Assassin X

Raven

She wasn’t sure if she deserved the kindness Alex was offering her. He’d been so understanding, so caring, and most of all hadn’t turned her into the cops when he could have. The morning after the botched attack, Alex dressed her in a baggie pair of sweatpants and a faded gray flannel and told her she needed to come to the station with him.

“Do you really think going to the station is the best idea?” Raven asked.

“I think it’s the only idea. Your life is at stake and in less Captain is on your side there isn’t too much else I can do. At least, in the eyes of the law. The only thing we can do is get Papa in custody. Take the whole organization down.“

“What will happen to me? I’ve done some terrible things. They’ll send me away for sure.“

Jail would certainly beat death, Raven knew that, but that didn’t mean that’s where she wanted to go. Couldn’t Alex just help her escape? Help her get on a bus to anywhere and help her hide?

She supposed that wouldn’t work though, eventually she was going to have to pay for her mistakes. Though she had felt there was no choice at the time, and maybe when Papa had kidnapped her there wasn’t, she had still done what she done. She hurt the people she hurt. And she even killed the people she killed. People like that needed to pay for their mistakes. Isn’t that what Papa had been teaching her the whole time?

“There’s ways around all of that,” Alex told her. “A lot of times with a witness like you we’d rather have the biggest fish in the sea, the shark, rather than the guppy. You’re the guppy. And if you can lead us to the shark you’re going to save a lot more fish.”

Raven looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Can you please stop the ocean analogy? This is sort of my life here, not some TV special.”

Alex sighed. “What I mean is Papa is the one we want. He’s the head of everything. If we capture him it’s going to save a lot more lives. Without Papa’s command you wouldn’t be out on the streets killing anybody. The DA is going to know that. If we just capture you and no one else, Papa will replace you. You know that. So if we catch Papa it ends it all.“

“So then why will your captain or the DA want to help me? Wouldn’t they want to punish me too?”

“Yeah you will probably get a little punishment but it’s likely due to your past and due to how he captured you to begin with that will be able to keep you out of jail and safe. Of course maybe with the watchful eye of a sexy city cop.” Alex winked at her.

Raven couldn’t help herself, she laughed at his corny joke. Was he really flirting it with her right in the middle of her life falling apart? Was she really actually laughing when her life was in severe danger? The answer to both those things was yes he was flirting and she was laughing and something lightened in her chest. She didn’t know how it was going to work out, though Alex kept promising it would. But no matter what, she did feel better having him at her side. Someone who could take the burden and make it feel not so pressing. Someone who was giving her a chance to let her breathe. Someone who knew her flaws and didn’t throw her away like the trash that others seemed to think she was, but instead wanted to take care of her and help her. Raven had never had that before. No matter what happen next she was going to cherish that feeling.

Taking a step towards him, Raven lately place her fingers on his chest. Even through his clothes she could feel how hard his body was underneath her touch and how warm he was. She wanted to save that feeling, she hadn’t gotten enough of it when they had been dating. If she could even call it dating at that point. Whatever it was she wished she had more time with him; she wished she kissed him more, she wished she let him hold her more. Raven was sure after her meeting with Captain, she wouldn’t get the chance to do that with Alex again.

Raven looked up into his eyes and Alex stared deeply into hers. She didn’t know what to say there were no words for how he was helping her, how he was risking himself for her. All she could do was to reach up and place her arms around his neck, then lean farther into him when she placed her lips lightly on his. At first it was no more than the caress of butterfly wings, and Alex stood there nearly frozen. For a brief moment Raven wondered if it had been a mistake, if he wanted nothing to do with her. But quickly his strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her tightly against him. He deepened their kiss, opening his mouth and letting his tongue slide along the seam of her lips. She open to him and tasted the morning mint of his toothpaste, the spice of his cologne, and for a dizzying moment she let herself forget everything that had happened and everything that could happen. All there was was Alex and that moment and that kiss.

When she broke away tears were in her eyes, she knew that it was time. Alex must’ve read her thoughts and slid his hands from his waist to her hand and grasped it tightly.

“I’m going to be there with you the whole time,” Alex said.

Raven nodded weekly. There was a knot in her stomach.

“Captain is going to help take care of all this. I promise it.“

Alex lead her to the front door and she followed behind knowing that she wasn’t afraid the Captain couldn’t end it. She knew that she had enough information to take Papa down, to take this whole ring down and end the terror in the city. It was what came after that she was afraid of. It was what her life, if she had any, would be like once she confessed to her sins.

Walking into the police station was nothing like Raven imagined. She imagined a bustling a busy city office with officers hanging around every corner. Paperwork strewn about, and large angry conversations with horrible felons. Instead what she got was a room with several empty desks, still cluttered with the papers, but not nearly as many people. There were no felons that she could see though she wasn’t sure what one would look like if she even saw them. As it was, no one has ever suspected her for the crimes that she committed.

Alex was in a hurry to get her to the captain‘s office. He had already let the man know that they would be coming in to talk to him, that Raven was going to need protection, and Alex had assured her that in less that twenty-four hours all of it would be to over. She hated those words, that all of it would be “over”, because she didn’t know what “over” meant. Did it mean her life outside of jail cell? Did it mean she would never see Alex again?

Then there was her next concern, Papa knew a lot of people. He knew a lot important people. And he had more than enough money to go around. How could Alex be so certain that Papa wouldn’t buy his own freedom and throw everyone else under the bus? He became the evil in the city that he claimed he was trying to wipe away, Raven saw that clearer than she ever had before. So if he’d already become the evil, then didn’t it stand to reason that he would do the same things he was killing others over? Trying to run the city based on money and fear.

Raven didn’t want his money anymore, she would give back every penny, she’d go live in a shelter, she would do anything to erase Papa from her life. And she didn’t want to live in fear; to have to watch over her shoulder every day of her life, to not be sure if she would wake up the next day. She had spent so much of her life living that way but Alex kept assuring her that would never happen again. And as he held her hand so tightly and pulled her through the station and through the maze of desks, she hoped he was right. She hoped all of those days were behind her.

But she knew that she wasn’t done yet. She was still going to have to write her wrongs and that began with talking to Captain.

Though the station wasn’t what Raven had expected, Captain was. He did look like every detective she’d seen on TV; hard faced, mustache, scrutinizing eyes, he was intimidating. Or maybe it was just the fact that Raven knew what she was getting into when she shook hands with the man. He didn’t have sympathy for her and the fact that she was fearing for her life, and why should he? She’d done enough damage to other people and other people’s lives that she didn’t deserve any sympathy, so Alex didn’t see it that way.

“Please have a seat,” Captain said and gestured to a hard metal chair in the conference room.

Alex sat next to her and continued to hold her hand. She didn’t miss the look Captain shot his officer but still Alex didn’t let go. And she was thankful for that because if he had they would both have seen how hard she was trembling.

“I’m going to need to record this Raven,“ he said and pushed a button on a big black recording box.

Raven swallow hard.

“I’m going to need you to start from the beginning. From the first day you ever met the man you call Papa, up until last night. Do you understand?“

Raven nodded. She was about to confess her sins and tell her story, and she didn’t know which one terrified her worse. Having to tell this man about the demons she lived through or about the demons she created for others.

The recorder whirled as Raven spoke. She spilled her soul, and spared no details. Never in her life had she opened up this way but she figured what did she have to lose? Telling Captain about the way she grew up, the abuse she faced, the dark pain of the streets, and telling them how Papa had come for her and pulled her from the streets and had trained her to be who she was, was the most she had ever spoken in her life.

When it got to the harder parts to talk about, when her voice filled with tears, Alex’s thumb rubbed tiny circles on the back of her hand. It was a silent signal that he was there and that he would offer her what he could. It was still going to be Captain’s decision what happened to her life next.

Raven didn’t know how long she spoke for and Captain’s face stayed stoically impassive the entire time, but when she finished talking there was a relief in her heart. Another bit of weight, had been lifted from her.

“Well, that’s a lot of story. And I’m sorry for all that had happened to you,” Captain told her. “But I need to ask you, are you ready to right your wrongs? Are you prepared to help us make this city better again? But this time on the right side of it all?”

Raven hesitated for a moment. Making things right would mean going toe to toe with Papa. But eventually she nodded, it was time for her to do what was right, no matter what that meant for her.