Haim's Paradox

WASTED LIFE OF HAIM

Haim is utterly despondent. From the pain he is in right now, he might swallow his tongue. He was ecstatic, but everything about him had turned upside down.  He wanted to sob, but he could not think of something to lament for. He was furious. He was in excruciating pain but could not say anything because he could not talk. He wanted to cry, but he restrained himself. He could not breathe naturally. His emotions were bursting at the seams in his heart. Haim's shadow, which ate him up in his dream, is after him now. Despite his profuse sweating, the night was not particularly hot.

He is isolated, so the safe house he is currently in does not feel like a residence, nor does any other house he owns. He was overwhelmed by his sorrow. He was exhausted from the trauma. He had had enough of being a human. He only wished to die if the people he was with disappeared. He does not have anything, and he does not have anybody. Too much of his self-sacrifices have gone to waste. Many of his high hopes have been shattered. All was meaningless. There is little for him but, in his overwhelming array of realities, he was chosen to be in the most despicable of situations.

He just wanted to be wasted.

He goes up from his bed and gone outdoor. He ordered a bunch of liquor and wanted to be drunk with the officers who were protecting him.

“I ordered a bunch of these; would you like to join in?” Haim said as he holds the expensive barrel of wine.

“We are not allowed to do such thing sir. In fact, we could not protect you well if we become drunk sir Haim.” The one officer said.

“Nah, don't worry about it; I won't mention anything like that to your department. Perhaps even, don't you think it is nice to have some spare time? And who is to say we will get drunk if we just drink a little? It's such a waste if any of this expensive wine goes to waste.” Haim was the one who responded.

After Haim had persuaded the officers, they prepared the safe house's tiny backyard table and got drunk.

Haim asked their names. The first officer responds and end up introducing the two.

“I am Pedro Gonzales and next to me name James Hudson and the one on your side is Kane Mint. Just for you to know were friends ever since we took this job.”

“So, what’s the deal between the friendship of yours?” Haim asked.

“Basically, we came as the poorest trainees from the precinct. We got nothing but ourselves and we end up knowing each other and after that we have each other’s back.” Kane replied.

“Oh, I remember one time when James was really messed up everything and he was on the edge of giving up, we came to know what is behind and ended by continuing. Our bond became stronger after that time.” Pedro said.

“I could not forget when the time came and fate feuds then it starts my family issues. I myself was to blame and I believe that everything came wrong because of me. My dream had been dashed. My family means a lot more to me than my life. I could not bear seeing my parents fight and silently gazing at their torn tears. I, on the other hand, never cried. I am still furious at myself and refuse to reveal any vulnerability or cry because I know I shouldn't and, once again, I'm the one to blame. That moment, I seriously considered whether it would be best for me to die or vanish in order to put my family at ease. I see myself as a complete embarrassment, and I am not a man. I'm under the most strain, and I believe I deserve to be in pain at the moment. I even do such hurting myself intentionally.

But God gave me friends. James and Pedro got my back. They thought me to be strong from accepting my weaknesses.  They provided me with happiness and other benefits. They allowed me to have the experience of having someone by my side who was so helpful. I had the impression that I was loved in every way. My life was spared because of them.” After recalling their experiences, Kane sobbed.

On the other hand, Haim was envious. “How I wish I had friends and ties like yours, but I believe God forbids me from having them. He let the criminal loose, killing everyone in his path. What do you think I have done to Him by allowing me to go through this? Yet I couldn't take it anymore.”

Everyone goes into silence.

“Nah, let’s just enjoy this delicious wine and just enough of drama.” Haim fakes his laugh to distract the three officers.

“If you got no one, maybe we could be an accompany. We could protect ourselves though. Don’t you agree, Kane, Pedro?” James said.

“Yah, we are men, but indeed we still need such friends to got our backs. We can be your friend Haim.” Kane agreed.

“There is nothing to be worried about entering your life for we ourselves could protect each one, including you Haim.” Pedro responds.

Haim was still enigmatic, as if he did not know what to say. After all, he could not afford to lose someone, so he responds, "Let's just see what destiny will do."

Haim had intended to flee the safe house from the three officers, but despite the fact that all that transpired was not part of his scheme, he nevertheless desired to leave the safe house. So, he buys time by allowing the three to get engrossed in nonsense talk and only waiting until they are totally inebriated and passing out.

He was bored to the point of daydreaming nightmares once more. He found himself caught in such a tumultuous night, imprisoned by the shadow, which would not let him die. He regains his senses after a little time and notices the three officers passed out hugging each other. 

Haim was unfamiliar with the area after walking outside, but he does recall seeing a party bar nearby. He had not yet been inebriated, so he was able to stroll safely to his destination.

As he arrived at the pub, he went straight to the counter and ordered a large quantity of liquor for himself. Since no one knew him and he was still grieving, he took as much alcohol as he could.

He had no idea how unpleasant the place was until he was intoxicated. The bar was known as the sinners' nightclub. There was a lot of bad stuff going on there, like s****l assault and other things. A party of men then approaches Haim.

“So, what is with the new guy doing here?” the man said.

“Leave me alone. I have no such business with you. Mind yourselves.” Haim replied.

“Oh, we have got no business with you I see. But what if there is, what will you do?” the other man grinned.

“Just shut up okay. If you want money, then just rob me. Just leave me alone.” Haim furiously said.

“We got nothing to do with your money though. We have a bunch of that. In fact, we are the owner of this bar, so we are the superiors here. So, whoever gets in is ours now.”

Haim replied by, “So, that is how your treat your customers. Heh, how possessive.”

“Oh boy, I like your madness. But for your information, everyone who enters this pub is not our customers. And now you are here you are no longer a customer as how you think so. You are our s*x slave for the night, but don’t you worry, it is just for a night.” The man said laughing.

Haim did not see those things coming. He was dumbfounded, yet he remembers he got nothing so he did not care what will happen to himself. However, he was still furious to the man, so he punched him in the face.

The man did not flinch and just said, “Oh, so you like brutality huh. Bring him in.”

Haim was grabbed by a group of guys, but he did not seem to mind. He did little about his night at the bar being a disaster. He had been restrained. His clothing had been torn. His dignity had been stripped from him. Haim was subjected to lustful acts by the guys, who relished every moment of it. Haim's body had them enthralled. In contrast, Haim was lifeless on the inside.

He had his fill of pain. He had enough of the agony. He was now piercingly deafeningly muffled.  His existence had been a living nightmare for him. To him, fate is a demon. He has lost all feeling. He was upset, but he had no idea what was wrong. He is going insane.

His body was fighting against his will to die by attempting to survive the suffering. It was a war against his own will's orders. After what he had been through, he was thrown outside the bar and was in such a depressed state. His garments were torn as he walked.

He was moving around like a zombie. Now he has nothing. All had vanished, even himself. He was nothing more than a wretched vessel seeking to make a living out of nothing. He was going in circles. In his view, there is no such thing as home. Within, he was sobbing, but his face was numb. He was in a state of utter anguish. Each night was a torment for him.

His body shuts down.

Laura, on the other hand, was on her way to see Haim and give him an update on the case. She drove down the road until she came across Haim, who was lying on the ground in his torn clothing. She rushed him to her car and drove him to the safe house.

She was enraged to see the three officers unconscious at the backyard table, seemingly unaware of what had happened to Haim. She roused the three to assist her in transferring Haim to his bed and changing his clothing. Laura nags the three officers after taking charge of Haim.

“Why did you get drunk and completely disregard your job? If your superiors catch you doing anything like this, you might be suspended immediately. You even have no idea what happened to Haim.” Laura expressed her thoughts.

Pedro attempted to justify themselves, but Kane interrupted him.

“We apologize profusely, Detective. It is entirely our responsibility. We let Sir Haim trick us into getting drunk and neglecting our jobs.” Kane remarked.

“Hmp!” exclaims the speaker. It is pointless to wait for an apology if it has already happened. Let us just resolve this tomorrow morning and inquire about Haim's whereabouts. I will be responsible for protecting the area for the night. So, get comfortable and shake off your hangover.” To the three officers, Laura said.

The detective and the cops had a really frustrating night that shift.