Chapter 3-3
938 Words
The park was a hard experience but out of it came two things. I am stronger than I think and with time I can manage. As Kai said, this is my day one. The scenery is nice, and the sun is a bright beacon in the sky, reminding me there is still a light in my current dark state. What I need to ask myself is if I’m ready. Do I want to be on a path of healing or continue down my current spiral of self-guilt and despair? I touch my chest and feel the strong beat of my heart. Zoe’s here. Taking up space. I let go of a deep breath and close my eyes.
Little girl. My sweet baby. Mamma’s gonna do everything in my power to honor you.
When I open my eyes, Kai’s sparkling brown ones are staring back at me.
“We’re here.”
I look up and notice we are at the stationery store. I’d completely spaced out.
“Why are we here?”
“You’ll see,” is all he says to me as we enter the store. A young girl greets us in Korean. “I want you to pick out a notebook. This book is not a journal, but a conversation book. Anything you want to say to Zoe, you say it in this book. You don’t need to write in it every day, only when you have something to say or share with your daughter. My only suggestion is to get something that can fit in your purse.”
Well, damn. I didn’t bring my wallet. It wasn’t on purpose. The twins paid for all my items, and Kai paid for dinner last night and lunch today.
“Kai, I didn’t bring any money with me. We can do this another time. I didn’t think to bring my purse.”
“It’s okay. It’s my treat. I don’t mind paying.”
Sawyer and Finn must be funding his expenses. It’s just like them to be prepared for any type of situation. I’m thankful as it’s one less thing I need to worry about. I pick a plum leather journal with intricate detailing on the front. This journal allows for replacement paper. Kai calls it a traveler’s journal.
“This will be perfect.” I turn and smile up at him before turning back to the assortment of items that I can add to it.
“Let’s get you some refill papers as well.”
I agree. I have a lot of things I want to say to Zoe. For the first time in a long time, I’m excited. Kai pays for the items and as the girl is handing him his receipt, my phone rings.
“Hello.”
“Hey, beautiful girl. How are you doing?” I can hear the kids in the background, along with Jackson. It sounds chaotic.
“Anna, it sounds like the kids are staging a coup over there.”
Laughing, Anna replies, “Girl, Jackson’s trying to put them to sleep.”
“All of them at the same time?”
Anna and Jackson have five children. Ava is their oldest and they have two sets of twins. Nia and Noll, and Taj and Tian. Three boys and two girls. Their house is a circus.
“Well, Ava is trying to help corral her brothers and sister but it’s hard work. How are you doing, Indy?”
“Today’s day one for me,” I say. I mean it. Today is the first day for all things to reboot.
“Day one?”
“Yes, I’m taking it one day at a time.”
“Well, you sound one-hundred-percent better. I can hear life in your voice.”
“Thanks. It isn’t easy. I cried in front of Kai today and blew snot in his handkerchief.”
“Wait, wait, wait. Kai? Who’s that?”
“Oh, he’s my therapist.”
“You’re on a first name basis already? You just got there less than seventy-two hours ago.”
I roll my eyes, but I know Anna can’t see, and Kai is watching my every word. I know he can hear Anna and her loud-a*s mouth over the phone. “Your point, Annabelle?”
I hear her clear her throat before Jackson takes the phone. “Indy, sugar, you okay?”
“Yeah, and I told you, Jackson, to stop calling me sugar, it makes me feel like a kid.”
“That’s ‘cause you are one to me, sweetheart. Are Finn and Sawyer taking care of you?”
They were in their own way.
“Yes, they are, but it’s too soon to give them the all clear,” I joke.
“Well, those bastards better remember my family.”
“Right. Put Anna on the phone. I gotta go.”
I’m on the phone longer than I want to be, and it’s rude with Kai standing in front of me, waiting.
“Was that your family?” Kai is standing next to me, holding the items I picked. Today is the first time I look at him. I noticed him before, but today there’s something different. I’ve always been aware of his scent and even his style of dress, but today I see other things. His build, for instance. It isn’t overly muscular. He’s tall, not lanky, and not bulky but sleek. I can tell he works out but doesn’t spend too much time at the gym. His hands are smooth but hold a certain power. He looks almost airbrushed with soften femininity. I wonder if he’s wearing foundation. He’s the opposite of Sawyer and Finn. They’re rugged and dark. Kai is refined and regal. Every step he takes is fluid and precise. My chest exhales deeply as I take him in.
“India, did you hear me?” Kai’s deep voice penetrates my thoughts, startling me. Goodness. Did I zone out? Kai’s noticed as well but says nothing else. He motions toward the exit, and I follow him out. “I think we’ve spent enough time together today. I’ll send you home in a taxi and we can meet tomorrow, same time. Okay?”
Why do I feel like he’s ditching me?
- Writer
