Romance Is Boring

...And we exhale and roll our eyes in unison

Later that evening

-You look nervous.- Jude remarked when Zero took a deep breath for the umpteenth time.

-That's because I am.

Taking Zero gently by the shoulders, Jude turned around and peered into his face.

-Nobody's going to think we are on a date. To the casual observer, you will be nothing more than a guy having dinner with his agent.- Jude assured Zero. After a while, Zero nodded with a pained expression. Jude didn't notice because by then he was too busy picking fluff off Zero's suit.

-I don't know why you're stressing about this.- Jude continues, adding an incredulous- We went to a gay club the other night!

Jude could be so obvious sometimes. Honestly, Zero és too self-absorbed to worry about appearances.

-It's not that.- Zero replied, grabbing Jude's hands to still them.

-What then?- Jude asked, sliding his fingers in between Zero's fingers. That was nice and also made it virtually impossible to think of talking, so Zero let go of Jude's hands and put a little distance between them. Zero bit his bottom lip and gestured at the two of them vaguely.

-I don't know how to do this. Date.- he clarified. Jude snorted

-I'm sure you've been on dates before right?

-Yeah, but not with someone I like. It's different when it's not just a prelude to s*x. I have no idea what happens next.- Zero admitted.

Baffled, Jude stared at him as if to ascertain that he was serious. How could Zero explain to Jude that the dates he'd been on would probably not even classify as real dates? More like random hooks-ups. It had never been about more than s*x.

-Relax. You'll be fine.- Jude said. Zero looked at him. This was more than s*x. Zero remembered why he had avoided this for so long: emotional intimacy was creepy.

Still, he wanted this. He wanted Jude. The weird thing was that it wasn't all that different from wanting Jude as a friend. Did friendship plus f*****g equal dating? Could it be that simple?

-Jude?

-Yes?

-You look great naked. You're naturally sweet like it takes no effort at all. You believe in me in a way that makes me feel lucky to know you. I know exactly why I love you, but why do you love me?- Zero asked.

Jude threw him an odd look before answering.

-Because you're you.

-The bit I'm a dick.- Zero protested.

Jude shook his head.

-No, that's simply the first thing people see in you. If you were a book that would be your cover, but it's not who you are.

Zero was surprised by how accurate that description was. His first instinct was to be a d**k unless there was something to gain by being nice. He had never thought about making the wrong impression. He had never cared.

-Ser, you know me already.- he pointed out

-Not as well as I'd like to. It's sort of strange to realize that you can be insecure too. You know, like normal person.- Jude joked.

Zero raised an eyebrow a playfully aimed a jab at Jude's shoulder. Jude, anticipating the move, reacted by sidestepping it. They grinned at each other.

-I don't know how to be in a relationship.- Zero repeated

-You'll get to hang of it eventually.- Jude responded.

He sounded so sure of himself, so full of confidence, that Zero lowered his guard completely.

-It's not me loving you it's hard. Okay, it is, but it's almost easy compared to you loving me.- he tried to explain

Jude frowned, clearly having no idea what Zero meant by that.

-How is me loving you so difficult?

-I can't remember the last time I took love from anyone.- Zero confessed, suddenly starting to laugh. Zero wrapped Jude in his arms and passionately kissed him back. He couldn't get enough of the feeling of Jude's supple skin underneath his hands and the way it colored slightly from his touch. Panting and chuckling, Jude broke off the kiss.

-You're telling me because you want me to know you.- he suggested

-Jude, you know me. But you're right: I want you to know me. That hasn't happened before.- Zero elaborate.

Jude kissed him again. He had a habit of keeping their kisses short and light in the beginning. It drove Zero crazy with desire.

-We're not going out, are we?- Zero inquired, as Jude started to unbutton his shirt.

-Another night?- Jude proposed, hesitantly. Zero shrugged, secretly glad that he wouldn't have to do this he was so inexperienced at yet. They both exhaled audibly, looked at each other, and rolled their eyes at each other. Obvious relief.

Then Jude slowly liked he was into Zero's mouth and Zero just surrendered. His body, his mind, his life: everything was Jude's for however long he wanted it.

Zero, who had always thought that forever was a f*****g long time and that nothing could - or should - last that long, was now hoping that this would last forever. 

Luckily, it did.