Unapologetically Me

Chapter Forty One

I was nervous as hell. I looked down at my outfit in the mirror and took a few deep breaths. My make up was done and my hair was perfectly in waves. I smoothed my hand over my navy blue, v-neck a line dress and blew out a breath.

My heels matched my dress and when I turned to look at my backside, I liked what I saw. I looked good, but my insides were revolting.

It was graduation day and although they said I could walk the stage, I was nervous that they had some how made a mistake and I was going to be standing there, ready to be called up, but my name wouldn't be called.

James came up from behind me and smoothed his hands over my breasts and then my stomach.

"You look incredible." I smiled at him through the mirror and looked him up and down.

"You don't look so bad yourself." He had on a pair of khaki slacks, black dress shoes and a navy blue button down, long sleeved shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His hair was brushed, but he refused to cut it, which was fine by me. He was freshly shaven and his eyes were a bright blue today, looking striking.

"I know. I get that a lot." I rolled my eyes at his wink and elbowed him.

"Do you have our caps and gowns?"

"Yup. Already in the car. You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." I stared at myself oneast time in the mirror and sighed.

"Relax, they'll call your name. You're worrying for no reason. The counselor said you passed and they'll call you up."

"I know, but what if they forget to add my name? Or what if they decided last minute that I sucked at school this year and don't call me up?"

"Yeah, I doubt that's going to happen."

We walked down the stairs and when we hopped in his car, he passed me a stick of gum and I took it.

"My mom and dad said that they got a sitter for the younger kids, so they'll be there with Justice, Jordan and Jayden."

"That's good. Kimmy and Hayley are coming too."

"That's good. What about your uncle and cousins?"

"He said he would try to make it, but my cousins were busy this weekend, so they're not coming. I'm not expecting Joe to show up either."

My stomach churned, remembering how he had practically dismissed me when I had asked him to come to my graduation. "Yeah, yeah, I'll see if I can make it."

My mom was still MIA without a word, so I knew not to expect her and to be quite frank, I hoped that she didn't somehow find out about it and show up. More for her sake than mine. I had called up to the jail to see if she had been found and checked in with her parole officer, but she hadn't shown up anywhere yet.

I rubbed my thighs nervously as he drove to where the graduation was being held at the football field at our school. When we got there, we had a hard time finding a parking spot and when we did, I was beginning to regret the five inch heels I chose.

James and I draped our gowns over our arms as we walked up to the school holding hands. When we got close, one of the counselors noticed us and ushered us in. We were still early, but it seemed like even the guests were early too.

There was a sea of our class dressed in our red gowns of our school colors and I felt my stomach knot up again. I pressed my lips together as they lined us up in the manner they wanted us to walk out in and got more nervous when I was near the back of the line with all of the W's. James was a ways further up the line with the S last names and I kept my eyes on the back of his head. He would looked back at me every now and then with a double thumbs up that made me smile, but the nerves never went away.

And I had to admit, I was kind of upset. I expected for my family to want to come see me graduate. I had experience to see my mom here and I wished more than anything that my dad was still alive to witness this. He would have been so proud of me and I know that even with all of my struggles this year, he would have been grinning from ear to ear just to see his little girl graduating.

I slipped on my cap and gown as the teachers and counselors that were helping began to instruct us on how slowly we should walk and not to embarrass the school by doing anything stupid. Which we all knew was already planned.

A few senior guys, including Dexter and Michael, had purposely cut out a collar and tie to make it seem like they were wearing clothes under their gowns and were going to 'accidentally' flash their asses out to the crowd. James had passed on the idea, but encouraged Michael to go for it, seeing as he couldn't possibly get expelled for it seeing as it was our graduation.

When we began moving up, walking in our lines to take our seats like we had rehearsed the night before, I peered around at all of the guests, hoping to see that Uncle Joe had made it after all. I spotted Kimmy and Hayley immediately, wearing the red and black school t-shirts with my name on a poster board. Even wearing clothes that didn't reveal anything, they looked hot as hell and somehow, they had chosen some seats close to the Starr family and had Jayden and Jordan staring at them, practically drooling.

I smiled at them and waved and they hooted loudly. I blushed and continued forward. We all sat down and I sat nervously as we had a speaker come and talk to us, then a few of the students with honors spoke and then they started calling our names.

I clapped right along with everyone else as people were called and only hooted when Chloe was called up. Dexter took a step too far and flashed his d**k as he 'stumbled' and people laughed and jeered at him. The football team all hooted for him and when Michael was called after him, he chickened out, most likely because his mom was sitting with his dad with a red, embarrassed face at what her eldest did.

The line moved forward and I watched as Art Blonde walked the stage and soon after, Pink Streak, who had changed her streak to red, walked the stage. It took a while before James was called up and I watched the Starrs and even Kimmy and Hayley holler and hoot for him. I smiled and hollered right a long with them.

Seeing him grin as he received his diploma made me feel better, a little bit, and I even got a little teary eyed. I wasn't sure why, but I did.

When my row was up next, my hands began sweating and I hoped that I didn't trip and embarrass myself. And I hoped that they called my name.

As name after name got called before me, I began feeling nauseous. I walked up to the front and when they called my name, I felt relief. I walked slowly up the steps to the stage and heard a roar of people hoot and holler for me. I glanced out and saw all of the Starrs standing up and clapping, along with Kimmy and Hayley. James had his hands cupping his mouth hooting and even Michael was hooting for me. I grinned.

I shook hands with everyone on stage and accepted my diploma, feeling all of the nausea and everything go away finally. I walked back to my seat smiling and when I sat down, I wiped under my eyes so that I wouldn't smear my makeup.

I took a few breaths and waited for everyone to be called. Then they had us move our tassels from one side to the other and together and we threw our caps into the air. Right after, I went looking for James and he grabbed me and hugged me tightly.

"All that worry for nothing. How are you feeling?"

"Good. Relieved. And very hungry."

"Good, because my parents are taking us out to eat." He took my hand and smacked people's hands as he passed by then. Chloe found me and hugged me and then we took pictures because her parents insisted.

James' parents came by and they made us take pictures as well. I smiled up at James in one of the pictures and he smiled down at me and everything felt right. Kimmy and Hayley pranced by and began screeching, when they saw me. They hugged me tightly and even brought James in on the hug.

Jordan and Jayden were drooling as they watched the girls press themselves against us. I almost laughed at them.

"Girl! you're so f*cking fine!" Kimmy gasped as she held me at an arms length.

"Your ass looks so nice with those heels on, right Hayles?"

Hayley bobbed her head in agreement, linking her arm through mine. James introduced the girls to his parents and they invited them for lunch with us. The girls agreed to come, much to the younger Starr's boys delight and we all followed them to a restaurant right off of the strip that served the best burgers.

After not being able to eat this morning for being so nervous, I was ready for something big. I thought that the girls would try to order something small, but they are heartily and everyone chatted about the day and how nice we looked and how proud they were of us. I was a little upset that my uncle hadn't showed up, but looking at the people that did, I knew I had my family right here. These were the people that cared about me the most and I was glad to have them.

The girls departed after lunch and the Starrs went home to get their kids. James and I had to get home to start packing for our weekend in Massachusetts. Our plane would leave in the morning.

When we got home, I was so tired from everything that I laid in bed while James moved around, getting a suitcase out of the closet for us to share and beginning to pile clothes into it.

"Are you getting up to help me?"

"Mmm...in a minute. The bed feels too good to move from right now."

"Okay, what do you want me to pack you then?"

"Panties, bras, shirts and shorts."

"Okay, so shirts and shorts."

I giggled and looked up at him. He grinned down at me and I smiled. I jerked up when there was a loud knock on the front door and looked back at him. He furrowed his eyebrows at me and I shrugged.

We both stood up and went to the front door. I stood in the livingroom as he opened the door. My mom stumbled in and my heart nearly stopped.

She looked pale and haggard and her face was smeared with her makeup. She had on a sleeveless dress and looked absolutely horrendous.

I backed up a little, feeling the nausea from earlier rear back up. "Kelly." She groaned as she walked in. One of the heels of her shoes was broken and there were bruises on the inside of her arms.

She was much thinner than she had been before she left us a couple of months ago. James' eyes burned with anger as she moved in and began grabbing at my arm. I backed away from her again and she looked up at me once before her stomach heaved and a stream of blood, so red erupted from her mouth and all over my feet.