Romance Is Boring

-I wanted to kiss you too after the game. It was almost one word due to the speed with which Zero spoke. He needed to get this out before he lost his nerve. Being this nervous was strange because Zero didn't date or care any of that crap. Yet, here he was and it seemed an awful lot like he cared, and Jude wasn't saying anything. Maybe he was too busy reading way too much into this. -That doesn't mean that I love or that I'm in love with you.- Zero warned -Okay. -It doesn't mean that I trust you either- Zero added. Jude was silent again. Damn if that didn't freak Zero out. - Yeah, okay, I trust you,- he quickly amended - but mostly I don't trust people. It also doesn't mean ... -I get it. It doesn't mean anything, - Jude interrupted. He sounded disappointed. This was exactly why they were doing this over the phone. Hearing the disappointment in Jude's voice was bad enough, Zero did not want to see his face right now. -No, it doesn't!-Zero protested. Dammit! What was he doing? Suddenly, he couldn't even take it if Jude sounded sad? What the hell was happening? -What does it mean then?- Jude inquired. Well, this was great. Now Zero was going to have to come up with some bullshit and it would seem unconvincing of course because he sucked at lying to Jude and he would pick up on it. f**k. -Are you still there? -Give me a minute!- Zero snapped. Oh, Jesus. Abort, abort. -Are you trying to think of something? It doesn't have to mean anything, you know. Could just have been leftover adrenaline from the game.- Jude suggested. He's offering me an out, Zero realized. Normally, he would grab it and run for the hills, but he happened to not want an out this time. An out would mean that Jude would be dating some other guy in no time. -It means something, okay? Things are better when I share them with you.-Zero replied. He immediately regretted it. Why the f**k did he say that. So, it has true? (which was weird, since sharing means dividing and dividing means less for him) So what? Who the hell went around saying s**t like that? What was wrong with him? -Why didn't you say that immediately? - Jude asked and he sighed. - Because whenever I feel or think s**t like that, there's this voice in my head that goes "abort, abort". -And you listen.- Jude guessed - I usually listen. - Zero confirmed as he got out of his car. -But you are not listening now. - Jude pointed out -That's right -Why's that? -I don't know.- Zero admitted, entering Jude's apartment building. He hoped that this as enough. He hoped that Jude wouldn't make him say it. He couldn't say it. -So what now?- he asked -I think you come over,- Jude said, his cockiness was sexy. Zero had never considered anyone sexy over the phone, he needed visuals, he needed a contact. -You think so, hm? - he teased, making his way down the hall to Jude's apartment. - I do. I even think that you're coming to spend the night. Wait there's someone at the door. - Jude explained - I'll wait. - Zero replied, hanging up.