Unapologetically Me

Chapter Thirty Six

James

Things seemed to have shifted after Kelly had agreed to move with me to Massachusetts. The first thing being that the s*x was out of this f*cking world wild. It was almost hard to keep up with her s*x drive. If she wasn't already on birth control, I would have thought she was trying to get pregnant.

It was so much that we had even started f*cking in school. She would text me in the middle of class to meet her in a Janitor's closet or a bathroom and like the s*x crazed hormonal teenager I was, I was right there for it.

We f*cked in school, at the grocery store, clothes shopping at the mall, in my car in a parking lot. You name it, we probably already did it there.

Another thing that had shifted was her mood. She perked up a lot since we lost Lily, but it wasn't like before. Her smiles were dimmer than they had been before and she laughed a lot less and with less mirth, but I felt like she was trying. She was trying to be better and I didn't know who she was doing it for. A part of me felt like it was so that I would be happy, but I hoped that she was trying to do it for herself.

And the last thing was that she was clingier. And I cringed at even thinking about that word, because I felt like being around her all of the time too, but I needed some time away from her sometimes and she was making it hard for that to happen. I loved her. I loved her more than I have ever loved anyone else, excluding my parents, but sometimes I just wanted to hang out with Michael and Jordan without having her there, joking around and holding my hand every second.

Living with her was amazing, but again, she was everywhere and I was beginning to have second thoughts about Massachusetts.

I never told her any of this, of course. I didn't want to hurt her feelings or make her feel like I didn't want her. She has had enough to deal with without me putting some more sh*t on her mind. So I just grinned and beared it.

Today we were waiting patiently at the county jail, waiting for her mom to get released. Kelly held onto my hand tightly, fidgeting nervously, biting her bottom lip in the cute way I liked and twiddling her hair in between her fingers.

It was driving me up the wall at how much she was moving, but I also understood why she was so nervous. Her mother was and abusive drunk. She had hit Kelly and treated her like sh*t after her dad passed away and even though she said she was sober, it was only a matter of time before she got back to drinking and being the mother that Kelly grew up knowing.

I laid my hand on her jiggling knee and raised my eyebrows at her. She grimaced and nodded. "I know. I'm just...this is taking forever. And I don't know how she's going to act and I don't want to fight with her." She exhaled loudly and shook her head.

"It's okay. Just relax. Whatever happens, you already let her know you're not taking her sh*t anymore, so if she starts, call your uncle and have him arrange something else for her."

She nodded slowly and closed her eyes. She leaned her head against my shoulder and held onto my arm. We had already waited an hour and quite frankly, I was ready to go.

Just as I had the thought, the large, metallic door opened and a completely different woman stepped out from the door. It was Kelly's mom, but she looked so different from any other times I had seen her.

Her skin that had always looked sallow and droopy, was looking good. She was still wrinkled, I mean she was in her sixties, how could she not be, but it didn't seem as noticable as it used to be. And her eyes, Kelly's eyes, were bright and full of love as she stared down at Kelly. They weren't bloodshot and the ever present bags she had under them were gone.

You would think that she would look worse after spending six months in jail, but she looked so much better. Kelly seemed stunned, still sitting next to me as she stared up at her mother.

"Mom." She said breathlessly, standing up quickly. Her mother's grin widened and she opened her arms up for Kelly. Kelly slumped into her mother's arms and immediately starting crying, horrible, heart breaking sobs wracking her small frame.

I stood up and grabbed the baggie of stuff her mom had dropped to hug Kelly and held it for her as they were finally reunited.

I smiled, despite feeling a sense of dread take a hold of me. She would be living with us. And even though I wasn't usually an angry person, I knew I would be if she laid a hand on Kelly ever again.

"God, Kelly, you're so beautiful. Let me look at you." She held Kelly at an arm's length by her face and looked her over. Kelly's eyes were still leaking tears but she held the realest smile I had seen her don since Lily.

It made my heart squeeze and if possible, I even felta twinge of jealousy that her mother could do that to her and I couldn't. It was irrational and stupid, but here I was, irrationally, stupidly, jealous over Kelly's mother.

They talked quietly to eachother as I stood there awkwardly behind them and finally after a few minutes, she glanced at me with a bright smile.

"And look at you. Jesus, did you get more handsome or is that I haven't seen a male without a uniform in so long?"

"I think it's the latter." I joked with her and she laughed heartily. She took Kelly's hand and nodded towards the door. We walked out of the jail and she squinted against the sun and stopped walking on the steps and took a long, deep breath.

"I never want to go to jail again. The air in there smells like stale farts and cigarettes. Speaking of which, do you have one?" She asked me.

I patted my pockets and shook my head. "I don't smoke cigarettes."

"Oh but you do smoke other things, don't you, you little devil?" She winked at me flirtatiously and Kelly snorted out a laugh. I blushed and shook my head.

"Maybe let's not discuss that right in front of the jail?" I jerked my finger back at the building and she graced us with another raucous laugh.

We walked to my car and I was glad to finally get out of here. Kelly jumped in the passenger seat and her mom sat in the back.

"Can we get something good to eat? I'm starving. There are only so many ways you can change up ramen noodles before you get sick of it all together."

We asked her where she wanted to eat and she led us to a small Mexican restaurant that I hadn't heard about before.

We all sat down and everything smelled fantastic. When we ordered drinks, I saw how nervous Kelly was as her mom perused the menu, but it was all for naught. She ordered herself a diet soda. Kelly visibly relaxed after that and she chatted animatedly with her mom about little trivial things like an exam she passed recently and about her new bedroom at the apartment.

Kelly's mom just nodded as she sipped on her soda with a satisfied smile with every sip. I wondered idly if she was putting on a show for Kelly, or if she was really just that happy to be out of jail.

I hoped it was all real because I knew it would crush Kelly if her mother turned back into the mean drunk she was before.

Neither of us mentioned the pregnancy. Kelly didn't want her mom to know anything about it because she felt like it would make her mother angry and just want to drink. She didn't want to trigger her in any way which I understood, but felt was kind of a cop out for Kelly. She just didn't want her mom to be disappointed that she had gotten pregnant, period.

When they came back with chips and salsa for the table, we all dug in heartily. Kelly had skipped breakfast because she was so nervous and I just liked to eat, even though I could never gain any weight from it.

Her mom moaned with every bite and it kind of turned my stomach. She wasn't an unattractive lady, she was just a bit old and the sound from her was just a tad obscene for the small restaurant. Kelly cringed at the sound too and I ducked my face to hide my grin.

She elbowed me when her mom did it again and I couldn't help but chuckle a little because I felt her shaking with giggles next to me.

We all ordered our food. I decided on a fajita platter. Kelly chose some chicken enchiladas and her mom chose a sampler platter.

They chatted a bit more and after a bit, I joined in with a few little quips of my own. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. In my head, for some reason, I had imagine her mom walking out of the jail and smacking Kelly around a little before demanding Kelly to go get her some beer.

It was hard to hate the woman when she sat in front of us telling stories about some of the women in jail and some of the crafty stuff she had gotten into at jail.

When our food came, she dug in and we all ate quietly while she continued her moaning and pointing at her food and rolling her eyes.

Kelly looked happy and relieved which was all that I could ask for and I watched her smile at her mom and hold her hand with light in her eyes.

It was only later, when we got to the apartment and her mom walked around with a miffed look on her face that Kelly's smile faltered a bit and I knew that her mom's good humor had been a show.

"It's a bit small, isn't it?"

"It's perfect for us. We don't need too much space."

Her mom spun around in the living room and shrugged. "I just imagined something different. I also didn't imagine your boyfriend living with us."

Kelly bristled and I saw her press her lips together.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want to be alone." She told her mother quietly. "Plus, you'll have the place to yourself when I move to Massachusetts with him after graduation. So it will be plenty big enough for you."

Her mom's face fell and she glared at me. "You're taking her from me? I just got her back."

I turned to Kelly to see what I should say or do and she just glared down at the ground. All of the light happiness she had held in the afternoon from her mother was gone, replaced with the post-Lily dead in the eyes look.

"Kelly wants to go with me. I'm not making her do anything she doesn't want to do."

"She has to stay. I just lost my husband. You can't take my only daughter from me. I'm sixty four years old! I don't have that much time left with her." I crossed my arms and clenched my fists. The guilt trip was there, laid out plainly for anyone to see.

Kelly's face fell and she sighed. "It's been a long day, mom. Maybe we should talk about it later, after you've had some sleep?"

"I want to talk about it now, Kelly! You can't just leave me!"

"I'm not leaving just yet. There's still months before we graduate and then like half of the summer. We have plenty of time to talk about it and for you to adjust."

She shook her head vehemently and continued to glare at me. I sighed and shook my head.

"I'll be in the room." I told Kelly quietly. She looked up at me with her large, doe eyes and I wanted to do something about this, but I knew it wasn't my battle.

"Okay." She sighed. I walked back to our bedroom and listened to the old lady lay it on thick, feeling completely angry. Kelly had just gotten better and now, with her mom home, I felt like she was going to slide back instead of moving forward.