I'm Not Me Anymore

11

After a few months, everything went well. It was very peaceful. It has been months simula nung na legal kami ni Ezekiel sa side niya. But on my side? I never had a thought ma i-legal ko pa. I never wanted to see them anymore.

The vacation was fun. Ako nalang din palagi naiiwan sa bahay pero kinakaya ko naman. Minsan nalang din pumunta si Ezekiel sa bahay dahil nag t-travel sila kasama ang pamilya niya. I don't mind though. Dahil halos mag o-one month na rin siya nung nag stay siya sa bahay just to take care of me.

I was having a hard time at first na sanayin ko ang sarili ko na wala na siya sa bahay. Masyado kasi akong nasanay na nandoon siya araw-araw. Though, I'm slowly getting better. I hang out with ungas minsan pag available sila. Mas naging malapit narin ako kila Apollo at Kal. Mas nakilala ko sila nang husto.

"Kumusta kayo ng jowa mo, Lina?" Tanong ni Syd.

Narito kami ngayon sa Mcdonald's. Inaya kami ni Ali tapos libre niya na rin daw. Sino bang hindi tatanggi non, diba? Tanggapin na agad. Sayang ang grasya!

"Ayos lang naman kami. Yun nga lang, minsan nag o-overthink ako dahil nga sa trust issues ko."

"Well, I hope he's not the same katulad ng ex'es mo." Singit ko.

"Couldn't agree more, sis." Sabi ni Kallie habang tumatawa.

"Wag ka magaalala, Lina. Ipapa-mass report natin yang account ng jowa mo kung sakaling saktan ka niyan!" Tumawa nang malakas si Sydney habang hinahampas hampas si Kris.

"Aray ko, gago! Ako talaga trip mo ngayon, ha?!"

"Sorry na! 'to naman. Na reject kalang, e.'"

"Ay 'te 'di ka maka move on? Ang tagal na non! Grade 10 pa tayo non, gaga!" Pag ganti ni Kris.

Mas lalo pang nag ingay sila nang makisali rin yung iba. Jusko, sa sobrang ingay nila, mapapatakip nalang ako ng tenga!

Hapon na ako nakauwi sa bahay dahil pumunta pa kami sa ukay-ukay dahil trip daw kaming ilibre ni Kal. Sa sobrang ma-pera nila, parang akala mo nag ta-tae sila ng pera lalo itong si Sean at Kal!

June 2, 2021.

Pasukan na bukas!

Mae-excite ba ako? O hindi? Hayy. Mixed feelings, actually. Tinatamad pa ako pumasok at hindi pa ako handa. Napaka bilis lang ng pangyayari. Parang last week lang nangyari yung prom at graudation tapos yung pagalis dito ni Kiel.

Namili na rin ako kahapon ng school supplies ko. Yung school supplies na pinang bili ko, 'yon yung kinita ko sa trabaho ko.

- Flashback -

Gusto ko nang magkaron ng trabaho. Ayokong mag stay rito sa bahay tapos wala manlang kapera pera. Balak ko na talagang lumipat ng ibang school, yung public. Kaso nasa kalahati naman na yung nabayaran noon ni Edward sa tuition ko.

Nakahiga ako ngayon sa T.V room, nag la-laptop habang nanonood ng kdrama. I was scrolling on f*******:, i********:, Reddit, Twitter, and google for an online job for students.

Blogging?

Making surveys?

G ko na 'to. Ang hirap mag hanap ng trabaho na online job dito sa Philippines at yung No experience required.

- End of Flashback -

Nag vibrate bigla yung phone ko habang ako gumagawa ng blog through online. I immediately checked my phone and took a glance sa notification.

From: Ungas

sydney: hoi nakita niyo na ba yung section niyo? hindi ko pa na che-check sakin omg.

kristen: hindi pa. tara sabay tayo,

alina: taraa tapos gala after!

alivia: 'di ako g. we are going to have family dinner mamaya, e. can you guys check it nalang for me?

alina: sure. picturan ko nalang.

sean: lol wag si lina ipa-picture niyo. alina literally suck in taking pics,

alina: tangina mo ah

eiden: aray real talk haha

bryan: lol dont tell me u guys havent checked ur sections? 'cause i havent hahaha

lily: o tara g na. mukang 'di niyo pa na che-check din, e. wby apollo?

apollo: hm

apollo: yea sure.

kallie: ditch mo na yang fam dinner niyo, ali! tara na. bahala ka, walang mag pi-picture ng section mo.

alivia: 'di pwede gaga ba kayo. i don't want to be grounded for 1 week.

kallie: k. bahala ka.

alivia: f**k u, kal.

I reacted 'haha' on Ali's message at diretso akong nag prepare. Sakto, pagka chat nila patapos na yung oras ng pasok ko.

Pagkatapos kong mag prepare, agad akong nag bihis at nag suot ako ng Square Collar Puff Sleeve Off Shoulder Floral Shirt at jeans. Nag suot din ako ng sunglasses na itim dahil maaraw. Pagkatapos kong mag prepare, agad ako lumabas ng bahay para mag abang ng tricycle.

"Kuya!" tawag ko sa Driver.

Agad naman tumigil yung tricycle at sumakay na sa loob ng tricycle. Wala pang 30 minutes, nakarating na agad ako. Natanaw ko sila, nag k-kwentuhan at nag t-twanan.

What it made me laughed, when I heard Sydney's loud laugh. Siya talaga yung pinaka maingay saaming lahat tapos si Alina. Kaya minsan inis na inis 'tong si Kristen lalo pag hinahampas siya sa braso kapag tumatawa eh.

"Lily!!" sigaw ni Sydney nang makalapit-lapit ako.

Tinanggal ko yung sungglasses ko kasabay ng pag lipad ng buhok ko dahil sa hangin.

"Ang ganda mo!" puri ni Sydney.

"Mas maganda ka gaga," natatawa kong sabi.

Nagsimula kami mag lakad sa pangalawang gate ng school namin kung nasasaan yung listahan ng new sections for students. I used my tiptoe para makita yung mga pangalan. Tumingin ulit ako sa isang chart at napaawang ang labi ko nang makita ko mga pangalan namin.

Grade 11 - Einstein

1. Ayutthaya Kallie

2. Bautista Sydney

3. Fernandez Kristen

4. Gomez Alivia

5. Rodriguez Lilian

6. Valdez Alina

Tinawag ko silang habang busy sila sakaka hanap ng section nila. "Magkaka klase tayo! Einstein pangalan ng section natin," pag i-inform ko.

"Weh?!"

Nagsi-lapitan sila tapos tumili naman 'tong si Sydney tapos yung iba tuwang-tuwa. Who wouldn't be happy though, halos lahat kami magkaka klase, section 1 pa.

Pagkauwi ko sa bahay, pinasok ko na lahat ng mga school supplies that I bought yesterday. This is literally a big achievement for me.. buying stuff by my own hard work and money.

Also.. I miss Kiel. I wonder how he is?

Pareho kami halos busy kaya tuwing gabi lang kami nagkakausap, minsan hindi na nga kami nakakapagusap eh. Last time he was on Taiwan with his family. Nakauwi na kaya siya?

I grabbed my phone na nasa kama ko at dinial ko yung phone number ni Kiel. Naka ilang tawag ako pero ni-isa wala sagot sa tawag ko.

Busy siya.. busy lang siya. There's nothing to worry about. Hindi sa lahat ng oras free siya, na lagi niyang masasagot mga tawag ko o message ko sakaniya.

Itinuon ko yung sarili ko sa pagaayos ulit ng gamit, at nang matapos ako, I took a quick bath at ibinagsak ko ang katawan ko sa kama.

From: Ungas

alivia: whats my section?

alina: ay hala guurl i forgot to take some pics gagii

alivia: what?! pls say sike rn!!

alina: hoi seryoso ako. did some of y'all took some pics sa mga section niyo? hindi pa naman tayo magkaka-klase aaaaaa.

Loko talaga 'tong babaeng 'to. Lakas ng tama ampotek.

sydney: 'di ako, sorry.

kristen: not me either.

kallie: yan kase dapat dinitch mo nalang e. i mean- 'di naman u mag tatagal sa outside duh.

alivia: i freaking hate u all

lily: wag ka maniwala riyan HAHAHAHAHAHA. magkaka-klase tayong lahatt

alivia: omg! are u being seryoso rn???

lily: yess. see u tom.

sydney: oi oi anong "tom" ka riyan ha?! sumbong kita kay mat! kung sino sino lalaking nababanggit mo ha!

lily: wtf i mean "tomorrow"

alina: susss,

kristen: wew reason HAHAHAHAHA.

kallie: lagot ka HAHAHAHA ure so dead,

alivia: nakooo lilyyy reasonnn HAHAHAHA.

lily: tumigil ka riyan ali ha. kung 'di dahil sakin 'di mo malalaman section mo.

alivia: ay sorry HAHAHAHA okay im on ur side na. stfu y'all.

Mabuti nalang hindi selosong tao yung si Kiel. I decided to open my i********: account at nakita kong may story si Kiel kaya I immediately viewed it.

"i miss u, my fave person :)"

Kikiligin kaya ako? I know this is meant for.. me. I immediately replied on his story and said,

lily: tinag mo sana ako HAHAHAHA

Wala pang isang minuto, nag seen siya. I bit my lower lip when I saw him typing. Nagantay ko nang ilang minuto pero wala na akong message na na-receive galing sakaniya. Kanina typing lang siya pero hindi niya manlang sinend?!

lily: bakit 'di mo sinasagot tawag ko?

Tinawagan ko ulit siya pero wala pa rin akong natanggap na sagot galing sakaniya. Galit ba 'to sakin?

lily: galit ka ba sakin? did i do something wrong that it made u upset? if i did, im sorry. can we talk about it? u've been ignoring my calls since morning even my texts.

I waited for almost 30 minutes pero wala pa rin ako natatanggap na reply. Siguro sinend talaga nila 'yon kay Kiel!

Nag chat ako sa gc and I asked them kung sinend ba nila yung sinabi ko kanina. Hayy.. I can't help not to be worried.

After a minute, nag reply sila isa-isa at sabi nila hindi naman daw nila sinend, they even sent a screenshot of their conversation with Kiel for proof.

Baka nga busy lang siya.

I opened my bluetooth sa speaker ko at nagpatugtog ng nakakaantok na kanta. This will help me to sleep especially when overthinking hits me again.

May biglang tumunog na malakas kaya halos atakihin ako sa puso nang marinig ko ito. Napabangon ako wala sa oras at bigla ko na realize na alarm ko pala yung tumunog!

"Umaga na pala,"

Nakatulog nga pala habang naka connect sa bluetooth yung phone ko tapos naka set pa yung alarm!

I immediately checked my social medias kung nag reply na ba si Kiel or nag missed call manlang. Parang bigla nanlumo ako nang makita kong walang reply or missed call.

I don't really know if what the hell is going on.

Napansin kong may bagong story si Kiel kaya chinecked ko ito agad. It was a selfie of him habang siya nasa sasakyan, muka ring naka uniform siya. I took glance at napansin kong 20 minutes ago yung story niya.

Seriously? Bakit hindi niya manlang ako rineplyan pero nakuhang mag selfie?

Well, maybe he's not in the mood to talk to anyone.. baka may problema lang siya o gusto niya muna ng space at self-time.

I took a shower and did some hygiene. Usapan namin sabay-sabay raw kaming lahat papunta sa classroom namin. Masaya ako dahil first day of class nanaman and I'm in senior high school now. But what it upsets me.. the way Kiel ignores my texts and calls.

Hayy. I'm just going to talk to him on school.

I grabbed my bag at lumabas na ng bahay para mag abang ng tricycle. Pagkadating ko sa school, napasapo ako nang makita ko na pinagkakaguluhan sila Sean, Eiden, at Bryan. As always.. hindi sila nalalaos.

Lalo si Eiden.. he gained 1 million subscribers and gained thousands of followers sa i********: and f*******:.

Si Sean, nagiging model na rin dahil inaya siya ni Kallie sa mga photoshoots kaya mas naging sikat siya as well as Kallie. Lalo noong kinuha siyang model ng makeup.

At si Bryan, nanalo yung team nila sa volleyball at may possibilities na ilaban sila sa Brazil. He was known as the best libero on their team.

They are so out of my league. Ewan ko kung pano kami naging magkaibigan at ikinabigan nila ako, eh, isa lang naman akong ordinaryong estudyante.

"Lily, my love!!" sigaw ni Ali.

"Hi," ngiti kong sabi.

"Hoy, magpapasukan na! Mamaya na yang paparazzi niyo!" reklamo ni Kris.

Habang kami naglalakad papasok, linapitan ko si Bryan. Baka magkaklase sila ni Kiel.

"Bry!"

"Oi, Lily, bakit?"

"Kaklase mo ba si Kiel?" naka tingala kong sabi habang naglalakad. Ang tangkad niya kasi!

"Oo. Actually kami nila Sean, Eiden, Apollo, at Kiel at magkakaklase eh. Bakit?"

"Yun nga.. hindi niya pa rin ako kinakausap. Can you please observe him? Feel ko may problema 'yon or something."

"Sure. I gotchu, Lily my babe," natatawa niyang sabi.

"Gago," natatawa kong sabi sabay siniko ko siya.

Pagkapasok namin sa room, tabi-tabi kaming umupo sa row 1. Si Alina, Alivia, Kallie at sa gitna ako, Sydney at Kristen.

"Good morning Grade 11 students! New year, new school life huh?" ngiting sabi ng adviser namin. "Okay, so, I'm Patricia Diaz. Your Grade 11 adviser," pagpapakilala niya. "Sana mabait kayo 'no?" she joked.

Sadly, our adviser isn't aware kung gaano kademonyo 'tong mga kaibigan ko.

"Now, I would like you guys to introduce yourself. Your name, age, what do you see yourself in 10 years, hobbies, anddd.. if why did you chose the strand or track you took. Okay ba?"

Unfortunately, no. I hate being exposed.

That's why when I was in 10th grade, wala ako masyadong binanggit about myself. I'm already contended that my friends are the ones who knows me well.

Nang tawagin ako, bigla akong natauhan. I slowly walked infront of class and I took a deep breath.

"I.. I'm Lilian Rodriguez, 17 years old. I see myself in 10 years na successful independent woman. My hobbies are.. reading books and the reason why I chose Humanities of Social Sciences is because, I wanted to learn more about politics and to gain knowledge about writing and this strand is alined on my course on college. T-thank you,"

"Wow, that was a great introduction. Thank you, Ms. Rodriguez!"

I didn't pay attention that much sa mga kaklase ko nag i-introduce. Pero tinuon ko ng pansin nang tawagin yung mga kaibigan ko.

"Yow.. yow, what's up everybody?! I'm Kristen Fernandez, 17 years old. I see myself in 10 years na successful na Engineer! And my hobbies are, making people happy and laugh. And lastly, the reason why I took STEM is because, this strand connected on my course on college. Thank you!"

Sunod na tinawag ay si Sydney.

"Kung malakas kay Kristen, mas malakas sakin. Wooo!!!!! What's up new classmates?!?!?!"

Nagsitawanan yung iba naming mga kaklase tapos pinapatunog nila yung desk ng upuan nila.

"I'm Sydney Bautista, 17 years old. I see myself in 10 years na nasa kabaong-"

Nagsitawanan yung mga kaklase ko ulit at napansin kong tumawa din yung adviser namin.

Gago talaga 'tong babaeng 'to.

"And my hobbies are.. ano ba.. matulog?! 'yon! Matulog. Char! My hobbies are taking photographs. Mahilig kasi ako mag capture ng mga nature and stuff like that. At mag gitara. And the reason why I took Humanities of Social Sciences dahil connected siya sa course ko. Salamat!!!" Sigaw niya.

Sunod naman na tinawag, si Alina.

"Hi everyone!" Ngiti niyang bati samin. "I'm Alina Valdez, 17 years old. My hobbies are doing makeups, decorating, drawing, painting. For short, I'm into arts. And uh.. the reason why i took Arts and Design its because.. I'm into arts, yeah! And I see myself in 10 years, ay may sariling museum ng puno ng mga sarili kong gawa na arts. Thank you!"

Sunod naman na tinawag ay si Alivia.

"Hello, I'm Alivia Gomez. The reason why I took ABM its because.. I don't know. Probably I was confused of picking some strands. I hears GAS is mahirap. And my hobbies are.. editing pictures as well as videos. And I see myself in 10 years, editor ng movies. Thank you!"

At pang huli, si Kallie.

"S̄wạs̄dī thuk khn. I'm Kallie Ayutthaya, 17 years old. My hobbies are taking photoshoots and doing makeup guru on Youtube. I see myself in 10 years, ay isang successful model and the reason why I took Arts and Design its because I'm into arts as well. Khob khun Kha."

Everyone was literally staring at her hanggang sa pagkaupo niya. Malakas kasi charisma ni Kallie. Tipong mag s-star-struck ka talaga.

Kakausapin ko sana si Sydney nang may biglang babaeng pumasok sa classroom namin. Tatlo ang kasama niyang mga babae at isang lalaki.

"I'm sorry?"

"Sorry, Ma'am! We were late kasi eh.. dahil we got stuck on traffic," sabi nung isang babae as she flipped her hair and took off the lollipop on her mouth.

"Oh, okay.. that's totally understandable. Sasusunod wag niyo na gagawin 'yan,"

Isa-isa silang pumasok at napansin kong sinundan sila ng tingin hanggang sa makaupo sila. They also introduced themselves pagka upo nila. I see, maganda rin yung babae pero nakaka intimidate yung itsura niya.

Wala kami kundi ginawa ay mag sulat kung ano ang expectation namin sa subject na 'yon at about sa sarili namin.

"Breaktime muna kayo, students." sabi ng adviser namin habang inaayos yung mga gamit niya.

The bell rang right after our adviser told us na mag breaktime muna. We decided na sa cafeteria kami mag recess para makasabay namin yung boys. Agad kami bumaba at dumiretso kami ng cafeteria.

We saw the boys talking sa table, natanaw ko rin na may space para samin. Mas nauna akong naglakad sakanila para makausap ko si Kiel at tanungin kung anong problema niya. Pagka dating ko, natigilan sila sa paguusap.

"Si Ezekiel? Nasaan?"

"Andoon umo-order ng pagkain," turo ni Bryan.

Tumango ako tapos umupo ako sa table namin. Dumating na rin yung mga babae tapos umupo sila sabay-sabay.

"Tara na order na tayo. Sama ka Lily?" pagaaya ni Lina.

"'Di na." ngit kong sabi.

"Okay. Ano ba gusto mo?"

"Kahit Saghetti nalang and chicken," inabot ko sakaniya yung pera ko at nagsimula na sila maglakad.

Maya't-maya, natanaw ko si Ezekiel papunta sa table namin. Inantay ko siyang makapunta samin para makausap ko siya.

"Kiel," tawag ko.

Tumingin siya sakin tapos ngumiti. "Yeah?"

Agad nag salubong yung kilay ko dahil sa inaakto niya. Si Ezekiel pa ba 'to? Kakaiba siya ah.

Lumapit ako sakaniya and I held his hands. "Bakit 'di mo sinasagot yung calls at texts ko? May problema ba? Pwede naman nating pagusapan," diretso kong sabi.

"Wala. Busy lang ako,"

"Pero nakapag story sa i********:?" kunot noo kong sabi. "Hindi naman aabutin ng 3 minutes ang pag re-reply mo sakin. Kahit i-update mo lang ako. Kahit sabihin mo lang na 'busy ako'"

Napakamot siya ng ulo kaya mas lalo ako nakaramdam ng inis. "May nagawa ba akong ikinisan mo, Kiel?"

"Wala, Lilian,"

Bigla ako nanlumo sa pag tawag sakin ni Ezekiel. Nag o-overreact lang ba ako? Masyado lang ba ako nag o-overthink para masaktan ako sa sinabi niya?

"Edi bakit nga?"

"Busy nga ako, Lily. Ano ba? Ilang beses ko ba dapat ulitin?" may halong inis niyang sabi.

Binitawan ko ang pagkakahawak ko sa kamay niya tapos tumango. "Okay.. but please, don't ignore me again. Nagaalala ako eh,"

"There's nothing to worry about, Lily. Stop ovethinking some stuff like that," pag lilinaw niya.

"Lily?"

I immediately turned around nang may tumawag sa pangalan ko.

"Apollo.. hey," ngiti kong sabi.

"I bought some meal for you,"

Napaawang yung labi ko. s**t, may pina-order pa naman na ako na pagkain! I also don't want to refuse dahil sayang yung pagkain.

"Uh-"

"Problema mo, Apollo?"

Napatingin ako bigla kay Kiel tapos siniko ko siya. Apollo was just being nice! Hayy.

"Nothing. Next time nalang, Lily," he walked away.

Inis kong hinarap si Kiel at napakunot naman siya ng noo nang mapansin niya akong nakatingin sakaniya.

"Apollo was just being nice,"

"'Di porket inignore ko messages mo pinapayagan na kitang makipag close roon sa gagong 'yon," mariin niyang sabi.

Hindi naman ganito si Kiel! Ibang iba na siya ngayon ah. Naiirita na ako.

I grabbed his hand papaalis ng cafeteria at napansin kong parating na rin yung mga babae. "Thanks!" sigaw ko sakanila. Napansin ko rin na nagtataka sila dahil paalis kami ng cafeteria.

Nasa hallway kami ngayon kung saan wala masyadong tao. "Ano ba problema mo? Hindi ka naman ganito ah. May problema ba sa bahay niyo? Acads? Ano?" kalmado kong tanong.

"Wala nga, Lily." may halong inis niyang sabi.

"Eh bakit ka nga nagkaka ganyan?!" walang control kong pagkakasabi. Halos mapasambunot ako sa inis. Napatigil ako nang bigla niya akong hilahin palapit sakaniya.

He grabbed my waist and pushed me against him. Napatulala ako nang ilang segundo dahil hindi ko maproseso yung ginawa niya. He carrassed my hair using his right hand, and his left hand was on my waist while his head are on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," mahina niyang sabi. "Magulo utak ko ngayon. Si Mama at Papa nagaway kasi and I'm literally not in the mood of everything. Nawawalan na ako ng interes sa lahat,"

I hugged him back very tight while my tears are falling down on my cheeks. "Shh.. it's okay.. I'm here for you, okay? I will give my best to make you feel better. I'm here for you through ups and downs. Mahal kita,"

"Mahal din kita,"

"Please.. don't lose interest in me," my voice broke.

I'm afraid of losing him.. really.

"I.. won't" he responded after a second.

Dahan-dahan akong humiwalay sakaniya at ngumiti.

I understand him.. because when I was in his situation, I almost push everyone away.

My day was perfect. I'm glad I cleared things out with Kiel. He started replying on my messages na rin at minsan sa call.

"Good morning! My god, second day of class na agad! Ang bilis," natutuwang sabi ni Sydney.

"Kaya nga eh. And also you know what-"

Natigilan ang usapan namin nang may bigla kami narinig na tilian ng mga estudyante. Nag salubong yung kilay ko nang tumingin ako diretso sa hallway.

"Was that the girl yung late kahapon?" Tanong ni Kallie.

"Oo. Mukang may sikat din tayo na classmate ah." Sabi ko habang naka tingin sa babae.

She's pretty.

Matangkad, small waist, mahaba buhok na straight, malakas ang appeal, at everyone's attention is on her.

She literally caught everyone's attention.

"Mukang may katapat kana, Kallie, ah." Natatawang sabi ni Kris.

Sabay-sabay kaming napatingin sakaniya kaya nag salubong yung kilay niya habang nakatingin samin.

"Who cares? Mas maganda pa rin ako 'no,"

For real. Mas malakas ang charisma ni Kallie para sakin. Kung tutuusin nga, sobrang daming kumukuha sakaniya na i-model eh.

"Tapos nakaka intimidate pa," sambit ko.

"Guys, let us not judge, okay? Malay mo magiging friend natin siya. Muka naman siyang mabait eh."

Si Alina talaga yung pinaka kalmado saming lahat. Siya yung pinaka friendly na katamtaman lang ang daldal.

"'Di mo sure,"

Pagka start ng class, wala kami masyadong ginawa. We introduced ourselves ulit sa ibang subject teachers namin. At pinagawa kami ng activity na kung anong expectation namin sa subject na iyon.

"Recess na uy. Bababa ba kayo?"

"Yes. Una na kayo," sabi ko habang inaayos ko mga gamit ko.

"Eh. Antayin-"

"Sige na, Syd. Pupuntahan ko pa si Kiel, okay?" Ngiti kong sabi.

Pagkaalis nila, dumiretso ako sa restroom para mag hugas ng kamay. My hands has full of ink ng ballpen ko!

Habang ako nag huhugas, may bigla akong narinig na naguusap na dalawang babae. Tahimik akong nag huhugas habang nakikinig sakanila.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop though!

"Sino ba? Yung Liliana ba 'yon?"

"No! Lilian.. lilian is her name,"

"Okay? What's up with her?"

"Basta.. but I feel like she's a b***h. I mean, not a literal b***h. Pero alam mo 'yon, tatahi-tahimik pero may baho rin?"

Narinig kong nag tawanan sila kaya mas lalo ako nakaramdam ng inis.

"Yeah. More like a.. pick me girl type! I heard she's friends with Kallie, yung half thai,"

"For real! And you know what, that girl is literally suspicious. And modelling doesn't suit her at all!"

Sadya kong sinara yung gripo at malakas kong ibinagsak yung pintuan ng restroom.

Bastusin na nila ako lahat-lahat, wag lang idadamay mga kaibigan ko.

Dumiretso ako sa classroom nila Kiel na parang walang nangyari. I saw him talking with someone else, at nang makaalis yung kausap niya, diretso akong lumapit sakaniya.

"Are you going to have meal?"

"Yeah.. yeah, of course. Ikaw ba?"

"Oo. Sabay na tayo?"

He took a glance on my back tsaka tumango.

Sabay kaming bumaba at dumiretso sa cafeteria. We separated our table between with the ungas. I wanted to talk to him on private.

"So, how are you? Is there still something bothering you?" Tanong ko while I was looking down on my plate.

"Wala naman.. my Mom and Dad are on good terms na rin, but I'm still worried that it might happened again,"

"Hey.." I held his hand and I looked at him straight to his eyes. "Normal lang 'yon, okay? I'm pretty sure they just had an misunderstanding. But.. I hope they won't go that far.."

"Yeah, I hope too. Pucha, ipapakilala pa kita sakanila,"

Eh? I had lunch with them ah. Kilala na nga nila ako eh.

"What do you mean? Kilala na nila ako. Nakalimutan mo na?"

"I mean, I want to introduce you to them by saying, 'Ma, girlfriend ko po'"

Ramdam kong nag init yung pisnge ko kaya napahigpit yung hawak ko sa kutsara as I pursed my lips.

"Isn't that good?"

"I-it is!" Nahihirapan kong sabi.

It really does! I feel like my ears are blessed nang marinig ko iyon. I wasn't expecting that from him!

"I love you,"

He held my hand as he kissed my hand while he was looking at me.

Ramdam kong bumilis ang pag t***k ng puso ko at pakiramdam ko pinagpapawisan ako kahit wala naman!

Also, its my first time experiencing by getting kissed on my hand! We never kissed, just hug!

"I- I love you more," I shyly responded.

After 1 week, it was very smooth. Nagsimula na rin mag discuss yung mga teachers namin for lesson 1. However, hindi ko pa rin maalis sa utak yung narinig ko. I wanted to tell them kaso ayoko ng gulo.

"Kailan ba kayo magbabati nung mga lalaki? Pataasan kayo ng pride ah," sabi ko habang pinupunasan ko yung eyeglasses ko.

"I wanted to.. pero they seem distant sakin. Matataas talaga mga pride non," 

I took a deep sigh at napakamot ulo. Grabe ha! Paano kaya nila nakakayanan na hindi magkakaayos? I heard it's been years na sila hindi nagkakaaayos.

Pagkapasok ko sa room, busy sila sa pagkikipag kwentuhan. Ang bilis naman nila magka close? 1 week palang ah. 

Umupo ako sa tabi ni Sydney and I gave her a small smile. Napatingin ako sa likuran ko nang maalala ko yung mga babae na narinig ko last week. I took a glance on them, busy sila sa uusap including yung sikat na babae.

Bahala na. Basta pag may ginawa sila that it will affect my friends, tsaka ko na sila ico-confront. 

I was walking on the hallway dahil breaktime na. Mas nauna akong lumabas ng classroom kaysa sa mga babae. Habang ako nag lalakad sa hallway, may biglang humarang sakin na babae.

"Lily right?" ngiti niyang tanong.

"Oo, bakit?"

"Nothing. Peharps you know me right? I mean, everyone knows me in this school and I already introduced myself infront of class,"

"Yeah.. Bridgette. Bridgette is your name," sabi ko as I forced my smile. "What's up?"

"I heard some rumors about you," she gritted her teeth.

Huh? Agad nag salubong yung kilay ko with the confusion on my face.

"Na.. you were a 'b***h' daw? tapos.. 'pick me girl' type?" she chuckled. "I didn't mean to offend you, but that's what I've heard about you.. also, you flirted someone na may girlfriend na model? Elias ba 'yon? Oh wait.. Ezekiel! right?"

I didn't what to respond. Unang una, there were no rumors noon about sakin. Ni-hindi ngako ganoon kakilala sa school eh at hindi ko masyado close mga ibang kong kaklase. Paano ako magkakaroon ng rumors? Wala rin ako kaaway. 

And to Ezekiel.. what the hell was that?

"Wala namang rumors na kumalat sakin noon-"

"Shh! You don't need to deny it. I know.. I know it's a trauma for you.. but please, tell me the thing you flirted with Ezekiel isn't true right?"

"No!" mabilis kong pag tanggi. "Hinding hindi ko gagawin 'yon! And.. he's my boyfriend-"

"What?!"

"O-oo.. I mean, he's still courting me.. not a literal boyfriend,"

I saw her smirk pero agad din nag laho iyon. "Wow, I'm happy for you both. Tell Ezekiel I said 'hi'" she flipped her hair tapos kumindat.

Naglakad siya papalayo habang ako nakatulala pa rin. Hindi ko ma-proseso sa utak ko yung mga pinagsasabi niya. I knew it.. she's one of the girls who gossiped about me sa restroom last week.