her sweet chains

Episode 31

The next few days were thoroughly uncomfortable, for me Jamie and my Ashton especially my Ashton. Jamie was angry at me although he of course was covering this as well as he could and he was angry with himself he felt that he had let me down as I could have been hurt I’d wondered off he hadn’t noticed and in his opinion I could have died. I kept apologizing but that of course didn’t help as he was angry with himself more than me. And my Ashton well that was worse poor thing. Jamie had concocted a story for him before I even got home it wasn’t bad it just involved us all getting very drunk and him passing out on the sofa, but he was completely horrified by the fact that he couldn’t remember a thing. Which made me feel like a complete git especially when he tentatively asked me if we had found his mobile as he seemed to have lost it that night. I had to bite my lip and lie as the image of him saying in a placid voice “I’m going to call Jamie and let him know that you now were the ones that have his car.” Which I responded to by winding my window down and simply plucking the phone from his hand and flinging it out on the dual carriage way we were flying down. Although I was also feeling pretty sorry for myself too. From that day I called Darius Daily to see how much progress the Enforcers were making in trying to find the murderer. It seemed that progress was not really progressing at all, all the evidence of the rogue if there had ever been one were getting vaguer by the Minute and if there had been a rogue they were smart and they had covered their tracks well. But after those few days Darius still released Derek from the cage as he simply couldn’t prove or disprove anything. But it wasn’t till Friday that I noticed something wrong with him. I had managed to persuade Ashton to come to my flat for us to study though I think I only managed that as Jamie had Drama club (tee hee) and the library was closed and of course his room mates were not very helpful when you wanted to study.

“Oooh this looks serious.” Jamie said playfully as he walked into our lounge the floor of which was covered in a deep layer of combined legal books and my own handwritten inelligable notes.

“hi.” I said looking over at him with a beam. “I’ve had a headache since Ash here suggested it.” Jamie walked over and kissed the top of my head gently,

“Poor baby anything I could do to help?” he asked his voice way too calm too hard, it was normality that took just a little too much effort to maintain. I lifted my chin to look directly at him smiling flirtatiously. He sighed,

“Pizza?”

“I love you.” I said playfully,

“mmm.” He said smiling as he walked to the kitchen, “want some Ash?” he called, not noticing that Ashton was now collecting up his scattered notes.

“Nah I’m alright Jamie.” he said breathlessly.

“Oh stop that.” I said snatching the books from his hands.

“Is he still being all weird abut getting pissed and passing out on the sofa?” Jamie asked playfully leaning out of the kitchenette.

“yep.” I said jumping up holding his books out of reach childishly even though he made no move to retrieve them

“Ah mate forget it.” Jamie said lightly “stay study, eat pizza, have a beer.” he said appearing with a bottle of larger in hand.

“No I…I really have to go.” He said gesturing vaguely at nothing,

“Come on mate I've opened it already.” Jamie said holding the bottle out.

“Were nearly done anyway, we can be done much quicker if we just carry on now.”

“And we have pepperoni.” Jamie put in brightly.

“Plus together we could probably find out why Jamie is in such a f*****g weird mood.” I said as Jamie snorted.

“I’m not being weird.”

“Did you get laid or something?” I said brightly,

“I’m ignoring you now.” Jamie said in a deadpan voice as he strode to the kitchen.

"Alright fine." Ashton conceded just for a bit. three hours later he still here and I was in pain The pains had started about an hour ago but initially it had been distant and easily ignored. But as the minutes ticked by the twisting pains in my stomach were growing. It felt as if a hand had slid into my stomach and was gripping inside me pulling and twisting my insides.

“Rummy.” Ashton said proudly flinging his cards down on the coffee table. Whatever happened next I missed as I cried out in pain as the pains tearing through my stomach were suddenly so intense. It was so intense I couldn’t suppress this cry of pain.

“Jessie.” Ashton said softly shuffling over to the foot of my chair. I twisted and writhed curling up into the foetal position arms wrapping around my stomach tightly.

“Jess.” Jamie said his desperation much clearer. I cried out again as my stomach twisted painfully. “Jess, Jessie.” I felt his cool hands on my clammy skin but it was a distant sort of notice as if I could only vaguely acknowledge it from a long way off, as the pain was too much I couldn’t think of anything else. My insides were being ripped and torn I was simply in agony. I struggled free of Jamie’s clumsy grasps and staggered to my feet and ran clumsily hunched over into the Kitchen reaching the sink a split second before I violently vomited.

“Jess I’m going to call Kate.” He said harshly panic obviously overwhelming him.

“no.” I panted collapsing to the floor still gripping at my stomach.

“Look we don’t get sick.” He snarled as I shook my head trying to clear my vision which had begun to blur but I could still see Ash hovering behind Jamie looking awkward. “And all of a sudden you can’t even stand.”

“It’s your pizza.” I said groggily trying in vain to make a joke,

“Jess.” Jamie growled clearly not appreciating the humour.

“I’m…”

“If you try and say okay I swear I will kill you.” Jamie snapped

“It’s not me.” I managed to mutter before the pain swept through me the blackness taking me out from the intense pain.

           I sat bolt upright with a start as Ashton dumped another glass of cold water over my face. I looked around vaguely, I was in the hallway. Droplets of water ran down my face onto the carpet.

“Are you alright?” Jamie asked concern painted over the faces of both him and Ashton.

“I’m in the hall.” I said vaguely before the pain against started to make me cringe forcing me to again double over gripping at my stomach tightly as the harsh twisting pains began again.

“shit.” I snarled, Ashton dropped down beside me holding out a bucket which I instantly vomited into. “sorry.” I whimpered.

“Jess.” Jamie said patting my Face again with his warm clumsy hands.

“I need to.” I said grabbing at Ashton he looked horrified but released the bucket and helped me to my feet as Jamie grabbed at me. “My roo.” Was all I managed to mumble as I took a clumsy step but Jamie took over slinging my arm over his shoulders and half carried me to my room.

“yeah we’ll get you in there you can have a little lie down and I’ll ring K Jessie no.” he snapped as I stumbled from his grasp as my legs buckled collapsing me to the floor I grabbed at my bedside table and used this to drag myself up to my knees reaching over into the drawer my clumsy fingers groping around.

“Jessie what are you.” Jamie cut off as I pulled out my small revolver.”Jess.” he said firmly his eyes swinging to Ashton,

“What the hell.” Ashton whimpered,

“Ash calm down.” Jamie said soothingly as I clumsily checked the magazine my hands trembling as I continued to experience fierce spasms of pain.

“She has a gun.” He gabbled, “Why the hell does she have a gun?”

“It’s only a nine mil.” I said weakly

“Just calm down Ash. I’ll sort it.” He said calmly “now Jess give me the gun.”

“No.” I gabbled,

“You don’t need the gun Jessica.”

“Oh yes I do.” I said firmly grabbing at my stomach.

“No Jess you get some sleep and I’ll call Kate no need for a gun.”

“I am not sick.” I snarled,

“Well you’re doing a f*****g good impression of it.”

“I’m not.” I snapped “you don’t get it its not me its Derek.”

“Derek?” he said blankly as I collapsed back against the bed “Well what…what about.”

“He’s getting laid.” I said wiping my sweaty brow.

“Jess,” he said in his rational voice."Derek wouldn't look at any other girl what makes you think he's getting laid?"

"No I know I can feel it." I said hearing how insane I sounded,

"Look Jess just calm down, give me a gun and we'll sort it."

“No.” I snarled swinging the gun around in a rather deranged way. “I need the gun because I am going to drive back to the den and shoot Derek in the f*****g head.”

“Jessie.” He said still rational as if I was a toddler having a tantrum, “you’re not going home and you will not shoot Derek. You came here you left even if he is with a girl its nothing to do with you anymore. he’s not yours!”

“He is!” I snarled “whether I want him or not he is mine!” Jamie snorted at what even I could acknowledge was a stupid comment.

“Right Jess okay but just give me the gun you are not going to shoot him.”

“Your right.” I said handing him the revolver before stumbling the short distance to the kitchen. “I’m not going to shoot him.”

“What are you doing?” he asked in a long-suffering way as I pulled open a drawer and began rummaging.

“Ah ha.” I said brightly pulling out an instrument.

“Jess.” He said patiently “what’s the kebab skewer for?” I smiled at the thin metal pole in my hand.

“I am going to remove Derek’s testicles with it.” Jamie rubbed his forehead as if it suddenly hurt but I could still see a small smile he was clearly trying to suppress. The remaining strength in my legs disappeared as I collapsed to the floor as the intense pains began rippling through my stomach crippling me. "Isn't he done yet?" I shouted into the lino, I bit my lip harshly as I crumpled onto the floor completely feeling tears rolling down my cheeks before Jamie’s strong arms lifted me up and carried me to my room placing me gently down on my bed kissing my forehead before tucking me in and leaving me alone with my pain.

“Morning Honey.” Jamie said lightly as I emerged from my room he evidently had been sitting across doorway. “Feeling better?”

“No.” I growled grumpily.

“Jess.” He said placidly “are you sure? I mean Derek worships the ground you walk on. He covets the air you breathe he…he doesn’t want anyone else.”

“Well he wanted one last night.” I snapped.

“Honey what makes you think that?”

“I don’t think I know it he’s screwing around.”

“How do you know.” he said reasonably “you can’t know that.”

“I know.” I snapped “I know it’s illogical but I do just know.” Jamie rewarded this with a simply disbelieving look, “Look whatever this f*****g bond between us is I don’t know but I do know about him and I know he’s betrayed me.”

“Well even if he did Jess you left.” He said reasonably “You said you didn’t want him and you left him what did you expect, he’s not cheating your not in a relationship.”

“I don’t f*****g care.” I snapped “he hurt me.” Jamie lifted a finger to his lips,

“You hurt him first."  He whispered "Ashton." he explained pointing to the living room I smiled fondly,

“What did you tell him?”

“He didn’t really want to know much he didn’t care really you were hurt that was really all he was concerned about. He’s a good guy.” Jamie said with a smile “and he really seems to care about you.”

“I know.” I said looking towards the living room.

“Are we going home?”Jamie asked and I was surprised that his voice no longer had that pleading longing note in it.

“No.” I said lightly he snorted and walked off. “What?” I snapped “what is going on with you?” I asked baffled by his reaction, he turned noisily.

“He’s mine.” Jamie said in a whisper “that’s what you were mumbling all night in your dreams, did you know that? Well that and calling his name. You were furious to even think of his being with someone else, hell you still are but you won’t swallow your damn pride and go back home. No you stay here. You love him in a way most people can only dream of, you love him with every beat of your heart and f*****g know it, You know he lives for you and yet you f*****g stay here and for who for what?” His voice became near to a shout.

“What the f**k?” I muttered in pure shock Jamie had never spoken to me like that, although swiftly anger replaced my disbelief, “What the hell does it even have to do with you?”

“Oh nothing it’s just my f*****g life but what’s that right. I only have one because of you anyway so what does it matter if I have to fling it away so you can play around with your boyfriend.”

“Jay.”

“I just don’t get it.” He said gently, “You have him right there your mate whatever you say. you have what we all long for he’s not human he wont break your heart he wont reject you wont leave you and you just wont accept that you just keep looking for loopholes to stop yourself just being happy.”

“I know.” I whispered “but if I gave up for that what do I have left.” Jamie slumped back down again resting his back against the wall.

“I’ve met someone.” Jamie whispered I smiled.

“Really.” I beamed, Jamie sighed heavily and dropped his head down into his hands and sighed. I shuffled myself over to sit next to and just waited for Jamie to break the silence it didn’t take long. Jamie sighed sadly “she’s the one.” He whispered.

“The what?” I said thickly he smiled patiently.

“The one you know my soul mate my kindred spirit my other half my mate.”

“Your mate?” He nodded “a human?”

“yeah.” He said gently “we’re not all as lucky as you.” I raised an eyebrow.

“I met her at Drama club.” He confessed.

“I’m happy for you sweetheart just be careful with your heart” I muttered “humans have a habit of breaking them.”

“I knew that this was different from the first second I met her.” he said dreamily “I already want to just be with her all the time. I’m counting minutes until I see her again I don’t understand how can do this to him to yourself and why do you not want to be loved?”

“Jay.” I said gently,

“You know the irony here you’re here forcing Derek to wait for you, refusing to let him love you and me and Emily, that’s her name no matter what I feel for her or anything were forced to wait.” I frowned at him,

“She’s fourteen.” He snarled.

“Oh.” I said slowly.

“She’s just turned fourteen.”

“And your almost.”

“seventeen.” He cut in.

“So your not.”

“its not possible whatever I feel for her and she feels for me we cant do anything, her parents wouldn’t allow it and you know for a f*****g fact that Darius wouldn’t allow it, not yet anyway .” he shifted “you choose to wait … me I’m forced to wait.” Our gazes instantly whipped around as Ashton walked out into the hallway, fully dressed yet looking slightly rumpled sleep lingering on his features that suddenly became intensely awkward,

“Err feeling better?” he asked shifting his feet nervously.

“yeah.” I said brightly “I’m sorry about that I have no idea what happened and I don’t really remember much. But thank you for staying” Ashton shrugged he clearly could see through my transparent excuse but the shrug told me he was content to leave it at that.

“Are you coming to class?” he asked clearly keen to get the conversation back on a level he was familiar and hence more comfortable with, hefting his bag a little higher on his shoulder.

“Oh um…I um I think I’m gonna have to skip first period i should get some sleep but I’ll be at our afternoon lecture. I guess I can’t persuade you to ditch with me.” I said offering him a flirtatious smile which he responded to with a vague shake of his head and turning a charming shade of cherry red. “So I’ll give you a call later and meet you before class?” he nodded,

”sure, but I better go I’ve got some stuff I need to sort out before class.” He said awkwardly I nodded and then on pure impulse I leaned over and wrapped my arms around him in a brief hug.

“Thank you.” I whispered

“anytime.” he said awkwardly patting my back vaguely until I let him go at which point his face registered pure relief. “I um…well I had better I’ve got to go do some stuff.” He babbled awkwardly hopping over us and all but sprinting from the door as Jamie looking thoroughly amused called out,

“Was good to see you again mate.” At Ashton’s back which had already disappeared out of our flat as if terrified that I’d hug him again.