her sweet chains

Episode 20

“So why Law?” I asked Ashton as we strode out into the dying September day light. He shrugged vaguely still clearly uncomfortable in this situation as if he was waiting for the punch line of this highly elaborate prank I was playing on him. “You must know at least a little.” I pushed gently, “my reason was my family can you believe that?” I said weakly “my family own a lot of property we have lots of businesses tenancy agreements s**t like that. me being a lawyer makes all that boring crap my responsibility and not some f*****g lawyer we have to pay and trust as much as I trust marmite.” Ashton frowned at me like I was insane; I suppose it was an uncommon metaphor. We walked down the main gravel pathway leading off campus.

“My father was a lawyer apparently.” Ashton said quietly very deliberately avoiding my gaze. “My mom and my step brothers and my step father they were… different that me…I’m f****d up apparently.” He said shrugging as if this was a fact he had heard so much he was now accepting it as fact. “I just figured maybe I must have taken after my father. And I did A level Law and got an A so I do seem to have a bit of a skill for it.” He said shrugging as if this was inconsequential but this conflicted with the gaze he finally raised to mine, a desperate pleading gaze that clearly showed he was resigned he told me something he’d given me all the ammunition I’d need if I wanted to mock him.

“Its tough growing up somewhere were you feel like a freak isn’t it.” I said gently, Ashton smiled slightly for a second before his gaze swung back to the gravel beneath his feet. I was distracted of the necessity of having to find something to say by a tired sounding horn beeping in front of us. I smiled as I spotted Jamie sitting behind the Divers seat of our little red Vauxhall nova. Ashton’s gaze flicked from me to Jamie just once evaluating before they settled back on the ground.

“Hey Princess.” He called leaning out of the open window. “You a lawyer yet?”

“No I think I have to attend at least the second day first.” I said as we drew level with the car.

“Well I thought I’d come get you. You must be starving you’ve been out all day without access to our wonderfully stocked fridge.” I beamed,

“Excellent idea.” I said turning to Ashton who was trying to continue on unnoticed, “Ash.” I called he looked over his shoulder looking truly baffled by my persistent interest in him. “This is my cousin Jamie.”I said brightly pointing at him.

“Hi.” Jamie said brightly raising a hand in a bizarre sort of blokey half wave.

“Fancy some Pizza?” I asked Ashton looked utterly terrified “well, um…no I…um thanks but I…um… I have some stuff to do at home.”

“You sure I won’t order anything weird.” I said sweetly.

“Well…I...um no but thank you.” He said 

“Alright I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said brightly Ashton gaped for a second at me before he nodded and almost ran away, as I walked around the car and slid into the passenger seat. Jamie leaned over and kissed the top of my head.  

“He’s twitchy.” Jamie observed vaguely looking over his shoulder at Ashton who had almost disappeared into the distance. I smiled fondly at his retreating form,

“Yeah I kind of like him he’s a sweetheart.” Jamie smiled as he leaned over yanking the 9mm out of the back of my jeans.

“How did that get there?” I said innocently,

“Not allowed.” he said handing it back to me and I slid it into a hiding place up under the passenger seat,

“I guess I’m a little twitchy too.” I said as Jamie sighed and pushed the car into Gear and eased her away from the kerb.

“I was thinking.” He began.

“Oooh did it hurt.” I muttered, Jamie smiled,

“Do you want to go for a run?”

“Yeah?” I asked raising an eyebrow, “You want to spend all night watching me attempt to shift?” Jamie smiled placidly,

“It’s been about two weeks for me that’s basically the longest it’s been since my first shift I’m getting a little twitchy.” Jamie said glumly.

“Ahh so this little treat is for you.” I said, Jamie shrugged, “then we should defiantly do it.” I smile ruffling his hair.

           Jamie swung the Nova into a small lay-by as the day turned into dusk. We left the car and struggled through the undergrowth into the small wood. Hoping it was secluded enough that we wouldn’t encounter anyone, but it was only very small and surrounded by fields, but that was better than the city. I pulled off the platinum chain I always wore and stashed it inside the glove box safely I would have no problem in loosing everything else but I wouldn’t loose that necklace I’d grown too used to it I would miss its absence too much. We stopped by mutual consent the second the road was blocked from our line of sight. Jamie headed into a small thicket shielding himself, while I just lowered myself down and sat on a tree stump. I closed my eyes and slowly breathed in the scent of the forest calming me as it was combined with all the right sounds, the occasional chirp of a bird a rabbit hopping through the foliage, a squirrel scampering up the tree in front of me. The wolf inside me stirred rising her head sniffing at the air and I could hear her growl as she noticed all that was wrong here. The lack of my boys scent trails washing over me, the distant rumbling sounds of traffic and stupid livestock. The smells lingering on me and Jamie the smell of the city which seemed to linger in the air as if it clung to the very wind desperate to even follow us into the peace of this small haven. A small icicle ran down my back and I swung my head around but saw nothing. I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself and listened to Jamie’s breathing trying to find comfort in that familiar sound. Suddenly the wind changes and whips around my face and I freeze in pure irrational blind panic. I jump to my feet and push my jeans down around my ankles and quickly yank my t-shirt off over my head as the shift over whelmed my limbs. I had no logic to fight it with I was transforming due to pure panic and that was fuelling it. The shift was coming so fast I couldn't have suppressed it even if I wanted to. I vaguely heard Jamie’s paws padding gently out of his thicket as my body writhed in agony at his feet. As the pain slowly receded I collapsed on the warm earth my muzzle pressed into the grass for just a second before I pushed myself up onto slightly wobbly legs. Jamie bounced playfully around at my side clearly keen to play why being in wolf form makes us so much more eager to play I don’t know, but the large grey wolf before me clearly wanted to play. I turn my nose back into the wind my sense of smell is stronger than Jamie’s , but he notices my action and imitated me as the wind sweeps around us again I freeze as I again catch a whiff of what had terrified me, And clearly Jamie did too as he suddenly growled. It wasn’t in a playful Jamie like I was used to hearing he hunched down ready to pounce his ears flat his teeth bared and his growl was a pure threat. I grabbed the fur at the back of Jamie’s neck and shook it gently tying to calm him. Jamie twisted around sharply shaking me off he used his greater size to bash me back herding me back into the shade of a large Oak. He then spun around shifting restlessly as his eyes swept along the forest in front of him seeking out the source of that scent that had fluttered to us on the wind, the scent we both knew a scent we didn’t want to encounter especially here. Because somewhere out there was a wolf a wolf we didn’t know a rogue in pack territory that was never a good thing.

           Jamie stayed in that defensive posture for hours standing like a sentinel seeming to be carved of pure stone as only his eyes shifted around the woodland before us relentlessly seeking out the threat to me. As the sun rose I began butting gently at Jamie’s flank trying to ease him as despite what we had both smelt there had been no sign of this rogue since Jamie had herded me into the hollow before this tree to protect me. Jamie turned and growled at me deep in his throat and pushed me backwards with the top of his head. I snorted placidly as Jamie growled again. I walked back placidly to the base of the tree and lay down my instincts not wanting to let me relax I had smelt a rogue and there were two things that were drilled into us from birth: 1. protect your brothers protect the pack and 2. Rogues in our territory die; rogues will destroy the pack and kill us all if they have a chance. They are everything we can’t be. If they hunt us we fight them our battle with them had been set my generations before us we are at war with them and the very nature of their existence. Derek’s words swam unwelcome through my head. ‘Do you know what they will do if they find out you are out there alone. Jamie won’t be able to protect you they won’t stop, they’ll all want to f*****g rape you or kill you which would you even prefer.’ I growled to myself and laid my nose into the earth breathing in the scent of the grass before me finding the smell of this scent and the complete lack of any foreign scents actually soothing my nerves until I felt the intense pain of my shift begin again and I bit back the shame of allowing Jamie to witness it after all I really didn’t have a choice. Parts of me battled against this shift wanting to simply huddle there and allow Jamie to protect me but my stubbornness wouldn’t allow it. But still this internal conflict meant half of me was tying to shift back and another part of me was battling to stay as a wolf causing my shift to progress so slowly taking a step forward before faltering causing me to have to endure so much more pain that I was used to yet still finally I was able to collapse onto the warm earth panting as I lay curled up in my exhausted human form.

“Jamie.” I panted reaching out to rub a hand though the fur of his back leg. Jamie growled deep in his throat. “There’s nothing out there any more.” I whispered, “We should move.” Jamie just growled.

“If they wanted to attack he would have by now besides there are two of us and anyway this place isn’t defensible if you get hurt what then. Lets get back to the car and I’ll at least have my cell in case and if not at least I can get away.” Jamie shifted clearly uncomfortable with this idea as he growled under his breath. But he clearly understood the merits of this plan as he snorted to me and in his large wolf form he silently trotted to my heels. I kept my nose alert as we silently crept along the short distance back to the car. Jamie of course was more successful at this than me it seemed to be much easier to achieve silence, inwardly I cursed at the clumsiness of my two feet. Jamie’s posture portrayed his strain as his eyes frantically scanned left and right as his ears also swivelled alert to anything that could betray a rogue’s presence. 

“Come on Jay.” I called as we reached the car and I opened the door Jamie jumped over the drivers seat and sat on the floor before the passenger seat sniffing it furiously clearly searching for a rogues scent , resting his chin on the seat wearily a moment later in a gesture I interpreted as an all clear. I sighed and slid into the car before I began beating my head against the steering wheel. “No, no, no, NO.” I snarled my voice becoming louder and louder. Jamie raised his head to snarl loudly at me. “Fine.” I snapped brushing my hair back from my face and quickly slamming the car into gear and dashing towards the city glow in the distance.

           We finally stopped at a parking lot on the city outskirts I stepped quickly around to the boot and pulled out an oversize pair of shorts and a hoodie which had been placed there in case of loss of clothing situations like these. When I was dressed to an at least reasonable level of decency I retrieved Jamie’s set too as the sounds of him shifting back to human form could clearly be heard.  I waited impatiently until the snarling and grunts faded away replaced by Jamie’s heavy exhausted panting. I knocked on the steamed up window,

“Are you decent?” I asked pulling the door open flinging the small bundle of cloth to him. “What time is it?” I asked sliding into the driver’s seat a Jamie slick with sweat slithered around in the passenger seat sliding into his shorts and t-shirt.

“5:48” he said squinting at the tiny clock, I growled

“I have a class in three hours and I have had no sleep and I smell like a tree.”

“What do you mean you have a class?” Jamie snapped “your not going.”

“Just like you’re not calling Darius.”I said snatching the mobile phone he was clutching and flinging it into the back. Jamie smiled mirthlessly,

“Jessie that was rogue that just found you I am calling Darius.”

“You call him he’ll panic and drag me back there by my hair.” I wined

“And so he bloody should. It is my job to look after you Jessie not support your studies.” He snapped

“I am not running home after two weeks I can’t Jay.”

“Jessie this is your life we are talking about I will not sit and wait here until the rogues ALL find out where you are.”

“THEY DON’T KNOW.” I shouted “THE ONLY ONES WHO KNOW ARE IN THE PACK.”

“Jessie.” He said his voice softening as he knew he couldn’t outshout me. “I know you don’t want to go back to him but.”

“Jamie.” I whispered, “I need to be here I need to breathe.”

“I know Jessie that’s what I’m tying to keep you doing.”

“Jay how big is Darius’ territory?” I asked gently, he frowned at me “they don’t catch every rogue who trespasses they can’t .we only learn they are when they start to draw attention to themselves. We could never know how many spend time here all quickly and quietly. I mean whoever this rogue was he disappeared he didn’t try and kill me hell he didn’t come a single step towards us. If anything he ran off. I don't see how that’s a threat to me.”

“Jess.” Jamie said weakly.

“Please Jay I’m just asking for some time just don’t tell them please just let me stay here for a while. If we sniff even the hint of a rogue I’ll let you call him I’ll go home I wont protest I’ll even do all the packing.” I took a deep breath “please Jay it nearly killed me to leave I won’t be able to leave again and I can’t be there now. Please.” Jamie growled running his hands though his hair savagely,

“Damn it Jess I am tying to take care of you.”

“I know.” I sad gently laying a hand gently on his shoulder briefly gripping it.

“No you don’t Jess. I’m a rogue.”

“No your one of the pack now.” I said with a surprising amount of passion.

“Look they accept me yes I’m one of the pack but they still remember what I was you get hurt I’m dead.”

“Jay.” I said truly dumbfounded “they’d never.”

“Yes they would Jessie.”

“No Jay I would NEVER let that happen to you.” Jamie smiled a slight blush appearing on his cheek he truly was still my Jamie. He reached out and stroked my cheek with a single finger just once.

“How many times have you saved my life.” he sighed “I guess I owe you everything so I’ll trust you but Jessie you can’t lie to me if those rogues find out you here.”

“I know we’ll go I promise.” Jamie suddenly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug before gently kissing my forehead.

“What would you say to some breakfast?” I asked brightly,

“I’d say you’re a genius.” He said as a smiled and started the car up.