I’m not okay

I feel the eyes watch me as I walk down the hall.They think they can judge me, I shift my body towards the left side of the hall little do they know I judge them, I get a hard push into a locker but keep walking. “Hi loser” I turn to see a girl wearing small shorts and a neon pink tank top, Nancy Dwell, she chews her gum and then pops a bubble. “You’ve come up with better insults” I throw in an eye roll with my remark. She looks me up down “what happen, did mommy dress ya” she smacks her gum. I turn and walk but she just scoffs “run ya coward...and if you gonna tattle on me remember to speak up and use your big girl voice” she talks in a baby voice and I try to ignore the laughs from the other students. Even as I walk away she continues to taunt me by throwing things at me, I quickly dodge a pencil case but then I get hit with a book. The taunts follow me all the way to gym. When gym starts I get a few sneers from the kids on the football team. When it’s time to run laps I dread the whistle blow “looks like I get to run next to the-” the whistle drowns out what Tony Muller said next, and for once I didn’t mind the whistle. My legs moved so fast I couldn’t feel them, my heart pounded so hard in my chest that that I swear it was about to jump out. You may ask why was I running so fast? To get far away from Tony Muller, he was Nancy’s boyfriend, and just like her he loathed me. He yelled something at me, but I ignored him “sorry can’t hear you” I tell him over my shoulder, but I only get a second to see his face before disaster. His mouth was in a evil smile for the split second I saw him, the kind of smile that a murder gives right before killing it victim. I feel something hit my shin, and then the whole world crashes...I feel my face hit the ground, and my knees and arms scratch on the tracks asphalt ground. They all laugh their stupid sounding laughs “heh heh ha” I feel someone grab my arm and help me up “you okay?” I look up to see Miles Tomas brushing off my arm. “Hey Miles what are you doing?” Tony looks over at us “ I was...uh” he paused and looked around “I was just helping her up” the other boys scratch their heads. “I’m sorry” he whispers in my ear. “I was helping her up...just to knock her down!” He thrusts me out of his arms and sends me flying to the ground. The other boys laugh and Tony comes over and kicks my leg a little to hard. I bite my lip to stop the tears from bursting through my eyes. I see Nancy across the field and shes waving at me like we’re best friends. When the boys finally leave I know it’s safe to get up. I walk over to coach and ask her if I can go clean up because I had “tripped” over something. She lets me go clean up and I’m more than happy to get away from the boys, and anyway I need to hide as much my injuries as I can before next class. The day continued as normal, but I got less punch’s in the hallway today and Nancy didn’t beat me up for talking to her in the hall. Everything was fine intel the last class of the day. As I was walking to English class I felt a person tap my shoulder, when I turned around Gabby was standing there in all her rebel glory “girl we got a problem” she chews her gum and blows a bubble “what kinda problem?” She looks around than brings me in close “Nancy hasn’t smashed you for talking to her today” I push her away and kept walking “yeah let’s keep it that way” she jogs to catch up to me “you don’t find it weird?” I turn and face her “just leave it Gabs, I don’t want any more trouble and for once maybe Nancy won’t cause it” I fling open my locker and realize how wrong my words were from the moment the dirt hit me. The dirt poured out of my locker and covered me. The only laugh I could here was Nancy’s, even though every other kid laughed along with her. When I turned to to look at Nancy I felt water slap my in the face. I opened my mud covered eyes to see Nancy holding a empty cup, water still trickling down the side. “Now you look just the pig you are” she gave an evil laugh, nobody spoke, Nancy glared at everyone and they all began to laugh. I pushed past the crowd and run down the hallway, all my tears finally pouring out. I slammed the janitors closet behind me, and waited to cry till until I barricade the door. Someone knocked on the door, but I didn’t open it. “J you in there?” I recognized Gabby’s voice and respond, “yes” she pauses and she almost walks off. “You good?” I stare at the door for a second and all my thoughts jumble around. “I’m fine”, the words feel heavy in my mouth but I repeat them... “I’m fine”.