On Edge

Morning

I opened my eyes to see my best friend laying beside me. He was still sleeping, he look so innocent. I looked up to the ceiling and started counting backwards and the I remembered yesterday. I remembered how I felt yesterday, how my date went.

"Morggie" I heard a voice laced with laziness say.

"Morggie you up".

"yea I'm up" I responded and turned toward him.

"What you want for breakfast?" he said in the same tone only difference was now he was looking me straight in the eye.

"Bacon and waffles with icecream as a side" I responded in such a childish voice, it kinda reminded me of Dinosaur Train.

"Okay, your wish is my command" and with that he sprung up out of bed went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth and headed down the stairs. Here I was alone in his room and all I could think of was what had happened with Robert. Why would he hurt me like that, he couldn't even see all he had to do was choose me and it would've been okay, I guess, I be wanting too much. Richard entered the room with a tray of bacon on waffles and a cup of strawberry icecream on the side.

"Breakfast is served" he said.

"Thank you" and I decided to wrap it off with one of my signature fake smiles.

"Okay tell me everything now Morgan" He called me Morgan, he doesn't do that unless he's mad at me, oh boy-

"Speak" and with that I took a deep breath.

"Bri kept on calling him, he had plans with her and me on the same night".

"So he double booked, typical, what else ?, because I know there is something else".

"I thought that he would choose me".

"What do you mean" richard looked like a confused puppy at this moment in time.

"Bri thinks she owns everyone and everything and the only person that had ever denied her of the attention she desires is you and she hates me for it. I wanted someone, other than my best friend, someone I could make out with to choose me. It was stupid they've known each other forever and bros before hoes right?. But if he had just put her in her place it would've been okay". I realised that letting all that out made me feel so much better.

"Morggie, I know what you mean, but not everyone sees things like you do, he might not trust you enough to do that yet or he honestly didn't see anything wrong with what he did, us boys can be really blind sometimes. Did you explain any of this to him ?"

"No I didn't" I said harshly.

"He should realize, guys on a while should realize, what if the tables had switched and I double booked with you, he wouldn't like that, so why do that with me"I added.

"Morggie, look I hate seeing you hurt but if you continue not explaining how you feel, like 100% how you feel; you are going to end up getting hurt really badly".

"uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Shut up you retard" he hit me with the pillow.

"Who you calling retard you thot" I lashed back and launched towards him and started hitting him. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder just to throw me in the bed. He came over me and pinned me down, he leaned in towards my lips and I layed there I stopped struggling and just let him win. I thought he was about to kiss me the way he was looking at me untill he moved away from me to the edge of the bed and said

"It's time to get ready for school". When he moved back, I moved forward. I kneeled on the bed and grabbed him and pulled him towards me.

"I love you Richard, you mean so much to me" and his eyes lingered at my lips.

"Stop acting all mushy gushy and go take a shower Morggie" he said. I got up went into his closet and took out some sweats and a T-Shirt I had left at his house just in case and put out the same sneakers I wore last night. I headed towards his bathroom and when I reached inside I closed the door behind me. I decided to take a bathe instead of a shower this morning. I took my clothes off and I turned to water on in the bath tub, I added soap to the tub and I walked around the bathroom singing untill the tub was ready. I got in the tub and I leaned back, I closed my eyes and 1,2,3,4,5- and with that I went underneath the water. The water silenced so many things. I'm always at peace under water. Finally I emerged from underneath the water. It was like a mini baptism, no priest, no church just me and the water purifying my soul. I stepped out of the tub and put my towel on. I left the bathroom and went back into Richard's room to get dress. I had finished putting on my undergarments and my sweatpants, just as I was putting my T-Shirt on Richard walked in the room.

"How did you get dressed so quickly, did you even bathe?" I asked.

"Yes, I used the guess bathroom, you were in the bathroom for awhile" he responded.

"Oh, sorry" honestly I didn't realize how long I was in the bathroom for it felt like 5 minutes.

"Stop apologizing to me, you ready to go ?"he asked.

"Yea I'm ready"I said as I pulled my T-Shirt on.

We both left his room and ran down the stairs. His mom was in the kitchen so I ran to tell her goodbye . And out the door we went after that. I hoped in the car and we were off to school.