Love Throughout Time

Chapter 10

*Millie*

It was kind of fun for a few minutes being in the rich people’s dining room on the Titanic, but the reality of it all sunk in as Will pointed out all those people I know are going to die. I’m glad to get away and get some fresh air.

I’m a Titanic passenger now. What if I don’t make it either?

Will holds the door open for me as we step out on the promenade. “We can talk freely out here. Most will choose indoor activities for the evening.”

Mr. Astor’s laughter rings through my mind. He is completely oblivious to the horror he’s about to face going down with the ship into the icy waters. It doesn’t help that I know about some of his last moves, which were pretty brave. He may have been a little creepy to marry a woman so much younger than him, but in the end, he will put himself above others.

I don’t even notice I’m shivering until Will takes off his jacket. “Here. There’s a bit of a chill in the air.”

“Oh, thanks.” I try to give him a smile, but that’s hard when I’m thinking about so many deaths. He offers me his arm again, and we stroll down the promenade. It’s crazy how much room there is. They could have easily put more lifeboats here.

“I hope you weren’t too offended by our companions’ talk of the pool incident,” he says. “It’s just a highly unusual occurrence, bound to find its way into dinner conversation.”

I shake my head. “No, that was fine. No doubt everyone is totally shook from someone doing something that unexpected.”

“I… suppose that’s accurate.” We step up to the railing and both look out to sea. I drop his elbow and put both hands on the cool steel. The ship seems so sturdy. I can see why no one thinks it’s going to sink. And it feels so real. If I’m dreaming, this is the most vivid one I’ve ever had.

Maybe I’ll wake up soon, and Mom will be standing over me.

I notice Will seems just as lost in thought as I am. “You look so far away. Do you miss your home? I guess I never asked why you are even on this ship.”

He turns to me. “Parts of me miss Southampton, yes. But my siblings and I have been preparing for our new lives for months now.”

“New lives?”

He lets out a long sigh. “The situation has been rather difficult since our parents passed.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” I place my hand on his arm and hope I haven’t upset him.

“No apologies needed,” he insists, looking back at me and smiling. “Our mother and father both passed from influenza the year before last.”

I shake my head. “That’s awful.”

“Mother died first,” he says distantly. “Father went within the month. I don’t think he wanted to live without her.”

“That’s so… heartbreaking.” I don’t know what else to say. What a horrible way to go, watching someone you love die first.

“It was—is. Yes, it still is hard to reconcile.”

“So, it’s just the three of you now?” I ask.

He nods. “Yes. Edward and I struggled in deciding what actions to take. You’ll have to forgive Agatha. She took Mother’s loss hard. My mother loved her social life, so Agatha has tried to keep us in the same circles. But, finances have been difficult since their passing. Simply put, neither Edward nor I were prepared to run the business as father did.”

“And people ignore you just because you don’t have as much money?” I know that happened a lot back then. I guess it still happens in 2025.

“Some do, yes.” He inhales and lets it out slowly before continuing. “Once our business started to suffer, Edward and I needed a new business opportunity. Our grandfather—on our father’s side—needed help in his successful business in America. So, we finally decided to sell the home and the company in Southampton and relocate.”

“That sounds so hard, picking up and leaving everything you know.” I kind of understand the feeling.

“It is, but we have family and prospects in America.” There’s so much sadness in his eyes. “It’s not that I don’t wish to see my grandparents. It’s just that I miss my parents so much, especially my mother.”

“You were close.”

“Very.” He takes another deep breath. “What about you? Your mother and sister were with you when you… ended up here?”

I nod. “Yes. Mom was pretty excited about our vacation.”

“And your father?” he asks.

“Dad’s been gone since I was about five,” I explain. “I remember him, but not very clearly. Mostly I remember the difference in my mother before and after he was gone. She used to smile all the time. Then one day, she didn’t. It’s hard to get her to smile, even now.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He looks at me with genuine concern.

“Thanks.” I swing around and watch the moonlight flicker on the waves. “She did her best with my sister and me. She worked as a waitress while she went to law school.”

“Your mother attended law school? How unusual for a woman.” Will’s eyes are wide in shock.

That makes me laugh. “Yes. Women can be whatever they want in my time. There are tons of female lawyers. Mom did well, and that’s how we could afford first class on what was meant to be the trip of a lifetime for her. Now, well, I have no idea where she’s at–or where I am, I guess.”

“Things are quite confusing.”

“You’ve got that right.” I look around the promenade deck. “Mom is such a Titanic fanatic. She’s obsessed, I tell you. I think it all started with the movie, which she saw before I was born. I guess Dad was into it with her back then. They went to museums, collected things, found stuff on the internet.”

“Perhaps it still gives her a connection to your father,” he suggests.

I look at him, c*****g my head. “That’s actually… I never thought about that before. No wonder she’s so obsessed with anything Titanic.”

“Obviously, I’ve never met your mother, so I can only speculate,” he says. “But it does sound like it was something they had in common.”

“Yeah.” I always knew studying the Titanic made her happy. I just never thought about why. Now, I may never be able to tell her I understand.

We both stare out at the black abyss for several moments before Will breaks the silence. “So, you say the iceberg rips a hole in the side of the ship?”

I nod. “That’s the researchers’ best guess, anyway. It’s a big gash, and with that and weak rivets, the water gets in, flooding all those compartments as it goes over the bulkheads.”

“I suppose that attracted everyone’s attention.”

“No, not everyone,” I explain. “Most people didn’t even know what was happening. It’s such a big ship, some of them didn’t even feel the impact. Some of the staff said the boat had simply thrown a propeller blade. A lot of them didn’t even wake up at first.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” he says.

He’s just being polite, I’m sure. Everything I’m telling him must sound completely insane. I guess it just shows what a nice guy he is. I wonder if I’m just dreaming about him and putting it all in a time-travel-to-the-Titanic theme. I think I might miss him if I wake up. He’s nicer than any of the guys I’ve met in my life.

“It takes a lot of time for everyone to realize what’s happening, and then there’s a rush to the lifeboats,” I add. “But they insisted on women and children first. So, men put their women in and were never seen again.” I lower my voice a little in case someone’s around. “Like Mr. Astor.” A shiver rushes over me, and I wrap my arms around myself. I don’t think it’s just from the cold.

“It all sounds terrible,” Will says, and I believe he really feels that way about my story–even if he thinks it’s just that–a story.

“It is,” I agree.

“We’d better get you back to the stateroom,” he says. “Come.” He offers his arm again, and I take it. It’s a little warmer, walking close to him. It doesn’t take long to get to his sister’s room, where we pause at the door.

I turn to face him. “Thank you for dinner.”

“It was my pleasure,” he says. “Thank you for your company.”

He leans forward a little, and our eyes lock for a second with our faces close together. I can even feel the warmth of his breath. It seems he’s going to kiss me, and I’m starting to think I’d like that. I bite down on my lower lip, staring into his eyes.

Will blinks a few times, and then turns away. I take a deep breath–of course a guy from 1912 isn’t just going to kiss me in the hallway outside a stateroom. Hhe unlocks the door and backs away.

Disappointment washes over me. A kiss would be pretty bold for 1912. That’s too bad. Even if I’m just dreaming, I have a feeling it would have been nice.

“Goodnight,” he says with a small smile.

I give him a nod and hand him back his jacket. “Goodnight.” I go inside and hear him lock the door behind me, and I lean against it for a moment, catching my breath.

I turn to see his sister sleeping in the bed. I guess tea with the ladies didn’t take that long. It looks like the couch is mine. That’s fine. It’s her bed. There’s still one dim light flickering, which I guess she left on for me, along with laying out a fancy nightgown, which was nice of her. Now that I know about their parents, I understand why she’s so worried about her brothers. They’re all she has left, after all.

I sure hope she doesn’t lose them on the Titanic. I get a chill just thinking about it. I hadn’t considered yet whether Will would live. It’s not like I’ve memorized the names of all the Titanic survivors, so I have no idea.

Putting that thought aside before it keeps me up all night, I figure out a way to shimmy out of my dress. With its lower neckline, it’s not as hard to undo as that tight-collared day dress.

Changing clothes this many times a day is exhausting. What a crazy way to live.

The corset is the hardest because it’s tied in the back, but once I figure out the loop, it’s not too hard to loosen it until the damn thing is off. I’m not looking forward to wearing that again. Thankfully, the nightgown is comfortable.

There’s a pillow and blanket on the couch, and I fix it so it’s cozy and settle into it. It’s been very strange and scary being on the RMS Titanic.

I hope when I wake up in the morning, I’ll be back in 2025.

But then.. I wouldn’t get a chance to say goodbye to Will.