take the needle, "You never know, I can come back to finish school to be a nurse."

"Heh, I'm sure you've got some other things planned already. When you're done, don't forget to visit us in Bangkok every now and then." Tang goes to see a patient who had questioned him after asking the permission of the old lady if I, a trainee nurse, could do the blood test under her supervision.

I'm trying to find the patient's vein in the crook of her arm when my eyes are drawn to someone entering the female surgery department. He has a medium height: his name is sewn with green thread on his lab coat. He must be an intern or a resident that I have never met before. He goes directly to the bed opposite to the one where I was with my patient. He greets her and introduces himself in a clear, confident voice.

I return to my task and when I return to the opposite bed I find that the curtain around the bed has been lowered to preserve the patient's privacy.

"What is the doctor doing?" I ask Tang, remembering that the patient had a motorcycle accident.

"Oh, I believe he's a pathology resident." Tang takes off his gloves. "We're done. Let's go to the other bedroom."

"Yes ma'am," I push the blood draw instrument cart and follow Tang out of the room, I glance at the bed the resident had drawn the curtains on. Something about him caught my attention. His physique maybe I find very attractive but I quickly let it go. Soon, I will no longer be here to return to my mother who is seriously ill, I will not allow myself any form of attachment here.

On December 12th at 1:15 am, I stand there, staring at the sleeping form of Dr. Bunn in the dark. I managed to put him to sleep without a drop of sweat. I am about to do what my brother asked me to do.

I take out my phone, turn on the lens and put it in video mode. I'm trying to find the perfect angle to set up my laptop. I put my laptop on the trolley by the window, before hitting the red record button and turning on the light.

According to my last hours of observations, the nurses come to check his constants every four hours. One of them has just passed. The doctor did not prescribe enteral medicine for a patient with a head injury, he preferred to put him in an IV to go faster. Enteral medicine only includes painkillers, which are usually given when certain symptoms appear. I'm sure no nurse will come in to administer anything else to him.

I lower the side rail and sit on the edge of the bed. I raise my hand to stroke his face. The man sleeps soundly, the effect of the drug injected by force into his body takes effect. Bunnakit isn't handsome or cute—he's not the type of person you notice in a crowd. But when I look at him in its entirety, I find him really charming. I pull my hood back, ducking into the crook of his neck to smell his scent. My heart is beating uncontrollably. I imagine myself making love to this man when my hands start to wander over his body.

No it's wrong.

I close my eyes, trying to contain the burning desire in my chest, I quickly retreat to a corner of the piece, breathing hard. I can't do this, I can't.

I quickly approach the switch and turn off the light. I put my phone back in my pocket, put my hood back on and walk out of the room at a brisk pace.

...

"Bunn..." I call the man who doesn't move as if his mind has left his body. I grab his shoulders and shake him lightly. "Bunn, are you okay?"

"Hmm." is his answer. Those eyes look away. This is the last thing I wanted to see; it is as if something in him has shattered into a thousand pieces and now only the pain remains. He must be so hurt to finally know the bitter truth.

"It shouldn't have happened, I know. It's because of my brother; he lost control." I have to try to say something to make him feel better quickly. I know he's strong but he should have someone to support him emotionally at a time like this.

"You know, when something is right in front of you, it's completely harmless like the things we can't see under our feet. Before you know it—a fingernail sticks out of your bloody feet." Bunn pinches his lips against each other as if trying to stop the tide of emotion that assails him. I can visualize his feelings in his condition.

"Look, I know you're disappointed but I want you to know I'm on your side. You're not alone Bunn. I'll protect you. I'll end this and we'll be together." I take his hand in mine as I say that.

Oddly enough, Bunn doesn't take it off. He is probably utterly downcast by the cruel truth. "You still think that I will believe you? "

"I hope you will cooperate with me. Other than my mother, you are all I have left. I cannot lose you."

I feel that Bunn wants to explode but he's trying to contain himself. What he is very good at. His actions show how much he is bubbling inside. "It's just one more lie to make sure I trust you."

"Bunn.." I move closer to get a clear view of his face. "I can assure you, everything I told you is true."

"You want me to obey you. You lied about your mother to make me feel sorry for you. You lied, you're not Pert's brother. In fact, you're just one of his men. You lied about being gay to get me, to sleep with me and earn my trust. You made me fall in love with you so you could use me EASY!!" Bunn's voice rises to a cry of anger at the last word.

I freeze, the tidal wave of emotion that Bunn is trying to contain begins to escape. No matter how strong we are, I believe it comes to a point where we just can't keep things inside of us just like Bunn right now. There is no more role to play, no more staging. These are Bunn's true feelings

And if he just said he's in love with me—that must be true.

Bunn loves me... and look what I did to him

An uncomfortable feeling of guilt came over me. My vision blurs and then I can't hold back the hot liquid that has run down my cheeks. I wipe the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand. "I am sorry." My voice trembles. I know Bunn doesn't hear my apologies. He hasn't wanted to hear the sound of my voice for a long time.

Despite my self-confident and strong temperament, I am just a boy, a fragile, emotional and tearful boy. I cry whenever my mother's illness gets worse and when I'm afraid of losing someone I love.

Burn turns to look at me. He looks shocked to see me. "Tann-"

"Being gay isn't something you can cheat on someone with you know? The same goes for my love for you." I stare at the ceiling, hoping my tears will return from where they came from. Bunn stares at me silently. I made him realize that what he is seeing right now is not a lie, even though my hope is painfully slim.

"Your mother, what's wrong with her?"

"She has lupus."

"What were the symptoms?"

“It started with rashes when she was out in the sun. We went to a dermatologist and he prescribed her some medication,” I sniffle and then continue. “After that it spread all over her body, especially the backs of her feet. And then came the fatigue and difficulty breathing. I was in Se when she was taken to the hospital. They did. intubated and sent to the ICU. If I remember correctly, she also had pulmonary edema. They then diagnosed her with SLE. My mother has a weak kidney. She is still doing her hemodialysis treatments."

"You." Bunn points his finger at me. The medical terms I used caught his attention. "Were you a doctor?"

"Ex nursing student." I correct him, I have nothing more to hide.

Bunn is completely shocked, he hisses "Oh my god..."

"Ask me for more, whatever you want. I'll tell you anything until you believe me." I shake Bunn's hand. "Go ahead, ask me your questions. "

"How did you get a science degree then?"

Bunn spends over an hour bombarding me with questions about my personal life. I know he's trying to see if I'm lying. If the answer given contradicts the previous one or if I act in a suspicious way, he would realize it instantly. But since all of my answers are the truth, I don't have to be afraid. I feel that the atmosphere between us is gradually calming down, at the same time as the air warms up in the room. Bun is back to his old self—a stable, thoughtful man.

"Last question." Eventually, those words came out of his mouth after a myriad of others.

"It can't be your last. I'm always ready to answer."

"Do you really love me?" Bunn looks me straight in the eye as he asks this question, "It was the first thing I told you that was true." That's what I answered him immediately without hesitation.

Bunn pursed his lips together, his eyes resting on my hands. He grabs one of me and holds it tight. I then have the feeling that I am blowing a balloon in my chest. He stays like that for a while before he gets up and walks over to the gun on the floor. He watches my reaction when he bends down to pick it up. I didn't react because I wanted him to trust me. Bunn stands up with the gun in his hands. He fixes his gaze on me for a long moment and says, "Okay, I believe you."

I almost jump for joy but just smile in relief. I used the wrong approach technique from the start. In order for him to do what I want, I don't have to control him. I had to let him take control. I had exposed my heart and now is my turn to listen to it.

"Calm your joy for now and help me think about what we need to do now." Bunn checks the weapon's ammo before putting it to safety. "What have you been trying to do so far? Kill your two brothers?"

I admit I was really thinking about doing it. "Do I have another choice?"

I admit I was really thinking about doing it. "Do I have another choice?"

"Ok, but you will be prosecuted for first degree murder. Oh and kidnapping and sequestration also comes with the package. Then your father will probably have your mother killed—and me as well." Bunn points his finger at me. "Alright, now you have three people to murder. Do you have any other good ideas?"

I smile even harder. "So, you will help me."

"We have to think about it. We can't afford to make a single mistake." Bunn suddenly seems to remember something.

"Hey, you had to call Pert back, right? Hurry up and call him back before he suspects you."

I totally forgot about that call to Pert. Bunn is a really careful person. "It's okay. I'll text him to tell him I'll call him in the evening. It's easy to talk to him. I want to know our plan first."

"We won't be able to come up with a plan until the end of the day. We need more information." Bunn walks back and forth in front of me nervously. I take my phone and send a message; [I can not talk to you right now. I'll call you tonight.]

When I lift my head from the screen, I see Bunn standing above me. I'm about to ask him what he wants but he climbs on my thighs, straddling me, which prevents me from uttering a single word. He puts his arms around my neck before bending down to rest his lips against mine. His lips are hot like a burning fire, sending my thoughts scattered all over the place. My hands grab his waist instinctively.

I have to let him control me. The power is in Bunn's hands now... and this moment of intimacy is not an exception.