Betrayed by the heart

No rush. I woke up early but stayed in bed thinking, today is the only day I reminisce about what happened years ago. It's the only day I let my emotions come through the walls I built . I call it my sad anniversary. 28th March, ten years ago I was a mess. Sitting outside on the porch late at night rehearsing how to tell my mom that am pregnant and can't find a trace of who the father is. He vanished. Didn't exist. Like a ghost. I had no more tears to shed, I was going to be a mother at 20 years old. I was sure no matter the outcome of my mom, abortion was not an option . Morning came early and I decided it's now or never I found my mom making coffee "mom" I started "good morning to you too young lady . Hurry up I'll drop you off to university " she replied without looking at me. I stayed rooted in place which had her lifting her eyes to me confused, shocked with my state, red swollen eyes , red nose I’d moved past tears, past sobbing, to a convulsing, ragged-breath squall." Sit and tell " with all the rehearsals I had words couldn't come out. Looking at her , a single mother, independent, successful in her business, never afraid of anything except ruining her reputation. She was always perfect at whatever she did in the public eye but a robot at home. More afraid of how to start, still in my thoughts I hear her ask calmly "Are you pregnant?" I just nod my head waiting for hell to break. She swallowed and blinked a few times, the tears drying up as if she regretted losing control. Her expression tightened as if all of her facial muscles were holding in her emotions and only just managing to contain them. She didn't ask how far I was or how how I felt or who is responsible all she said was " congratulations, get ready to move out of my house. I'll pay for your rent for the first year, give you allowance for the next 6 months but, but she repeated away from this city. You are not going to stain my name with your stupidity forget you have a mother ." By now she's lost all control she's screaming at me " unless you decide to get rid of it " she lowers her voice a bit with hopeful eyes . I shake my head no not trusting my voice and like that she storms out and that was the last day I saw my mom. Even though we didn't have a mother daughter bond I thought about her. She kept her word but sent me to another city away from her . Her driver drove me throughout the night to another city where she had rented a 2 bedroom apartment for me and made sure I was settled in before he left me to my new life. The landlord was welcoming an old sweet lady probably in her early sixties. Aunt Ram. She checked on me daily for the first week until she thought I was ready to talk, asked why am not enrolling in school? I couldn't afford school , the allowance I was going to get for 6 months was to support me basically I needed to find a job and a friend hopefully. Aunt Ram asked about the father of the baby after telling her why I was staying alone and not going to university, I called his phone on a daily basis but it was still switched off I had no idea where to find him or how to. She asked a friend of hers who needed help in the shop about me and was employed within three weeks . I didn't know how far I was since I had only checked with the 3 tests . I had to go to hospital with the first allowance I was to get next week. I got a daily routine of working hard at the shop during day and crying myself to sleep at night . Wednesday I got an appointment for Friday to visit the hospital. Friday morning I went to hospital first, the nurse called " Rayah Harth " "that's me " please follow me. She was pretty and appealing.seemed in her early 20s, we entered the doctor's room, "please sit down and don't be nervous. Are you alone?" " yes" I answered quietly "ok. Am Zara Adams your nurse for today. We are going to write some information here and take urine and blood for some tests as the doctor comes." By the time she had written all she needed a lady doctor came in all put together but had a kind face too . " hey Rayah. Am doctor Tamrah Afat , will be your guide throughout every visit here. Be comfortable. You're going to lie down on that bed behind you for a scan . We need to see what's happening in there!" I was beyond comfortable now. The scan showed 10 weeks and was given prenatal vitamins to take daily. I didn't have a baby, I had two babies and was scared as hell. Zara and I exchanged numbers and became friends since then. We struggled through the 38 weeks of pregnancy and labour to get my adorable babies Talha and Taria Harth . Boy and girl. "Mommy?" Talha calls at my door . " Honey you're old enough to make breakfast for yourself. Mommy is off today, remember it's 28th March!" " oohhh sorry I forgot, I'll pray for grandma to rest peacefully, I'll make breakfast for Taria too and you" "thank you " "sooo aunt Zara is coming over?" He asks "obviously " Taria shouts back. "Morning sweet mother "she adds. And just like that the morning passes till the twins go to school. At 9 years they help with everything around the house and I try to make them happy not to lack or miss anything. "Honey am home and hungry "Zara shouts from downstairs. She has spare keys to my house and I have to hers. She comes up to my room hugs me and says "let this be the last year you cry for that loser please he's probably dead" " only today in a year , once a year I not only cry for him but my mother too. She would at least call me just to make sure am alive. I had to lie to the twins that am an orphan, they pray for her to rest in peace every year on this day. Am glad I met you my nurse. " " you're nurse is heavily pregnant and needs food. Let's go out for lunch please , for me ?!" " okay, let me freshen up " We just walk to the nearby restaurant . We pass by Aunt Ram who still checks on me even after moving to a new apartment 4 years after birth. I saved up from the shop and went back to complete school and got a better job . We enter the restaurant and it's awfully quiet and whispers everywhere. " what's with the aura here ?" Zara whisper asks me!