her sweet chains

Episode 30

My own breathing was shockingly loud as I descended into our basement the plain stone box as creepy as everyone’s basement but ours had the added disturbing dimension of the large silver cage. My heart began to ache in sympathy as soon as I spotted Derek just being there he was lying on the bed flat on his back lazily examining the ceiling although his eyes actually seemed to be looking right past it. Even though I knew he must have heard my approach he didn’t move an inch. I sighed and walked slowly to the edge of the cage and sat myself down cross legged on the cold floor just a foot from the silver bars. I sighed heavily and placed the heavy file down on the floor keeping my eyes locked on Derek. I bit my lip he knew I was there and he just didn’t f*****g care.

“Hi.” I said instantly wincing (I am such a loser sometimes).

“What the f**k are you doing here Jess?” he growled still not moving. I smiled he was pissed now I knew that I could deal with it.

“do you remember that time when I was fourteen and I had my first date?” that got his attention he suddenly sat up and looked at me totally puzzled , too thrown to remember to be pissed off. I smiled sadly “do you remember you were seventeen then do you remember?”

“What part?” He snapped but he knew what I meant even if he didn’t understand why I smiled again placidly.

“The part in the afternoon what two hours before my first date? When you came and found me in the woods you were worried because I had been out there running for so long. Do you remember that?”

“Jess what are you talking about?” he snapped.

“You didn’t want me to go I mean it was a first date which unshockingly wasn’t followed by a second date but you still didn’t want me to go but then when I talked to you.” I smiled “you didn’t want me to go but you still tried to help me.”

           The memory flooded into me as I saw myself at fourteen sitting sadly on a rock in the middle of the forest my body almost completely covered in mud.

“Hey beautiful.” Derek said making me jump which I kicked myself for I didn’t let the boys sneak up on me whatever superpowers they had which I didn’t. “Done running.”

“I stopped to tie my shoelace.” I snapped.

“You’re lying.” Derek said in a singsong voice “this is your thinking spot. So” he said with a sigh flopping down next to me. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m trying to figure out who I love the most.”

“Am I winning?” he asked with a smile.

“Well you were and you might be in the lead again if you go away and leave me alone.”

“That’s unfair baby I am the one trying to help you.” He said in a slightly injured voice,

“Well stop and leave me alone I’m not going to discuss this particularly with you.”

”Particularly me.” He said slowly “so it’s about a boy… so I’m guessing it has something to do with your date. You know you don’t have to worry about it right, he hurts you we’ll rip his hands off.” I couldn’t help but smile at this.

“I know I’m not worried about that.”

“Then what? Come on its me.” I sighed and was careful to avert my gaze from Derek whose eyes were intense on mine.

“I’m worried …I…I’m worried he might…you know …want to kiss me.” Derek laughed gently but not at me he placed a hand on my cheek gently using it to turn me to face him. His eyes flashed gold as he looked at me which to be honest made a bolt of fear shoot through me.

“Okay.” He said gently smiling at me “lets deal with that.”

“How?”

“What is it your worried about?” I snorted

“What do you think I’ve never kissed a guy like that…I don’t know.” I averted my eyes feeling my cheeks burning “I don’t know how.” I said waiting for another laugh but all Derek did was sigh as he again put a hand gently on my cheek and used this to turn me to face him.

“Okay.” He whispered before seeming to steady himself for something. “Come here.” He said with a vague gesture.

“What?” I laughed.

“I’ll help you… practice.”

“You want me to practice kissing on you.” I said slowly

“Your scared of kissing him right. Well there’s absolutely no reason to be scared on me. You’ve known me your whole life.” I snorted

“Yeah nothing to be scared of.” Derek held his hands up, even at this age I knew what the pack had planned . I knew what Derek thought that I was his mate.

“I’m purely a tutor I will behave … promise.” I sighed and shuffled a little closer to Derek feeling my pulse beginning to race.

“Okay.” I whispered.

“Okay.” He echoed looking intently into my eyes as he pushed a lock of hair back from my face. “Close your eyes.” He whispered running his fingers down my cheek. “Are you ready?” he asked as I closed my eyes eager to block away his intense gaze. I nodded feeling my palms begin to sweat. Derek laughed softly and whispered in my ear “stop looking so terrified its just me, and this is practice, its not a real kiss .” he whispered running a single finger down my nose, “just relax.”

“Just do it already.” I snapped breathlessly.

“Okay.” Derek whispered I shivered as I felt Derek’s warm breath hit my lips he was closer than I had realised. I held my breath as I felt Derek lips brushing across mine barely making contact as I sat paralysed in fear. Then his lips pressed against mine slightly firmer but still unbelievably soft, gentler than I could have ever believed possible.

“There.” Derek said softly as my eyes flung open “see not so scary.”

“Um…I…um…I guess.” I babbled.

“Right this time relax.” He said prodding my nose gently, “its not scary you know that now.” He placed a hand on my cheek. “And I’m going to hold you okay?” I nodded my eyes wide why was I still so scared and why was my heart even now beginning to race. “close your eyes .” he whispered and I instinctively obeyed, feeling myself tremble as Derek just sat impassively for a moment watching me, before he placed his free hand on my other cheek cupping my face. Then gently oh so gently his lips were placed to mine moving so gently to kiss my lower lip his hands slowly slid back to my neck. Then gently he pressed his lips more firmly to mine as I felt his tongue slide so gently along my lip. Derek purred that’s the only word I could use to describe it he purred.

“strawberries.” He breathed onto my mouth. I smiled as he pressed his lips back to mine again his tongue slipping along my lips brushing them tenderly as one of his hands tangled in my hair and another slid gently down my side down to my waist a trail of Goosebumps following in the wake of his fingers. I felt the rumble in Derek’s chest as he purred again at the taste of my lips, and curiosity awoke in me. How did he taste? I delicately tentatively brushed my tongue along his lips; a light taste of chocolate lingered there. I slid my hands up through his soft hair; it was shorter than it had always been but still long enough for those loose locks around his face to flop into his gaze the way I liked. Still long enough for me to tangle my fingers in. I slid my tongue along his lips loving the way this made my heart thump in my chest so hard I could almost believe Derek could feel it across the space between us. I felt myself shudder as my tongue for just an instant brushed along Derek’s. He pressed his lips to mine just a little more firmly.

“there.” he whispered throatily pressing a light kiss on the tip of my nose, it was only then I realized that Derek had stopped kissing me and had let me go. I slowly opened my eyes releasing him “see.” He whispered “not scary. It was nice.”

“Yeah.” I said dumbly though in reality I had found it terrifying.

“If you kiss him like that he’ll fall completely in love with you.” Derek said gently “so don’t.”

“You didn’t want me to even go on my date but you still tried to help. You taught me how to kiss.”

“Yeah there was mistake one. I guess mistake two was both of us teaching each other how to f**k. As I’m defiantly not benefiting from either am I?”

“I just can’t stop thinking about how gentle you were. Have I really f****d with you that much?” Derek’s head dropped as he gripped it with both his hands as though he was in immense pain. “But I still don't believe that you would lie to me though.” I let the silence spin out between us I didn’t want to ask I didn’t want to but I had too I had to know. I got up onto my knees and shuffled to the bars lightly wrapping my fingers around them, “did you do it?” I whispered “did you kill her?” before I even registered that he was moving he was on the floor his hands gripping mine tight his eyes locked on mine intense golden rage burning behind them.

“Are you really asking me that?” he hissed, “how can you. You know me.” I bit down on my lip hard but I didn’t say anything I had asked now I just looked into his eyes for the long uncomfortable moments until the golden intense rage faded and he became Derek again looking at me with that passionate love just for me. He released my hands and just collapsed to the floor. I released the bars trying not to wince from the light burn marks that were scorched into my palms.

“I don’t think you’d lie to me.” I said softly, “so I have to ask. Did you kill her?” he lifted his eyes to glare at me.

“You honestly think I did?” He said breathlessly,

“Do you hate me this much?” I said pulling the photos from the file and savagely flinging them at Derek one by one through the bars towards him. He picked up the picture of the bloodied mutilated girl and his face remained completely impassive. “She looks like me doesn’t she well she did.” He picked up the stack of photo at his feet and savagely flung them at the bars of the cage.

“f**k You.” He snarled at me his eyes suddenly glowing a rage filled gold. I sighed and pushed myself up to my feet striding away from the cage towards the stairs determined not to look back determined not to show him how much that hurt me. “Jessie.” his voice was so gentle I wasn’t sure I had even heard it I stopped but didn’t turn back.” for what its worth, no I didn’t kill her, but as for whether or not I hate you that much I…I don’t know.” I bit my lip and just walked up the stairs, not pausing to say anything or even look back I wouldn’t let him see me cry I just walked out of the basement and straight to my room flinging myself down on top of my Duvet and just cried I had broken him, my heart I had broken my heart.

“Darius I want to borrow the Lexus.” I said striding into his study without knocking or bothering with any pleasantries.

“No.” Darius said without lifting his eyes from the pile of paperwork scattered over his desk. I sighed and walked over to his desk and flicked his lamp on.

“You’ll strain your eyes; I said vaguely indicating the pitch black landscape outside the window as Darius rubbed his dazzled eyes.

“I have to get home some how walking would take a while and you sent my car home.” Darius smiled sadly,

“Its three am princess and you are in no state to drive.” He said calmly still not raising his eyes.

“I’m fine.” I snapped as Darius wordlessly gestured at the mirror behind him still not shifting his eyes from the file spread out before him. I sagged with a heavy sigh as I spotted my eyes were still a bright shinning gold, damn obviously I hadn’t got as good a grasp on my emotions as I had hoped.

“Damn it this is bloody annoying why am I the one who all of a sudden has bloody developed headlights.” I snarled, I wasn’t used to the whole shape shifter issue of eyes betraying my emotions but the real pain was the fact that most of the boys were only ever betrayed by flecks of gold in their dark eyes where as mine seemed to completely shift colour.

“It’s a shape shifter trait.” he said calmly “its affects us all to the same degree you are just very upset right now.” He said still pouring over his papers.

“What are you doing?”I snapped irritated at the lack of focus I was getting from my alpha I wasn’t used to that!

“I am going through the files on some the rogues that we have encountered and not dispatched.” He said calmly flicking a file aside and picking up another.

“Where did you get those?” I asked my voice a little snappish.

“From the office.” He said slowly.

“My office.”

“No the office.”

“You understood my system?” I said incredulously looking around the chaos that passed for his study.

“yes.” He said calmly “I understand the concept of filing even if I choose not to employ it myself.” I sighed and flopped myself down in the chair opposite him.

“So you think it’s a rogue?”

“Well it was a wolf. None of ours were there. The only scent I knew was Derek’s, but there still could have been a rogue I don’t know leaving a vague trace obscured by all those forensic people trampling about.”

“Any clues in those?”I asked jerking my head at the pile of files scattered haphazardly around his desk. Darius smiled tiredly,

“Rogues that have a thing against the pack, hundreds. Rogues that have something against Derek personally dozens, any I think would be stupid enough to take on the pack nearly all of them .ones that are capable of this plenty.” he sighed “but ones that would and not feel the need to brag about how clever they were. I mean it’s a pretty obscure way to attack the pack. Rogues generally go for something a little more direct.”

“More Direct than tearing a human girl to death, cutting her disembowelling her. Hell he nearly f*****g decapitated her with his bare hands.” I squealed,

“She was a human so she’s really not a direct link to us we didn’t even know her.” Darius said calmly,

“But she looks like your only daughter .they are here killing humans we which don’t allow in our home land, in a way that doesn’t even attempt to cover up the fact that it was an animal. Besides were attempting to slide below notice any kind of investigation by law enforcement in our home. It’s everything we don’t want. If that isn’t a f**k you to the pack, I don’t know what is.”

“As always your right.” He said calmly.

“So you know it’s not Derek right.” I said hopefully he smiled again sadly,

 “You say that Derek won’t lie to you and I’m pretty sure he didn’t confess to you.” He said his eyes rising questioningly

“No.”

“Do you believe him?”

“Yeah he didn’t do anything.” I said quietly “I believe them. Unfortunately I believe everything he yelled at me.”

 “I spoke to Jamie and convinced him to stay put Roger is staying there to make sure he does and you can get a lift with Andrew tomorrow.

“No.” I said firmly shaking my head as suddenly Lucas’ sharp cry punctured through the house. “I can’t.” I said pitifully “I have to go home.” Darius finally raised his eyes to lock on me his gaze was sad. “He’s really angry with me.” I whispered “but he didn’t do anything. The thing is I don’t think he’s adjusting very well.” I gave a short mirthless laugh “not that I’m doing any better really. I don’t think me coming and going like this helps but I need to be there I can’t come home yet I'm not ready.” Darius sighed and sat back in his car rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“I’ll drive you.” He said finally