HIGHSCHOOL OUTCAST

It was early morning I'm off to a new school which is a new start, this is the first day of school the service has picked me up. I transferred because my best friend Ang recommended this school, I pushed my luck with my mom and my grandmother about this school. My mom and her other siblings went to this school. Thats why my brother and sister and me transferred. Our old school was fine but it was small nothing like this big school. This was a big school which I guess is better than my old school. I'm a freshmen, I have to make a good impression academically. I wanna do good, to be able to make a difference. Being a big school, theres a lot of new faces. I was scared, but I'm never scared. I took everything gutsily which was how I take things usually. My Mom left us when I was six and left me my brother and my sister with my carefree dad which in turn we were took under the care of my grandmother, grandfather and her sisters. It was a boring life because it was a typical traditional strict family. It was suffocating but it has its benefits. We were still supported financially by my Mom because of the carefree attitude he didn't seem to think he is responsible to us, although he takes us out every sunday to go to church and eat out. It was kind of a routine.  Now back to the first day of school, I was s**t hell scared. All I know is I'm smart and its time to start fresh and I shouldn't be scared. As I was looking at the board in the hallway where you can see your name in the hallway on what section you belong I felt icky, I feel like someone or all of the people are staring at me. I ignored this feeling and continue to search for my name. s**t Ang is not in my section what luck. f**k Im alone, this is scary but somehow I had to face this s**t alone. I walked confidently ignoring my nervousness and my irritation for being alone. Im always gutsy brave and proud thats one of the characteristics you cannot take away from me.  I walked to the rooms looking for Kim, she's at the second section and somehow I ended up at the last section. No surprise, I feel like I'm smart but I cannot project it, I could not say why I feel I'm smart but I'm actually cannot emit it on my grades. Gosh thats frustrating. Its like the feeling of being strong but trapped in this small 4 feet body when you feel like you can be 7 foot tall. I hate all this emotions, I guess part of being a 13 year old is being testosterone 'y. f**k this life. I keep swearing in my life and proceeded to my room.  When I entered the front door s**t everybody is looking. I didn't care, feeling all gutsy and stuff again walked in front carrying my barbie backpack and walked to chair. Everyone was seated and chatted seems like they have already their own cliques. Too bad for me. I was seated beside this boy who had an awful bad breath and asked him "Hi so whats your name?" he seemed shy and said "Delmond" thats so far what I got out of him, no chance there.  As the Teachers come and go introducing themselves, I felt bored. There was this crappy guy who feels like his a know it all whose looking all schmuck smirking and looking at me. What the f**k is his problem. I sneered and continued doing what I'm doing getting my new ball pen and notebook, which I was excited about because this was pretty big. I don't know having a new notebook always excites me and having to use a ball pen when before we only used pencil. I was excited as hell because when we were young I remember me and my brother always saves up and whenever its time to go home I remember requesting our service to stop by a small shop so that we can buy new notebooks.  Lunch was finally upon us, I had money and a juice and cupcakes. My grandmother was not able to pack me lunch but I guess this is enough. I decided to go to the other room where Ang was, s**t they were still in class. I decided to go to the canteen to check out the food. Yuck no edible food in there but I do like chocolates, suddenly my little sister came running after me with her very long hair entangled and ruffled. "Hey sis! can you give me money." Ugh ok I really wanna cut all those hair and tie it up, but she was stubborn as hell what to do she was only grade 4. I gave her 5 bucks and she ran away smilling at me. I love her to death but somehow she can get into my nerves sometimes. Oh no its already time so I went back and decided to wait up with this boring class. Finally it was time to go home. I felt like I was hungry so i decided to check out the canteen again, I didnt eat lunch after all. Just ate my cupcakes and juice. Looking at the menus I wanted to have chocolate but s**t i gave my money to my sister so I decided to walk back to the service. We had time to kill to wait for the upper year level to finish. We still had an hour. While I was walking in the pathway. I saw this boy. The whitest boy I have ever seen his complexion was flawless. Weird but I had this kinda icky feeling again same way I felt early this morning while I was checking the boards. He was walking opposite me. It was a long walk I get to afford to look at how he is, Its like his jump walking thats weird. I noticed how his shirt and pants seem to be not fitting him anymore it was kinda funny but I did not laugh, it looks weird that it does not look bad on him even if it does not fit anymore. When we were about to cross path he arranged his hair and looked shyly down. I shrugged and arranged my backpack and walked past him. Ok ok his cute. but silly, who was he, I think I got to know his name. Only one way to find out. I gotta find Ang first I do wish I can talk to someone, Its pretty tough being alone.