Anima

The idealization of emotions is far-fetched for me. While I understand that it exists for mortals, my divinity could never fathom its depths. Such an irony to my role as the personification of lust, the driving force for humanity's pride. Growing up, I knew there was something wrong about me. No amount of toys can suffice, and no validation can quench my thirst - I have always wanted more than what I can have. Writing, however, helps. The wringing in my head mutes itself as I type each word, turning the emotions I fail to feel into logic. It was the only way for me to cope. My mind is an abyss of thoughts, and I have to find a way not to drown. "You know, if I can't save you, then let's drown together," she whispered against my ear. Her face was blurry, but her voice sent a different level of comfort to my being. I was about to touch her cheeks when I felt a pair of arms wrapped around my waist. Slowly, I opened my eyes and realized it was morning already. "Good morning, Rain," a sultry voice greeted me as I turned. The sheets cover almost nothing, her proud breasts exposed before my eyes. Flashbacks of what happened last night instantly flooded my brain, making me forget the dream I have always had since I was thirteen. Her fingertips traced the outline of my jaws before leaning in for a peck on the side of my lips. "The s*x was wonderful, babe. Please go harder on me next time," the woman, Atasha, as I remembered her name from last night, spoke as her lips brushed against mine. I smirked in response but decided to pull away. "I know I'm great, darling, but you have to leave. I have a business meeting at 10. My company won't run itself." I made my way into the bathroom, not minding her profanities. I don't have time for sluts like her. I could get another one if I want to. She's not my lost. I told myself as my body relaxed against the cold shower. She was hot, that can't be denied. She gave me a night of glorious s*x, too. But that's it. It was all that there was for me. s*x. "Greetings, Master," Rock, my personal valet chimed as I made my way into the car. I simply nodded my head in response, totally engaged in my Ipad. My jaws clenched when I saw our most recent sales flunked behind our competitor's brand. With no second to waste, I dialled my brother's number. "Yow, good..." "How the f**k did this happened," my voice low and hoarse. "Dude, chill. It's just a 0.03% mark. We can easily outnumber them in sales once our operations return to normal," he calmly responded. "Beelzy, a 0.03 can easily increase to 1 if we don't do something about this bullsht. How the hell did this happen anyway," I gritted through my teeth. "The fire slowed our operations. The repair costed us millions, and the media didn't took it well. It is normal to have these kinds of setbacks from time to time, brother. It can't hurt our wealth, can't it," I heard him chuckled before ending the call. I sighed before looking outside. It was a quarter before nine and the streets are full of buzzing people. Some are losing it while looking at their wristwatches while others seem to take their time. Life is indeed unfair for those who can't afford it. I wonder what it's like to live like them. "For someone who used to be carefree, you're such a worrywart, master," Rock said as he glanced at the rearview mirror. "It's not really about losing, isn't it? It's a matter of whom you're losing to," he continued. As much as I don't want to pay any attention to his remarks, I know he's hitting the spot. "Why does it have to be her, Rocky." "She's simply doing business, Regen. It's not something personal," he shrugged as he parked in front of the tall building with a big R on top. Business, huh? Maybe it was all that there is for my mother. Money and business.