One Day...

Time for me to find love...

After everything I've been through I figured it was time to find love. I was in the 11th grade and I started talking to this guy...we won't give him a name lol. He knew that I was sick but at that time he seem ok with it. He promised me that we would get married and have kids...white picked house in another state. Well with me being young at that time I fell for it. I dropped out of school in the 11th grade I moved out of state which broke my mother's heart.

The move was a nightmare for me I had no medicine and was homeless. I slept in different hotels I called my mom almost every day asking for money. I couldn't take it anymore I had to come back home. The one thing that I didn't tell my mom was that I was getting beat on but she realized that when I got back to Ohio. When I got into the bus station and I saw how my mom looked it broke my heart she looked bad,stressed she posted so much weight I can see the happiness in her eyes but also saw all the stress that I just put her through. How could I do that to the woman that protect me that carried me gave me life. We sat down and with tears in my eyes I told her that I was sorry. I just wanted to loved. Before anything happened to me all I wanted was that house with my own family but I didn't get that. I got back on my medicine I was back home and happy again. I started dating again till one night I heard a knock on my door when I opened the door it was my ex telling me how sorry he was and that everything would be different it was at first

but nothing had changed he was back to hitting me, calling me names, told me that nobody would ever want a crippled after being told that for years you start to believe it and I did. I found out that I was pregnant now at this time I'm still getting treated like I was nothing my son came into my life now that was a true blessing. When the doctor put him in my arms and I looked down at him I fell in love the words that my mom said to me was the truth. This was unconditional love right here! I realized that I would give my life for him and almost did. I wanted to go back and get my GED so I started working on that. I was taking care of a new born baby, taking care of a house and trying to get my GED at the age of 21. When my son was little I would sleep on the floor next to his crib. One day as I was holding him and doing school work his dad came home and started on me he slapped my face instead of crying I stood up and laid pillows around the baby next I picked up my ashtray and I threw it at his head and I picked up my son and diaper bag and walked to my moms. That was the last time anyone would hit me.

I meet my daughter dad he was amazing he was my best friend. 2 years into our relationship I found out I was pregnant. I was happy but scared to death cause the doctors told me that there would be a chance that if I ever had a little girl she could end up with lupus (SLE) I didn't want that to happen but also come to find out that my son could be a carrier for it.

Found out that I was in advance Lupus part of me knows that the time is getting closer but the fighter in me won't give up. I finally found happiness and love with someone. He completes me like I found my other half. He came into my life at a bad time my dad just passed away and I fell into a deep depression. Then one day I saw this picture of a guy laying next to a beautiful pit bull. Anytime I would post something about me wanting to give up he would always be there to comfort me he understands cause he lost his father to. We started talking and now we are getting married. All I ever wanted was to have a family before I died. This man has been a true blessing and I really appreciate everything he has done for me. Holds me when I cry, tells me how beautiful I am and he doesn't see me being sick. I love you Jeremy.