The Senator's Husband

"This is your Captain speaking, welcome back to the Philippines." Napatingin ako sa bintana at nandito na nga kami dahilan para mapait akong ngumiti bago bumaling ulit sa magazine na inabot sakin ng stewardess kanina. Abot kamay na niya ang pangarap niya, huwag lang sana siya bumalik sa nakaraan. When we were just a kid, she dreamed a lot. A lot that I gave her a diary and told her to list down her plans when she becomes a woman, and promised to her that I'll be by her side in every checklist but I know she wouldn't let me anymore at ayoko rin naman makasira pa. Tama na siguro ang 15 years na pinaheram niya sakin. Dumiretso agad ako sa lobby ng airport, at pumewesto sa isang tabi, malayo sa mga tao para hindi ako masyadong tinitignan at baka mamukhaan ako, mahirap na wala pa naman akong dalang mga bodyguard dahil tumakas ako sa management ko. I'm definitely sure that they already texted my manager who's already in the country, nauna siya sakin noong last week para daw isettle ang lahat bago ang lahat. Atsaka ng tinurn on ko ang phone ko kanina lang nagtext na siya sakin at susunduin niya daw ako kaya hindi pa ako makaalis sa airport. Nilibot ko ang paningin ko sa labas, naka mirror wall kasi itong airport kaya kita mo talaga ang labas nito. Ganun pa rin naman, parang walang pinagbago, traffic pa din. Isa na atang signature ng Pilipinas ang malawakang traffic. Pero kalakip nito ang mga pamilyang naghihintay sa pag-uwi ng mahal nila sa buhay galing sa ibang bansa. Katulad nitong nakikita ko ngayon. A father and a mother who's crying on their daughter's shoulder while hugging her after she arrive. Happiness is all written on their faces. Napalunok lang ako ng may nakita din ako na magcouple, nagyayakapan. He sure is happy to see his girl. Napaiwas ako ng tingin at hinigit paibaba ang black cap na suot ko. Fck, can't I just forget about her? I need to forget her even I don't want too. "Andito ka lang pala." napataas ako ng tingin sa harapan ko. "Ang kulit mo talaga! Like akembang chika sayo that dapat next week ka aalis!" humalakipkip pa si Manager Jay tapos tinaasan pa ako ng kilay. I just smiled at him and stood up. "Good to see you again, Jay." I casually said. He pouted at me. "Janine nga kasi! It's Janine! my gosh papi, ha. Ang tanda mo na mentally, you forgot about it!" Sermon niya sakin. "Matanda naman ako ah." I teased him more. "Oo nga, 42 ka na! Pero yang feslak mo bentang benta pa rin sa hollywood people! Asan ang hustisya doon?!" I laughed at him because of his sentiments again. "and you also know diba? Kasabay ng flight mo, ang flight ng mahaderang Americana Samatha Howard. No wonder kaya ka latest naissue ka sa kanila, my gosh may maisusulat na naman ang mga paparazzi sa showbiz." Ah, Samie Howard, my female lead sa isang project but katatapos lang na magtake ng mga scenes almost two months ago pero bentang benta pa rin ang tandem namin sa kanila, tapos may nagpapakalat pa ng maling impormasyon tungkol saming dalawa. Iyong mga pictures na pinapakalat are all fake and scripted. We didn't even have a dinner just the two of us lahat ng pagkikita namin may mga proxy. I just let them be with their thought, it will disappear anyways in time just like the other fake scandals with other actresses and models before. Focus lang ako sa trabaho and nothing more. Kinuha ko na lang ang bag ko at hinayaan na magsalita na magsalita si Jay ng hinanakit niya doon sa babae, parang may kasalanan na ewan sa kaniya si Sam eh. Well almost lahat ata ng nagiging kapareha ko ayaw niya, masyado daw kasi silang pa-close at gagamitin lang daw ako para sumikat pa lalo. Well, Hollywood showbiz is a controversial world. If you are on tabloids everyday you'll never be a forget showbiz person, the same with if you have someone popular enough to back you up, your phone will be flooded with emails, calls, chat and even your personal phone with offered projects and money. I can say that I'm the most famous brand of all that can never get old. I started 8 years ago and counting but it never changes. They are still treating me like a ken doll fresh from a sealed box. But unlike Ken, I don't have a barbie beside me. I let her go, 8 years ago, I want her to be free from my monster. I want to keep her but it's a no, I damaged her enough. Nabalik lang ang diwa ko ng tapikin ako ni Jay. "Bukod sa traffic mukhang hindi lang iyon ang nanatili sa Pilipinas ng umalis ka ah." "Huh?" Wait, Am I that too distracted that I don't know that I'm inside the car already? Katabi ko si Jay, na nagpakawala ng ngisi sa mga labi niya. "Mukhang siya nga talaga ang dahilan kung bakit ka napapayag ng management na umuwi ng Pilipinas." habang umiiling pa ito. I scoffed and looked away from his teasing eyes. "You talk nonsense, Jay. Did you forget that we have scenes that need to be filmed here in the Philippines? I'm just playing that part, you know." It's true. I have this ongoing action project. One of the settings is in the Philippines. I can't back out now when we are in the middle of filming already. My handler management wouldn't like it, if I am backing out in the almost done project." "Sus dahilan ka pa eh." he sarcastically said after giving me the script that he reaches from my bag. "Read your script na, papi, the filming starts next week. Napakiusapan ko ang producer at director na bigyan ka ng one week man lang sa born nation natin na magliwaliw muna." He said that made me smile at him. One of the reasons why I want Jay to be my manager, beside the fact that I want to be surrounded by fellow Filipino off-screen but also he's my best friend since I went to the foreign country. It might sounds gay but I was nothing back my first months in States, until we met each other. He was a small talent scout and our management seems not to know. I wanted to help since Jay and his teams gave me a shelter to live and be with me in my dark times since I cut off my ties with my family and I was not totally in myself. For me to help them, they introduced me to the acting field and then weeks later I'm a big shot and the management were aligned to those famous brands. It was like a whirlwind, actually. I became famous in this instance and also repay them for their generosity. They said I contributed enough, that I can do whatever I want but this is what I want. I want to be busy. I want to live another persona just a little for awhile to runaway from myself and to forget about her. Sa isang condominium kami binaba ng driver, mukhang dito muna ako mananatili sa ngayon pero bukas gusto ko sa probinsya muna ako mamalagi tutal nandoon ang bahay ng pamilya ko. My parents is on Switzerland, they were happy the last time I tell them on the phone that I'll stay in the Philippines for a month, and I promised to them that I'll visit our house in Batangas before going back to States. Binuksan ni Jay ang pintuan ng condo gamit ang key card na binigay ng receptionist kanina. I sat down on the couch that I saw in the living room. Pagbukas mo ng pinto makikita mo agad yung living room sa dulo ng kwarto, tapos sa left side ng pinto nandoon agad yung kitchen area na mayroon na ding lamesa, habang yung kwarto ay nasa pinaka sulok sa right side corner ng living room, tapos ang bathroom katabi lang ng kitchen area. Pinasadya ko talaga kay Jay na huwag lagi ako ikukuha ng malaking space kapag out of the country kami, ayoko ng masyadong malawak kung ako lang naman ang titira. "For the last time, Miss. Kairo Jaze is not with Samantha Howard at this moment." inis na turan ni Jay sa telepono. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at tumingin sa labas, glasswall kasi ang pader sa dulo ng condo ko kaya kita ang labas. "Yes.. yes... my gosh ngayon ka lang tinubuan ng utak ha. What I mean is yes you're right it's pure coincidence that they have the same time of their flight....uh huh, please share this info for everyone. Thanks bye." Pumunta naman siya sa harap ko at pinameywangan. "Ikaw magpahinga ka na, ihahanda ko iyong kotse para bukas. Atsaka alam na ng media na nandito ka kaya kailangan na nating mag-ingat. Huwag kang lalabas ng condo mag-isa. Fresh from pick tomatoes pa sa media na nandito ka. So yeah, just rest ng bonggang bongga." "Do you know where she lives?" I unintentionally said. Damn, it was supposed to be in my mind. I looked at him who's raising his eyebrows at me. That also made me look away. "Ne-nevermind. Forget about what I said." I stood up and walked towards the bedroom door but before I held the doorknob he spoke again. "30 minutes drive from here. I will send you the full details of her address, later." he said and heard him sigh. "If you want to see her, you're free to do so. But make sure no one will see you.... even her." I opened the door and went inside after. Damn, why is it hard to forget her? Did she also forget about me? That's unfair to my side. I leaned to the door as I sat on the ground and put my left arm on my left knee. 'Rhielle, how have you been for the past few years?' Napapikit ako ng mariin habang ang imahe niya ay walang pagod na pumapasok sa utak ko. I want to see her. I badly want to see her again. It's been 8 years, that I saw her and left her... for good. Dapat lang na nagparaya ako dahil sa una pa lang hindi tamang kupkupin ko ang isang bagay na hindi naman akin kung tutuusin pero bakit nasasaktan pa rin ako? Damn, I'm must be a woman in my past life, masyado akong madrama para maging lalaki. Maagang akong naging, 5am. My body clock is still adjusting that's why I guess, I woke up early. I did my morning routine, I also jog outside the condominium kaya hindi maiiwasan na may mga taong nakakilala sakin kaya nagpapicture at sign ng autograph, konti lang naman sila dahil maaga pa. I don't mind being with my fans, they are one of the big reasons why am I now. Umiiwas lang ako sa mga paparazzi dahil hindi nila alam ang personal space but I respect that it's their job. Kinuha ko ang maleta ko at dinala ko sa kotse dahil maaga ako bya-byahe papuntang Batangas pero parang hindi ako mapakali habang binabaybay ko ang Edsa parang kailangan ko talaga itong gawin. Tumingin ako sa paligid at nakita ko na ang hinahanap ko. I sighed. "You're so fcked up, Kairo Jaze. So fcking fcked up." aniya ko sa sarili ko at mabilis na nag-u-turn. Wala pang trenta minutos ng marating ko ang subdivision kung saan siya nakatira ngayon. And now, I'm seeing her house. I park from other side of the road, konting layo sa bahay niya. Tama naman siguro ang address diba? Eto yung nakasulat sa text ni Jay. Masyado ata akong napaaga to think na lumalabas siya ng ganitong oras sa umaga. But it's 8 am now, she's a morning person I knew--well maybe once I known. Nagbago na kaya ang mga habit niya? Gusto pa rin ba niya ang mga alam ko? But it's okay if it change she still she for me no matter what. Pero dapat ako hindi na. Fck. I shook my head. What if she sees him? It's not a good idea for her to see me. Tahimik na siya! Bakit ko pa guguluhin? Fck, I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't ask Jay for her address, it's not healthy for me. Napahawak ako sa manibela at aalis na sana ako pero biglang bumukas ang gate ng bahay na minamatyagan ko. Ganoon na lang ang bilis ng t***k ng puso ko ng masilayan ko siya, siya ang lumabas. Ang babaeng sinasaktan ako after all this years. Nakaharap siya sa kinaroroonan ko, may kinakausap sa telepono na parang seryoso ang pinag-uusapan at mukhang papasok na siya ng trabaho dahil sa suot niya. Maganda pa rin siya, ganoon pa rin siya pero ang mata niya may sigla na. Hindi na siya katulad ng dati, may kulay na siya na ipinagkait ko. Umiwalas kahit konti ang nararamdaman kong lungkot dahil nakita ko siyang ngumiti pero sa huli ngumiti ako ng mapait ng lumabas ng bahay ang dahilan ng pag-ngiti niya. Masaya niyang niyakap ang babaeng bata na nakayakap sa bewang niya habang nakatingin doon sa lalaking kanina lang ay karga ang bata. Rhielle look at the guy lovingly while the guy did the same too. Wala ito sa magazine na nakita ko pero okay na rin siguro iyon mukhang gusto na niya talaga na ihiwalay ang trabaho niya sa personal na buhay na noon pa lang ay gusto na niyang mangyari pero pinagkait ko. I bitterly smile. She moved on from the pain and built a wonderful family of her own. 8 years later, I finally saw her happy... real this time. I'm happy for her yet I'm still in the past. Ito na siguro ang pinakamalaking sign na nakuha ko... hindi ko na kasi siyang pwedeng guluhin ulit. Ngayon pang alam ko na at nakikita na mismo ng dalawang mata ko. I think it's time for me to move on. Dahil may sariling pamilya na ang asawa ko at hindi ako kasama doon.