My Sister's Keeper

Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep Nora was startled awake by her 6 am alarm. Groaning, she lifted off the covers that had suddenly become so comfortable she felt as if she could cocoon herself back into blissful oblivion. Back to before Isla’s demise and to when everything seemed so innocent. But alas, she told herself that she had to get up. She had to be productive, or at least that’s what her therapist had told her. She thought back to yesterday’s session. “How do you feel about starting school tomorrow?” Silence “Your dad said that your friend Josie came back from her summer abroad. I bet you cannot wait to see her.” Still nothing although Dr. Crawford thought that she had seen the slightest scowl come across Nora’s face at the mention of her friend Josie. But as soon as it appeared it vanished just as quickly. And in its place was her emotionless mask. So, she started to question if it was even there. “Nora, you must start making an effort here. You come in and sit on my couch and say nothing until time is up.” Shrugging Nora simply said, “I have nothing of importance to say.” “Nora, it has been 3 months since your… well since Isla’s disappearance. Don’t you think it’s time that we start to unload whatever it is that you have all bottled up inside?” At that Nora’s eyes narrowed to tiny slits, “Don’t you dare bring Is…” she broke off tears forming behind her eyes. She couldn’t even say her name. She took a deep breath. She would be damned before she gave this woman the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Finding her composure, she bit back the overwhelming feeling of hitting this woman right in the face and finally said, “Don’t bring my sister into this. I am not going to unload anything. I’m going to sit right here for 15 more minutes bottling up, as you so elegantly put it, every feeling I have of my sister. Every.Fucking.One.” Making a point to pause between each word to make it known that Isla was not a topic of discussion. “Well, that is the most you have said all summer. Good, that’s good. Now we can build on that.” Aspirated Nora threw herself back as if trying to hide in the couch and crossed her arms hard against her chest. She glared at the clock to tic faster because she didn’t know how much more she could take. “Look all I ask is that when you get out of here and go back home you try to keep yourself busy. Do regular everyday mundane tasks. Take your medicine and eventually, you will find a way to live a rather normal life. Can you do that?” Nora just nodded in reply, and with that, Dr. Crawford swiftly sent her on her way to pack for home. Nora said nothing as she got up and walked out slamming the door with her exit. Nora reluctantly began to try to make herself look like a human again. She put her clothes on, nothing special. Just an oversized hoodie, leggings, and some slides. She brushed out her hair and tied it back into a messy bun that teetered on the top of her head almost making her feel like a bobblehead from the sheer weight of it. She breathed and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Looking back was a stranger, a mere ghost of her former self. Her stay in the hospital this summer had done a number on her body. Her clothes fit too baggy around her ever-shrinking frame. Her skin looked gray as if the life was being drained out of her. Her unruly hair was not used to being put up, coming loose of its binding in tousled brown curls that snaked out all over her head. Her hair had also lost its sheen looking rather dull. And her eyes looked distant, haunted. Who was she now? She didn’t even recognize herself anymore. “Well, that will have to do.” But she did have to admit that just going through the motions had raised her spirits even ever so slightly. She also began to think that maybe just maybe her doctor had been right. However, this tidbit she would stubbornly keep to herself because she didn’t want that woman to be right. That maybe going day to day as she had suggested might ease the pain even just a little and let her breathe. That maybe one day she could get up and go to school and be an average senior at Cotts County High School, Home of the Bears. And not the sad girl who everyone pitied because she most likely got her sister killed. And then the thought left as quickly as it came when she went past her sister’s bedroom door. She didn’t know how long she had been standing there. Curiosity had taken hold, and she found herself turning the knob opening the door. The familiar squeak of the hinges sent her into motion. She didn’t know what she had expected to see, but it wasn’t this. Isla’s room had been so well preserved. Almost exactly the way she had left it. Everything always neat and in its place. Nora almost felt like her sister would come trotting out of her bathroom in all her glorious beauty at any minute. Short, petite but still curvy in all the right places, perfect long straight auburn hair, pale skin, freckles lining her cheeks and nose, and eyes that would put the most beautiful sea to shame. Her smile could light up a room and even just thinking of Isla made Nora feel inadequate. Her younger sister always had the attention of well everyone. As they say, ‘men wanted her, and women wanted to be her’. In comparison Nora felt utterly beige. Chestnut hair, brown eyes, tan skin… just brown, different shades of brown. Forgettable and unremarkable in every way. She knew she shouldn’t compare herself to her perfect sister. However, Nora couldn’t help but always be a tad jealous of the attention her sister always received. Even from her dad. Although, she was sure he hadn’t meant to choose favorites. That being said though, Nora knew her place. She did always try to remind herself that Isla never even tried to get such affections. She was only being herself. Isla was always naturally beautiful, and kind, and witty, so sweet, and charismatic. Being perfect had always came as easily to her as breathing and it was simply hard to stay mad at her. Even though she knew her sister was gone and most likely never coming back it still felt like invading her privacy by being in her room unannounced. She looked around once more and shut the door, leaving those memories behind for her sister. She walked into the kitchen to make herself something to eat before school. Her dad had left her a note on the fridge to let her know he was already at work and that her lunchbox was packed and in the fridge. Sighing to herself she thought of course he is already gone probably so he didn’t have to deal with her, the spare daughter. He probably blames her for Isla’s disappearance as well. Like she isn’t already punishing herself enough for it. She is the older sister. She is supposed to protect her baby sister. She is already filled with so much remorse and regret, and she doesn’t feel the need to tack on her dad’s frustrations as well. Feeling as though she had lost her appetite, she slammed and locked the door and drove to school. *** Throwing her car in park, Nora looked up to the huge brick structure in which she receives her education. All the angry confidence that she was feeling earlier dwindled down to anxiety and her legs were feeling like they were being held down by cement and just wouldn’t move. Cotts County High School is like Julliard but for the athletically inclined. Bomber jackets, uniforms of all kinds: band, soccer, baseball, football, basketball, and Nora’s preference of cheer leading. She caught a glimpse of her squad practicing, her chest tightened, and her pulse quickened. Given her circumstances she had not been able to participate in the summer practice. But purple and gold ran through her blood. If she couldn’t be a cheerleader, she had no idea how she was going to make it through senior year. She walked up to them and everything halted mid rehearsal. Nora was supposed to be their cheer captain but found that in her absence Sophia Benchetti had taken her place. Nora thought what a backstabbing b***h as Sophia with her Italian heritage with her tan skin, long black hair, and dark hazel eyes walked right up to her. “Oh, hey Nora, we didn’t know if you would be starting school so soon. We thought you were still in the Umm hospital.” “Nope I escaped yesterday.” Clearly missing Nora’s sarcasm and looking worried she whispers, “that’s not funny Nora. You had better be joking or you could get in a lot of trouble.” “Of course, I am joking Sophia. I got out yesterday for the start of school. So is this when you guys are practicing, because I can come sooner if need be.” Nora glanced up and paled when she locked eyes with her ex best friend, Josie. Josie was short with long, blonde, beach waved hair that almost touched the back of her knees, dark thick eyebrows that set off her beautiful amber eyes. A grim line took place over both girls smiles. After an awkward moment of silence, Josie reluctantly said, “Oh Nora, I am so sorry we didn’t think you would be ready so soon. We added Kate and Sadie to the team and made Sophia the captain.” “Are you f*****g kidding me Josie? Surely you guys are f*****g with me. I worked so hard to become cheer captain. Isla worked so hard with me to get into varsity this year. How dare you guys just replace us.” Sophia trying to explain the situation, “We didn’t have a choice, Nora. Isla is missing and you went MIA to that hospital. We couldn’t very well wait around forever.” “I am better now. I talked to my therapist, and she wants me to go back to regular life. And regular life is cheer. That’s all I know.” She looked down not wanting to admit, “I ain’t a great student. I don’t play any sports. Cheer is all I have, and you guys have now taken even that from me.” “Nora you can be on the junior varsity team this year. You can still have cheer, just not varsity cheer. I am sorry, but we have all made up our minds and we can’t very well have an extra team member when we go to regionals. The numbers won’t add up.” Sophia added. Nora couldn’t take It anymore; she turned and ran toward her car before she burst in to tears. She will not cry in front of those traitors. How dare they forget about Isla. How dare they replace them so soon. How dare they just give up on them.