Unapologetically Me

Chapter Twelve

James

When I got up to put my clothes on I noticed the look of panic on Kelly's face. Her azure eyes were wide and she held her comforter up to her chest. I slipped on my boxers and smiled at her, hoping to cheer her up and climbed back into bed with her.

She sighed in relief and grinned back at me as I laid next to her and wrapped my arm around her. She snuggled up next to me and closed her eyes.

"I thought you were leaving." She said quietly.

"No. Not unless you want me to."

"Nope." She popped the 'p' and wrapped her arm over my chest. I smiled down at her and kissed the top of her head. Kelly was like a drug. I knew being with her wasn't good, but I just couldn't stop myself from being pulled in.

I had been determined on Monday to just leave her alone and let her do her own thing. But when Ms. Danforth gave her the thick a*s manila folder full of school work she was missing, I couldn't help but ask her if she needed help. I was a goner from there. Especially after seeing her struggle to get her mom in bed.

I had seen some of what happened after Kelly had ditched me downstairs and had been trying to go back down when Kelly caught me. I pretended that I was on my way to find her and was glad that she fell for it.

But seeing her be a real human being is what gave me a hard on for Kelly Whitmore. She was gorgeous when she wasn't trying to be a hot, sexy cheerleader. When she had come down the stairs wearing pajamas, it was pretty much game over for me.

At school she was fake, but with me she was real. Day after day, despite getting calls from Michael or Lara, I showed up to her house to help her with her homework. She was actually pretty smart which kind of surprised me. And I also couldn't stop thinking about her. Since she left me on Saturday after her dad's funeral, she was all I could think about. So hell yeah I took the opportunity to hang out with her.

It kind of felt like I was a dog fighting for any scraps of affection she would throw at me. I didn't like myself very much for it, but I couldn't help myself.

And now I kind of felt like a douche bag for asking her to ride around with me. Lara had left me with a giant b***r and before I could even talk myself out of it, I texted Kelly like some sleazeball.

I didn't except to get laid. It wasn't the plan. But had I hoped something would happen. Hell yes I did. I had told myself I wouldn't take advantage of the fact that she was in mourning and now I was laying in bed with her almost completely naked and feeling like someone killed my cat.

"What's wrong?" She asked me as she traced her fingers over my chest. I looked down at her and shook my head.

"Nothing. Why?"

She narrowed her eyes at me and chewed on the inside of her cheek. "Are you thinking of Pink Streak?"

I snorted and shook my head. "No. Not even a little."

"Then what's going on?"

I sighed. I prided myself with telling the truth, but when the truth was as bad as mine, I didn't know what to say.

"I guess...I feel like I took advantage of you."

Her golden eyebrows rose high up on her forehead and a small smiled appeared on her face.

"I was thinking the same thing."

"That I took advantage?"

"No, that I took advantage of you."

"Of me? How?"

She grimaced and laid her head down on my chest looking away from me. "I heard you tell Michael that you thought I was using you."

I groaned and sighed. I knew I shouldn't have said that while she was there. I knew I should have kept my stupid mouth shut. I was such an i***t.

"Kelly..." I sighed. I rubbed her arm and stared up at her popcorned ceiling. "I don't even know what to say to that. I mean, I know that's what I felt at the moment, but...I didn't mean it in a bad way."

"Well...it felt like it was in a bad way. That's why I didn't talk to you for the rest of the weekend. And also because I heard you talk about Pink Streak. But I never intended to make you feel that way. I wasn't in my right mind and I shouldn't have asked you to do that on Saturday."

"I should have talked you out of it. We were both wrong. But I do apologize for offending you."

"Do you regret tonight?"

"Not in the way you think."

She lifted her face up and looked at my face. "What does that mean?"

"It means that I hoped something would happen, but I shouldn't have. Because you're still in mourning and I know that and I still wanted to."

"I kissed you in the car. I made all of the moves. You didn't force anything I didn't already want to do."

"I know I didn't force it, but let's face it, if I hadn't texted you tonight, nothing would have happened."

"It would have happened eventually and you know it. We have both been tiptoeing around all of the s****l tension hanging around us. It was bound to happen. And if I'm going to be honest, I wouldn't mind if it kept happening." She shrugged her petite shoulders and placed a small kiss on my chest.

Hearing her say that she wanted it to keep happening made me harden instantly. Down boy. I grinned and shook my head.

"I guess you're right. But should we? I mean, don't get me wrong, I like this," I moved my hand down her arm and over her hip over the comforter. "But I don't want to take advantage. We should take it slow. Be friends."

My d**k shriveled immediately at my statement and I felt like kicking myself. Always trying to be the good guy. Except when it came to Kelly.

"Friends like you and Pinky? Or friends like Dexter and I used to be?"

She smirked up at me and I knew what she was talking about. My d**k was officially confused and stood at half mast, waiting to be let down again. I shook my head and leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. I couldn't help myself. I was insatiable around her.

"God, you make it so hard to be good, Kelly," I whispered against her lips.

She giggled and nipped at my bottom lip. "There's something about you that makes me feel the exact same."

We ended up having s*x a second time and I quickly realized that I needed to invest in some condoms if this was going to keep happening. After she fell asleep I laid awake and wondered what I was going to do with Lara.

We hadnt set any boundaries or anything and I didn't even know what she wanted. I knew she wanted me, but beyond that I had no clue. I didn't want to f**k anything up, but how could I know what not to do?

I wiped my hand over my face and looked at Kelly's sleeping form. She was beyond gorgeous. It was a wonder how I got here and how I could keep coming back and she still wanted me to.

I think that as long as we didn't involve feelings, this could continue the way we started. I liked the privacy of no one knowing. I mean Michael knew that I was coming over, but he didn't know about tonight. Should I even tell him? Would Kelly let Chloe know?

I sat up and reached for my phone in my pants on the floor and saw a few texts from Michael and one from my mom.

Mom: You're still out? You didn't tell me you would be out this late James Allen. Don't make me worry. At least tell me you're safe.

Me: I'm safe. Will be home soon. Sorry mom, lost track of time.

Mom: Okay. Drive home safe or call me if you cants drive. I can have your dad pick you up. Or Justice. Or Jordan. Just let me know.

Me: I'm good to drive. Promise. Don't worry. Go to sleep. Be home soon.

Mom:Okay. I love you. Lock the door on your way in. XOXO

Me: Okay. Love you you too XOXO

I sighed and looked over at Kelly and wondered if she would be pissed at me if I just left. Maybe if I woke her up and told her, she would be okay.

I got up and dressed then kneeled down next to her side of the bed. She was sleeping on her stomach, her face facing me, a small amount of drool begining to pool under her mouth.

I smiled and ran my hand over her naked shoulder and pushed her long, golden hair out of her face. She stirred and opened her eyes.

"Hey, I've got to go. My mom is waiting on me. I wanted to let you know before I left."

She squinted her eyes and nodded slowly. "Okay. Call me tomorrow. " Sheaid her head back down and I nodded.

I walked as quietly as I could out of her house, locking it just to be safe and drove home thinking of everything that had happened. I wondered how long it would last. I wondered how long it would take her to realize that having s*x with me was just a distraction from feeling everything else that was going on around her.

I mean I could see it clearly, I just was an a*shole and was taking advantage, even though she also thought she was taking advantage of me. By the time I got home I was completely confused about everything Kelly and went to bed kind of in a sh*tty mood because of it.