In The Name of Lust

CHAPTER 19

“YOU’RE a witch, you know. You made me feel things I thought weren’t programmed into my system. You made me realize the difference between s*x and lovemaking. What I had with other women, that’s s*x. What we did, that’s lovemaking.”

“Ano ba ang pinagsasasabi mo diyan?” Naiintindihan ni Janna ang sinasabi nito pero hindi niya alam kung tama ba ang intindi niya.

Parang natauhan bigla si Arion. Binitawan siya nito, tumalikod ito sa kanya at inihilamos ang mga palad sa mukha saka ipinilig ang ulo.

“I...I just want to...do something I never did before. That is to tell a woman what I feel. You...you mean something to me. No, you mean A LOT to me. Maybe this is what they call...l-love. But because I have never been in love before, I can’t tell for sure. This much is true, though. I have never felt this way towards any other woman in my life. Kagaya ng sinabi ko sa iyo noon, I don’t fall in love. So imagine my surprise and confusion when I realized that falling in love might just be what is happening to me. You and Dave...”

“Wala kaming relasyon ni Dave.”

“I don’t care what you are to each other. I want you in my life and I am prepared to fight just so...” Natigilan ito. “What did you say?” Parang noon lang tumagos sa utak nito ang sinabi niya.

“Wala kaming relasyon ni Dave,” ulit niya para siguradong malinaw ang lahat. “Close kami, oo. Siya rin ang dahilan kaya ako napasama sa grupo and he did change my life. For a while I thought there is something between us. Pero malinaw na sa akin ngayon. I feel affection for him but it’s not love. It doesn’t come close to what I feel for you.”

Tumingin ito sa mga mata niya. “And just exactly what do you feel for me? Lust?”

“Yes, lust. That is what I feel for you. Overwhelming lust,” sagot niya. “But that’s also because I feel overwhelming affection for you, too. Maybe I can even call it...love.”

Humugot ng hininga si Arion. Parang na-overwhelm ito sa pahayag niya.

“But damn you for making me feel this way,” patuloy niya. “For making me fall in love with you even if I didn’t want to. It was just a bargain we made. Pero...pero...”

“Pero hindi natapos iyong usapan natin kung saan lang natin iyon gustong matapos,” sabad nito. “I had to conquer my fears before I was able to admit the one truth I discovered. I want you in my life. I need you in my life. If you will have me.”

“Mahal mo ako pero kaya mong sirain ang isang bagay na alam mong naging mahalaga na sa akin. Ang isla at...”

“Wala akong balak sirain ang kahit ano.”

“Dinig na dinig ko iyong sinabi ng sugo mo. Construction will begin in the island...”

“Para i-improve iyong facilities. Alam naman natin pareho na nagde-deteriorate na ang lugar.”

“Pero ang sabi dati ni Dave ay ayaw mo raw makipag-deal sa kanya.”

“True. Balak ko rin noon na ituloy ang plano ko na gawing luxury resort itong isla. But the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I am doing that just to spite you. I simply discovered that I love you and that is more important. You are my happiness. So if you want to break me, you can easily do it,” usal ni Arion habang hinahaplos-haplos siya nito.

“I’d never break something that completed me,” tugon ni Janna. And she knew that her seemingly endless seach for someone to belong to is finally over.

Ilang buwan lang ang dumaan ay idinaos ang inaguration ng center na natapos na ang pagre-remodel. Kasama sa mga um-attend ay ang mga magulang ni Janna. Bumalik lang siya sandali sa siyudad para kausapin ang mga ito at ipakilala sa mga ito si Arion. She made peace with them so that she won’t be harboring any bad feelings when she returned to the island to continue on as a volunteer for the environment.

Ipinakilala rin siya ni Arion sa daddy nito. The older man seemed more at peace. Na-involve rin daw ito sa isang advocacy kaya siguro napayapa na kahit paano ang kalooban nito.

After the simple ceremony at the center, she and Arion went to the islet and had their oww private – and steamy – celebration.

W A K A S