ABANDONED DREAMS

Prologue Freddy I came to South Africa from America, my country of birth. It seemed the place to go to make changes.  That included making cash. A large amount of it. My country was oversaturated with businessmen. This made the opportunities to make money much less than in countries like South Africa. Through my research, I found that this country was in short supply of big machines to build roads and bridges. Which they were in dire need of to move forward. It seemed obvious to me that in order to make money and help build up this country, especially as they were in the throes of a*******d, I should come and take over the business of building those roads and bridges. Helping to modernize the country, employ those who would otherwise not be employed and build and name and fortune for myself.  The only reason that I was in this business was because of my loyalty to my father. My father left me with it when he died and I had to make him proud even though he was no longer with us. I grew up without my mother. My father raised me as a the best he could without a woman in the house to add that tenderness and love that mothers brought with them. Always being one to want to make my father proud, I decided to grow big. South Africa was the first country to come into  my thoughts when I thought of travelling to make a better living for myself and family I wished to build. I had to leave my friends and family so that I can further my business and get other opportunities for it to grow. No that I say South Africa was poor but it lacked such construction as mine. It wasn't a place of peace by then but since  some of the people I knew came here, I thought I'd be a good opportunity for me. My brother also went to do his business far from home but in our continent. He was one of the smartest kids my parents had. All those I learnt from him. South Africa was also prime for war, discrimination and all those things were happening during that era. It was the a*******d era and being who I was, myself and people like me were favored by the ones who owned this country of South Africa. I didn't like how they discriminated against the blacks in their own country. Hell, we had the same issues back at home in America. With that, it wasn’t foreign to me. Yet, who was I to change anything on a large scale?  I was just a regular person. I wished to make a difference, But I couldn't. Not in any way that would really matter. So, I did what I knew I could do. I went about building my business, still wondering what I could do to help these country’s race relations. Even though I thought about it, it didn’t become a priority to me until I met a woman. Her name was Emmy and I met her in the market. Her coffee colored skin, brown eyes and curly brown hair kept me mesmerized. In that moment, what tribe she belonged to and the color of her skin meant less than nothing to me. I just wanted to know her. Meeting her caught me completely off guard. In the best way, even. She was different than any woman I had ever met or dated. There was one glaring difference. Like I said, she was a black woman. And very intelligent by our times. She would sometimes put my knowledge on politics and many other subjects to shame. We would meet in that market for weeks, pretending that it was by chance. Then we would walk and talk. I know people assumed she worked for me. As long as they thought that to be the cases, it kept the looks and questions to a minimum. Lots of people came to the market with their workers. My heart was all in with her in a small amount of time. There were those who didn’t understand. Once it was out in the open that she wasn’t my employee, People had lots to say. They didn’t seem to feel as though  they had to keep their opinions to themselves either. Making their disdain for our relationship clear.  I didn't like it when my fellows criticized us. It got to me especially. Since I loved everything about her. Everything that made her who she was. That included her tribe and culture. They didn’t understand how much she taught me. And how much more I wanted to learn from her and her people. I fell in love with her more deeply every day. Despite the fact the laws that forbade us from being together. I didn’t care for it. My heart was hers. I asked her to marry me anyway. Consequences be damned.  We stayed at Johannesburg where the a*******d was highly rated. I was not unaware of how the government treated the black people. Nor did I condone it. Emmy worried about what would happen if the wrong person decided that they were against our relationship. She was ready to walk away from me. Not just for her safety.  But also for the safety of myself and the well-being of my company. She knew how much that meant to me. Where she was wrong, she underestimated how much I cared for her. How much I she meant to me. I needed to let her know. One day, as we met for a picnic, I decided to pour my heart out to her. She unpacked the basket as I watched. I put my hand on hers and stopped her. Then, taking her hand in mine and using my other to rub her face. She took my hand and held it against her smooth, blemish free dark skin. One of the things I loved the most about her. Our biggest difference was my biggest love of her. “Emmy, I wanted to tell you something.” “And what is that? Is the food too seasoned for your American palate?” she asked with a teasing smile  in that accent that rolled off of her tongue and planted her more deeply into my heart. We both laughed as she teased me. I then took a deep breath so that I could confess to her fully how I felt. I didn’t want her to think that this was some fetish or game for me. “The first time I laid my eyes on you was the moment I fell in love with you. I don't care of whatever the tribe differences between us. I need you to make me the happiest man in the world and be with me. Marry  me.” I said to her. Her response was not what I thought it would have been. But then again, knowing her, it didn’t surprise me in the least bit. “How could you love me while your people are discriminating against my people? It is all fine and  good when we sneak around and spend time with each other. But to marry you, I can’t help but think I would be letting down, not only my family and tribe. No, I would be disappointing my country. My country that still fights to have what people who look like you deny us.” There were lots of things on her face. Confusion and anger was among them. What could I say to dispute the truth? Take away her worry? It’s not as if she was speaking any  untruths. All she said were facts. I didn't know to say after she told me that because indeed my people killed many of them and discriminated them. Even though I wouldn’t exactly call them my people. Not just because they looked like me. No, I couldn’t claim people who would hate others just because of the color of their skin. I didn’t do it in America and I wouldn’t do it here. I needed to know what would make her comfortable. What would make her love me and allow me to love her the way that my heart yearned to every minute of every day. “You know that I think the oppressive climate here is wrong. Please don’t paint me with the brush that you use on those who look at you and your tribe with disdain. You know very well that isn’t me. You tell me.  What can I do to make you feel better? Safer? Less like someone who is betraying their people for love? I  would do anything you ask a thousand times over.” She leaned back and thought for a few moments before she answered. I studied her, waiting for her to tell me what it was I could do. “First. We can’t love each other here. Johannesburg will surely be the death of one, if not both of us. Their disdain for us runs too deeply. We would have to leave.” she told me. It made sense to me. I had money and no reason not to leave. And one very good reason to go. Her love. I promised that we would leave as soon as possible. We settled on Mokopane. It was her hometown. She missed it. She also knew that we would be excepted more there than where we were. But at least I made a promise that I will get away with her to another place so that they cannot realize that we are together. Yes. Mokopane is where we would live our lives. Johannesburg was where she would continue her studies to become a doctor. That had been the dream of her and her family since she was a child. Her parents were dead. They had been killed as they fought back against the oppression of the whites. She had every reason to be weary of me and everyone that looked like me. I understood that fully. She wanted to complete everything that she knew would make them happy. Even if they were no longer alive. That included work and studies. Even though I could care for her financially, I knew she wouldn’t be happy without something for herself. For right now, that was it. I loved her passion and her mind. I would support any endeavor that she wanted to pursue. That’s how much I loved her. As for me, I would continue to build my business and good name in as many towns as I could. And I knew that I could do that along with anything else I wanted. As long as I had her by my side. For her good name and reputation, we lived apart for the time being. I bought a house that would be big enough to raise a family in one day. A family with Emmy. As that was my dream. She stayed in the home that she grew up in with her parents. It had sentimental value for her. She did not come from a wealthy background, so the house was in some disrepair. I had renovations done to it to make it livable and comfortable for her. Both she and her brother appreciated this. Another thing I decided to do was to bring part of my business there to her hometown. That would allow me to put some of the people there to work. Thus, helping to build up the economy of this poor  little town. Doing this made sure that my name was known and trusted amongst many of the people and tribes  there. Here I was, a wealthy white man, looking out for the interest of those that came from there. Not abusing  them or any perceived power that the color of my skin brought me. This changed the way I viewed there and in other places. People began to care less and less about the fact that I was in love with Emmy. And that she, the daughter of freedom fighters, was in love with me. When  they heard that we were planning to marry, they were as happy as we were about it. There was a catch. Emmy  wanted to wait a few years while she finished her medical studies. My love for her saw that I would wait for her as long as I needed to. Right here in South Africa. I have no problem admitting that I had began to love it here more than I did my own country. I had no plans on turning back. I was successful, I was known, and I was loved right here. Once she was done, we wed on November 13th, 1995. Having spent years to get to this point. Both of us pursuing our goals and dreams before we married, we decided to begin working on a family right away. We had built this life and couldn’t wait to share it with children. There was no need to wait. As a matter of fact, I felt as if we had waited long enough. Leaving my company with my trusted personal assistants, we left for out honeymoon. Our honeymoon was in lovely Dubai. I had some ties there as my brother had married to Dubai and married a woman from  there. He was there for business when he met his lovely wife. I had contacted him and let him know of the wedding and our honeymoon plans. He had left to go back to Dubai right after our wedding. He had business  there and wanted to be sure that all was ready to greet us when we arrived. We could see each other after years  apart. Our wives could also get to know us and each other. We stayed in their large home with them during our honeymoon. They seemed happy and to be doing well. They said the same of us. After spending some weeks there on our honeymoon, it came time to return to  South Africa. The country that I now considered my own. The house that I had bought while Emmy and I lived apart before our marriage had been made ready to receive her by my housekeeper, Mrs. Manala. She had been with me for years. Emmy loved the house as did I. However, there were some better business opportunities arising got me in the city of Polokwane. I met many businessmen there who were eager to have dealings with me. It only made sense to make another home near there at Mahwelereng. So, that is where Emmy and I made our permanent home.