Say It

Chapter 10: Flashback

Cassies POV:

Of course, my doctor would have to be Lincoln's twin brother. Claudia' s happy, I can tell by the smirk on her lips, but I'm not. Thank goodness it's not female problems. "I didn't realize you were a doctor."

"Oh yes, ma'am. I have my own practice, but work here at times when they struggle with staffing or if they're super busy." All I manage is to nod my head. He has got to be too good to be true. "But Cassie, what brings you in tonight?" He plops down on his spinning chair and scoots closer to the bed.

I explained everything that had happened this evening. The bar, my meds, throwing up, and constant dizziness. He began to nod his head before sticking his stethoscope to my upper chest and listening. "And why did you go to the bar? If you don't mind me asking,"

I huff out, reliving my frustration that was caused by his brother. "Your obnoxious brother." He lowly chuckles and moves around to listen to my lungs.

"I see. And what of the medicine? What do you take and why? Unfortunately, this I do need to know."

"C-can't you see m-my chart?" He scoots back around and looks at me for a moment.

"I could, yes. But I'd like to know from your own mouth."

My hands begin to fidget because, unlike Jameus, Ryder isn't a stranger. "She takes klonopin for night terrors brought on by PTSD." Claudia spits out and I'm thankful. There are some battles I don't mind her fighting for me. Ryder looks over to her, nodding understandingly.

"If you don't mind me asking, why do you have PTSD? And Cassie, I know you know my brother, but please understand that whatever is spoken about here stays here. I will never speak about the things you talk with me about. Especially my brother. Unless you ask me to. The only way I'll ever speak with anyone is with your permission, or if you have plans to hurt yourself or someone else."

"Okay, thank you."

"Of course."

Briefly, we discuss my past. I also throw in recent events have caused my nightmares to be tenfold. "I haven't taken my medicine this often in a long time. I mean, I'm in no way abusing it, but could it be my body not being use to it?"

He leans himself against the counter, taking every word I've spoken, unsure where to really begin. "I don't think your meds would cause this kind of reaction just because you hadn't previously taken them so often. You were still occasionally taking them. Also, if they didn't cause this kind of reaction when you first started taking them, it's unlikely they would cause it now." He crosses his left arm over his chest and rests his right elbow on it, playing with the collar of his lab coat. "And you don't drink?"

I shake my head to answer. "Well, I'd like to run some test on a sample of your blood. It could have been a mix of things, panic attack, exhaustion, your meds, but I'd like to rule some things out." He stands and pulls out a packet of items to draw my blood. "I need to make sure my brother isn't going to be a father." He blurts out and turns smirking at me. Claudia begins laughing, shaking her head because my face is red hot. I'm so embarrassed. "I'm only joking, Cassie. Ha, okay. Now you'll feel a small pinch."

It's been over an hour now and we are still waiting for the results of any test he ran. He didn't tell me the kind of tests he was running, so I'm not entirely sure I should be worried. He kindly brought Claudia and I a snack and a sprite. From our brief time last week, we learned about his two daughters, one of which Lincoln compared me to, and his wife that he lost. The little we know about him has made it easy to understand that he is a kind calm man, but something is bugging me, so when he came back to check on us, I asked.

"Why didn't you tell me about Lincoln?" At first his face looks panicked like he was asked about something he isn't suppose to mention. Something that's forbidden. "I know he's my boss now, so you can talk about it." And just like that, relief washes over his face as he raises his brows looking down. What are they hiding?

"Right, well, Lincoln asked me not to tell you. He said you are a very bright young lady and he was pleased they decided to hire you, but he thought it was pretty hysterical you didn't research enough to discover who operated the company you wanted to be a part." He shoots me a genuine smile, leaning against the door frame. "What did the big bad boss say to bother you so bad anyway?"

I roll my eyes, but oblige and give him answers. He snorts a few times, then brings his hand to his mouth in a fist coughing, allowing his throat to clear. "Sorry, but my brother is a super ass. He has never had a way with words. Every time he opens his mouth, something wrong leaves it and I'm not sure it's entirely his fault. Our father was much like him. They had a deep connection and the love was always present, no doubt, but they never seemed to agree and always butted heads." He throws his hands in his pockets and snickers. "Once my mother had worked very hard to lose weight to fit into a dress she adored. My father, trying to compliment her new curves in her waist and thighs, said "Did you gain weight, because you are looking very thick, my love." I choked on the air I was trying to peacefully breathe. My mom practically ran out of the room, hysterical. He was dumbfolded. Had absolutely no clue what he said. So while the way he worded it was completely stupid, he was more likely trying to get you to tell him what was bothering you."

I nodded my head understanding, but it still hurt my feelings that he thought I would respond to that, or to think he was so swallow he only cared for the money he made off me.

A ping coming from Ryder makes us all jump. He pulls his pager out, quickly glancing at it. "Your results are back. Give me just a moment and I'll be back." With that, he turns and leaves us once again.

"He is so fine, girl." I grin. I knew she was in trouble the moment he caught her from. All he did was stop her from bruising that big ass ego.

"Ask him out."

"You are joking?" I lift my brows, wordlessly telling her I definitely was not. "Hell no girl. I don't want to seem desperate. I'm totally for the movement of a woman asking out the man, but sweetie, I want to be shown I'm the queen that I know I am." she checks to make sure he isn't making his way back before she finishes her thought. "I want him to beg, not for a date." She smirks, throwing me a wink causing a hurd of giggles to erupt from my abdomen.

"Babe, you are a queen, maybe even more so if you ask. Show him who is in charge. Queens take what they want, they don't sit and wait." She sucks her bottom lips and lightly grinds it between her teeth, thinking over what I told her. Before she has a chance to answer, Ryder appears in the doorway, looking much paler than before.

"Alright, Cassie. Nothing to major. It seems your medicine has caused you to become anemic." He smiles apologetically. "I guess I was wrong about it not being your medicine. It's just a very rare side effect. It more than likely was the case of not taking them so often."

I let out a breath. Glad it was nothing major. "And how are we going to treat it?"

"We're going to start you on some, hopefully, temporary vitamins and medicines. Folate, Cyanocobalamin, and, of course, iron. I hope since this isn't a condition you've had for a long time, that with stopping your medicine and starting a different kind, along with the help of what I'm prescribing you, you'll be good as new in a couple of months." My eye widen. A couple of months? "I know that seems like a long time, but without treatment, it will only get worse and become a bigger issue."

Thankfully, we are able to go home by 8 and both Claudia and I are worn down. we take our turns showering and head for bed. One more day of work and the weekend once again.

Lincolns POV:

I plan to ask Cassie for lunch today. I just hope she accepts. I was such an ass to her yesterday and I wasn't trying to be. I swear, half the time I don't know what I'm saying until I hear it. I take the elevator to her floor and pray she's here already.

"Is she in?" I ask Stacy.

"Uh, I think so, but I doubt she wants to see you. She was angry when she left yesterday afternoon." She says with extra sass in her tone.

I roll my eyes and just wave her off, walking down the hall to find my Cassie girl. I get to her door and knock a couple times before I hear her tell me to come in. I open the door and lean against the frame. I just stand and watch her already intensely working on a book. It's barely 7 in the morning and she looks as if she's been working for hours.

" Good morning." I said. She pops her head up and stares at me for a moment before nodding.

"Morning." She hesitates for a second like she wants to pop off at me again and I wouldn't blame her. "What can I do for you, sir?" Her lips linger on sir longer than necessary. My brow draws up with anticipation, waiting for something more to leave her lips. She clears her throat and I realize I'm living in my own fantasy and shake my head to erase the thoughts forming to form new ones.

"Uh, right, Don't call me sir. It does something to me I don't think you want me to act on." Shes blushes and turns her face down fast to try to hide it, but I've already caught my glimpse. "Have lunch with me." I know I should ask her, but it gives her a chance to say no.

"Shouldn't you be asking me?"

"Nope." I pause. "Have lunch with me today, please."

She stares blankly at me. She nervously rubs her legs. "I don't know. I'm not sure that that would be a great idea." She gives me a knowing look.

"Cassie, I'm sorry. I am so sorry for how yesterday played out. It was in no way suppose to end like that. I knew you might have been a little upset with me once you found out the truth-" Before I can even finish my thought, she holds up a hand to stop me.

"I'm not upset you are the boss, Sir. I'm upset that you told me the only reason you cared about what I was going through was because it effected your money." Anger flowed from her sweet lips and dripper off her words like venom. Now I really understood. I needed to be completely sure.

"I know. And I know nothing I say to you now could make up for the things I said. Only my action can show how sorry I am. Yes, in part I was in boss mood and I needed you to tell me what was going on and I thought that was the only way to get you to tell me. Clearly I was wrong."

She leans back in her chair, staring me down like I might shapeshift in a instant. "Clearly." Was the only thing she said to me. She stared a minute or two more before looking back at her work and practically ignoring my existence.

"Very well. I'll speak with you later." I turn and begin to walk out when her words stop me.

"Come and ask me later." Still looking into the hall, knowing she couldn't see me, I grin until my face hurts and walk up to my office.

Cassies POV:

I was truly anxious. I knew I would say yes to him when he came down later to ask me again to lunch. I needed to keep him waiting and just as anxious as I was. He had a lot of actions to do if he was going to make it up to me. He could start with lunch and we'll going from there. My heart beats for Lincoln and I know it. That scares me more than I care to admit. We hardly know each other, but he's all I think about. I have a constant pull to be near to him. Now knowing we are in the same building makes my heart race. This feeling is completely foreign to me. I didn't even feel this for Trey. Understandably.

I am working again on the same manuscript I was yesterday when Stacy interrupted me and trying to finish it so I can start another. I worked for a few hours, paying no mind to anything in the world around me and I finally finished my manuscripts. it ended unexpectedly. It completely threw me off, what I love in a book. It was actually amazing and I will be pushing this book. I hope the author has a sequel. The ding of my phone calls for my attention, which I give it. To my surprise, it's Jameus.

*J: I hope I'm not bothering you, I was just wondering if you would like to get lunch..?

I smile at my phone. *C: Not a bother at all. I was actually finishing up a manuscript. But I'm not sure about lunch.

I sit my phone down and pack up my desk a little. I hate to leave my desk a mess, even if it's just for lunch.

*J: And why not?

*J: Sorry, that sounded pushy. If you don't mind me asking..

*C: My boss asked me to lunch. I think I may go with him and hear him out.

I go ahead and collect all of my things so they are ready for when Lincoln comes down to ask me to lunch again. As the minutes tick by, my nerves begin to build and my breathing is heavy. I don't know why I'm getting so anxious. It's just Lincoln. It's just Lincoln, my boss, the man of my dreams, the first man I didn't flinch away from because he touched me intimately. Lincoln is more than just my boss. I can try to deny it as much as I want to, but that's the truth and I know he feels it too.

*J: Wow, I'm shocked by you. A little disappointed after what you told me last night. You shouldn't be going on a date with him.

I sigh and just toss the phone in my bag. I'm shocked by myself, but what place does he think he has in my life to judge me. And it's not a date. Ten more minutes pass by, so I decide to go talk to Stacy. Maybe she has answers for me.

"Hey, um, have you seen your brother?" She looks up at me for moment, a little confused. "It's just we were suppose to have lunch and I haven't heard from him. I texted him, but I haven't heard anything."

She smiles at me apologetically, knowing something I don't. "I'm sorry, Cas. His ex from a few years ago came by. They left about twenty minutes ago." I can't seem to form words, so my mouth just falls into an 'O' form. Maybe he really doesn't feel like I do. I nod and walk to the elevator, pulling out my phone.

*C: Actually open for lunch if you still have time? I'll pay.* I send the text before I can talk myself out of it. I walk down the street to Ginas. It's a little diner I found at the beginning of the week that has amazing burgers.

*J: I guess that sounds like a pretty good deal to me as long as tonight is still on. I'm just closing the office for lunch. Where should I meet you?

I quickly text back and begin to feel giddy. My thoughts wonder to seeing him plop down on the seat next to mine last night. His hair a slight mess and a little greasy from running his hand through it because of anxiety. His disheveled state made it a bit easier to speak with him. He was relatable. Suddenly, the door to the diner swings open and in walks more than the shell of a man I talked with last night. His messy quiff is now neatly combed over to the right side clearly ready for the work day. His light peanut brown eyes shine as he spots me off in the corner and wonders over to me. I know he was working in an office but he's in jeans and a nice button up with a pair of Sperry-like shoes. His dark complexion compliments his bright smile. The man is truly beautiful.

He gives me a quick friend-like hug before taking a seat. "I'm glad you got back in touch. It made me happy. Now I get two dates with a beautiful woman." His wink is discrete, but my blush is not. I smile back at him, unsure what to say.

"So, you work in an office, but you're dressed like you just posed for a Belk magazine." I giggle a little until I see he's not chuckling or smiling really. He looks mystified, like I have suddenly grew two heads. "What? Did I offend you?"

"No, it's just," He pauses and smiles. "Um, what is Belk?" he finally says which earns a fit of laughter from me. I thought I had said something stupid with my big mouth that has no filter.

"It's a*****e from back home, South Carolina. It's like, uh," I stop and think about what stores they may have here. "J. C. Penny, Kohl's, Dillards." It registers to him and he nods.

"Ah, I understand ." He falls silent again before his eyes pop open wide and his grin spreads from ear to ear.

"Well, if you must insult me for my stylish jeans and button-up shirt, not to mention my comfortable shoes, I'll tell you what I do. I'm a vet. I own a clinic about two miles up the road." A vet how very sexy. "Meaning I don't have to wear dress suits or something I can't breathe in." He raises his brow at my outfit and smirks.

I'm wearing a green bishop-sleeve button-up blouse and rusty brown palazzo pants with the zipper in the back with strappy mule sandals with chunky heels. "I think I look pretty hot, thank you! And I can breathe just fine; it's stretchy." I teasingly toss my hair to the side and stick out my tongue.

He smirks and leans forward resting his elbows on the table. "Yes, you are." I shyly smile back and my gut starts turning like something is wrong. It almost feels like I'm cheating on Lincoln. Which is ridiculous!

"You're not to shabby yourself." I smile at him.

"Shabby?" He raises an eyebrow and leans his head forward a bit. "What time period are you from and why have you taken over this young girls body?" He smiles as he point an accusing finger at me. All I can do is laugh. I don't think I'm completely old soul, but maybe just maybe I am. "So, what kinds of music do you like?"

"Oh, all the old stuff, but my favorite is probably Queen." I say excited. If he were still alive, I'd give my last dime to watch him play.

His sudden snarl of nose tells me he's not a fan, but I don't think I was quite expecting his question. "But isn't he gay?" I kind of lean back, dumbfolded that that's even a question.

"Why is that even a question?"

"Oh, no. Sorry, I don't mean it like that. I meant like if you have a crush on him, but he's gay." He pauses for a moment seeing I'm not understanding. "s**t, okay. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it like that." I think for a minute. It was definitely worded wrong, but I think he's being honest, so I nod.

"Okay, I believe you. You really need to learn how to word things better." I say and scoot my chair into the table as the waitress shows up with our food. After we get over the awkward hump, conversation is pretty easy. Mostly talk about his office and how he got into that kind of work. When we are ready to leave, he offers me a ride even though GHP is just up the road and I accept. He drops me off like a true gentleman and even walks me up to my floor. We quickly chat in the lobby and he give me a kiss on the cheek just as the elevator doors open and Lincoln steps out. He clears his throat and Jameus takes his leave.

Before the doors close to carry him down, he shouts, "See you tonight goregous." and the doors close leaving me behind.

"See you tonight?" Lincoln asks, jealousy sprawled across his face. "I thought you didn't want to date? I guess you just didn't want to date me." He presses the button of the elevator and turns away from me.

"And I thought you were going to take me to lunch?"

He turns back to me bewildered. "You told me no!"

"I said ask me again! Which meant yes."

"Oh well, someone better get me the dictionary made by women because I don't understand your games."

"Oh please, the only reason you didn't come back down was because your girlfriend showed up and you forgot all about me." He pulls back a little, surprised I knew he was at lunch with an ex. "But you know what? It doesn't matter one bit. We aren't together, hell, we haven't gone on one date."

"And whose fault is that?"

"It's not you tried asking again. You acted like a child about it and then bombarded me with the fact that you're the boss. And then tried to use my job as a way to make me open up to you." By this point, Stacy is standing close to Lincoln, holdng on to his arm trying to get him to see reason, which doesn't matter because I don't. The elevator doors close just as he presses the button again and pull back to life.

"We shared one kiss and all of a sudden you don't want to date? Sounds a little fishy to me." He steps on the elevator but the doors don't close fast enough before I open my mouth and blurt out,

"My abusive ex just escaped prison, so EXCUSE ME if I have more important things on my mind like him hunting me down!" The doors shuton his and Stacy stunned faces unable to react in time to make the elevator stop moving.

I turn and stomp my way to my office and close and lock the door, now understanding and grateful for it having one. I let out a frustrated noise and plop down into my desk chair. I harshly wipe away the tears stealing away from my eyes and begin to work. I don't know why I was crying. Was it for telling him something I was ready to tell him? Or was it I feel like I was already losing someone I had just gotten? But was he really even mine? No. He wasn't and my stupid heart would have to figure it out or this job wouldn't last very long.