Free Falling

13|Cloud Nine

Stars sprinkled over the blanket of darkness layering the atmosphere. The cold breeze was muffled by my thick jacket that also provided as a makeshift blanket as I laid in the middle of the baseball field. It wasn't raining, but the grass was slippery between my fingers and the dirt had turned into dried mud. With one hand, I tugged on the bottom of my hoodie to secure it over my head.

Everything was distant, a faded noise shoved to the back of my mind like an afterthought. With the stars looming over me and the earth becoming dark as if it had failed to pay the light bill and had its lights shut off, I felt like I was in space. I felt as if I could easily reach up and touch the stars. Maybe that was me thinking randomly, or maybe it was the thing between my fingers that disrupted my thinking process.

Cloud filled my vision as I exhaled. The wisp of smoke danced in the air then dispersed with a wave of my hand. I giggled. My insides were fuzzy like I'd been stuffed with cotton balls. My hands and feet were numb like I'd been sedated. My head...my head was the closest thing to a bobblehead. And no matter how much saliva produced in my mouth, it still felt dry.

Raising my hand to my face, I placed the joint in between my cracked lips and inhaled deeply. I held it for a few seconds before my lungs screamed for mercy. I flicked the ashes off and repeated the process until my fingers burned from the shortness of the joint. I mashed the opposite end into the wet grass but didn't move from my spot.

The stars didn't look like stars anymore. They looked like dots. Small, small dots of light staring back at me. The moon looked like a white cookie with grey holes. I giggled, and my head involuntarily rolled over to the side. I didn't have the energy to lift or roll it back, so I was forced to stare at four silhouettes walking my way.

"Cathy?" The voice sounded a mile away, and I couldn't control the fits of laughter bubbling from my mouth. Tears pricked the corner of my eyes and my stomach clenched painfully, yet I couldn't stop laughing.

I was officially on cloud nine.

"Cathy!" Warm hands grabbed me and hauled me up. Although my vision was blurry at this point, I recognized Miles' face. My eyes focused on his pretty brown skin and eyes, his angular cheekbones, and strong jaw. Reaching out, I traced his jaw with my finger.

"Miles." I didn't recognize my voice. It was a raspy whisper.

"Dude, what the f**k happened to her?" I heard another male voice and whipped my head to see who it was, ready to welcome them to the party. My curiosity turned into surprise when I realized that the rest of the boys were here.

"I'm partying," I scoffed. Then I reached into my back pocket for the rolled joint and a lighter. "You guys want some? You came at the right time."

The items were snatched out of my hands and I frowned, turning to curse out the stupid bastard who stole my stuff.

"She's high." That sounded like Eli. I could tell because of the bass in his voice. His voice was deep. Deeper than a well.

Shit, I am stoned.

"No s**t, Sherlock. You can smell it on her."

"We should take her home."

"So that Kenny can come to the door and chew us out or better yet her parents?"

"Do you have a better idea?"

"Take her to our place." A beat passed. "Just until she's sober, guys. Look at her. We can't let her go home like this. I don't think she'll be happy with us if we do."

"She doesn't look upset to me."

I bared them a wide grin. "Dudes, it's fine," I drawled.

"Oh, god, Preston muttered. "Let's hurry up before someone sees her like this."

I was flying, or at least I thought I was as I was hauled over someone's shoulder. A moment later I was gently placed in the backseat of a warm car. I closed my eyes and settled into the comfortable seats as doors opened and slammed shut. The engine roared to life, and the car lurched forward.

"Cathy, are you okay?" Preston's concerned voice was soothing to my ears. He was always the rational one out of the group, and I had no doubt that he'd suggested taking me to their home. I found myself leaning against his lanky body, his shoulder poking the side of my head, and felt a sense of conformity in his presence.

"I'm alright," I said hoarsely.

The car filled with chatter as everyone engaged in whispered side conversations. Preston hadn't said much to me, probably thinking that I was too spaced to function. The high had worn off just a bit replaced with overwhelming exhaustion, and a yawn stretched open my mouth.

The car stopped in front of the apartment building and everyone filed out. Hands grabbed me again and pulled me out, and before I could protest, I was draped over another shoulder.

"I can carry her."

"Nah, I got her," the voice said below me.

I was carried up the stairs, presumably by Miles, and into the apartment, then carefully placed onto the familiar couch I had sat in the last time I'd been to the apartment. A grin spread across my face as I replaced into the soft cushion, my eyes fluttering close once again.

I didn't know when I fell asleep, but when I woke up, I wasn't on the couch. My eyes blinked opened, meeting the darkness that consumed around me. Pushing aside the warm sheets draped over my body, my bare feet met the carpeted floor which muffled my footsteps as I blindly headed towards the door.

The door creaked open, and I stuck my head out, looking both ways to make sure none of the boys were lurking about, before dashing across the hall into the bathroom. Locking the door behind me, I groaned, running a hand down my face in embarrassment and exhaustion.

My head wasn't pounding like it would have if I'd been drunk, but it still produced a dull throb in the base of my neck. I rubbed the back of my neck and splashed cold water onto my face.

I remembered every occurring event that happened last night, sequentially. I was mortified. The boys had seen a side of me that hadn't existed in over a year. I knew that I was about to walk into an onslaught of judgmental staring, questions, and pity. They were clueless as to what caused me to behave recklessly, but they knew me well enough to notice that I didn't really have my s**t together.

I opened the door and padded out into the living room where the boys sat around on the couches, talking in whispered tones. Miles jerked his head up and met my gaze, giving me a small smile that caused everyone to turn and look at me.

"How are you feeling?" Preston asked tentatively, eyeing me as if I was an endangered animal.

"Hungry," I joked, cracking a smile. I took a seat beside André who scooted over, offering me a tight-lipped smile.

"Want to tell us what that was about last night?" Eli cut in sharply.

I shrugged. "Took a joyride. No biggie."

"No biggie?" he repeated, looking as if I'd just slapped him. "Do you know what could've happened if we didn't show up when we did?"

"Eli," I sighed, rolling my eyes at his semantics, "I know what I was doing. I've done it more times than you can count, and nothing bad has ever happened to me. I can take care of myself."

"Didn't look like that to me. First, we haven't heard from you in days and then we find you with your head so far up in the clouds you could become one with the f*****g sky!"

"What's your point?" I deadpanned.

He opened his mouth to retort but Miles cut in. "We were just worried, Cathy. We haven't seen you so...out of it. First, I thought you were on heavy drugs like ecstasy until you pulled out the blunt. Hell, I didn't peg you for the type."

Preston reached over and grabbed my hand. His green eyes bore into mine, shining like an emerald under the moonlight. "Don't scare us like that again. Please."

André spoke for the first time, his voice low and raspy. "Whatever you're going through, we can help. You were our first friend at Marionne who treated us like normal people. We just want to make sure you know we got your backs with whatever."

"Are you—is she crying?"

Fuck. I jumped up out of my seat like my ass was on fire and stumbled around to find my things.

The boys hopped to their feet as well, protesting my abruptness to flee, and Preston approached me cautiously. They were treating me like a wild animal, and I could sense the familiarity of it all.

"I gotta get out of here," I mumbled. Finding my shoes, I tugged them on hastily and searched for my jacket. After failing, I said "f**k it" and ran for the door. Miles blocked me.

"Cathy, what is going on?"

I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth and shook my head frantically, running my fingers through my disheveled hair. "Move the f**k out my way, Miles."

"Not until you tell us what the hell is going on with you? This isn't you!"

"You don't know me!" I snapped at him. I turned around and flared my eyes angrily at the others who stood around wearing shocked expressions, clearly seeing a side of me they'd never witnessed before. "You don't know me," I repeated softly, my voice cracking under the pressure of my tone. Tears pricked the corner of my eyes and I wiped them away. "I appreciate you all, but there are things you don't need to know. Things that I'm not ready to tell you. So, please," I turned to Miles, "let me go."