MY TWO FACED GIRLFRIEND

Chapter 8 -Head And Tail

I am happy. Yung saya na nararanasan ko ngayon was far different from the happiness I felt before. Ewan ko kung anong meron sa kanya pero mula ng magkalapit kami ni Rose ay nag-iba na ang lahat sa akin. Ni hindi na pumasok sa mind ko even for a single minute si Selena. My mind is occupied now with one girl alone.

Hindi ko alam kung paano niya ito nagawa but every time I am with her, every time I see her, every time she smiles and how her cheeks blushed ay unti-unti lumalapit ang loob ko sa kanya. Little by little, I am experiencing this feeling na alam ko kung saan patungo. In a short span of time ay nagulat rin ako kung bakit ganun na lang kabilis na ma-divert ang attention ko sa kanya.

Rose is different from all the girls I have met. Although noong una ay aaminin ko na iba ang tingin ko sa kanya dahil minsan mabait siya sa akin at minsan ay suplada. But as I got to know her and know that soft side of her personality, I started to enjoy her company. Hinahanap-hanap ko na siya sa tuwing hindi ko siya nakikita. I am always excited to go to school because of her. I know where this is heading, alam ko kung saan ito patungo kaya masaya ako dahil alam ko na mabuting tao si Rose at hindi ako magkaka-mali kung sakali man na dumating ang time na ligawan ko siya at maging kami. But for now siguro ay ie-enjoy ko na muna na ganito kami. I will just enjoy our closeness and will just let fate decide kung kailan ang right time para i-level up ang relationship namin.

Today is Saturday, meaning bukas ay wala kaming pasok at hindi ko rin makikita si Rose. I will be missing her presence for a day tomorrow kaya balak ko ay yayain siya mamaya to go out with me again. If my memories are right, ang alam ko ay pareho kami na half day lang classes ngayon. So I can invite her out later after class. Excited akong nag-prepare for class at maaga rin akong umalis kahit pa mamaya pang 8 ang first class ko. Gusto ko na makita ko si Rose bago pa ang first class niya. Hindi na ako nag-breakfast sa condo and planned to just eat at the cafeteria later.

Pagdating ng campus ay maaga pa. Ilan pa lang ang mga students na nakikita ko. Kahapon nasabi sa akin ni Rose na 7:30 daw ang first class niya so any minute from now ay darating na rin siya. I waited patiently at the benches na malapit sa gate para makita ko agad siya the minute she arrives. 15 minutes before 7:30 ay nakita ko siyang bumaba ng car. I quickly stood up as I finger combed my hair bago nagsimula na maglakad para salubungin siya. Nang malapit na ako sa kanya, I automatically smile widely at her.

“Hi, Rose. Good morning.” I said with glee. Napahinto siya ng lakad and looked at me. Her facial expression is somewhat incomprehensible. Nakatingin lang siya sa akin na para bang nakatulala pero hindi siya nakatulala. There is sharpness in her eyes.

“Ivan, you’re early.” She replied afterwards.

“Inagahan ko talaga para makausap ka before your first class, Rose.”

“Really now. Why? What about?” There is something by the way she speaks now. Parang iba from the way she spoke the previous days pero hindi ko na lang pinansin.

“Hindi ba ay until lunch lang ang class mo today? I was wondering if I could invite you out. We could go to the mall again if you want.” Her eyebrow instantly arched and she looked at me with sheer amusement.

“What came into your mind na sasama ako sayo?” nabigla ako sa sarcastic na sagot niya.

Oh man. Mukhang hindi yata ulit maganda ang gising ngayon ni Rose. Nagbalik ang pagiging mataray niya sa akin.

“I am just hoping that you might. You know, just like yesterday. But that is if you are just free, Rose. Kung wala ka lang naman ibang gagawin or ibang lakad after class.” She smiled at me but her smile didn't reach her eyes.

“Ganun ba? I’m sorry to burst your bubbles, Ivan, but I can’t come with you. Not today and not ever again.” ms nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. My forehead creased as questions bombarded my mind.

Anong nangyari? Bakit ganito ngayon sa akin si Rose? Kahapon lang ay maayos naman kami. Masaya pa nga siya kahapon. I don’t remember anything na nagawa ko para maging ganito ang treatment niya sa akin all of a sudden. Bakit niya sinabi na not today and not ever? Anong nangyari? Bakit biglang ganito siya sa akin? What did I do for her to act harsh to me now?

“May nagawa ba ako yesterday or nasabi, Rose, para sabihin mo sa akin na not ever?” tanong ko na naguguluhan. She just stares at me blankly.

“Let me get this straight, Ivan. Not because we have been together for quite some time doesn’t mean we are already close. Don’t get me wrong but I don’t consider you to be one of my friends. I have my own set of friends but not here on campus. I don’t have friends here and I don’t plan to have one.” biglang nabura ang ngiti sa lips ko and I suddenly feel pain inside my heart. “Please stop tailing me. Pwede ba yun? Naiirita kasi ako kapag may susunod-sunod sa akin na parang aso.” Her words made me step back. “And Ivan, please don’t ever invite me again. Sayang lang ang laway mo pati ang effort mo because from this day on, there will never be a chance wherein I will join you anywhere.” She said while smiling.

Hindi ko akalain na biglang magkakaganito si Rose. Biglang nag-iba ulit ang pakikitungo niya sa akin. All of a sudden, she became harsh on me again na parang noong una lang.

Malungkot ko siyang pinagmasdan as she walked away from me. I don’t know what I did para maging ganito ang trato niya sa akin ngayon. I am trying to think of any possible violations ko sa kanya para maging ganito kagaspang niya akong kausapin. But I can’t think of any. Siguro nga ay hindi maganda ang gising ngayon ni Rose kaya pati ako ay nadamay pa. Bagsak ang balikat na nagpunta na lang ako sa varsity lockers and waited there until my first class of the day.

—

As I head to my first class ay hindi nawala ang smirk sa lips ko. It’s a good thing na si Ivan na mismo ang lumapit sa akin now, at least I don’t need to look for him at the campus ground just to talk to him. He just gave me a favor at hindi pa ako nahirapan.

Although sinabi ko na kay Hyacinth yesterday to stop mingling with anyone here on the campus, especially that Ivan guy, I know to myself that my twin sister cannot do what I have asked of her. She is not bold enough to tell it personal kay Ivan at alam ko na hindi niya ito magagawa. Knowing Hyacinth, how shy and timid she is especially in front of other people, kaya alam ko na malabo niyang sabihin kay Ivan na layuan na siya nito. I already planned this yesterday pa. Since I will be the one to go to school today, plan ko na talaga na hanapin at kausapin si Ivan para matapos na ang kabaliwan ng kapatid ko.

Hindi ko ba maintindihan sa twin sister ko kung bakit nakipag-close pa sa lalaking yun. Although wala naman sanang mali kaya lang ay she is not the type to socialize and mingle around. Kaya nagulat at talaga ako yesterday when she suddenly acted weird. I have a gut feeling also that she is starting to like that guy. Iba ang kutob ko judging by the way she smiled yesterday and by the way her eyes sparkled. But that cannot be. Hindi pwede. Hindi ako papayag na nagkaroon siya ng relationship with a man tapos ako ay single. Kung meron man sa aming dalawa ang dapat na magkaroon ng relationship, that’s me. I should be the one and not her. Simply because I am much prettier than her and I am more sophisticated than her. Dapat sa kanya ay maging forever single dahil hindi naman siya appealing unlike me. Kaya hindi pwede. I will not allow it at pipigilan ko siya to achieve happiness with someone hanggang hindi ako nakapag-settle down.

It should always be me at the front line at siya ay laging nasa likuran ko lang. Ganun naman kami ever since at dapat maging ganun lang until the end. Don’t get me wrong, I love my twin sister. I love Hyacinth. She’s my better half. It’s just that I am used to being on the top and I don’t want to be a second placer sa lahat ng bagay. Hindi ako sanay and I don’t think that I would ever be accustomed to being the second best. Besides, sa tingin ko naman ay ayos lang kay Hyacinth ang setup namin tutal naman ay ako pa rin ang eldest sa aming dalawa by minutes. I am still the eldest so it is but natural that I will be the head sa aming dalawa. Just like in a coin that has a head and tail, I am the head and Hyacinth is the tail.

When I got home, I saw my twin in the living room reading her book. Masaya akong lumapit sa kanya to tell her what I have accomplished today. Hindi na siya mag-iisip pa ng way kung paano kakausapin ang Ivan na yun. I did it for her para hindi na rin siya mahirapan pa. She immediately smiled at me the minute she saw me.

“Hi, Twin. How’s your day at school?”

“Magnificent.” I said, exaggeratingly.

“Really? Wow! That’s good to hear.”

“Ask me why, Hyacinth.” I ecstatically uttered.

“Okay. Why?” She put down her book and her eyeglasses before facing me.

“Solve na ang problema mo with Ivan. I already talked to him in the campus kanina. He approached me the minute I entered the gate. Kaya ayun, sinabi ko na sa kanya.” I watched her with delight as she gazed at me with confusion.

“You told him what?”

“Kung ano ang sinabi ko sayo yesterday. Hindi ba sinabi ko sayo na huwag ka ng dumikit-dikit pa sa lalaking yun? Na huwag ka narin makipag-mingle with others especially to that guy? Kaya sinabihan ko siya not to befriend me and not to follow me around while I am inside the campus.” Her eyes bulge with disbelief at mas lalo akong natuwa when I see sadness in them. My inner self is rejoicing right now. Sinasabi ko na nga ba ay ganito ang magiging reaction niya the moment I told her what I did and said to Ivan. Halata naman kasi sa kanya na type niya ang lalaking yun. She lowered down her head kaya umangat ang isang kilay ko with sarcasm.

Buti nga sayo. Anong akala mo, Hyacinth? Papayag ako na maunahan mo ako sa lahat ng bagay? Do you think I will permit you to be ahead of me in having a relationship? Even if sabihin mo pa na friends lang kayo ng Ivan na yun, doon rin mauuwi ang lahat. You will fall for that guy and he is on you at ang end, magiging kayo. So no way, twin sister! Hindi pwede. Hindi ako papayag na maging masaya ka bago ang kaligayahan ko.

“Bakit mo naman sinabihan ng ganun si Ivan, Rose? That was rude of you. For sure nasasaktan ang tao sa sinabi mo.” Pain is evident in her words.

“Bakit hindi ko sasabihin eh dapat nga malaman na niya agad para alam na niya ang gagawin niya everytime he sees you. So the problem is solved. Hindi ka na lalapitan ni Ivan if you are there. I did you the favor of telling him what we have talked about. Hindi ka na nahirapan, right?” I smiled sweetly at her.

“Sana hinayaan mo na lang na ako ang kumausap sa kanya, Rose. I bet Ivan is hurt right now knowing how frank you are.” I just shrug my shoulders before leaning back at the cushion.

“Ayaw mo ba yun, Hyacinth? I saved you from the trouble of facing him with bad news. Hindi ka na nahirapan. And now that Ivan is out of sight, you can focus more at school ng walang langaw na gumugulo sayo.”

Tuwang-tuwa ako sa nakikita ko ngayon. The inner Rose is rejoicing right this very minute. Kulang na lang ay harap-harapan niya kong makita na tumatawa ng malakas dahil once again, I have triumphantly succeed in ruling over her.

I watched her with gladness as she quietly mourn na para may namatay sa itsura niya. Hindi na siya nagsalita pa and just silently sit. Nang maumay ako na tingnan siya, I hastily stood up and leave her with a huge smile on my face.

—

I never thought Rose would do such a shameful act like that. I never imagine na magagawa niya ang ginawa niya kay Ivan. I knew my sister so well. Alam ko ang pagiging taklesa niya, ang pagiging prangka niya at kilalang-kilala ko siya. Sasabihin niya kung ano ang gusto niyang sabihin regardless if she will hurt someone’s feelings. Wala siyang pake kung masaktan man niya ang kausap niya. Basta ang sa kanya ay masabi niya ang gusto niyang sabihin. Kaya alam ko na ganun ang ginawa niya kay Ivan. Alam ko na pinrangka niya ito and sinabihan ng masakit.

I can’t help but to feel sad for Ivan. For sure ay nagulat siya sa mga narinig niya and for sure ay nasaktan siya ng husto. Kahit naman sabihin na friends lang ang relationship na meron kami, masakit pa rin na masabihan ng ganun.

Hindi ko tuloy maiwasan na mahiya sa ginawa na ito ng kakambal ko. Sana ay hinintay na lang niya ako na ako ang magsasabi at kumausap kay Ivan. Hindi yung siya mismo ang kumausap dito. Nakakahiya ang ginawang ito ni Rose. Ako ang nahihiya kay Ivan dahil sigurado na napahiya siya. I can’t imagine what he looked like kanina while Rose was talking to him. Huminga ako ng malalim and pouted.

Kahit kailan talaga ay may katabilan ang bibig ni Rose. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ganito siya samantalang magkakambal kami kaya dapat kahit paano ay magkapareho kami ng ugali. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung paano ako haharap kay Ivan when it is my turn to go to school.

“Nakakainis ka naman, Rose. Sana, you just let me talk to him. Pwede ko naman gawin ang inutos mo sa akin in a much nicer way. Hindi yung sinaktan mo yung tao na wala naman ginawa sayo o sa akin na masama. I hate you, Rose. Napaka mo talaga kahit kailan.” I murmured under my breath while my tears were falling. “I am terribly sorry, Ivan. I am really sorry that you have to deal with my sister’s brute attitude. Sorry talaga, Ivan.” mabilis akong tumayo at tinakbo ang way papunta sa room ko.

Pagpasok ko sa loob ay agad kong ni-lock ang door and ran towards my bed. I cried hard facing my pillow. Masama ang loob ko sa ginawang ito ni Rose. Palagi na lang siya ang nasusunod. Lagi na lang ang gusto niya ang laging nangyayari. Nakakainis talaga. It is always her. I hate her everytime she does this to me. Pero wala naman akong magawa kung hindi ang sarilinin lang ang sama ng loob ko dahil ayoko naman na magtalo at mag-away pa kaming dalawa. Isa pa ay binigyan niya ako ng favor na makalabas ako dito sa mansion. May utang na loob ako sa kanya kaya hindi ko dapat siya awayin. Baka kasi kapag inaway ko siya ay hindi na siya pumayag na ako ang pumasok sa school in behalf niya.

I hate being the weakling. I hate myself for being this weak and being a loser. Lagi na lang ganito na siya ang nasa taas at ako ang nasa ilalim. Kailan kaya na ako naman ang nasa itaas? Kailan kaya na ang gusto ko naman ang susundin niya? Kailan kaya na ako naman ang magde-decide sa dapat naming gawin? I feel sorry for myself but I can’t do anything to contradict my sister’s decision dahil noon pa man ay lagi na lang siya ang ahead sa aming dalawa.

—--’--,-’-{@